CHAPTER 6 – Falling In Love

Laura woke up hoping that Taylor would still be there with her. She knew it was a long shot after everything that had happened but she still hoped anyway. Of everything that she was feeling right now, that was the only emotion she allowed herself to feel. She didn't understand why because it was such a dangerous feeling, but maybe, just maybe, it was what was keeping her sane right now.

She slowly opened her eyes and since her blinds were down, she couldn't immediately tell what time it was. She looked at the clock beside her and it read 7:43pm. She'd been asleep for almost eight hours.

She looked around her room and she was alone. Of course, Taylor had already left. What would she stay for, anyway? It would be a snooze fest to just stay there and watch her sleep.

As much as she hated to admit it, she was disappointed. She really thought she'd stay.

She tried sitting up and was surprised that she felt a lot better. Her head was still a little heavy, probably from too much sleeping but she didn't feel wobbly anymore. Then she felt her stomach grumble. She hadn't eaten in eight hours. She knew she had to get up and have something to eat. She needed to get her strength back. Her bed was sucking the life out of her.

Just as she was standing up, she tried to recall everything that had happened earlier today... Taylor coming into her house unannounced, getting all mad and worried. It made Laura smile thinking how Taylor was so concerned of her. She felt warmth spread all over her chest and once again, she thought of why she'd fallen in love with her in the first place. Taylor was sweet, and kind and beautiful, inside and out. She shouldn't be wondering why.

She then remembered Taylor helping her to bed and putting blanket all over her. What came after that was a little fuzzy, though. It was that time when the medicine she took started to kick in so it was a little hard remembering what else happened afterwards.

But then, she did remember. And she suddenly felt lightheaded as she recalled the last thing she told her before everything went black.

"I love you, Taylor."

"Fuck, I really did say those words," she told herself as she slumped back to bed and put her pillow all over her face. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" she had continuosly screamed a little too loudly. She felt embarrassed. She's never been that open with her feelings to anyone and it somehow made her feel vulnerable that she had just been exactly like that to Taylor. She then wanted to just disappear or go back in time and not say those words. No wonder Taylor had left. She'd probably scared her away.

All of a sudden, she heard a hustling sound just outside her door. She removed the pillow from her face and listened closely. Someone was outside. And it seemed as if that person was running. Then her door opened.

"What happened? Are you okay? Is something wrong?" Taylor was breathing heavily as she rushed to Laura's side. "Laura, you gotta say something." Taylor looked so concerned, probably because Laura seemed unable to move. She heard a scream and without thinking, she ran upstairs to Laura's room.

"You're here," said Laura softly as a smile was starting to form on her lips. She had forgotten why she was screaming.

"Yes, I am. And I heard you yelling so I rushed here. I thought something happened to you or something." She put the back of her palm on Laura's forehead then on her neck to see if she was still hot. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt that her temperature was back to normal.

"You're really here!" This time, Laura was really beaming. She'd totally forgotten about what was making her anxious just a while ago and all she felt at that time was pure delight that Taylor was there. She didn't leave her. And then not thinking about anything else, she hugged her so tightly that Taylor laughed.

"Yes, I'm here, honey." She hugged her back. "I'm not going anywhere," she said just as she kissed the side Laura's head.

Laura was the one who broke the hug.

"Why, did you think I was gonna leave you like this? What kind of person do you think I am?" Taylor faked a hurt look.

Laura shrugged. "I just... I thought..."

"You thought what?" She was smiling. She missed seeing Laura this happy.

"Never mind. Just..." Laura leaned in and hugged Taylor again. This time, she didn't care what Taylor would think. The only thing that mattered was that the woman she loved was here with her and she wanted to make her feel how much she loved her, and how grateful she was for her. "Thank you so much... for not leaving me."

Taylor felt happy that Laura wasn't trying to push her away anymore. That was a start. "You know I'd do anything for you."

-o-o-o-

Taylor and Laura ate a while later. It turned out that the blonde was making dinner when the latter woke up. Afterwards, Laura took a shower. She came out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around her. Taylor was lying on her bed, watching television.

"Wow, looking hot there, Prepon!" exclaimed Taylor as she turned off the television.

"Shut up," Laura chuckled. "Why did you turn it off?" She motioned her head towards the television.

"Well, I think I prefer watching this," answered Taylor as she faced Laura.

"Ha ha, very funny," Laura turned around so she could hide the smile slowly forming on her lips.

"What? I'm serious. I never forget, you know. Remember that time when you changed my clothes and saw me naked?"

"How can I forget? You were so drunk you called me Alex."

"Oh well, that," Taylor kept herself from laughing. "You still saw me naked. It's payback time, Prepon."

"Whoah. Easy there, tiger. Haven't you seen me naked already? Now you want more? Didn't know you could be so greedy, girl." This time Laura was grinning. "And what are you last-naming me for, anyways?"

"What, Tasha calls you that. Why can't I?"

"Well, I like it when you call me by my first name. It feels more... intimate." She suddenly felt so relieved that she had her back on her because if not, she would've seen her blush like an idiot. She started removing her towel but remembered that Taylor was still looking. She looked back at her. "Okay, game's over, Schilling. Turn around. I really need to change now. I'm freezing."

"Okay..." Taylor put her hands up as if surrendering, "...Laura." She obliged and did as she was told.

Laura turned her back on Taylor again. There was something with the way she said her name, and Laura did not miss that. She wasn't sure if she got it right but it felt like Taylor was flirting with her. It couldn't be possible, though. As far as she knew, Taylor was straight. She only treated her like a friend. Just by thinking that, she felt a twinge in her chest.

She was about to remove her towel when she felt movement behind her. She almost dropped it when she turned around and saw Taylor there, just inches from her. "Good god, Taylor! Are you trying to kill me?"

"No," Taylor playfully smirked as she took another step closer to Laura.

Laura meanwhile took a step back. "Then what are you doing sneaking up on me like that?" Her heart was beating so fast because she could almost feel Taylor's hot breath on her.

"Sorry, was just about to go to the bathroom," said Taylor with a straight face. She started walking away from Laura towards the bathroom without taking her eyes off of her. And just before she put her gaze away, Taylor smiled at her, not the innocent, sweet smile that Laura's used to. It was different. And as much as Laura wanted to ignore it, that smile was already etched in her brain.

-o-o-o-

It was almost midnight when Laura and Taylor decided to go to bed. No matter how much Laura insisted that she already felt better, Taylor was adamant that she should stay in case Laura got sick again. This time, the blonde stayed in Laura's guest room.

It had only been hours since Laura woke up which was why she couldn't sleep. All her senses were still very much awake so she just decided to grab a book and started reading. A few pages later, she knew she was just wasting her time because she couldn't understand a word of it.

Her mind was elsewhere. She was thinking of Taylor, of how much things have changed and how much they haven't. She was glad that their friendship wasn't affected and that Taylor didn't treat her differently.

However, that was also a problem, because she wasn't treating her any differently. She knew, from the very beginning, that this feeling of hers wasn't going anywhere. It was gonna stay just as that, a feeling... that wasn't going to be reciprocated. She thought that all she needed to do was just to stay away from Taylor, so she wouldn't be hurt as much. But that wasn't an option now. She couldn't just take Taylor out of her life, as Taylor wasn't doing the same thing to her.

Now she just had to find another way to deal with her love for her.

But then she remembered how Taylor was acting a while ago and it somehow confused her. She didn't know whether to feel good or bad. If Taylor was indeed flirting with her, was it supposed to be a good sign that there may be a chance for both of them?

Or what if she was just doing that to make her feel better? Taylor was kind-hearted and Laura knew that she would do anything not to hurt her. So she decided that it was not a good thing. She didn't want Taylor to humor her. She would rather have her hurt her with the truth, than make her hope for nothing.

-o-o-o-

It had been half an hour since Taylor went to bed but she was still up. She was just lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking. Whenever she would try to close her eyes, Laura's face would pop up. She thought of how seeing her friend so vulnerable a while ago made her feel. That fear that you get when you feel like you're about to lose someone, that's what she had. She was so scared, like she had never been before.

She also thought of how much she missed her during those times when she couldn't talk to her or see her. Of how much she's always looked forward to those days when she knew she was gonna see her. And how much she hated it when it was time for them to part ways. She thought of how Laura's smile made her feel better. Like it was a thing she wouldn't want to live without. She could also hear Laura's laugh in her ear. She had the best laugh in the world and it was always such a pleasant sound.

She tried recalling any other time she's felt like that towards another friend of hers, because she's always thought that that's how you're supposed to feel towards your friend, but she couldn't. And now that she's had time to think about it, she understood why. Because those feelings weren't made to be felt towards friends, they're for people who are way more than that.

-o-o-o-

Laura was about to put off her lamp when she heard a soft knock on her door. She looked at her clock and it was one a.m. She wondered why Taylor was still up as she made her way to the door. "Taylor?"

"Hey. Can I come in?"

"Of course!"

She went inside. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, I couldn't sleep. Why? Is everything okay?" Both did not feel the need to sit down.

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep, too."

"Oh." There were a few minutes of uncomfortable silence as both didn't know what to say next. "Uhm, wanna sleep with me?" Laura then realized what she said. "I mean, not in that way. I meant..."

"Laura." Taylor touched Laura's face causing the latter to be lost for words. "It's okay. I know what you meant," she smiled. They were staring at each other and for a moment, they held each other's gaze. "I just..." she cleared her throat. "I just have to do something."

"Do what?" asked Laura, still staring at Taylor's eyes.

"This."

Laura then saw Taylor's gaze go down a bit and she knew she was now looking at her lips. Then ever so slowly, she inched her face closer to her and Laura felt her own heart stop beating. They were now breathing the same air as Taylor stared back at her eyes. And before Laura could even blink, she felt Taylor's lips on hers.