Hi There! Firstly I would just like to apologise for the late update…things have been hectic lately, but I promise the next chapter won't take quite so long.
Secondly, I would like to thank you all for reading it, and all of the favourites, and follows, and especially the reviews! Every single one of them makes my day! :D
Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Note: Harry Potter is STILL Not mine!
To say that Sirius and Remus ran up the stairs was an understatement. They had ran before, many times before, but very few times had they bolted so fast that you would think their life depended on it.
However it did not go fast for either of the men, with each step that they took it was as though time had slowed down. With each scream that was torn from Harry, they were ripped into two.
Sirius' heart was beating so fast that he could almost hear it, there could be anything in that bedroom with Harry! Death Eaters! Voldemort! Some strange dark creature that had habited the house! Anything!
Of course if he was being rational, he would have realised that there couldn't possibly be any death eaters or Voldemort in the room after all the house could only be found by the Order and the Secret Keeper!
Remus on the other hand already knew exactly what that scream meant, he had heard screams like it so many times before, countless times during the summer he had heard that very noise coming from Sirius' mouth as he dreamt of the past fourteen years of his life – James, Lily, Harry, Dementor's, the list was endless. He himself had even woke up screaming a number of times. Everybody had their demons… Harry more so than others.
Eventually after what felt like an eternity, they reached Harry's bedroom door. Sirius was the first to run in the room, terrified of what he would find, but he quickly stopped short at the sight of Harry tangled in his sheets, tossing and turning.
"Harry!" Sirius gasped staring in horror as Remus hurried past him towards the figure on the bed.
He softly but firmly grabbed his arms and legs, attempting to pin Harry down.
"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed pulling Sirius out of his thoughts "Help me! He could injure himself!"
Understanding suddenly dawned on Sirius as he ran towards his best friend and Godson, Harry had only just been healed the day before, and even then he hadn't been healed fully. His legs were still not able to work properly, there was no telling what other damage he could do when his body was still so fragile.
"Harry! Harry, wake up!" Sirius shouted over Harry's screams and whimpers, one hand cupping his face, the other softly stroking his hair as Remus held Harry down with his surprising strength.
"Harry, please, please, wake up!" Sirius pleaded, his heart breaking as he looked into the pain filled face of his fifteen year old Godson.
"Please!" Harry whimpered from inside the hell that he was experiencing "Please! Please don't!" He pleaded before he trailed off into an ear-piercing scream.
Sirius and Remus both shared a look of torment, their faces creased with agony, Sirius' eyes filled with tears, Remus' face paler than usual.
Harry P.O.V.
He was back at the Dursley's, Uncle Vernon was standing in front of him, his big beefy face red with anger as he stared down at the teenager.
"You know you deserve this!" Vernon snarled, spit flying into Harry's face. "I told you nobody loved you but you never listen do you, freak! You just can't face it that everybody hates you!"
"No…" Harry trailed off in a whimper. That's not true!
"Yes!" Vernon snapped as he aimed another kick at Harry's stomach "They left you! Your Godfather and that man! They gave you back to me `we don't want him! ` They said `teach him a lesson`"
"No!" Harry whimpered again… Sirius and Remus wouldn't do that to him. They had said that they wanted him. They did!
"Yes! You know they did! Who would ever love a…. pathetic…disgusting…freak!" His uncle spat, emphasising each word with yet another kick to his stomach.
"No!" Harry screamed as Vernon kicked him, and hit him, and yelled at him….freak…freak…freak! Over and over again!
"NO!" Harry screamed as he bolted up in his bed, panting as he did so trying to catch his breath. He wasn't at Privet Drive. He was at Sirius and Remus' house. They had come to get him. His Uncle wasn't here…for now. He reminded himself over and over, completely unaware of his Godfather calling his name, begging him to look at him, telling him that it was okay.
"He's not here." Harry whispered to himself, trying to convince himself. "He's not here. He's not here."
He repeated over and over again, his eyes clenched shut, his arms hugging his waist…he wouldn't open his eyes. He couldn't. Not until he knew that the big beefy, angry face of his Uncle wouldn't be waiting for him, ready to administer another round of torture.
"Harry!" A voice was calling his name. It had to be his Uncle…but then, he would never have called him Harry it was always 'Freak!' or 'Boy!'…and the voice was soft, almost caring….his Uncle never cared.
A hand grabbed his own as Harry flinched, crawling even further into himself. This was it. He had thought it time and time before, but this was really it. It was all over.
"Harry." The voice repeated, even softer than it had before. "It's okay, it was just a dream." The voice soothed. A hand gently grabbed his own as Harry struggled to pull it back, aware of pain striking in his body as he did so, but the hand refused to let go.
"You're not at your Uncle's anymore, you're right here. You're home." The slightly rough voice continued to sooth. "Just open your eyes, and everything will be okay." Harry sat frozen, No! He shook his head. He wouldn't open them…opening them would mean having to face reality.
"Remus, why can't he open his eyes?" The voice that had been so soft mere seconds ago was suddenly shaky and hysterical.
"Sirius, let me." A second voice quietly commanded. "Harry…Harry, it's me, Remus." The voice quietly soothed, a chilling note of desperation attached to his voice. "I know you're scared. I know you don't want to do this, but you have to open your eyes. And if you do you'll see that everything is alright…I promise it is okay. You're Uncle's gone. It's just me, Sirius, and you."
Harry listened to the voice that was almost pleading with him. A voice in his head was telling him to listen to it. He knew that voice, he knew both of them deep, deep down.
Harry took a deep breath, subconsciously squeezing the hand that was still holding his. He opened his eyes.
The sight that greeted him was far from the sight that he had expected to see. His Uncle should be here, he should be in a crowded, messy room. Yet here he was lying in a bed that was just a little bit too big for him, in a room that was at least double the size of his tiny bedroom at Privet Drive.
There were two men as well. Both of them looking as though they had just gone through a difficult and terrifying ordeal.
Sirius and Remus. A voice said in his head as he started to remember all that had happened.
This is going to take some getting used to.
He had spent so long convincing himself that everything was far from okay, that he would never get away from the Dursley's…getting out of the habit would certainly take time.
"Are you okay?" A hesitant Sirius asked as he took in the image of Harry sitting frozen to the spot, his body shaking ever so slightly from the trauma of the nightmare. "Of course you're not okay." Sirius muttered to himself.
He made a move towards Harry, silently thanking Remus as he stepped away from the bed leaving room for Sirius to place himself next to his Godson.
"Sorry." Harry whispered as he managed to find his voice. It was still hoarse from screaming.
"No." Sirius shook his head determinedly as he took Harry's hand again. "Don't be. It's that damn family of yours who should be sorry." His grip tightened slightly in frustration, though it quickly weakened as Harry flinched.
"I'll try to be quiet next time." Harry promised as he looked between his Godfather and Ex-professor. "I promise. It won't happen again. Please don't send me back."
"It's okay to have nightmares." Sirius soothed him. "Everybody has them. Everybody has their demons."
Harry laughed ironically at that statement. Yeah…sure they do. He thought grimly to himself. Except they don't scream and cry like a baby!
"Even I have nightmares. Your big, old, tough Godfather." Sirius told him sensing that he still didn't believe a word of what he said. "I have nightmares about Azkaban, and Dementor's….We all do. But they are just dreams. They can only hurt you if you let them. Do you understand?"
Harry remained quiet, the only noise coming from him was the sharp intakes of his breath. He wanted to believe Sirius, but he knew that he was only saying things to calm him. He didn't really mean them…not one word. How could he? Harry was a freak who could not even fight off a muggle…a weak, pathetic, stupid little boy.
"What happened, Harry?" Remus spoke for the first time. His voice was hesitant as though he could not quite decide whether or not to ask about the fragile subject. "What did you dream about?"
Harry started stubbornly at his blanket. All he wanted to do was curl up into a ball. If he could move his legs then he would have…forget curling up, he would have ran miles away. He would have ran and ran until they could never find him.
Tell them! A voice screamed inside his head.
But just as quick as that voice entered his mind, another joined it. A harsher voice.
Don't tell them! They don't want you! They don't want your pathetic little problems!
No! That's not true! They are your only family! They love you…you know they do!
Whoever could love a freak like you?
"Shut up." Harry quietly snapped as the looks of concern which he was receiving grew even wider. Harry didn't care. He knew that they were fake looks.
"Who are you talking to?" Sirius quietly asked him, as he glanced at Remus whose eyes had narrowed with worry.
"Nobody. Sorry." Harry whispered as he turned away from them and closed his eyes again. He couldn't face them, not now. Not when he couldn't even think straight himself.
He could feel the hand which he knew to be Sirius' gently stroking his hair, he flinched slightly, but he was too tired to protest. He just wanted to sleep. He just wanted to forget everything.
He didn't even hear Remus leave the room as he sunk back into blissful unconsciousness.
Remus Lupin sat at the wooden table in the Kitchen of Grimmauld Place, his head in his hands. It was starting to get harder and harder to hold himself together. Everything was happening so quickly….too quickly. None of this should have ever happened. His mind was finding it almost impossible to digest all the information. In the space of a day he had learned that Harry had been abused his whole life by his own family, that he may never walk again, and on top of that Dumbledore – the man he had always looked up to him – had threatened both himself and Sirius. All because they had seen fit to not leave Harry to face a painful, slow, and long death at the hands of his relatives.
Everything that he had known had taken an entire U bend. Everything that he knew had been proven to be wrong.
Harry was not a happy, safe teenage boy, and Dumbledore was not an angelic, caring good man.
Dumbledore was the main problem. He knew where Grimmauld Place was. He was the Secret Keeper. He was right. He could tell the Ministry at any given minute exactly where they could find Harry, where they could find Sirius and himself. They would all end up dead for sure.
Dumbledore had been the simple choice for Secret Keeper, after all he had set up the Order of the Phoenix, he was the man who everybody had agreed upon, so sure that they could trust him. How wrong they had been.
Of course there were ways to change Secret Keepers in the most desperate of circumstances without the Keeper themselves being involved. Remus had heard about rare cases of it over the years, but he was completely unaware of exactly how they would go about. Maybe there would be books in the library…fortunately the Black family house had an extensive Library full of dark books…books which could in this case prove to be extremely useful.
But who would they choose? So many thoughts were entering Remus' mind, so many questions, most of which he didn't have the answer to, all of which he could never imagined having to consider.
Who would they choose to be their Secret Keeper? It had to be somebody that they knew they could trust. But then again, they thought that they could trust Dumbledore. They needed somebody who wouldn't stray, who wouldn't choose their loyalty to Dumbledore over their loyalty to the three of them.
Harry was involved. Harry was the person at stake. A voice in his head reminded him. Harry and Sirius…but mostly Harry.
They could not make the same mistake as they had fourteen years ago in trusting the wrong person. If they put their lives in the hands of the wrong person, he could lose them all over again. His life would be pointless. He couldn't go back to living without Sirius and Harry…not now that he had finally got them back.
Last time James and Lily had died. This time it could be Harry and Sirius. History would not repeat itself. It couldn't!
There you go! I hope you enjoyed this chapter…let me know. I've had writer's block for a while so hopefully my writing isn't too bad :p
Feel free to favourite, follow, review… And if you have any ideas on who should be Secret Keeper feel free to drop me a note and let me know!
Until Next Time! :D