A/N: 06/04/2015 I am so sorry for not updating. Really, I am. I've had a really bad writer's block, and the fact that I have like five other stories to update isn't helping. But, here I am, and here it is :)
P: Oh, P. I am so grateful for your reviews on my Caryl stories, especially this one. I want you to know that you are the reason I pushed through and got this chapter out. Not that I don't love my other reviewers, but the timing for your review was perfect. Just...thank you :3 I'm glad you liked how I put Michonne in there a couple chapters back, and also that you ship Bethyl and Caryl as well. I hope you enjoy this update!
Sasha: Thank you! Enjoy the update! :D
Beth: Sorry to keep you hanging. But hey, I've got a new chapter now. Enjoy :)
Prettyprincess45: Yeah, it's so sad that this story is nearing its end! I really love writing for it! But hey, with the way I'm writing it'll probably be a while before that end comes (haha so not funny but laughing anyway), so have no fear there. Anyway, enjoy the update XD
fangirl8494: Hey thanks! I'm glad you like this story so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter :D
itsi3: Thanks, Crystal! Enjoy the update ;)
colorful565: Thank you very much, kind miss. Enjoy the update :)
windy: Yes, I am sorry for my pitiful reading times. I've realized that they're really off (like, really off) but I think I've pinpointed the cause. I won't bother giving you an explanation, but I WILL work to make them more accurate. Thank you for the feedback, without people like you I would never be able to improve on the things I suck at XD Anyway, enjoy the chapter. And feel free to bash me if this chapter's reading time isn't accurate.
wildcow258: Thank you! I'm sorry for taking so long on updating again, but better late than...oh never mind. Haha enjoy the chapter; Merle is indeed one of a kind! :)
Reading time: 5 mins.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.
Chapter fourteen: Brotherly Fights and Better Choices~
They spent the next couple of weeks lying low, careful not to draw too much attention to themselves lest they get in trouble with or caught by police.
Daryl sat on the couch, lounging in their apartment as he stared mindlessly at the closet across from him. The same closet Carol had been in for the few nights she was there. It had been hard to keep his wits about him lately, ever since they'd left her house in the middle of the night. He felt guilty, like he had taken her hospitality for granted and then left her high and dry, which he pretty much had.
He still wondered how she'd felt when she had woken up and gone downstairs to find that they weren't there. Was she worried? Was she scared? Did she go through the whole house looking for them, or making sure they hadn't stolen anything? The thought of her not trusting him made him sick, but the thought of invading her home and taking advantage of her kindness made him even sicker. And with Merle constantly at his side telling him what to do and how to think about the situation, his railing emotions did little to calm him down or keep him from being antsy in the two weeks that they had been back at their apartment.
Yes, with all the tension and stress and worry regarding Carol and Merle and trying not to get caught by the cops, Daryl had nearly reached his snapping point. And as his older brother came in the door with a smug attitude and a sack of weed, that point was now.
"Man, what the hell were you doin'?!" He yelled, leaping off the couch to chew out his brother.
"Woah!" Merle exclaimed, surprised. "What's the problemo, little brother? I was only gone fer a minute."
Daryl, absolutely baffled that his older brother couldn't register the fact that he was very, very angry, could only stare in disbelief as he breathed hotly through his nose and twisted his face in disgust.
Merle liesurely walked over, pulling out a wad of cash with his free hand. "Now look here; see that? Five hundred bucks for a few ounces. Sold 'em to a couple o' foreigners. I gotta tell ya, little brother, they're getting' dumber by the year."
He chuckled, leaning down to rest the remaining bag of narcotics on the coffee table between them. Normally, Daryl would simmer down and back off at this point, shoving whatever it was he had to say back where it belonged before things got ugly, but this simple action only proved to anger him even further than he already was, and so the older Dixon was surprised when he moved forward and angrily swept everything off the table.
Magazines, beer bottles, ash trays, and drugs alike were all shoved to the floor with vehemence, and Daryl clenched his jaw as he seethed.
"Man, what the hell was that for?!" Merle exclaimed, looking between him and the trash on the floor.
"Man, don't play dumb with me!" Daryl spat, snarling. "You know exactly what the hell that was for! I'm sick o' this!"
"...Sick o' what?" Merle asked confusedly.
Daryl pursed his lips, giving one last ditch effort to hold in the storm of emotions thundering within him, failing as he burst, "Everything! Okay?! I can't take this no more! Scroungin' on pennies to get by, movin' around all the time, dealin' drugs, livin' in this piece o' shit apartment...I'm sick of it!"
"Ain't nothin' no different than it was before!" Merle argued, flabbergasted as he gestured to their rundown living space. "We been getting' by like this fer years and we been doin' just fine! And yer only just now decidin' to flip the table and call it quits? Why the hell for?!"
Daryl wanted to elaborate his thoughts on the matter (ohh, how he wanted to) but his previous outburst had been uncharacteristic and unlike him, and now that his anger had reached its pinnacle, he just couldn't bring himself to say any more. He clenched his fists and pursed his lips, avoiding eye contact with his brother as he looked away and glared scorch marks into the floor.
"...Wait a minute," Merle said, realization dawning on him. "I see what's goin' on here. You're all depressed 'cuz we left the Mouse a while back, ain't ya?"
Daryl stiffened, but said nothing in response. Of course, to someone as intuitive as Merle Dixon, it was more than response enough.
"Yeah...that's it, ain't it? I shoulda known better'n ta try an' set you up with her. Screwed yer head up nice and good, that one did. Shit, I bet she's got you whipped and she don't even know it-"
"Shut up, Merle!" Daryl snapped, glaring at his brother. "Quit talkin' 'bout 'er like she ain't no count! She's ten times better'n the two of us combined, so stop actin' like she's a dime a dozen!"
"She is a dime a dozen!" Merle shot back, getting angry himself. "Don't you see, little brother? She's the type o' woman who'll steal yer heart in a second without even tryin', and then when it really counts she'll leave ya hangin'! And ya can't even bring yerself to blame 'er 'cuz she's just so damn perfect. Ya get all tingly and hot when she gets within even ten feet o' ya and yer face an' palms 're sweatin' like Niagara Falls and she ain't even talked to ya yet...and then when she does, yer tongue's all swollen an' ya can't even bring yerself to talk back 'cuz yer so dumbfounded and shit. And ya can't even...ya can't..."
By this time, Merle had paused to break eye contact with him, swallowing thickly and blinking back some excess moisture in his eyes, and Daryl realized that he was beginning to cry. Never in all his years, in all their time spent together, with the drama and foster homes and their parent's deaths, had he seen his brother cry.
Daryl stared disbelievingly at his big brother, mouth falling open in shock and surprise, when Merle gathered himself up and turned his gaze back to him.
"I've been in love, little brother. Went through all the same things you did. And lemme tell ya..." His eyes hardened, giving him a cold stare as he finished, "It was shit."
Daryl watched, speechless, as Merle dropped his things and stalked back over to the front door of their dinky little apartment, gripping the knob and swinging it open with more force than an enraged bull. He turned back to stare at him, hand gripping the edge of the door, and gave him the last piece of advice he'd receive for a long time.
"Don't try an' act all high and mighty jus' 'cuz yer in love," he said, tone somber. "It'll only land ya in a world o' hurt."
And then he left.
He didn't see Merle for some time after that.
Daryl spent his time inside their apartment, only going out for a smoke on the occasion that he needed fresh air. It had been six days since their fight. Not that he was counting. He could care less that his brother was pulling a dramatic disappearing act. Happened all the time. No reason to worry...so why in the hell did it sit so unwell with him?
Aside from the police sirens and occasional bizarre news story, he was left with little excitement and even less to do except sit around and stare at the wall. He was beginning to wonder if he should start rationing the food. It was almost as if he had up and left town. And maybe he had. Knowing him, it wouldn't be a shock to find out that he'd gone on some week-long excursion or some other shit. But they were brothers. And brothers never left each other behind. Still, a week was more than enough to cool down...
Just as Daryl was beginning to contemplate going out and looking for him, the front door opened.
Merle slowly emerged from the short hallway, a somber expression on his face, and Daryl took in his oddly clean appearance; there were no stains on his shirt or pants, no wildly unkempt scruff on his face, no glassy eyes...it was weird.
"...I got a job, little brother," he said quietly, smirking a little.
Daryl stared, wide-eyed and shocked at what he had just heard. He was almost tempted to ask him to repeat his sentence, because surely he hadn't heard right. But he could tell by the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice and the mellowed-out manner in which he was carrying himself that he was telling the truth. Quite some time had passed since his brother had spoke, and he realized that the silence was due to Merle waiting on him to say something, to see how he'd react.
He knew he had to say something, particularly something encouraging – after all, it would be a cold day in Hell when Merle decided to do something like this again – but all he could manage to say was a single, stuttered word.
"...W-what?"
"You were right, little brother," Merle said, motioning to him with his arm. "This ain't no life for us...never was."
A beat of silence passed, and Merle slowly walked forward and joined him on the couch, sitting beside him and resting his elbows on his knees as they both stared at the God-awful carpet below their feet.
"I spent the last couple o' days getting' rid of my, uh...clientele. Got a job at some shit auto-shop. Nothin' too glamorous, but at least it's decent money."
Daryl could only nod, unable to find words to express how he felt about his brother finally getting a job, a real one. He honestly never thought he'd see the day when Merle decided to get out of the drug industry and do something with his life. He'd always thought they were stuck this way, doomed to live the way they'd been living forever. Not that he wasn't incredibly grateful that he was wrong, but, still.
Daryl straightened his posture, a small smirk coming to his lips as he finally thought of something to say. "Ya know, if I'da known you'da done this, I woulda blown up on ya a lot sooner."
Merle grinned, playfully shoving him away. "Aww, shuddup. I start work tomorrow and you do too, so get used to bein' on yer feet all day instead o' yer ass."
Daryl's laughter froze in his throat, staring at his brother in disbelief. "...You got me a job?"
"Yep," he said, nonchalantly grabbing a beer off the coffee table as he stood up and stretched. "So be sure an' get some rest, will ya? Last thing I need is to embarrass myself by bringin' my inexperienced younger brother into the shop with bags the size o' Jupiter under 'is eyes."
"Hey!" Daryl stretched across the couch and kicked him, to which the older Dixon yelped in pain and just barely managed to dodge the second attack as his beer spilled all over him.
They laughed at their own mindless antics, and all was well again. No more tense silences, no more awkwardly civil conversations, no more fighting. Just the two of them, goofing off and horsing around like the biggest, most immature adult siblings in the world. And it was great.
Merle stumbled to the bathroom, grabbing onto the door to support himself as he tried to quell his laughter. "Ohh, man...I can't tell ya the last time I laughed like that. Hell, I couldn't tell ya the last time I laughed. Sad, huh, little brother?"
Daryl slowly nodded from his place on the couch, trying to catch his breath as his laughter faded. "...Yeah."
They stayed silent, briefly looking at each other from across the room before breaking eye contact and looking at the floor as their mirth died.
"...Ya know, little brother," Merle began, tone soft as he looked back up at him. "You can't see the Mouse no more."
It took Daryl a few seconds to fully process what he meant, and though he would have argued with him just a few minutes before, he couldn't bring himself to do so now. Because he was right. He couldn't see her anymore. Carol was a danger, a threat to them both. Though he was sure she didn't mean to be, it was nevertheless true. If he tried to keep seeing her now, after all they'd done to her and countless others, it would surely end in the police and a jail sentence, probably prison for Merle. And now that they were just starting to make something of themselves, he didn't want to risk sacrificing that.
Dropping his smile, Daryl looked at his brother and nodded resolutely. "...Yeah. I know."
"Things'll be better, little brother," Merle said, giving a comforting smile. "...I promise."
With nothing more to say, he entered the bathroom and shut the door, leaving Daryl alone to sort through his thoughts. He couldn't really deny that he felt good about he and his brother's future, but he also couldn't deny the growing wad of doubt knotting in his stomach. Though he was proud of his brother for making the right choice for once, he also knew how crazy and rare of a thing it was for him to do just that. What if they started their jobs and everything went well, only for him to relapse back into his old ways somewhere down the road? What if they ended up right back where they started? And what about Carol? What would happen to her? Would she be okay? Would she move away again and start a new life somewhere else? Would she forget about him?
A million doubts and a million more uncertainties swirled within his gut until he just felt sick, and he leaned over to rest his elbows on his knees as he ran his hands frustratedly through his hair. The muffled sound of running water reached his ears from across the room, and he vaguely registered that Merle was taking a shower as he tried to work things out in his head.
...Even if it didn't work out, he reasoned, at least they would have tried. They had gone their whole lives without really trying, just scraping by on the easiest thing that was offered to them, whatever took the least amount of effort to attain. Which, although it had worked at the time, was really no way to live. People weren't built to take the easy way out. They were built to endure, to push the limits of what they could and couldn't do and constantly prove themselves and everyone else wrong, even if it killed them.
Yes, he was painfully aware of just how fragile their new lives were, of how easily they could turn over their newly turned leaves and go right back to the way they were. But even if it didn't work out, even if it all blew up in their faces and life mocked their petty attempts at change, they would try. Even if it landed them in jail they would try. Because their true failures didn't really center around the fact that they lived poorly and made bad decisions, it was that, up until now, they never really tried to get anything better, to be anything better for themselves. But that would end now. It would all end. Because for the first time in their lives, they were actually going to try. He and his brother both.
Yes.
Things would be better.
He would make sure of it.
A/N: Sorry it was kinda short, but this was hard to get outta me. Carol will make an appearance in the next chapter, for those who want to know. Can't say when I'll update again, but I do plan on getting this finished before the year ends. I hate when fanfictions are years in the making DX
Feel free to leave a review; I'll pm you back if you've got an account!
'Til next time!