Needless to say none of the kids slept much that night. Joe peeked through the keyhole to see when his parents would leave Jamie's room, and as soon as they had disappeared from his sight and entered the stairs, he was out of his room and at his little brother's bed.
Jamie smiled, wide awake as well. "Erin?" he whispered, and Joe nodded proudly. At least he had managed to teach Jamie something. "Let's see" he whispered back, and together the brother went to their sister's room – at the other end of the corridor, far away from the stairs and their parents.
Joe had matured enough to knock on the door – before he went in, not awaiting Erin's answer.
The room was empty.

Joe frowned. "Erin?" He turned full circle, trying to locate his sister's hiding place. The room wasn't that big and his sister didn't use to hide beneath her bed since… since ever.
"Erin?" Jamie fell in, too excited to keep his voice silent. "Erin, where…"
"Shh!" Joe quickly put his hand over his little brother's mouth. "You wanna get mom and dad up again?" Jamie's eyes widened, and he shook his head. "Good."

"Joe, what the hell are you doing?" Only Erin was able to keep her voice sharp and hushed at he same time.
Joe let go at once. "Sorry" he murmured, "did I hurt you?"
Jamie waved aside, his eyes glued to Erin – and to the envelope in her hand. "Do you…"
"Danny may be confused and hurt from all he lived through, but he is home and will soon be with us again" Erin said solemnly, clearly enjoying her brothers' absolute attention, "and I think we should have read this when he comes." A lot less solemn, she added, "and he doesn't need to know we didn't open it all the time. I don't wanna tell him we didn't."
"Nope" Joe confirmed, eyes glued to the envelope as well. "Let's read it." He looked at his siblings. "Altogether?"
"On the bed?" Jamie suggested. Erin nodded, trying to get solemn again. "Alright. Let's…"
"Then open it!" Jamie cried and jumped onto his sister's bed. Joe sat down next to him while Erin took a pair of scissors to carefully cut the letter open.

After Danny had left the siblings had come together in his room, and there they had found an envelope on his bed, addressed to all of them. The first moment of excitement had been quickly followed by a moment of collective panic, and soon they had agreed to not open the letter. They didn't want to read reassuring words from their brother when he could die at the same time. And if Danny would never come back – though nobody had ever spoken this possibility out aloud - they didn't want to know the content. It was a decision made in defiance and fear, and in those eighteen months each of them had regretted it.
Several times one of them had sneaked up into Danny's room to open the envelope, but somehow one of the others had always stopped him. When Jamie had caught fever, Joe's first reaction had been to run up and get the letter, while Erin just wanted to burn it - being in danger of losing two brothers every moment had been too much to cope with.

Anyway, after one year they had repeated their promise not to open the letter, this time – officially – not because they feared to lose Danny, but because he was so brave and had to renounce so much. They didn't fight, but at least they could abstain, too.

But now they didn't have to be afraid anymore. Erin's fingers were shaking slightly as she sat down next to Jamie and placed the letter down in the middle.
"I'd never thought I'd miss him so much" she confessed quietly. "I'm so glad he'll come home."
There was no reaction – both Joe and Jamie were busy reading. Erin took a deep breath and looked at the letter.

Hey guys,

this is the fifth start of a letter, and I swear it'll be the last, I've still got loads of packing to do. I know you're worried about where I'm going and what I'm doing now, and honestly – I don't feel too comfortable, either. I know that I'm doing the right thing – I am, Erin – but it's still tough leaving you guys. I know you're gonna hate me for this, but I signed up for the total length. Eighteen months. That's a damn long time but I've got to do it. And if I'll have to do a second tour, so be it.
Okay, if you're reading this aloud could you please leave the "damn" out when Jamie's listening? I don't want a curse to be the last thing he hears from me for a long time.
I love you guys, I need you to know that. And I know you'll do just fine without me. Just…try not to forget about me, okay?

Erin, I know I'm a jerk sometimes, but you're the best sister anyone could get. And you're beautiful, and clever, so don't think you've got to give every guy a chance. You're better than that. Wait for the right man to come, I promise he will. And when I come back you introduce him to me and then he'll really get tested. And if he survives me… you know what I mean. Watch out for Joe and Jamie. They look up to you, and they need you – they need someone reasonable. I love you.

Joe… god knows I'm a jerk to you, too, sometimes. I'm sorry for that. I know we've had quite a rough time recently, and I'm sorry for that, too. Just know that no matter what I said I'm proud of you. You are one of the coolest guys I've ever met, and yes – you already are better in school than I ever was. Point for you. But that doesn't give you the right to stop caring for your marks, alright? Man, you've gotta be a role model now. And you gotta keep an eye on Erin, but try not to strangle everyone she's talking to. Grandpa once made that mistake and almost ended up in… well, let's talk about that when I come back, alright? Joe, you're the best friend I have. I know I can trust you, and I know you will never let me down, and I'm so thankful for it. Take care.

Jamie, I know you're still mad at me because I'm missing your first days in school. Hell, I'm gonna miss your first one and a half years in school. I'm so sorry, Jamie. I know I promised never to let you down, and now… it' okay to be angry at me, but you've got to know I really didn't want to leave you. And I'm only a phone call away! You're gonna do this. And from how I know you I think you'll be better at school than even Joe is. I'm proud of you, Jamie. I know you don't want to hear this because it sounds like goodbye, but I need to say this, okay? Whatever will happen to me, you've gotta know that you never gonna be alone. You'll always have Erin and Joe to look after you, and mom and dad of course. They'll be there for you. And you've gotta be there for them, even after I'll come back. Stop Joe before he does really stupid things, and get Erin to laugh a bit more. And take care of yourself. Honestly I don't think I'll be able to go on when something happens to any of you. Just – don't do anything stupid or dangerous or somehow…

Be safe, okay? Promise me you'll take care of each other. I love you, guys. I really love you. And I'm gonna miss you like crazy.

Right and now's the time to stop being corny.
See you later, guys. Kiss mom and dad from me.
Danny.

As soon as she had finished Erin looked up to Joe, tears in her eyes. Joe's glance was challenging, and watery, too. Silently they waited till Jamie was done reading, which wasn't as long as you would expect it from an eight year-old. As he looked up to into his siblings' faces, he was crying openly. "I'm not mad at him!" he protested weakly, and Erin quickly put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. "I know", she whispered soothingly, gently mussing up his hair, "I know and Danny knows, too. He knows we love him" she said with determination, looking at Joe now, "we've talked to him on the phone all the time, he knows it. And he's coming home tomorrow, for crying out loud!"
"Shh!" both Jamie and Joe hissed, and Erin bit her lips. They didn't dare breathing for a minute, but the rest of the house stayed silent.
Eventually Erin breathed out softly. "Sorry" she whispered. Joe shook his head. "It's alright, Erin. We're all kind of shaken up, I guess. That's okay. And he's coming back, so we shouldn't take that too serious. It's gonna be okay tomorrow. Don't worry, Jamie!" He punched his little brother playfully on the shoulder, making him giggle.

Erin stared at her brother in amazement. "Who are you and what have you done to Joe?"
"Funny" he said but couldn't hide a smile. Then he went serious and nodded towards the letter. "He thinks I'm cool. And he's proud of me and trusts me." His face lit up at the memory. Erin put her hand over his and squeezed it. "We all are, Joe! And we all do. You're doing a great job at being the middle child." She bit her lips. "Am I really that bad?"
Joe chuckled. "No, Erin, you're great. Really. But I feel sorry for John somehow. Danny's gonna drive him crazy!"
Erin blushed. "You think I really should introduce him to Danny yet?"
"Doesn't seem like you had a choice." Joe sighed. "I just hope he'll like Angela."
"He will" Erin smiled, "she's a good girl. I don't always understand how she gets on with you, but she does. And she's happy when she's with you. Hell, she wouldn't stay here if she didn't!"
Joe nodded in relief. "Makes sense. Alright, let's go to bed everyone?"
Erin nodded. "Yeah, it's about time. Especially for you, Jamie. Jamie?"

The youngest was rereading a certain line on the letter, over and over again.
"Jamie? What's wrong?"
"Danny wants me to take care of you" Jamie whispered fearfully, "even after he's come back." He looked up. "How am I supposed to take care of anybody?"
Even Joe was unsure what to say now. "I guess you just… ask him tomorrow."
To which Jamie frowned. "If I ask him tomorrow he'll know that we haven't read the letter before."
Erin smirked. "Good point, Jamie."
"You got a better idea?"
She sighed. "Unfortunately, no. But I'm sure you'll figure out." She smiled assuringly.
Joe chuckled. "That's Erinish for: I have nooo idea."
Jamie grinned but quickly became earnest again. "What am I supposed to do, still?"
Joe and Erin looked at each other. "What about…"
"Let's start with sleeping" Erin suggested, and Joe nodded, thankful for the input. "She's right, Jamie. Go to bed or you'll oversleep Danny arriving here!"
Jamie hardly slept that night.

Frank and Mary didn't sleep much, either. When Jamie couldn't stay in bed any longer at four o'clock in the morning he found his parents already dressed up in the living room. When Frank went up to wake up his other children at half past five, both of them were staring at the ceiling, clearly waiting to be called for.
They picked Linda up at six and drove to the airport, none of them speaking a word – which was odd for Joe and Jamie, and even stranger for grandpa Henry. The elder man had not lost a single word about war and being in the army since Linda had shown them the letter. And he didn't let go of Betty's hand all the way.

They stood lined up, all seven, next to what seemed like a hundred other families. Frank had picked up Jamie so he would see his brother when he entered the arrival hall of JFK.

They waited.

Eventually Betty sat down on the floor, grumbling. More to make it less embarrassing for her mother-in-law than because her legs gave way, Mary sat down next to her, and sometimes later Erin and Linda followed, leaving the men staring at the closed doors.

Then they opened.

Danny hadn't slept much that night, either. He had thought about what to say to his parents, to his siblings, to Linda…over and over again he had thought what would be best. He still had no idea. How do you greet your family after you haven't seen them for one and a half year? And whom should he start with? Mom? Dad? He couldn't really start with greeting Linda. If she was at the airport. Who knew. Maybe she had decided to stay away for this day. The mere thought of not seeing her for another day brought Danny to the verge of tears again, and crying was the most forbidden thing at all. He had grown into a man in these years, and he would not cry when he came home. He had not deserved such a relief.

The doors opened too quickly. Danny was standing in the first row, next to a young man called Eddie. From the stiff way to hold his head Danny knew that his comrade was feeling the same.
"Why do I wish to be back in camp Jrat now?" Eddie murmured promptly, and just as Danny was about to answer him, he saw them.

All of them had come. All of them were here, waiting for him to come home. He was safe again. "God…" whatever Danny had wanted to say was washed away be the tears that tickled his eyes, choking him. He didn't care. Through the tears his eyes were fixed on his family, on Linda staring in his direction, not seeing him yet but with a glance so full of passion that she soon would burn the doors down. On Joe, holding hands with Erin as they stared, too. On his father, having one arm around his mother, holding her close, and the other one holding Jamie up against his chest.
Suddenly the doors were opening far too slowly.

As soon as there was space enough, Danny and Eddie squeezed through the door. A very short glance to his comrade told Danny that he, too, was overwhelmed.

Then Jamie saw him, and called his name, cried it right into the breathless, expectant silence: "Dannyyyyy!"

Danny walked faster as the crowd began to cheer, started by the little boy who now struggled to get down as soon as he could. He wiped off the tears as he started to run, only to quickly be passed by Jim McErran, another comrade who had spent his free time with making fun out of Danny.

Danny couldn't have cared less. He stood in front of his family, a certain distance between them that he dared not break. He wasn't the man they had sent away anymore. What if they would turn away? What if he hurt one of them? What if this distance would remain forever?
Danny looked up into his father's face but he couldn't read it. All he saw were the tears blinking in his eyes.

"Hey" Dany croaked out, "How's it going? I mean… thanks for coming and… I… I'm sorry for everything I said or will say and…" he stopped, barely controlling his voice anymore. There was nothing he wanted more than hold them and keep them safe, and be safe with them. And there was nothing he feared more than hold them, and break them. He stared at his family, each of them having tears in their eyes.

Erin shook her head. "You're not… you didn't… damn it, Danny!" She moved forward, then backed away, not sure how to behave with her brother. There was nothing she wanted more than hug him, and never let him go – but she was afraid that if she did, he'd break apart right in front of her.

Joe nodded, lips pressed together tightly. He knew he shouldn't think that way now, but if Danny came home from war such a wreck – what would become of him?

Linda had tears in her eyes as well, but she held Danny's glance. "It's okay" she said, quiet but calm, "no matter what it is we'll see it through, Danny."

Danny nodded, shaking violently now. "I…"

"Mom?" Jamie's whimper was so low that Danny almost wouldn't have heard it. He looked down to the boy in front of him. He had missed him so much.
"Please? Can I? Please!"
Mary smiled, her eyes fixed on her eldest son as she let go of Jamie's hand and said, "yes."

Jamie jumped forward three steps, arms sprawled out straight ahead till they found what they had searched for.

Danny stumbled back as his little brother hit him full force, throwing his arms around – his stomach, actually. Jamie had grown.

Yet as he started sobbing into his big brother's shirt, Danny knew that he was still the little boy he had held in his arms when he was only hours born.
"Welcome home, Danny!" Jamie looked up, deep brown eyes that in a few years would make every girl in high school go crazy.
And he would be there to see it.

"Thank you, Jamie." Danny knelt down to hug his little brother. As his family knelt down at his side, each of them holding on to him somehow, Danny allowed the tears to fall.