Chapter 20 – Home Is Where The Heart Is

It wasn't usual for Taylor to miss work, even if she was sick or there was something important that came up. She valued her work so much that she wanted to give her all to the job that had given her so much. If she had no other choice but to miss it, she would call Jenji to let her know and make up for it as soon as she could.

But when she woke up that day, a day that she was supposed to have a table read for the next episode of OITNB with the rest of the cast, she had no desire to leave her bed or even move at all. She did not reach for her phone to tell anyone that she couldn't make it to work. She wasn't planning on talking to anyone today, or the next few days, however long she needed to get her shit back together.

After about an hour after she was supposed to be at Jenji's office, she had about 20 missed calls and a ton of text messages from people she didn't bother to know who. She wasn't sure if Laura had already told them about what happened, but knowing her, she probably still had not. She didn't really care. She was void of all emotions.

She had spent the past two days crying, and thinking of how to get over this damn thing. And she was exhausted. She wanted it to stop... the pain that was eating her up. She just wanted to curl up all day and tune out the rest of the world from her.

When her phone had rung again, then again, then again, she got so pissed that she took it and answered it without bothering to see who was calling. "You know, when someone doesn't pick up, it kind of means she doesn't want to talk," she said, annoyed.

"Hey, Taylor?"

When Taylor realized who had called her, she suddenly felt bad that she had snapped at her. It was Uzo. "H-hey, Uzo. Hi. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay. What happened? Why didn't you come to work today? Laura isn't here, too. Did something happen between you two?" Uzo said without any pauses.

Taylor was surprised to know that Laura didn't go to work, too. Like her, she never missed work. "Uhh, nothing. Everything's fine."

"I know it isn't." If there was another person that knew her enough, it was Uzo. "Look, I'll just tell Jenji that you're sick so you missed work today, okay? I'll come to your house after this is over. We'll talk about whatever's happening to you."

She felt grateful that Uzo was concerned about her but Taylor really wasn't in the mood to talk today. And she wasn't ready to recall everything that had happened yet. It was too painful and she didn't want to feel the pain again, even just for today.

"Uzo... thank you. I appreciate it. But I'd really like to be alone today. I hope you understand."

Uzo kept quiet at the other end of the line for about a second before deciding to let Taylor be. "All right. But if you need anything, you can just give me a call, okay?"

"Yes. Thank you. Love you. Bye."

Just as Taylor was supposed to put her phone down, it had started ringing again. It was her mom. She considered ignoring the call but decided against it.

"Mom..."

"Taylor, can you come over please?"

"I can't, Mom." Taylor knew she should know better than to go to her Mom's place today. She didn't need any more drama than she already had. "I have work today."

"But you're always working. I can't even remember the last time I saw you."

"You don't remember because you don't really pay attention." Taylor rolled her eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing, Ma. What do you want me to do? Leave my work to go see you? There are other days. I'll just come visit you then. Just, not now. I've got a lot going on."

"Yes, but on those days, you spend your time with your girlfriend and her family. What about me? I haven't even met her yet. I'd like to know her."

Taylor found it ironic that her mom suddenly had an interest in Laura when they weren't together anymore. But she didn't wanna tell her that. She wouldn't understand anyway. "Mom, I really can't."

"Taylor, honey. Please?"

She wanted to keep saying no. But then she realized that maybe it was better to go visit her mom. Maybe it would keep her mind off things right now. Her mom was probably gonna replace them with some other things that'd drive her insane but she could handle that a lot better than what she's going through with Laura right now. She then sighed. "Fine. I'll go."

-o-o-o-

Taylor arrived at her Mom's place a few hours later. "Is Sam here?"

"He was here a few days ago. I don't know when he'd be back, though. Did you eat? I prepared something."

"Not starving, Mom. I'm gonna go to my bed, okay?"

Patricia noticed that Taylor was different today. She knew her daughter had never been really excited about being here every time she was. She didn't blame her, though. It was her fault that Taylor was never close to her. But she had tried reaching out, and failed all the time... until she just stopped.

"Taylor, you're rarely here. And when you do come, all you do is stay in your bed. I prepared something to eat, and I'd really want you to join me."

Taylor had no strength to argue with her mother today so she sighed and said, "Fine. I'm just gonna go freshen up for a bit then I'll come down."

She went inside her room and slumped down on her bed. She snapped her eyes shut but even then, she still saw Laura. She opened her eyes again. It was killing her how much she missed her. Absentmindedly, she held on to the necklace she was wearing. This was the gift Laura gave her last Christmas. They were still so happy back then. Now, that was all just a blur.

Before she realized it, tears were rolling down her cheeks again.

She abruptly stood up, and wiped the tears away, quite hardly. She wasn't going to cry anymore. This was the last time. So she breathed deeply, and stood up. Then, as if it was the only thing that was keeping her back, that was keeping her from finally leaving everything behind, she took the necklace off.

Now, it was time to face her mother.

-o-o-o-

They were eating and having conversation... if you could call that a conversation. Patricia would ask a question and then Taylor would answer and that was it. She had no plans of keeping the conversation going. She just wanted to finish her food then go straight to bed and stay there all day.

But her mom had other plans. "So, how are you and your girlfriend? What was her name again, Laura?"

At the mention of Laura's name, Taylor had suddenly lost her appetite. But as she had sworn to herself she wasn't going to talk about this with anyone. And even if she would, her mom would still be an exception. "We're fine."

"Why didn't you bring her today? I wanted to meet her." Taylor did not answer. Instead, she kept putting food in her mouth, just to have a reason not to talk. "Well. I mean, it wouldn't make any difference anyway." Taylor just looked at her, raised her eyebrows as if asking 'why?' "There's really no point in meeting her, I think. It's not like this is a serious relationship. I mean, she's a woman for crying out loud!"

At this point, Taylor felt rage starting to consume her. "Really mom? You decide to be a homophobic now?"

"That's not my point, Taylor. I have no problem with gay people. I love them. My problem is my daughter who thinks she's in love with one of them when clearly, this is just a phase." Patricia said this as if it wasn't a big deal, which pissed Taylor even more.

"You think this is a phase?! Wow, you really know me so well, huh," Taylor said back, with a mocking tone.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Come on, what life is there for you both in the future anyway? What, you're just gonna have 'fun' your whole life? Whatever 'fun' means to you? I know you, Taylor. You want your own kids and a husband and your normal family. She's not gonna be able to give those to you."

Taylor stood up. She wasn't in the mood to be in this right now. She was too overwhelmed with her emotions that she knew she was gonna explode if she was gonna add this to everything that was screwing her up right now. Maybe it was a mistake to think that coming here was gonna make things better.

"You know what? I can't... I can't do this." She started walking away.

"Wait, but you haven't finished eating yet!"

"I've lost my appetite."

"Why, just because I told you the truth? That this relationship is not gonna work anyways? I'm just worried about you, Taylor. I don't want you to be in something that's just gonna hurt you in the end. She's just gonna hurt you, so you have to get out of it before it's too late."

Taylor stopped walking and she looked back at her mother. "You wanna know the truth? I don't have to get out of anything anymore because it's over! Are you happy now? We broke up, Mom! And yes, you're right. This is gonna hurt me in the end. It does! It's hurting me like fucking crazy because I fucking love her! More than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. And just so you know, that includes you. So congratulations, mother. You've finally gotten something right for the first time in your whole life as my mom." With that, she walked away.

-o-o-o-

Taylor had been crying inside her room for what felt like hours when someone knocked. She knew it was her mom so she didn't bother answering. But she had forgotten to lock the door so her mom had gotten in anyways.

"Taylor, honey, can we talk, please?"

"There's nothing to talk about. I wanna be alone. Please leave."

But instead of doing what she was told, Patricia sat at the edge of Taylor's bed. Even if she couldn't see her face, she knew that her daughter was crying. It had been a long time since she'd seen Taylor this vulnerable. She didn't realize that the person she thought was just an 'adventure' for her daughter was actually someone she really cared about, and loved.

"I'm sorry," she started. "I didn't know..."

"Yeah, what do you know, Mom?"

"I know that I am not in the position to give you any advice after everything that I have done to you... and failed to do for you. But I also know what it feels like to be left alone by the person you love the most. I've been there, honey. And it was the most painful thing I've ever had to go through. It felt like things were never going to be the same anymore, without him... without your father. I lost all the will to live." She paused, unsure if it was right to say what she was about to say. "Which is why I've also become the most terrible mother in the world." She smiled but it did not reach her eyes. Taylor still had her back on her but she knew she was listening. "This isn't going to be easy. But you're a strong woman. I know you're gonna go through this." She stood up and kissed Taylor on the head. "And you know what? People who are meant for each other always, always find a way to still be together in the end. Maybe you think this is a cliché but it's true." Then she made her way to the door. But before she went out, she gave Taylor one last glance. And as softly as she could, she whispered. "I love you, Taylor."

A/N:

So, first of all, thank you for anyone here who has read Oblivion and gave out reviews! I heart you, people. =)

moanzs, Hey, no cliffhanger again! I'm getting better at this. Haha. Yeah, sad chapters have to happen, unfortunately. Yeah of course I'll keep your suggestion in mind, thank you!

stargatejumper1, Maybe we'll get there, maybe we won't. Won't be giving out any spoilers. Haha. But I agree that Taylor and Laura are cute together! And hot!

Shepherdinha, Oh thank you! And the reason is her being kind of scared and all that stuff, but year, we'll get more into that. Thanks for the review!

sweetlikevanillais, *crosses fingers they come sooner* *wink wink*

jo michael, thank you for all the great reviews on every chapter. You're awesome!

FFChik, That is so true! Thank you very much =)

Guest from Amsterdam, Hi again! Maybe I can get a name next time? I love your reviews! =) Thank you very much! =)