(Chapter Seventeen)
With her hair in a ponytail and her only makeup being a soft shade of pink lipstick. She looked at least ten to fifteen years younger, but it was definitely Dee Dee.
Keeping out of sight, he watched as she and Mark stepped to the entrance of one of the rides. Once the ride started, Dee Dee's face lit up with smiles and laughter as speed and momentum pushed her against Mark.
Rick wanted her to be happy, but it hurt him that he wasn't the one to provide such joy. He was satisfied to see that she looked well, but knowing her as well as he did, he knew she was still suffering. Who wouldn't be? It was even tougher for him to know that she said she never wanted to see him again, but could it be possible that she may have a change of heart? Did he dare take the chance at finding out?
He stood by the gate as the two, still laughing, exited the ride. Unsure of what to say, he waited with baited breath for them reach him.
They made eye contact. Her smile disappeared. She stopped in her tracks.
"Dee Dee." Rick spoke her name.
Mark gently took her arm and moved her out of the path for the other patrons.
Without a word, Dee Dee turned and walked away as Rick and Mark spoke to one another.
Mark excused himself and caught up with her. "Are you okay?"
"Why did I have run into him?"
Before she got an answer, Rick was at her side. "Dee Dee, I'm not here to bother you. I just happened to be here to meet someone about a case."
"If you're not here to bother me, why are you talking to me? You didn't have to say one word to me." Dee Dee frowned and shook her head. "Don't you get it? I told you to leave me alone and I meant it."
Rick nodded. "Right, and I don't mean any harm. I'm just glad to see that you're out and about."
He may have been going against his better judgment, but he had to let her know how he felt. "I'm not giving up, Dee Dee. Someday you'll realize that I would never hurt you on purpose. You knew it before and you'll know it again."
Dee Dee took Mark by the hand. "We came here for a good time. Let's go."
Mark told Rick to take care and then walked away with Dee Dee.
Rick had seen Dee Dee take Mark's hand and though he appreciated that the man was looking after her, he was beginning to wonder even more if they'd grown closer than he'd like. Once again, he thought that if they had, maybe Alex was right when he said he'd never have Dee Dee, even if he died.
Dee Dee and Mark spent three hours at the park and enjoying ever moment of it, except for the moment spent with Rick. When they arrived home, Mark expected that she may want to discuss her feelings about seeing him, but she didn't bring him up.
The next few days were spent lounging around the pool, going for rides, out to dinner, watching movies and talking. During a late evening around the pool, Dee Dee gained her courage to ask Mark for more details about his ex-girlfriend who was nearly his fiancee.
"She used me. She wanted to become a singer and though I tried to help, apparently it wasn't enough. She's very talented, but it's not like I can force anyone to sign her, you know?"
Dee Dee nodded. "Yes, I know."
I do think she cared for me, but wasn't deeply in love with me. I mean, how could she have been, considering what she did?" Mark shook his head. "She and I have spoken once since you moved in."
Dee Dee was surprised to hear that. She assumed that he wouldn't have wasted time on her, but then she reminded herself that Mark is the type to try and put others before himself or to give them the benefit of the doubt. "What happened?"
"She explained why she cheated. It was for her career." Mark exhaled sharply. "This guy had major connections in the business and she met with him a few times without my knowing it. For a few weeks, it was business. She said she was afraid she had no other choice but to sleep with him because he held her chance of becoming a star in his hands." Mark shook his head again and chuckled. "I asked if he forced her to sleep with him, and she said he didn't. I told her then she obviously had another choice...not sleeping with him. I told her she knew exactly what she was doing and probably would have done the same thing with the next guy with any connections. I hung up on her after that."
Dee Dee saw both sorrow and strength in his eyes. "I'm sorry that she did this to you, but I'm glad you're doing as well as you are. I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but if not for what she did, you wouldn't have taken time for yourself in London. You wouldn't have been there to help me."
"That didn't come out wrong at all. I believe I was supposed to be there, no matter what it took. I think we're supposed to help each other."
"I suppose you're right. You've said many times that I'm a strong person. I think you're strong and you need to say so about yourself."
"Thanks for saying that. It's been rough, but my family's been very supportive, and now...I have you." Mark smiled and took Dee Dee's hand in his. For a moment, he wondered if he'd made her feel uncomfortable by what he'd said and by taking her hand, but she smiled and interlocked her fingers with his, easing his mind. She always made him feel more at peace and he found himself becoming more attracted to her with each passing day. He had to remind himself that they're both still trying to heal and are very vulnerable.
Dee Dee felt a peacefulness come over her as Mark took her hand. Her emotions had been trying to shift into various directions at once after seeing Rick, but now...she knew that she had someone to truly depend on and that feeling grew stronger every minute.
The next morning, Mark and his contemporary jazz and R&B band had been asked to perform during a three-day concert event in London. It would take place in two weeks and he thought it was a great opportunity. He didn't feel as happy about leaving Dee Dee alone. It would be up to her as to whether she'd stay or join him. He only had to gather the courage to bring up the topic.
"This is great news. I'm so happy for you." Dee Dee hugged Mark after he gave her the news about the concert.
"Thank you. I just don't want to leave you and I don't know how to ask if you'd like to come with me."
Dee Dee smiled and stifled a giggle. "I think you just did ask me...sort of."
Mark laughed at himself. "I guess I did, didn't I? So, what would you like to do?"
"As much as I dread it, I do need to get back and check on some things." She replied quietly. "I need to see about the house, decide what I'll do about their...about their clothes and things, and..."
"If you're not ready, don't rush yourself." Mark saw the tears building in her eyes and interrupted before she upset herself even more. "Just know that I'll be with you if you want me."
"Thank you." Dee Dee wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Anytime." He pulled her closer. Having her in his arms was becoming a more frequent event and he couldn't deny that he welcomed it. Each time, they held each other a little longer and a little tighter. This time was no exception.
(We barely know each other, but I feel like I've known her for years. I can't be falling for her. It's not right. It's too soon. Could she be falling for me? No, she can't. She's not ready.) Knowing that it was time for another distraction, he gently pulled himself away and took her by the hands and looked into her eyes. "I need to get some work done in the studio. Come hang out with me. Maybe you can help again." He smiled, remembering when she helped sort out a particular part in a song.
"I don't know about helping, but sure, I'll come."
Dee Dee made herself comfortable on the sofa, putting her feet up and taking the bottle of juice Mark handed her.
For the next hour, she enjoyed listening to him play his saxophone and the piano in order to try and get his song in order. When he started to sing while playing piano, she was pleasantly surprised at how great his voice sounded. She realized that the more she learned about him, the more she liked him. The closer she felt to him. The more she admired him.
He took a break relaxed on the sofa across the room from Dee Dee. He clicked the remote for the stereo system and "Cruisin'" by Smokey Robinson began to play. It was a slow, sweet and romantic R&B tune that was one of his many favorites. He began to sing the lyrics softly. He quickly realized that he wasn't singing alone. Though she casually flipped through some of his old promotional brochures, Dee Dee was indeed singing along. Whether she realized it or not, he wasn't sure and wasn't about to do anything to stop her.
He knew she hadn't done any singing since she was at her baby's hospital bedside. He'll always remember that moment. It was sweet, loving, beautiful and heartbreaking. It was also one of the most touching moments he'd ever encountered.
During a a couple of conversations since she'd moved in, she would mention how she would sing around the house, especially to AJ. At times, the discussion seemed to make her happy. At other times, sad.
"That was beautiful." Mark complimented her after the song had ended.
"Oh...um...thanks." She answered shyly. "I love that song and I guess I couldn't help myself."
"I love it, too. I'm glad you couldn't help yourself. You have an amazing voice."
"Thank you. It's been a while since I've really done any singing...you know."
"Yes, I know. I hope you'll start to feel more like singing as time goes on."
"I do, too. It actually felt pretty good." Dee Dee allowed herself to smile just a bit.
Later that night, with her son's bear in her arms, Dee Dee lay awake in bed, thinking of Mark. She noticed that every minute she was around him, she felt so much weight off her shoulders. She could talk to him about anything and he understood. He never judged or made her feel like she should be anything less than herself. There was a list of amazing things about him. His generosity, sense of humor, talent, being an absolute gentleman, his sincerity...the list grew each day. His physical features were nothing to be ignored, either. He was tall, handsome, very-well toned and when she saw him for the first time in swim trunks, she was able to see for herself why his abs and arms felt so taut against her body when they hugged.
She also realized that his hugs were something she'd started to crave, lately. Though they were lasting longer, she wished they lasted even longer than they did. There was just so much to like about this man. Just a short time ago, he was a complete stranger who was there to take care of her from the moment of the accident. When they first met, she felt safe and as if she'd known him for years. Now, it's as if she's known him for a lifetime. ("He can't be anything more than a friend. I just buried my husband a few weeks ago. Why do I feel this way about Mark? It's not right. Does he have any feelings for me? After what his girlfriend did, he's not ready for a relationship. What am I saying? Neither of us are ready. Are we?")
For a split second Rick Hunter crossed her mind and she felt her chest tighten in anger. She pulled the little teddy bear closer and closed her eyes and forced Rick out of her thoughts, focusing on Mark which helped her to fall into a peaceful sleep.