Dom: This oneshot idea came to me when my parents and I were discussing about one of the episodes in CSI and Monday Mornings. It was pretty hilarious.

Alyssa: Is this about—mmph *mouth covered*

Dom: Shut up

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Disclaimer: Don't own

Note: AU in both universe

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"What's the cause of death?" a raven-haired man with blue eyes asked his fellow doctor.

"It could be poison or overdose," a silver-haired man with grey eyes answered.

"Dead?"

"Obviously. Found in a crime scene already dead. Didn't you read the reports, Kazuo?"

Kazuo huffed, "I only scanned it, Ryohei. I don't read it word by word."

"How the hell did you pass your entrance exams?"

"I'm still wondering how the hell I got 100% on my Final French Test and I can't even understand one word to this day and you asked that? I guess its part of the mysteries in the world that would remain unsolved," Kazuo shrugged.

Ryohei stared at him incredulously, "You're kidding right?"

"Nope. I was pretty shocked when I found out too."

"You really are full of surprises."

"I know. I hate it. Well, do you want me to take the body to the morgue?" Kazuo offered.

"If you don't mind."

"I wouldn't have offered if I mind."

"Right, right. Meet you in the break room?"

"Yeah, wait, is Lambo here to check the body?" Kazuo pointed at the body.

"Think he's in the morgue waiting for it."

Kazuo nodded, "Thanks, see ya!"

"Later!"

Kazuo was humming on his way to the morgue. When he entered, he saw the younger man poking at one of corpse there, "Having fun there, Lambo?"

"Yeah. I totally enjoy the cold and freezing room where I am surrounded by dead bodies everyday. I'm still waiting to the day where they are going to rise up like zombies," Lambo raised his arms in front of him and started walking like Frankenstein.

Kazuo laughed, "Like that would happen."

"It can," Lambo argued.

"Yeah and I'll stop eating sweets every hour of the day," Kazuo snorted, "Anyways the body's ready for the autopsy. He's dead. Checked it four times; twice by hand and twice by machine and I am completely sure that the brain's dead and the heart's stop beating."

"Thanks and can you do me a favor and get me a new pair of gloves in the cabinet," Lambo asked as he starts to examine the body.

"Sure," Kazuo turned around and made his way to the cabinet and reached for it, "Are you sure it's here?"

"Of course I am. I always put it there," Lambo said rather indignantly.

"Calm your ass down, Cowboy," Kazuo rolled his eyes and blindly grasped inside the cupboard.

It was silent except for the hand scrambling inside the cupboard and the clacking of Lambo's shoes once in a while. It was broken by Lambo himself after a few minutes passed with a terrified squeak.

"What? Did you see a roach or something? Better not be a huge ass spider or I will flattened that bugger into a pancake."

Lambo kept emitting scared squeaks as if trying to say something, but can't get it out.

"HA! Got it," Kazuo declared as he heard a thud behind him, "Dude, you okay?" he turned around only to scream bloody murder at the sight and scramble away.

The supposed dead body is now sitting up, pale face, but bloody. Lambo's figure was on the ground, unconscious.

The zombie slowly turns his head towards him and Kazuo did what he first thought of; run like the devil is after you while letting out a blood-curdling scream and crying for help, "HELP ME!" he thought of going back and saving Lambo, but he's not too sure if he's infected or not; he knows that his conscience is going to eat him up later on though.

Kazuo ran out of the room only to bump into Hibari, the detective who's in charge of this case and sadly his team leader.

"Hibari!" Kazuo exclaimed, yes he despised the man, but he's glad that someone heard his pleas for help, "You have no idea how much I am glad to see you! We have to go!" he grabbed hold of his arm and started dragging him away.

Hibari resisted, "What the fuck are you talking about, omnivore?" the feelings are mutual, but they both respect each other's intelligence and strength.

"The body just sat up. Alive, but he was dead. Dead I tell you. I checked it four times and I never make mistakes you know that and now I think Lambo's his lunch," Kazuo cried.

Hibari rolled his eyes and continued on his way with Kazuo trying to drag him out, but alas the shorter man was weaker than him.

It was a pretty hilarious sight with Kazuo's feet sliding on the floor, trying to stop Hibari, but the detective just kept walking as if there was no one who's slowing him down.

They entered the room and no zombie was in sight. Hibari looking around searching for any signs of the body sans for Lambo with Kazuo standing on his toes, his head over Hibari's shoulders to take a peek as well.

An angry tick mark appeared by Hibari's brow, "Are you sure you're not imagining things?" he asked as he distance himself from Kazuo a bit and faced the doctor, still searching for signs.

"Are you accusing me of a liar?!"

"There is no dead body here walking around."

"What about Lambo?"

"He probably fell asleep."

"What about the body Lambo's going to dissect? It's gone and I personally delivered it. Ask Ryohei," Kazuo crossed his arms across his chest.

Hibari was about to open his mouth for a comeback when his eyes widened.

"You okay, Hibari? You look like you've seen a ghost," Kazuo waved a hand in front of the taller man's face when something clamped down his shoulder, he froze, "please tell me it's a living person and not a dead man gone back alive for revenge or worse…lunch."

Hibari kept silent and stared at something behind Kazuo so the latter slowly took a peek at the thing weighing his shoulders and saw a pale hand and he let out a whimper as his eyes dragged upwards and met up with a sight of the dead man's face.

"Before I die, I need to tell you something," Kazuo whispered still staring at the figure.

"What is it?" Hibari asked softly, doing the same thing Kazuo is.

"I really despise you and I'm annoyed that I get to see your face everyday and that you're my boss. Besides that I really hate the fact that before I die you are the last person I get to see. The only good thing that will come out is that if I ever become a zombie, I have chance to kill you," Kazuo told him and felt a small triumphant feeling washed over him when he caught Hibari's brow twitching at his speech, "I respect your intelligence. You're not a complete moron like every other person I meet."

"You wasted all those time to tell me your pointless speech when you could've used it to escape?"

"Now, you're just being mean," Kazuo pouted before grasping the hand on his shoulder and twisting it while pivoting his body. The offender's hand ended up twisted and behind his back. Kazuo kicked the back of the man's knees and he fell down. He dug his knee in the middle of his back and placed his arm higher towards between his shoulder blades. With a flick of his hand, he hit the man's neck and the man—who was struggling in his hold—fell limp.

"I swear you are getting dumber everyday," Hibari hissed at him and check the unconscious man if it's alive or not, "He's alive. Someone must have probably injected his body with a medicine that slows his heart rate down to almost dead and made us think that the brain is dead. Or it was perhaps him."

Kazuo huffed and dusted himself up, "Shut up, Skylark! At least this proves that I'm not high nor crazy."

"And yet you didn't flip that man over the moment he touched you. You're not high or a psycho, you're an idiot."

Kazuo growled and both glared at one another with so much intensity, the room darkens and electricity went between them.

The "zombie" beside them groaned, awakened by the feeling of the impending doom coming forth. Kazuo took notice and grabbed a silver basin by his side and dropped it directly on the head making him unconscious again. Kazuo did all these without breaking eye contact with Hibari.

"Hey, Lambo have you seen Hibari or Kazuo anywhere?" Ryohei suddenly appeared in the room then realized the two were locked in a glaring contest, "Never mind, I found them…wait, why is Lambo on the ground? And why is our decedent on the ground and breathing? And why is there a silver basin by his head?"

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Dom: 17th chapter. Yeah, a pointless one at that, but I already typed it. Thanks for reading and for your time *smiles*