A.N. : I do not own the song; it belongs to two of the greatest internetainers, Rhett and Link.
*z*z*z*z*
'Seal my fate tonight,
I hate to have to cut the fun short,
But the joke's wearing thin
Let the audience in,
Let my opera beGIN!'
Haru grinned and looked up, glad she had taken her penpal's suggestion of getting a certain song as her email tone*. Jumping off her bed, she went to her computer, opening the email labeled "Wouldst Thou Like To See Something INCREDIBLY Stupid? ; )"
Clicking on the email, she eagerly read the letter enclosed.
"Hey Haru! How 'ya doin' beautiful?"
'... O... Kay? What?' Haru, now more than a little befuddled and disturbed, read on.
"Okay, I know that was weird. I apologize; I've been hanging out with my best friend (well- other best friend well- best friend I physically interact with every day.) Bethany. She's really silly. Every day when she sees me she'll get all excited and start squealing "Gorgeous! Gorgeous! Hay! (Yes, she says 'hay' instead of 'hey'; I told you, she's silly. Don't judge.)"
Speaking of Bethany, back to the original topic; we decided to do something incredibly stupid.
We have done a cover of a song written by Youtubers.
Wanna see? It's called The Photoshop Song by Rhett and Link. I have included the video in this email, so knock yourself out.
Heck, you could show this to your friends- what were their names?- ah, Tutu, Sloota, and Karen ; ). I kid, I kid.
But seriously, go ahead and show it to them.
I dare you. : )"
With the warning ringing in her mind, Haru hesitantly clicked on the video link below the words, 'Photoshop Song, as done by two crazy females'
*z*z*z*z*
A dark blue wall appeared, with two wooden stools in front of it.
Two girls walked to the stools and sat down, one holding a guitar, the other a music stand and a piano keyboard.
The one with the guitar had sherry red hair, immediately identifying herself as Mandy, if the pictures she had sent were accurate. Her hazel blue-greenish eyes had a sparkle of mischief, further unsettling Haru.
The other girl Haru had never seen before, Mandy's friends never coming into conversation other than what crazy thing they did that day.
She had thick black curly hair, with eyes so brown they were almost black. She was normal height, with a normal figure, and a surprising amount of tattoos, all of Edgar Allan Poe. She was wringing her hands and biting her lip, finally speaking in a voice that was both high and low at the same time, strange yet beautiful.
"Can I just say before we start, that these tattoos are temporary, in case your friend is starting to question your sanity and the people you hang out with?"
Mandy set the stand up to the proper length, nonchalantly replying with, "Oh don't worry, she knows I have no sanity, and I doubt she would question the crowd I hang out with, considering all your tattoos are of a distinguished author. Besides," she added, finished messing with the stand and now getting comfortable on her stool with the guitar. "It's not like she has any right to judge me and my friends. She's got two friends who fight endlessly, and a third who just watches the spectacle with a cuppa."
"Cuppa?"
"British term for cup of tea. Man, I REALLY need to watch more BBC around you. You shall become a Whovian or Sherlockian yet!"
"Yes!" Said the one who was apparently Bethany, jumping up and down.
" I want to understand what you're talking about! I WANT to be a part of this club!"
"Wonderful! Now back to business," Mandy said, arranging the sheet music on the stand. "Which part do you want?"
"Um, I'll take Rhett's," Bethany said, scooting her stool closer to the stand, eagerly flexing her fingers over the keys.
"I'll take Link's. Ready?"
"Ready."
" Ok. Here we go. One, two. One, two, three." She started strumming, a cheerful melody.
After sixteen seconds of piano and guitar, Bethany started the song.
"You pull out
your photos of
your wedding in the spring, " a wicked grin spread across Mandy's face, remind Haru of a Cheshire cat. Bethany continued, obviously fighting giggles.
"And you're confronted by
your double chin
And your bald spot glistening.
You could get
a membership
at the fitness-hut down the road
Or you could pick your mouse up
and slim yourself down,
And even give yourself a 'fro," Bethany stopped, and Mandy picked up where she left off.
"Your high school reunion
is coming next Friday,
And you know everyone
will ask to see some,
Pictures of the babies that you've made.
But the problem is
your kid's head is big,
I mean," Mandy said, her voice becoming serious, despite the smirk on her face.
"We're talking alien size here.
But just cut and paste a hat
or at least a do-rag,
And it won't seem so severe."
Bethany joined, in, covering the lower part of the chorus.
"Photoshop your memories.
A picture is worth a thousand words,
So a few white lies shouldn't hurt."
They started the second verse, alternating between themselves this time.
(A.N.: Mandy- plain. Bethany- italicised [I've realised this website bolds everything italicised. Thus, Mandy's will be plain])
"Your birthday,
This past Monday,
Was a fun day
Except for one thing,
Your mother in law
Who makes your skin crawl"
They joined together for the next line, both grinning like fools.
"Stuck her face in every frame."
They went back to their alternating of lines.
"You'd prefer
To remember
That day without
Her tattooed brow
The simpler solution
Decrease the resolution
And"
"crop that woman out.", they sang in unison.
They began the chorus once again, Mandy taking the higher notes and Bethany the lower.
"Photoshop your memories
Your real life may be sub par
But you can be
Who you want people to think you are
Make yourself thin
Give yourself abs
Remove that mole
Say no to crack" they were giggling when they sang that, and Haru rolled her eyes.
"Goofballs."
"Say you went to the Alps
In a luxury car
With a Swedish model
Just be
Who you want
People to you think you are
Photoshop your memories
A picture is worth a thousand words
So a few white lies shouldn't hurt"
They couldn't take it anymore; they fell off the stools laughing.
They finally crawled onto the stools, Mandy gasping out, "There's a lin- hahahaha! A lin- HAHAHA! A link below- heeheehee! To the actual video-hohohoho! Later skater! Hahahahaha!"
Haru just smiled and chuckled, and laughed even harder when she saw the actual video.
"Those two," she said, wiping a tear from her eye.
"I've got the craziest friends."
She smiled.
'And that's not a bad thing.'
*z*z*z*z*
The song is entitled Photoshop Song, by Rhett and Link.
The song at the beginning (is there such a thing as an email tone? I don't know) is Seal My Fate, from the 2004 movie version of The Phantom of The Opera.
The character Bethany is a real person. she is in fact, my best friend. I wanted to include her because this is the kind of person she is, Edgar Allan Poe tattoos and all. (Although I don't think she plays the piano.)
A.N. Ok, it's official; I won't write the sequel.
Why, you ask?
Well, the fact is, despite the many views I get on this particular story (130, to be precise), only six people have shown interest in me continuing.
I have only four reviews, one follow, and one favorite. I know most authors carry on even with so little response, but it's not just this story; all THREE have this little response. I honestly don't know if my writing's that bad or not. It's gotten to the point where I'll accept anything, even if it's just a flame or someone telling me my writing stinks and I should quit while I'm ahead.
However; if I get more than four reviews on any story, I MIGHT reconsider my sequel withdrawal. I might even just share it with the people who reviewed/followed/favorited via DocX or PM.
At least then the people who cared will get their wish.
It's up to you.
There's a link to the actual video in my profile, so if anyone's interested, feel free to check it out.
Stay nerdy, people.
~ Tie-Dyed Broadway