PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73

Thanks to the bro/sis above for reviewing, that shit makes my heart do acrobatic fucking pirouettes. Merry Christmas all, and to all a bitchtits night.

You're still Dave Fucking Strider and you have been issued a challenge.

The challenge: to be the most ironic flirt…

Score is 1:1 you and Dirk.

Game on.

I sat on the bed with him watching the movie and saw he was still in still in his dress. "You gonna be in drag all day?"

"Meh. Does it bother you?" He glanced at me, but I faced forward.

"Nah, just thinking back on it, I guess you're still princess." I smirk

"You're just jealous I'm way cuter than you." He shot back

"Bullshit, I'm kawaii as balls."

"Don't think balls are that kawaii." He laughed

"Fuck you."

"Right now?" He asked. Shit 2:1 Dirk…

"As long as you keep the dress on." I smirk, yeeees, 2:2.

"Think I'd rather it off." He touched my arm and I glanced at him, face straight save for a telltale corner up...

"Think I feel the same." I turned toward him.

"Hey lil' man, we're out. You got school tomorrow." Bro's voice rang out. I sighed and pulled my shirt on.

"Kay Bro." I turn to Dirk, "See you tomorrow then?" I ask

"Guess so…" He replied, and pulled his own dress off. "Unless I'm in your dreams Dave."

"Oh dude, you're in my dreams, all of them." I nod and stroll out, swaying my hips a little. I feel a flash go by and I check my pocket, in orange ink on a piece of My Little Pony paper is timaeusTestified. I pocket the paper and smile a bit, before wiping my face clean. "Hey Bro, ready." I nod

"Cool, Roxy, Rose we're out. Catch you tomorrow." Bro nodded

"Buh baiii Bru an Dabe!" Roxy yelled

"I will see you on the morrow Dave." Rose smiled

"Peace out Lalondes." I thumbs up and catch a fingerless gloved hand shoot out from the hallway with the same thumbs up. Dirk got me with the dream comment, but I'll get him back.

"See ya." Bro smirked and we walked toward the stairs, "so little man… how'd you get on with Dirk."

"S'okay, think he issued a challenge." I shrug

"You gonna play?"

"I'm gonna win."

"Damn straight." Bro nods before he unlocks our door, I step in and good gog not again.

FUCKING

PLUSH

RUMP.

"Roxy must've opened the boxes labeled 'Fragile'" Bro smirked

"Fuuuuuck. I'm going to bed." I head toward the room I dibs on in the virtual tour and found my bed, and furniture all in the middle of the room, and all the boxes of my shit I marked with red tape. "Cool" I stripped off my shirt again and noted my window had the fire escape by it too. I turned my phone on tp pesterchum and sent a quick message to Dirk

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]at 10:37 PM

TG: night dude

TT: Goodnight man, sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

TG: dude if they bit me theyd be all oh shit this dudes delicious and then id have a wicked infestation on hand

TT: Heh, right. Have some good dreams about me. See you in the morning.

TG: kay

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]at 10:42 PM

I tossed my phone and shades onto the ground by the bed and spun over; drifting off into my totally rad subconscious.

*\/*

"Relax dude." He breathed on my neck. I gasped as his hands trailed over my chest, before straying to my nipples to mess with like he's trying to draw Da Vinci on an etch-a-sketch.

"Dirk…" I moan, he smirks against my neck and lifts his head up some.

"I said not to rush perfection." He leans in to kiss me, "Mmm, you're like a fucking angel…" His lips press on mine and his hands trail down my torso going to the waistband of my pants. The zipper comes down and he looks at me. "Dave…"

"What?" I groan

"Wake up"

*\/*

"Huh?" I grunt as something shakes me. Shit… Bro. Hide the boner… I'm on my stomach, cool. "Whatd'ya want Bro?" I groan

"Get up you little shit, school day for you and I'm ollying out. Have a rad day lil' man." Bro smirked at me. I nod and give him a thumbs up. I hear the door close and I know I'm good.

I open my eyes and turn around; Lil Cal's just chilling at the end of my bed. "Fuck…" I give it a fist bump, grab my shades and walk to the bathroom, glad Bro's left… seeing as I'm… in a jam. I turn the shower on and brush my teeth. I step in thankful for the water's awesome magic on waking me up, and making little me go back to sleep. No time for this shit. I wash up and grab my red towel. I step out and put my shades on and check the mirror now. Hair looks good, shades in place, looking cool. I nod to my reflection and leave towards my room. I slip on some crow boxers and red skinny jeans. I throw on my broken record shirt and grab my gear printed backpack and red flamed headphones. I go to the kitchen and grab the money Bro left. Shit my phone. I totally meant to go back to my room. I stepped over or kicked the smuppets out of my way and opened my door again. I bent down and grabbed my phone, I hear a knocking sound at my window. I look up and smirk. I wave Dirk in.

"Morning" He nods

"Doors not cool today?" I joke

"Nah, brought you breakfast, figured you didn't have shit." He tossed me some smores pop tarts and I caught them.

"Fuck yeah, cool." I nod at him and unwrap that shit. I bite into it and try not to look at him too much after the dream I had.

"You alright?" He noticed, shiiiiiiit!

"Yeah man, I'm just totally basking in the culinary awesome of pop tarts. 5 star cuisine right here." I bite into it again and he flashes toward me.

"Really?" He leans forward and bites off the end of the piece in my mouth. He flicks his tongue out and chews, finally he nods and smirks at my silence. My face is stone, but he sees something because he licks his lips slowly and says, "Yeah, that's a breakfast of champs right there." He turns around and flash steps through the window to the fire escape, "I'll be back with Rose in a few… we're giving you a ride to school." He then leaves me there with pop tart in my mouth and I feel my face finally move. I sit on my bed and look at the pop tart.

That's 3:2 Dirk and he's stepped up the difficulty level…

Fuck.