I have been listening to way too much Disney. The songs belongs to World of Thedas: Volume 2 and Disney, respectively.
"We have a son."
"I can hear him crying."
"But I left him with…
"Go to him, Vaeila."
I don't understand, I love you.
Ma vhenan, I never meant to hurt you.
She opened her eyes to the darkness, and she sat up sluggishly and slowly; as if a weight was on her chest. Her head was fuzzy and throbbed like a misused toy. The cry of a child echoed throughout and she ran her fingers through her hair. Stone walls. The sigh that escaped her was heavy and weary. "A dream?" She wished she could feel the emotions as she got up. As magic glowed on her hand, she walked over to the crib. "Just…. a dream."
Vaeila watched as her baby responded happily to her hand, watching her with big green eyes. "It was so real this time…I thought…Oh Alathen." She whispered her child's name. "How strange your mother's dreams have been, ma'arlath." She gently picked up the child, making sure he was swaddled in his blanket as she held him close.
Ever since she had received word of the Grey Warden's whereabouts her dreams had become stranger, ever since she knew she must send her son away – each time her mind had brought her to a fantasy, each time the Warden was there – but each time her image changed like she was molded by the Fade. Many times she dreamt of Solas, yet not as himself – as Fen'Harel; the Dread Wolf. More like nightmares. She thought. Each one was different; different place, sometimes ever a different time as if a long forgotten memory was what she was experiencing.
As she smiled softly down at her baby as he started to cry once more, he stopped as he smiled up at her - making a small sound and she touched his cheek with a finger. "What is it, ma'arlath? Do you want a song?" The baby giggled, taking a hold of his mother's finger as she started to sway as she hummed.
"Elgara vallas, da'len,
Melava somniar,
mala tara aravas,
ara ma'desen melar."
She shut her eyes as she sang, a pang in her heart – Solas would never have sung a dalish lullaby to his child. "Iras ma ghilas, da'len,
Ara ma'nedan ashir,
Dirthara lothlenan'as,
bal emma mala dir."
She sang softly, kissing her baby between breathes as she tried not to remember. "Tel'enfenim, da'len,
irassal ma ghilas,
ma gares mir renan,
Ara ma'althlan vhenas. Ara ma'athlan vhenas."
The baby's yawned sleepily as she swayed around the room, a different tune stuck in the back her head. She approached the balcony slowly, careful not to go too far into the moonlight as to disrupt her
"I know you," She started, softly "I walked with you …..once upon a dream." She remembered the first time in a Fade, his touch was as real as her dream tonight, when he watched her, saying how he felt the whole world change. She had kissed him then, impulsively, softly – and he….
"I know you, that gleam I your eyes is so familiar a gleam." His smile, the way he touched the lines on her back as she drifted off to sleep, or when he wrapped his arms around her as they sat by the fire reading. The small of paint and pine, mixed with the faint meld of herbs had also comforted her in the middle of her nightmares about what had passed. The dead faces covered in red lyruim…
"And I know it's true, that visions are seldom what they seem." She felt the tear run down her face as the dream was so vivid in her mind, his touch and smile, his despair and love….a vision, a wish; that was all. She felt within her heart that she knew him, and she pined for him silently as the world turned on.
"But if I know you, I know what you'll do." But did she? Would he react like the man from her dreams? He had lied to her, who knew how many times, who was to say love was not a lie too. In her dream she had tried to be strong, to push him away and warn him of his crimes – but he had only wanted her forgiveness. She had not shouted nor tried to hurt him, she wanted his warmth and comfort. This dangerous dream, what would she give to relive it again and again – what would she give to remain frozen there.
"You'll love me at once….. the way you did once…. upon a dream." She came back from the window, walking her sleeping baby to his crib and putting him down softly. As she placed him down, she hummed the sound in her throat as words were difficult as she imagined more of him. He would love you so, she thought as the baby stretched out in his sleepy state. "But if I know you, I know what you'll do…. you'll love me at once….. they way you did once….. upon a dream."
Backing away from the crib when he was settled, she walked over to the balcony as she wrapped her arms around herself as a wolf's howl echoed in the mountain, the sound chilling her to the bone as the smell of pine wafted through the room. In that moment she could almost feel his arms around her, his whispering ma vhenan in her ear like it was a feather on the wind.
And like that, it was gone. She opened her eyes, she did not remember closing them. " Ar lasa maka revas." She whispered to the wind, hoping it carried to him. "I will never love again." The weight of those words as she spoke them, finally after so long the admittance of the truth – she would love him, and only him, until the end. "I suppose it is true what the Keeper told me; telanadas da'len." Vaeila mused as she leaned against the doorway. "Nothing is inevitable."