Huge thanks to Jenjoremy for beta'ing, Gredelina1 for helping me write it, and to you all for supporting the story. Special thanks for the reassuring reviews for the last chapter. You guys made me feel much better about the story.
Chapter Thirteen
Sam woke feeling well rested the next day. His sleep had been dreamless thanks to Cas. He'd almost forgotten what a decent night's sleep felt like. Even before the wall came down, even before Dean went to Hell, probably since Jess, Sam's dreams had been his nemesis. There were always horrors waiting for him to fragment his fragile sleep. But today he'd woken feeling good, and that made a difference in his expectations for the day.
He showered and dressed quietly, not wanting to wake Dean, and then sat on the bed for another hour flipping through his father's journal merely for something to do until Dean woke. But Dean slept on. Sam began to wonder whether Cas had knocked him out, too. He didn't think Dean would allow him to willingly, but he had been pushing Cas's buttons the night before, so maybe Cas had just gotten sick of his shit and knocked him out to shut him up.
His phone buzzed with an incoming text, and he picked it up and pulled up the message automatically. His heart stuttered as he read it. It was four simple words — We need to talk! — but it was the sender that had his breath quickening. Ruby. He hadn't thought of her since he was in the panic room, preparing for withdrawal and cursing her name for everything she had done to him. He should have been thinking of her though, he realized, because she was still out there somewhere, running amok. He sighed out a breath. He needed to deal with her and he needed to do so quickly.
He didn't reply to the message. He just locked the screen and stowed it back in his pocket before throwing a pillow across to the second bed. It bounced off Dean's head and he jerked awake, bolting upright and aiming his gun at the bathroom door. "Sam!"
"Right here," Sam said calmly, "I'm fine, and the bathroom's not going to attack you, so holster."
Dean looked around, from Sam to the extra pillow on his bed to the gun in his hand. "Dammit, Sam, I could have put a bullet in you. What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking it's time for you to wake your ass up," Sam said, getting to his feet and reaching for his boots where they were placed neatly at the end of the bed. "We should get back to Bobby's. I'm sure you need to eat, and there's something we need to talk about."
"Is this more back from the—"
Sam cut a hand across his throat in a gesture to make Dean shut up. Cas wasn't there, so they couldn't talk about anything to do with Sam's return trip. "Later, Dean."
Dean scowled but nodded and stumbled into the bathroom. Ten minutes later he was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and running a hand through his damp hair. "Back to Bobby's then? There's nowhere else you think we should go? You haven't, ummm, heard about any other hunts?"
Sam shook his head. "Bobby's will be good for now."
They were halfway back to Sioux Falls and Dean was in the middle of belting out the chorus to Ramble on while Sam laughed when a dry voice spoke over the music from the back seat. "Hello, Sam."
Sam turned in his seat, his smile still on his lips as he greeted Cas. "Hey."
"Oh, no," Dean groaned. "Hell, no. It's bad enough that you just appear whenever you like when we're stationary, but you're not doing it when we're driving. You could've made me crash!"
"You didn't," Cas pointed out. "And I would have saved you if you had."
"And who would have saved my baby?"
Cas merely looked at Dean, no trace of emotion, and Sam laughed again. "We're okay, Dean, and the car is fine. Cas, next time, wait till we're at a stop light or something, okay?"
Cas nodded. "If you would prefer."
"Yes, that is what we would prefer," Dean said, attempting to mimic Cas's articulation.
Sam smiled and stared out of the windshield. He knew that since Cas was now there, it was time to tell Dean about Ruby's text and the full story of her involvement in Lilith's plans, but he hated to ruin the moment by dragging those things up again. It wasn't like Dean could have forgotten Sam's crimes or the consequences, but they were having a good morning, and Sam didn't want to drag drama in to it. He had to though. Secrets were a big part of what got him into the mess the last time. He had to be honest now.
"Dean, pull over," he said quietly.
Dean's eyes snapped to him for a moment before returning to the road. "What's wrong?"
"There's something I need to tell you, and I don't want to risk the paintjob."
There was a gas station a little ahead, and Dean directed them there and pulled over in the parking lot. As soon as the engine was off, he turned fully in his seat, crossing a leg under him, to look at Sam.
"So, talk." There was a certain level of tension in his voice. Sam thought there should be given the revelations Dean had heard lately.
"I got a text," Sam said, "from Ruby."
Cas leaned over the back of the bench seat to see Sam better. "What did she say?"
"Just that we needed to talk. I haven't replied."
Dean looked a little bemused. "Okay, a text from demon bitch 2.0 isn't the best news I heard all day, but what's got you two looking like that?"
"Ruby was the one who encouraged Sam to drink blood," Cas started the tale, but Dean interrupted.
"Yeah, I remember that from the show and tell. I'll kill her for it, too, but I'm getting the feeling that there's more to this than I know about, so what gives?"
Sam wanted to duck his head, to avoid Dean's gaze, but he forced himself to meet Dean's eye as he said, "It wasn't about helping me pull demons. She was a part of it all. She got me on the blood for a reason. Ruby is working for Lilith."
Dean let loose a stream of expletives that were both visual and imaginative. Sam waited in silence for him to get it out of his system and then he spoke again.
"Lilith is the only one who knows. All the other demons think Ruby's on our side, but she's not. The plan's always been for me to get strong enough on the blood to kill demons so I can kill Lilith and break the last seal. Dean – Lilith is the final seal."
Dean shook his head. "Wait. What? Lilith knows she's going to die?"
"Yeah. I guess she's enough of a loyalist that she doesn't mind." Sam shrugged. "Last time she seemed to have second thoughts at the last minute, though. She came to me with a deal—she'd step down from the seals in exchange for our lives. We didn't make the deal, and I guess she would have weaseled out of it anyway, but I think for a minute she changed her mind. Whatever. The point is that her sidekick is Ruby, and she's trying to get in touch again."
"What will you do?" Cas asked.
Sam had considered this many times over since his return to this time and subsequent confession to Dean and Bobby. "What I should have done last time before any of the blood stuff started: kill her."
Cas nodded, satisfied. "I would like to see that."
Dean's mind was working on a different track though. "Are you telling me she's still alive in your time?"
"No, she's been dead years," Sam said. "I wasn't the one to kill her though."
"Who was?"
Sam grinned. "You. I'd have taken the shot, but I was busy holding her still for you."
"Works for me," Dean said easily.
"How are you going to do this?" Cas asked.
"I figure I answer her message when we're back in Sioux Falls and meet her. There's a place we've met before. When she gets there, I pull the blade and you hold her in place, Cas."
"Hey! Why does he get to do the holding?" Dean asked. "I want in."
"If she sees you, she won't come, Dean. If she even thinks you've come along, she'll stay clear. She has to think I'm alone. Cas is the only one who can hide himself."
Cas glanced at Dean, a hint of satisfaction in his eyes. Sam figured with all the ball busting Dean had been doing lately, it felt good for Cas to get his own way.
"I am happy to help," Cas said serenely, settling back in his seat.
Sam pulled out his phone and wrote a quick reply to Ruby: Heading to SF. Let me know when you're in town.
There was no more singing on the way back to Bobby's after that. Dean drove with his hands tight around the steering wheel and his eyes casting malevolent glares at Cas through the rearview mirror. Sam tried to break the silence with conversation, but Dean merely grunted responses and Cas had tuned into angel radio once again.
When Bobby's yard came into view, Sam breathed a sigh of relief. At least he would have someone else to talk to now, and Bobby didn't seem to have as much of a problem with Cas as Dean did. Maybe there would actually be a civilized conversation.
"Huh," Dean said as he pulled up in front of the house. "Bobby's got company."
Sam had noticed, too. There was a banged up Ford parked beside the Chevelle. Sam didn't recognize it, but he only knew a handful of the people that Bobby knew.
"Maybe you should flap off," Dean said to Cas.
Sam cast him an apologetic look. "Or just go invisible again," he suggested. "I've no idea who's in there, but it's probably best if they don't know about you."
Cas nodded and disappeared.
"Finally," Dean breathed as he climbed the steps to the porch and opened the door.
Sam came in close behind him, and it was his foot that Dean stepped on as he dodged back from the blow that came at his head from Ellen as she caught sight of him.
"What the hell, Ellen?" Dean gasped.
"I'll give you what the hell," she cried. "I have to hear from Rufus that you're still alive! Rufus! What, did Hell break your dialing finger?"
Dean was protesting and dodging her slapping hands, but Sam was frozen in place.
Ellen.
She was alive!
It was almost painful to hear her gravelly voice still shouting at Dean and to know it was really her. Ellen was alive because she hadn't yet sat down beside her dying daughter in a store surrounded by homemade bombs.
He stepped back through the still open door and turned his back on the scene, wiping at the tears that were welling in his eyes. It was stupid, silly to react like this, but he couldn't help it. They had lost a lot in the years that passed between this time and his own, but none of those losses had hurt him the way Ellen and Jo's had, because he knew their deaths were his fault. Their lives had ended because of his actions. They were only in Carthage to go after the Devil, and that was only necessary because of what Sam had done.
Another tear slipped down his cheek.
Things behind him calmed, and he heard his name mentioned, so he quickly blinked the last of the tears from his eyes then wiped them away with his sleeve. He sniffed and cleared his throat and then turned with a winning smile on his face to greet Ellen.
"Hey," he said brightly.
"Don't hey me," she said sharply. "You lose my number, too? When your brother comes back from the dead, you make a couple calls."
Sam nodded and felt the cool air against the moisture on his face that he hadn't completely cleared. "Sorry, Ellen. Things just got so crazy that…" He shrugged.
She looked into his eyes and frowned slightly "You okay?" she asked, voice softer now. "You look a little…"
"I'm fine," Sam said quickly. "Just cringing still from Dean's drive time classics." He laughed softly.
She stared at him a moment longer and then turned to say something to Bobby. Sam moved into the room and set to work refilling the coffee machine and gathering mugs from the cabinet. He stared out of the window and kept his tears back through sheer force of will alone as he listened to Ellen's exclamations as Dean and Bobby filled her in on the angels and seals. It was a dual pleasure and pain to be around her. He absorbed her words, her wonderfully alive voice, and at the same time wished Dean from his time could share the moment.
When he could delay no longer, he poured the coffees and moved around the room, handing them to Dean, Bobby and Ellen who were positioned on various pieces of furniture, chatting happily.
He went back to the counter to collect his own mug just in time to hear Ellen say, "And Jo sends her love."
New tears pooled at that. Jo, young, beautiful, brave Jo was alive still. Out in the world somewhere she was living her life. He took a sip of coffee and almost choked on it.
A hand slapped down on his shoulder and Dean's voice echoed in his ears. "Sorry Bobby doesn't stock the caramel syrup you like, Sammy. You'll have to make do with your housewife coffee again." Sam forced a laugh and began to turn but Dean's hand tightened on his shoulder, holding him in place. "Wipe your face," he murmured.
Sam did as he was bidden, composed himself and turned with a smile pasted on his face. "So, what have you been up to, Ellen?" he asked.
It transpired that Ellen was running a bar for a friend. Like The Roadhouse, it was in Nebraska, and she was enjoying the work without the financial strain. Jo was hunting as a part of a crew of three now, working with one other woman, Jen, and her partner Eric. It was clear from Ellen's tone that she wasn't happy with the decision her daughter had made to hunt, though there was grudging pride in her as she told a story about Jo and her crew taking on a nest of vampires.
Sam felt overwhelmed as he listened to her stories, and he knew he wasn't doing a good job of hiding that as he could feel Dean's eyes on him. He sat as quietly as possible, letting Dean and Bobby speak for fear of letting something slip that Ellen shouldn't know. When the story came around to them and their latest hunts, Dean launched into an explanation of how they'd spied on the magician and worked out what he was doing and how they'd turned the trick on him.
"What did you do with the cards?" Bobby asked.
"They're in the trunk," Dean said easily. "We figured we'd have to get a curse box for them."
"They're in the trunk!" Bobby repeated, his color rising. "Damn, boys, you trying to put me in an early grave?" When Sam and Dean looked blank, he blustered on. "You don't leave something as powerful as that just lying around in the trunk of your car! Go get them; I'm sure I've got a box around here somewhere."
Glad for the excuse to get outside for a moment, Sam stood quickly and made for the door. He got outside and breathed a sigh of relief before realized he didn't bring the keys out with him. It didn't matter though, as Dean came out at that moment, tossing them from one hand to the other. He opened the trunk and Sam moved to grab the cards—Castiel must have stashed them there for him when he heard their coversation—but Dean caught his wrist.
Sam looked up. "What?"
"Ellen." With one word Dean told Sam that he knew exactly what must have happened to make him so leaky around the eyes.
"Jo, too," Sam said quietly.
Dean cursed. "What happened?"
Sam shook his head. "The apocalypse."
"I figured that much out myself. What happened?"
Sam locked eyes with Dean, trying to communicate more than his words would say. "You don't want to know, Dean. You don't need those nightmares."
Dean's eyes narrowed and then he turned away. "This is why you're here, isn't it? For Ellen and Jo."
"For them," Sam said. "For Rufus, too. For you and me, Bobby and Cas. For every single life we lost because of what I did. That's why I'm so grateful to Cas. On any given day in our time it's hard to breathe right because I feel like the weight of all that death, all that guilt is crushing me. He's given me the most amazing opportunity to fix things for the world and myself."
"Yeah, I get the message," Dean grumbled. "Angel dick isn't such a dick after all."
"He's really not in my time," Sam said. "You'll see that when you get there." His phone vibrated in his pocket again and he pulled it out. "And that's my cue to leave."
"Ruby?"
"Yeah." Sam took the demon killing knife from where it was sitting among the other weapons and stowed it in his pocket before handing the cards to Dean. "Tell them I've made a run into town for beer or something."
"You going to be okay doing this on your own?"
"I won't be alone. Cas is coming."
Dean grumbled and then clapped a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Kill her good, Sammy. Make it hurt."
"You know it." Sam slammed the trunk closed and pulled the keys from the lock. He walked around to the driver's side door and paused. "I'll be back soon, Dean."
"I know," Dean said, not entirely concealing the worry in his expression. "Just… take care of yourself okay?"
"I will."
Sam climbed in behind the wheel and started the engine. As he backed out, he heard a fluttering sound. He glanced to the side and saw Cas sitting in what was usually his seat. "Are you ready, Sam?" he asked.
"More than ready," Sam said through his teeth, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. "It's time for that bitch to die."
Sam's suffering seemed to Cas to be a constant in their journey into the past. Just as he solved one problem that was dragging him down, another came to take its place. If he'd known in advance that Ellen was going to be at Bobby's, Cas would have expected Sam to react happily to seeing her, but he hadn't. He had wept. Cas understood there was more than one reason for tears, but he didn't think Sam had been crying from joy. He would have liked to question Sam about it, but there were more pressing things for them to be doing, such as killing the betrayer demon.
They rode in silence across town until they came to an area of abandoned warehouses. Sam glanced at Cas as he parked and then threw open the car door and climbed out. They didn't speak, as Ruby was likely close enough now to hear them, but they communicated without words. Sam nodded slightly to Cas and in return Cas clasped a hand on his shoulder, a show of solidarity in what they were doing. Sam smiled slightly and then his expression became one of grim determination as Cas shielded himself from sight.
Cas went ahead and jerked to a halt at what he saw inside the warehouse. Ruby was there, leaning against a wall and tapping her foot. In the center of the room was a demon, gagged and bound to a chair. Beside him was a plastic bucket with a long blade lying across the rim. Cas understood Ruby's intentions immediately. Her plan was to return Sam to the demon blood. The demon would be used to give Sam the ample amount to return him to his former strength.
As the door creaked open and Sam stepped inside, Ruby's face lit up with a smile and she straightened away from the wall.
"Sam," she said in a consoling voice. "I am so sorry."
Sam walked into the room, his expression a blank mask. "Ruby."
"What happened?" she asked. "I heard Dean tied you up in the panic room. I never would have left you alone if I'd known what he would do to you. I'd have kept you safe."
Sam nodded curtly, eyeing the demon with hunger in his eyes. Cas wasn't sure it was false. Sam was still only a short time out of his withdrawal. The need for the blood could still be strong, or it could be an act to appease Ruby.
"I heard about Alastair, too," she said. "That must have been a hell of a trip."
"It was," Sam said, eyes still fixed on the bound demon. "Never felt anything like it."
Ruby run a hand over Sam's cheek, her fingers lingering on his jaw. "All that power, huh? I didn't know you had it in you."
"Neither did I. It wasn't until I was facing him that I realized I could do it, and from there it was easy."
Ruby beamed at him. "That's good. You're so much stronger now. You'll be able to take care of Lilith, no problem."
Sam smiled grimly. "We just need to find her."
"We will," Ruby said. "I'm doing all I can to track her down. But first, you must be thirsty." She walked over to the bound demon and picked up the knife from the bucket. You ready for this?"
Sam nodded and stepped forward. Cas had a moment of real fear that Sam was going to slip, that he would drink and all their hard work and trial would have been in vain, but then he pulled the knife from his pocket.
"What's up?" Ruby asked, worry in her tone. "You can't use that, Sam. You'll kill it before we can get the blood."
Sam tapped the blade against his palm. "I know. I can't kill him, but I can kill you."
Ruby's eyes widened and she took a step back. "You don't want to do that. I don't know what Dean's been saying to you, but you don't want this. You need me."
"Cas!" Sam shouted, and Cas sprang into action. Revealing himself to Sam's sight he grabbed Ruby's arms and pinned them behind her back. She struggled, but she was no match for his strength.
"Sam!"
"I know what you are, Ruby," Sam said. "I know who you work for and I know your plans. I want you to know, before you die, that it'll never work. Lilith won't be killed and Lucifer won't rise." He grinned. "Just wanted to make sure you knew."
He stepped forward onto the ball of his foot and jabbed out with the knife. It sank through Ruby's chest, into her heart. She let out a strangled cry as the blade pierced her and then fell silent, sagging in Cas's grip. He released her and she flopped to the floor, dead.
Sam looked down at her with a look of triumph in his eyes. "I did it," he breathed.
"You did," Cas said. "How does it feel?"
"Good. I feel free. Like, even without the blood, I was still under her influence. That's over now."
Cas smiled at him.
Sam turned to the demon in the chair and sighed. "He'll have to die, too, won't he?"
"Yes. We cannot risk him going to Lilith and telling her what you knew."
The demon's eyes rolled wildly and he shouted through the gag, but his words were indiscernible. Sam strode over to him and tightened his grip around the hilt of the knife. He hesitated for a moment, and Cas was about to ask him what was wrong, but then Sam's hand snapped out and plunged the knife into the demon's throat. Light crackled around the wound and the demon gurgled and bucked for a moment before becoming still.
Sam stared at him for a moment, and this time his expression was clear to read; he regretted it.
"You had to do it," Cas said.
"I know. I couldn't let him live, but he wasn't just a demon, Cas. That was a man, too." He sighed. "It's like Ellen and Jo. They're alive now because I haven't messed up yet, but this man is dead because I did. He could have been someone's father or brother. He could have been someone's Dean, and now he's dead. It just… I always knew people would have to die in this time, too, but it's just now I'm seeing the face of it."
"What do you mean?"
Sam stared him in the eye. "The apocalypse was bad, worse than bad, and I came back here to stop it, but it's more now. It's like it has a face, Ellen and Jo's. The face of the apocalypse is my family, and I just killed someone else's."
Cas found he had no response to that. It was true. Sam had just ended a life of someone that was surely loved, but it was for the greater good. The face of the family, Ellen and Jo and everyone else Sam loved, would be saved in part because of this person's death.
Sam made for the door again. "I've got to get back to Dean. You good to clear this up?"
"Of course," Cas said. "I will take care of it all, including you, Sam."
Sam turned and smiled. "I know. Thanks, Cas."
So… Ellen made an appearance and Ruby's a goner. Good times. I really wanted Sam to be the one to do it in this story, as I thought he'd earned his revenge. Ellen was a treat to write. She's such a rich character, and I miss her so much. One of the best things about writing for me is the fact you can bring out beloved characters and make them alive again. Hope it made good reading.
Until next time…
Clowns or Midgets xxx