(Chapter Eighteen)
"Hi, sweetheart." Anna greeted her daughter with a hug. "Come on in." The phone calls were nice, but it was even nicer to see her in person. She'd worried so much about her for days after she moved in with Mark, but during their phone calls, Dee Dee tried to assure her that she was doing fine.
"I wanted to tell you that I'm going back to London for a few of weeks. Mark is going for a performance and I'll go along to try and take care of some of my own business."
"Alright. I can be ready at any time."
Dee Dee pursed her lips, knowing that this would not go over well. "I don't intend for this to come out the wrong way, but I don't need you to come right now. I'll probably spend the first week doing nothing but attending the performances and just hanging out with him. We'll have a bit of a vacation, I guess. You can come sometime later."
"Right." Anna raised her brow. "You'll have Mark."
Dee Dee sighed. (Here we go.) "Why did you say it like that?"
"Like what? I'm just making note that Mark will be there for you."
Dee Dee shook her head. "No. There's more to it than that. At first, you were so happy that he was going to help me through this, but now..." She heaved a sighed. "I know what it is. You want me to talk to Rick. You think he should be the one helping me even though you know I want nothing to do with him."
"Maybe he could be of help in some way." Anna stated.
"Mark and I ran into him at the amusement park and he was of no help to me at all." Dee Dee crossed her arms as her emotions shifted. "He pissed me off. Is that what you want for me? You want me to stay angry all the time, never having a moment to laugh again? Thanks to Mark, I have been laughing."
Only hearing what she wanted to, Anna expressed her thoughts."You were meant to see him. Don't you realize that? Maybe if you had been alone, without Mark, you could have had a nice talk and settled things. You could have given him a chance to explain."
Dee Dee's jaw dropped. "Oh, my God! You just don't get it, mom! You don't!" She grabbed her purse and stood, lowering her voice while catching her breath. "You can never see anything wrong in anything Rick does. You act as if he's your perfect son and I'm just the screwed up daughter who knows nothing of her own life. Unbelievable."
"Don't be like that."
"What...overly dramatic?"
I meant don't get so upset."
"Right. Sure. I'm living in hell, but I shouldn't be upset." With her eyes stinging, Dee Dee headed for the door. "I have to go."
Anna grabbed her hand and tried to turn her to face her. "I'm sorry. I really am. I do care a lot about Rick, but I love you." Dee Dee gazed at the floor as Anna continued. "You also know that I've always thought that you and he should have married, but Alex came into your life and you chose him. I was happy as long as you were happy. You're trying to cope, Mark may be there for you to talk to, to keep you from being alone, but he's not making you as happy as you could be with Rick who truly loves you."
Anna had created cause for eye contact.
"Rick truly loves me? How can you say that?" Dee Dee's eyes narrowed. "How do you know that Mark isn't making me happy? You have no idea of what goes on between us. No idea."
Without a verbal response, Anna's facial expression spoke well enough.
"What's wrong, mom? Wondering just how serious things are with Mark...if we've grown to be more than friends?"
It was now Anna who avoided eye contact as Dee Dee continued. "What if we have? You said you want me to be happy." Dee Dee felt so threatened by the fact of no one trusting her to make her own decisions, she couldn't help but stir things up. "You'd prefer it be Rick. What about what I prefer? Mark makes me very happy. When I'm with him, I actually laugh. I feel safe. I don't cry myself to sleep every night. I feel that I can express myself without anyone judging me or telling me how I should feel. He's good to me and good for me."
Anna cleared her throat and looked at her daughter. "You've known Rick for years. You two have been close since day one, so yes, I do think of him first when it comes to having a man that will make sure you're happy. I think Mark is a wonderful man. I really do, and I'm so grateful to him. If you had met him before you met Alex, you may have married him. He may have made an excellent son-in-law, too. I don't know much about him, but I can honestly say that I've grown very fond of him because he's such a good man."
"He's an amazing man." Dee Dee added.
"Yes, but I still don't really know him like I know Rick and like I knew Alex. Are you in love with him?"
"Why?"
"It's just so soon, and..."
"Once again you're not trusting me...not trusting my judgment. I haven't said one way or another that I'm in love with him, but if I am, it's my business."
Anna shook her head and sighed. "Fine. I'll drop it."
"No you won't. You'll bring it up again at some point." Dee Dee exhaled sharply. "I didn't come here to argue. I just wanted to let you know about London."
"Alright. Just let me know when you need me."
Dee Dee nodded. "Yeah...okay."
Anna cautiously pulled her into her arms. She remembered how they'd had their ups and downs over the years and how they'd gotten so much closer in recent years, especially when Dee Dee was pregnant, and even more after AJ was born.
She also had to remind herself that whatever Dee Dee may say, is quite possibly out of anger, fear and suffering.
Dee Dee slowly put her arms around her mother. "I have to go. I'll be in touch before we leave and once we get there."
"Okay." Anna sighed. "I love you."
Dee Dee turned toward the door, hesitating and knowing she'd regret not telling her mother she loved her as they both knew that no particular amount of time on earth is promised to anyone. "I love you, too."