41;

The sound of patterned beeping and low humming was emanating from a slew of machines sitting just behind her head, their monotony hypnotizing and somewhat relaxing. The room felt harshly bright as the stark whites of the walls and ceiling seemingly collaborated together to converge all of the light directly into her eyes. As they adjusted to their brightness she started taking in the space around her to get a handle on where she was.

She looked down and saw that she was wearing a white gown with a blue diamond pattern spattered up and down it. The bottom half was covered by an even whiter bed sheet that was strewn over her. She tried to reach for the sheet and pull it up but was stopped by a shallow grip of metal. She tugged off the sheet with her other hand to find that her left hand was handcuffed to the bed railing. She shook the cuffs several times in disbelief.

A head appeared in the doorway, likely from the noise she caused, and disappeared just as quickly. A few seconds later she could hear the static from a handset radio.

She shrugged off the odd event and rested her head back onto the pillow and stared at the ceiling when, without an opportunity to ease into them, the events from the previous night came flooding into her head. Like a bomb, she was unable to resist the devastation they wrought.

She broke down and cried as hard as her body would allow to the point her stomach, chest, throat, everything was sore and burned. Her exhales escaped as moans and she writhed with every inhale. Her eyes eventually exhausted their supply and stopped flowing but unfortunately took over as focal points for a new piercing throbbing.

After some time since she heard the radio static a man dressed in a simple white dress shirt and black jacket cautiously walked in and made his way to the foot of her bed. He observed the girl who was clearly suffering and found himself hesitant to disturb her.

"Hello, Riley. I'm Detective Mason."

She slowly drug her eyes over to meet his. "Why did it take so long?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Why did it take so fucking long? We waited, and we waited, and she just kept getting worse…"

"I can tell you've been through a lot and I'm sorry about that, and for your friend, but-"

"I don't care, I want her back!" She tried to lean up but was pulled back down by the cuff around her wrist. She flailed her hand and yelled before tiring herself out and falling defeated back against the bed. "They should've just left me there…"

"I know you're upset, Riley, but please don't think like that. I can't even imagine what you went through."

"No. You can't. You really can't."

"I know that. And I'm not going to pretend to. But I am here to talk to you about that night."

"You're fucking kidding me. You can't even give me one second to-" She choked back her tears and dropped her head back on the pillow. "One second before interrogating me? Really?"

"I'm not kidding, Riley. And I'm sorry if it seems like I'm being aggressive, but you have been out for almost a week."

"A week? …it just happened last night."

"I understand, but I'm just trying to figure out what happened so I can help you and possibly many more like you."

"Why are you doing this to me?" She wiped her eyes before rolling onto her side facing away from the man. "Just leave me alone…"

"Because if not now, then I'd have to do it at the station with you in cuffs, and I really don't want to do that. Please, Riley. I really am just trying to help."

With no response from her the man sighed and rubbed his temple. "Again, I'm really sorry about what happened. Just… I'll be back when the doctor gives me the okay."

As suddenly he appeared he disappeared out the door, leaving her alone in the overexposed sterile room still handcuffed to the bed. He took with him the distraction from everything that she realized she desperately needed soon after he left.

The next two days were filled with a black heaviness of self-loathing and depression which wrapped themselves around her tightly, leaving her empty and numb. The only breaks in her routine came from diminishing sporadic bouts of sobbing and anger followed by regret.

She was still prisoner to her hospital bed on the third day after waking. The nurses had been observing her closely, but infrequently, mainly replenishing her of severely needed water and other vital fluids. The doctor was in and out just a few times a day. He'd check her chart, mark something on the pad, glance at her cuffs, and leave.

She had exhausted herself in every possibly way, leaving her with the inability, or extreme disinterest, to interact with anyone or anything.

Despite her initial hatred for the detective, it was of minimal relief when the man showed himself again and dropped a bag of clothes onto the chair near her bed. He was, if nothing else, a means to free herself from her second prison within a week.

"Hi again, Riley. If you haven't guessed by the bag of clothes, you get out today. So, now's the time. I take you in, or I can take you home. Your choice."

"…and why would you take me in?"

"Because we don't know what happened there. It's a precaution."

Riley stared him down without a word and shook her cuffed wrist blatantly.

He stared back in thought for a moment before walking around to the other side of the bed. "I'll take them off. But I'll need your full cooperation, story and all."

She stayed silent which caused him to rethink his offer, but then proceeded anyway. He pulled out a key and undid the cuffs that were restraining her to the bed. She broke the glance between them and shifted it downward to watch her hand as she rotated it in a circle to release its stiffness.

"Fine."

The man exhaled out of relief. "Thank you. Get dressed and I'll take you home."

An hour later she was in the back of a cruiser in the middle of nowhere dressed in the generic shirt and skirt outfit that he brought her. The blood-soaked one she was wearing from that night was likely locked away in the back of a police station's evidence room by now.

She stared blankly at the world outside her window as it flowed by. The beginning of the spring season had begun to sprout new life, dots of green contrasted the white and brown of the land that winter had wrought.

Her exhaustion caught up to her and kept her asleep until a couple of hours later when the car hit a bump in the road. The vegetation had become sparser, chunks of it missing here and there to make space for, familiarly, shops and diners. Buildings came into view when the car took a turn down the road leading toward the city. The buildings elongated and stretched above them and out of their eyesight as they neared. And even though the sky was clear, it appeared grayer and duller than even on the stormiest of days.

The car came to a stop in front of an old building with some worn letters screwed into the brick above the doorway, 'Setter Road Apartments.'

She got out without a word and walked toward the door, stopping to turn around when the man in the car called out her name.

"I'll be by tomorrow to pick you up. Call me if you need anything."

She ignored him and turned back around and headed through the door. The inside hadn't changed, just as disgusting and torn up as when they left it. The staircase was scuffed and the walls were still covered in dirt and bits of graffiti.

She disregarded it all as she made her way back to the apartment door, but as soon as she reached it she stopped cold. Her stomach began to twist itself frenziedly and the numbness that had taken her over vanished and was replaced with an aggressive state of grief. She stood staring, unknowing what to do, when somehow her body managed to force its hand up to the door and fall against it twice.

A moment later Aiden's face appeared in the gap. "Riley!" He raised his voice in surprise. "One sec." He closed it and fully reopened it a second later. He was walking back to the couch when he announced her. "Mom, they're back."

She trudged in with almost no strength left in her legs and observed everyone in their usual spots.

"Hi, sweetheart. Sure took you guys a bit longer than you thought, huh?" Her brow dropped in confusion as Riley she stood alone in the middle of the room. "Where's your better half?"

That single innocent question was all it took to overwhelm Riley's best effort at holding herself together. Her eyes darted frantically as she threw her hand over her mouth with a whimper and ran into her room.

Marlene flinched as Riley slammed the door shut. "Did I say something wrong?"

She walked over to the door and slowly tried the knob which she found wasn't going to give. She put her ear against the door, held her breath, and was able to clearly hear an alternating series of muffled yelling and sobbing.

She pulled away and motioned for Aiden to go sit back down. She followed immediately after and took a spot next to him on the couch and across from the older man.

"I think something happened between the two of them. She'll talk when she's ready."

The day passed and the door remain closed and locked, leaving the other occupants in a lingering state of confusion.

Riley hadn't moved from the bed the entire time, unable to. She rested her head on Ellie's now damp pillow while staring out at the city lights that seemed far dimmer than usual. She turned onto her side and simply stared at the empty half of the bed before somehow managing to give in to sleep after hours of trying.

Her first night was impossible. The long accustomed to feeling and dependency of Ellie's touch was the only source of stability in her life, and with it gone she felt lost. Hopeless.

The second night was even harder to deal with. The third yet still. The morning after the third was of no relief either, but she hesitantly accepted that being reclusive was potentially only exacerbating the issue. And that, despite her extreme aversion for the option, talking might be of some help.

Marlene had been respectfully patient and hadn't said a word to Riley about whatever it was she was going through, nor the other housemates per her instruction, and ignored the discomfort it was causing. She knew something was serious but gave her time and space.

When she arrived home after work and took a seat to watch TV with Aiden and Joel, she observed Riley as she emerged from her room and stood just outside the door with pink tinted eyes and disheveled hair.

She perked up but remained cautious. "Hi, Riley."

Riley struggled with how to speak after days of silence but managed to force herself, albeit slowly. "I think… maybe, it might help if I talked."

The three of them, expecting silence, were all noticeably surprised by the words.

Riley nodded toward Marlene. "Just you… if that's okay."

Marlene looked at the other two before settling into Riley's gaze and nodding. "Yeah. Of course."

She pushed herself up and followed Riley into her room, closing the door behind her for privacy. She quickly scanned the room and found it a sty with clothes scattered across the floor and everything else in general disarray. Her focus shifted back to the distraught dark-skinned girl who was toying with half of the broken heart necklace.

"What would you like to talk about, sweetheart?"

Riley looked up at her from the edge of the bed, her heel bouncing just as chaotically as from that night. She was only able to keep her focus on Marlene for just a few seconds at a time. "It's Ellie. She's… um…"

Marlene waited for her to continue for a moment before softening her tone. "You can tell me anything. What is it?"

Riley thought she could hold herself together after the several days, even if for just a minute, and that she'd be able to talk about it. But that idea deteriorated instantly along with her control when she confronted the nightmare.

"Gone."

"Gone?"

"She's gone! I don't know what to do… I can't stop crying. It just keeps getting worse and worse and worse."

Marlene was surprised from the sudden jump from her mostly calm demeanor into what took her over. She motioned towards herself which Riley accepted without hesitation. She rubbed her back until the shallow convulsions subsided.

Riley slowly backed up while wiping her eyes and sniffling. "I miss her so much."

"Riley, you have to start over. Tell me what happened. What do you mean she's gone?"

"It was my fault… everything. It was all my fault."

"What was?"

"It was my fucking idea to go back there. Maybe if I had just listened or hadn't brought it up at all she wouldn't be…" She tried to stop herself from breaking down again as tears began running down her cheeks. "I can't do this. I can't. I told her that. I told her that I needed her, that she can't leave me. But she did. She did."

"Riley, please, just tell me."

"She's dead! Okay? She's dead and I'm never gonna see her again or talk to her… I…"

"…wait, what? Riley, are you serious?"

"I can't… I can't, I can't."

"Oh my god, Riley, I'm so sorry. What-"

"For the first time in my fucking miserable life I was happy. And even with all the shit that we went through, we were okay, like maybe life didn't have to suck. But now what's the point? What the hell is the point?"

"Riley."

"I'm serious!"

"…Riley, I don't-"

"This room, this place… this necklace. She's everywhere. I shouldn't have asked to talk to you, I'm sorry." She slid passed Marlene on her left and hurried out the door.

"Riley wait!" She turned around and followed her path back out through the main area. She saw Aiden standing at alert before heading out the door. "Stay there."

Marlene hustled down the dim hallway, past the scuffed up floors and torn up walls, and past the dragon lady hibernating in her cave. The sounds of cars and ambient city noise exploded as she opened the front door and walked out onto the sidewalk in front of the building. She shaded her eyes with her hand and turned her gaze in the direction of traffic flow but was unable to spot the girl. She jerked her head the other direction and spotted a figure rounding a corner some ways down.

She took a chance and hurried over in that direction and turned into an alleyway near where she saw it disappear into. She sighed in relief when she spotted the girl sitting against the wall with her face hidden behind her knees.

"There you are."

Riley watched silently with stained eyes from behind her hair.

"Riley, sweetheart, I'm so sorry." She exhaled and took a seat next to her on the ground and put an arm around her far shoulder.

They sat in silence until Riley seemed to eventually lose some of the strength in her grip and the atmosphere felt slightly more comfortable between the two.

"Nine years ago… nine years ago my husband died, when Aiden was still a baby. That was, by far, the hardest time in my life. I lost my best friend that day. And I know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but it takes time to get over loss of any kind. Let alone someone so close."

She started rubbing Riley's arm after she felt some of the tension return.

"I know you loved her, Riley. You two were inseparable, that was obvious. And it'll be hard for a while. It will, I'm not going to lie to you. But you'll get through it, I promise you." Marlene took a deep breath while searching for the right words. "My family was my biggest support after he passed… I don't know what I would've done without them. So I need you to know that I'm always here for you. No matter what, okay? We're gonna get through this. Together."

Riley sniffled again and raised her head out from behind her knees. "…I know."

Marlene sighed before letting her arm fall from around Riley. "So come on, let's go back upstairs and we'll talk some more." She smiled as empathetically as she could.

Riley shifted her eyes around the alley until they met back with Marlene's. "I think I need some air first…"

"You sure?"

"…yeah. I'll be up in a bit."

"Okay." Marlene pushed herself up to her feet. "You'll get through this, sweetheart. I'll be waiting inside." She smiled again before walking back around the corner of the alley.

Soon after Marlene disappeared back around the corner Riley struggled to her feet. She eyed the alley entrance and watched the people flow left and right in a staggered stream. Almost autonomously she soon joined them and trudged along the edge of the sidewalk while observing each face as they passed by. Every one of them was going about their daily monotony, most with a mannequin's expression plastered where their face should be, unchanging, and some incomprehensibly content.

She mindlessly wandered along the city's streets until eventually running across the small green park the two of them had slept in when they first arrived in the city. Her memories from that night, expectantly painful, surprisingly managed a slight smile out of her. It grew larger on her face like an infection with each passing second only to be replaced in an instant by desperation when she glanced down at the piece of metal in her hand.

She clenched the necklace and slowly walked up to where the sidewalk met the roaring street and stood teetering on its edge. Cars and trucks flew by just inches away, their gusts of wind causing her hair to wildly dance among the rustling leaves.

And though normally demoralizing, the world around her and its complete indifference as to her existence felt trivial while Ellie continued to dominate her mind. Whatever it was that made Riley, Riley, the freckled girl had taken with her.

The realization of pointlessness forced her gaze onto a semi-truck a dozen car lengths away down the road. She waited until it neared before stepping forward.