"Ir abelas" He whispered, stroking her hair softly as she struggled less and less. "Ir abelas, ma vhenan." He could feel the her fighting, he knew that pain. How many times had he come close to her, watching her from a far. She still burned brightly in the Fade, she still pulled him from his task. "Ir tel'him" She knew the meaning, but who living today knew truly what that meant. Who was Fen'Harel, who was the man behind the legends, this man who started the Blights by betraying the gods.
"Ma emma vhenan'ara." She whispered, inwardly cursing her own emotions, shivering in his arms as she tried her best to hate him for what he was; liar, betrayer, god, man, lover, scholar, wanderer, heartbreaker. And yet she could not more hate him than she could hate her child born of him.
"Ma emma sa'lath." He replied, and she felt the tears flow faster as he held her there, her hands going around him as she gripped him so hard he smiled. "Vaeila." He gently pulled her away, touching her cheek as he whipped away the tears, those brown eyes reflecting his own loneliness and pain, and he admired the faint flickering of hope and trust that lingered there. He leaned in, softly touching his lips to hers and he felt her shiver, her lips quivering as she returned the kiss hesitantly.
It did not take long for the kiss to reflect their passions, yet she still was forcing herself to hold back and he felt the rush of guilt for making her afraid. For that is what it was, fear of hurt, fear of being thrown away again and fear of what he now was – or what he had returned to be. Slowly, he let his hands run over the slender curves of her body; a moment he had only been able to recall and ache for. She felt the same, and yet different; she had trained harder and longer and her body reflected that dedication, but there was something else.
When his fingers grazed her chest, she hissed in pain – a sound he had heard her make on the battle field far too often not to recognize. He pulled away, looking at her with an odd unreadable expression.
"Ir annala for ros…" She whispered and he nodded softly, not forgetting the issue that had just arisen.
"And yet you found it." He spoke, tilting his head as he frowned softly at her. 'Are you hurt, ma vhenan?" He whispered, touching her face softly once more as he kept one arm firmly around her. She could feel the power shifting in him, watching him as he was thinking – and she did not know if she could successfully lie to him about why her chest would be sore. She inwardly rebuked her self for not feeing the baby right before she came, it would have given her a few more hours before her breasts really started to hurt severely again – especially in the armour.
"No." She said, not blinking or letting her voice waver.
"Are you so afraid of me that you would lie?" He whispered, and she closed her eyes and shook her head.
"For no such reason." She replied, placing a hand on his chest. "I bare no injuries of late."
"For that I am glad." He replied, watching her as she bit her bottom lip as she looked away. "Ma vhenan –
"What….what am I to call you?" She whispered, the ache of pain etched into her voice as she spoke. "Perhaps this is all a dream, like it always is – where I wake alone to hear the b…" She sighed, covering her face with her free hand. "I don't know what to believe."
"I am real, ma vhenan." He said softly, his mind travelling through all the possibilities. "This is no dream." He pulled her close to his chest again, letting her head rest just above his heart. "Listen, this can not lie to you." She closed her eyes, feeling his hand on hers as he lifted her left hand up, entwining their fingers as he hummed a soft song that stung in her heart. He had hummed it when he thought she was asleep, and she had hummed it to their child.
"I did not come alone." She whispered, and he nodded but kept humming, holding her close until she stopped shaking. Eventually she did let go of the breath she was holding, closing her eyes as she listened to his heart beat, steady as it ever was – a closeness that reminded her of times long past. "Mana." He stopped as she shifted, taking control of her hands as she separated from him entirely, a strange cloudy calm to her eyes. "Ma melava halani. I could always could on you for that."
"Vaelia." He said, touching her face as she closed her eyes as the feeling of his warmth. "I have so much to tell you, so much to explain, ma vhenan. I can not ask that you forgive me, just that you listen."
"Ma'arlath…. tel'abelas….and I never will be, not for loving you.' She whispered. "I am trying, very hard to understand what little I already know, but I will listen – but you must promise me something."
"Ma vhenan." He said softly, and she opened her eyes, meeting his with a pained expression.
"Never to lie to me again." The words were soft and steely and she saw the wavering expression in his eyes as he saw the unwavering look reflected in hers.
"I will not, ma vhenan." He said, a decision made in his mind. The pain of being separated was nothing to the thought of having her gone forever, never again to kiss her lips or touch her face. "Will you promise the same?"
"Yes." The words came out slowly, as if guilt and regret already formed in the air they had been spoken in.
"Are you hurt, Vaeila." He asked once more, his voice harder and she shook her head. "What causes you pain?" He rephrased and saw her face drop as she touch his hand with her own, a single tear falling from her face.
"I couldn't cope when you left, I could not feel the sunshine nor taste food." Her voice was a whisper, and she touched her chest lightly as she spoke. "Never have I known such an ache, such …. loneliness. No one stayed, except Cole and Sera, and I didn't care. I wanted to die, to dissolve into nothing so I could stop the pain."
The god closed his eyes and nodded slowly, he knew all too well the feeling she was describing. He had felt like his strength had waned, despite finding a source of power to restore his magic to what it was before. The elements meant nothing, the Fade seemed darker; he missed her more than words could express. There had been a time where his focus had been so clear, an endless dream of wandering. "I was in a dream - the uthenera, for many years I slept in peace. I never imagined the thing that would wake would be…..a woman, a girl really. You shone so brightly, long before you got the mark. Your skill in magic was so strong, and you showed such strength within you." He shook his head, his own guilt flooded his mind.
"How could I have known you would be at the Conclave, the one to drive out an evil I helped cause?" He opened his eyes to meet her own, watching as she reached out to touch his face, the warm on his skin and a soft understanding smile. "I was weak and afraid, and alone. Yet there you were, the girl – a girl I cared for - I had watched from the Fade dying because of me – and then; you woke. You were frightened, yes, but – the way you looked at me at our first meeting – I almost thought you knew me, as if –
"I did, but I couldn't explain it. I just assumed it was because you had been trying to heal me." She whispered.
"You alone brought me out of the Fade, out of darkness. But I could not forget…forget what I must do….nor could I forget you, ma vhenan. I had all these speeches planned, things to make you understand, but not to forgive - I"
"Not everyone will forgive you, Sol- Fen'Harel." She said, and he chuckled wryly as he watched her stand, walking as she put her hands on her hips, the emotion and power between them overwhelming. "I made a promise, do you remember?"
"You swore to protect me from Cassandra." He said, remembering the look on her face, and feeling of true surprise at her sincerity.
"I promised to protect you Fen'Harel. And I will." He stood then, walking over to her as he put his hands on either side of her face, kissing her softly. "But there is someone else I must protect also." She whispered, and he titled his head as she stepped back. "It was in the middle of this darkness that I learn…learned - " She couldn't find the words and she reached for his hand and held it tight, and he watched as her eyes started brimming with tears. "I learned I carried something so much greater than the mark." She whispered, and he narrowed his eyes as she searched his eyes for what he was feeling, while he searched hers for a hint of what she meant. "You…. have a son."
He stiffened, something unseen moved in him; was this the reason so many spirits had clouded around her, as if they had swarmed to protect and distort his view of her. He should have known. He shook his head as she fought back the tears, covering her mouth as she watched his reaction – seeing him step closer. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close as he closed his eyes. "We have a son."