Chapter 30 – Starting Over Again
Natasha had left a couple of minutes now but Taylor and Laura hadn't spoken a word to each other yet. They haven't even looked at each other's way. They both just stayed still, not knowing what to do next. The issue they'd been trying to avoid for as long as they could was now open and there was no choice but to face it. It was good while it lasted.
Laura then noticed how Taylor massaged her temples and remembered that she had too much to drink and needed to get home. "Hey..."
Taylor was surprised to hear Laura speak that her head immediately shot up to look at her. "Yeah?" She regretted this right at that second because she felt as if her chair started wobbling.
"You really should go home. Come on, I'll drive you."
Taylor shook her head. "No, I'll be fine. I can go home by myself." She stood up but felt the world spin that she almost fell. Thank god for the table beside her.
Laura smirked. "Yeah, I think you really can." She shook her head as she made her way towards Taylor. She could be really stubborn when she wanted to. "Come on." She was about to touch Taylor's arm to support her but Taylor jerked her arm away from her. "So we're back to that?" Laura sighed as she asked, sadly.
"No. I'm sorry. I just think... I think Natasha's right."
"I know, Taylor. But I'm not gonna have sex with you, okay? I'm just gonna bring you home."
Taylor smiled. "You're right. I'm sorry. Okay then. Let's go home."
Laura brought Taylor to her car and drove her home. The whole time, both of them stayed quiet, Laura tried focusing on the road, and Taylor just had her eyes shut. They weren't trying to ignore each other. They just both knew that it wasn't the right time to talk about what needed to be discussed between them.
They arrived at Taylor's place almost half an hour later. "We're here," Laura softly said as she woke Taylor. The blonde had not been able to fight off the heaviness of her eyelids as she had fallen asleep on their way here.
Taylor slowly opened her eyes, and looked out the window. "Oh, right." She sat up and then looked at Laura. "Thank you," she smiled a bit and started opening the car. "Good night."
Right before Taylor could get out of her car, she grasped her hand and look her in the eye. "Tay..."
Taylor looked at Laura's hand on her before staring back at her, "Yeah?"
"I'm sorry... for everything."
Taylor just smiled. "I know. I'm sorry, too."
-o-o-o-
Taylor woke up feeling like someone was pounding on her head. She tried sitting up but that only made matters worse because her room suddenly felt like it was spinning. Then that's when she noticed someone lying beside her. It was Laura with her back on her.
There was a blanket all over her and all she could see was her hair draped all over her bare shoulders. She tried remembering what happened last night, if something happened between her and Laura again, but couldn't remember anything. It was probably because it was still too early, the clock read 5:47am, for her mind to function properly. She looked underneath her own blanket and got even more confused when she noticed that she was fully clothed.
She felt her head wobble again so she just decided to go back to sleep and just settle this with Laura when they woke up.
Few hours later, Taylor woke up to a delicious-smelling scent whatever that was. She looked beside her and saw that Laura wasn't there anymore, so she figured she must have been the one cooking. She didn't know what to feel. This was the first time Laura was cooking for her, or them, again in a really long time and she didn't know if it was a good or bad idea.
She then went to the bathroom and did her morning rituals before joining Laura downstairs. "Good morning," Taylor greeted.
"Hey," said Laura, wearing an oversized shirt. Just a shirt.
Taylor thought she looked sexy as hell, but dismissed the thought as soon as it reached her mind.
"Sorry I crashed your kitchen. I thought you would need something to eat when you woke up so I just, you know."
"No, it's okay. That's actually a good idea. I'm starving." Taylor was still not sure why Laura was in her house when the last thing she remembered was her getting out of her car and going inside her place alone. She also wanted to ask whether something happened to them last night but didn't know how to bring it up. "Uhm... remind me why you're here again?" She saw Laura's eyebrows shot up as a smirk formed on her lips. "And I don't mean that in a bad way. I just... don't remember anything. Well, that's not entirely true. I remember you leaving."
Laura chuckled. "Yeah, I did leave. But I came back. I know you when you're drunk and you can be pretty... uncoordinated, so, you know, I figured I should just come back and help you." Taylor just kept nodding and Laura noticed how she seemed as if she wanted to ask more. "Do you have any other questions? Are you wondering how I got in? I still have your key, remember?"
"No, that's not it..." Taylor paused, not sure if it was a good idea to ask Laura about this.
"Then what is it?" asked Laura as she settled herself on the table. They both started eating.
"I woke up earlier today, and you were beside me... and you were... n-naked." She saw Laura's jaw drop and she wasn't sure why. "Not that it's a big deal, I mean, it's normal, we do that a lot... I just... I just don't know why I don't remember anything." It's Laura. She was good, no matter how drunk Taylor was, she would've remembered.
"I was naked? When was I ever naked?"
"Earlier. I saw you, you were beside me."
"Are you sure you weren't dreaming? I wasn't naked." Then Laura figured out why Taylor must have thought she was naked. She stood up then started lifting her shirt up, causing Taylor to stop her.
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Showing you that I wasn't naked earlier." She lifted her shirt up, revealing her in just her underwear, and beneath the shirt was a black tube top.
Seeing Laura's long, sexy legs kept Taylor's mind from immediately grasping what Laura was trying to show her. When she managed to keep herself together, she pieced two and two together. Laura was just wearing a tube top earlier. She wasn't naked. That's when she felt her face grow hot out of embarrassment. "Oh my god. I feel so stupid, I thought..." She ran her hands all over her face. "I'm sorry. It was really early and I thought—"
"Taylor," Laura cut her off. "It's okay. Don't worry about it." She was wearing this smile that that showed almost all her teeth. "I just can't believe you'd think I'd sexually assault you while you were unconscious," she then let out a laugh.
"Shut up! I already feel bad as it is."
"Sorry, I was kidding. Lighten up, girl." Laura said as she continued laughing.
"Why are you wearing an overly-sized shirt anyway? Where'd you get that?"
"From my bag," answered Laura, now looking as confused as Taylor was. "I didn't know how this got there, honestly. But thank God for it, I had something to sleep in last night."
"But you were just wearing a tube when I—what? I'm confused."
"Yeah, I removed it a few hours later when I started feeling hot."
It was Taylor's time to smirk. "You felt hot? While you were beside me?"
Laura chuckled. "It's not like that. Don't flatter yourself too much."
"Oh no, see I know I don't need to do that coz' you're kinda doing that yourself already."
"Oh, really?" asked Laura, smiling widely.
For a moment, they just stared into each other's eyes, exchanging smiles they haven't done in a long time. And that's when Taylor realized that this was the real them, not some crazy fuck buddies who would do it just for the sake of doing it. They were two people with a really deep connection that went beyond anything physical.
Taylor was the one who broke the exchange of stares when she bowed. When she looked back at Laura, she knew it was time to talk about an issue they'd been trying to dodge for quite a long time. "So... about last night..."
Laura lightly scratched the side of her head as she nodded. "I guess the time has finally come to talk about that, huh?"
"Yeah, or else Tasho's probably gonna kill us already," Taylor responded, still smiling despite the loud thumping in her heart.
There were probably a million times when she's thought of the consequences this 'friends with benefits' thing with Laura would bring up. And there were also as much times that she chose to ignore those thoughts, unable to face the reality of it all. Now, the reality was almost smacking her right in the face, and she could not just ignore it any longer.
"Natasha's right. We can't keep doing this. I mean, sure, it's fun. It's... you know. It's great and all, but we both know that at some point, it's either this is gonna bring us back together or it's gonna ruin us." Taylor paused, trying to memorize every detail on Laura's face, because there was a part of her that felt like this was gonna be the last time she could stare at her face like this. "And we know that it's not gonna be the former."
Laura nodded. "You're right." She smiled, but she knew that it wasn't an evidence of what she was feeling at that moment because she was suddenly feeling sad. She had seen this coming, and she thought that she had already prepared herself for this moment, but she was wrong. It felt like saying goodbye to Taylor for the hundredth time around.
Taylor did not know what else to say. She didn't realize this was gonna be harder than she expected it to be.
"But..." Laura spoke, "...how do we do this now? I mean, where do we go back from here? Do we start... ignoring each other again? Or... I don't know. What do we do now?" She almost wanted to beg Taylor not to say that they should go back to ignoring each other again, and was glad that she didn't. Because how pathetic would that be? If Taylor chose that, she had no right to keep her from doing so.
Taylor could not answer immediately. There was a part of her that wondered how they would go anywhere else from here. They had been a lot to each other, co-workers, friends, girlfriends, strangers, and as ridiculous as it seemed, friends with benefits. There was nothing to go forward to from those things, there was only going back. And she didn't know where to go back to.
But there was one thing that she was sure of. And that's the fact that she didn't want Laura out of her life. Whatever happened between them, no matter how crazy and painful they were, it just wasn't an option to completely ignore her again after this. And even if she wanted to, it still wouldn't be possible given that they worked together. Plus, she really didn't want to do that. She just couldn't.
"God, I hope not. I can't even imagine having to ignore you for the rest of time. I just... I can't do that. We've gone so far. I mean, we've worked things out, right? Ever since... you know. We can be friends... right?"
Laura almost sighed out of relief. "Definitely." She kept nodding, unsure what to feel at that moment, whether she should be happy that they were gonna stay friends, or disappointed that they were gonna stay friends. "So..." She stared at Taylor, and looking at her, she knew how she felt. She was happy... that she was gonna stay in her life, no matter what their relationship was gonna be. "Friends?"
Taylor smiled, not knowing that she was feeling the exact same thing Laura felt at that time. "Friends." And after a split second, she added. "Minus the benefits."
Laura chuckled at this. "Minus the benefits."
They then closed the gap between them and gave each other a hug. Somehow, they felt as if a something heavy was lifted off their chests.
Then they broke the hug.
Looking at each other's eyes, they knew they'd be fine.
A/N:
Yep, we've finally reached the 30th chapter! And I've also received exactly 200 reviews and I can't thank you guys enough for that. Virtual group hug! =)
And just a heads up, this fic only has 6 chapters left. I know some of you might be disappointed (or you already are) that this didn't involve too much Laylor fluff just like some of the other fics out there. I just really wanted to make a story that 'kind of' (maybe) shows the ups and downs of a relationship. I don't know if I was successful with that but hopefully I came close even just a little. Haha.
Please tell me what you guys think, it really helps me. Thank you! =)
Guest (who said this is his/her favourite), Thank you! That really means a lot =') I'm sorry for making you cry, though. Hope you stick with this story whatever happens on the last few chapters. =)
Ellen, Aww, that's really sweet. I tried to make Tasho the one to voice out what some (or probably most?) readers think of what's going on between Laura and Tay coz she seems like a really good friend of theirs (irl) Not that I know anything, lol. Yeah, well we can only imagine (the things that might have gone on or be going on between Laylor). And thank you for your review, it's really sweet. Much love, girl!
jo michael, You are lovely, as well! Your reviews are always so wonderful. You know what if we knew each other irl, I think we'd be great friends. Haha. Anyway, now they've made a decision, please don't hate me hahaha. And thank you! Your reviews are addicting, too! Have an awesome day, my friend!
moanzs, Thank you! I'm really glad you loved the previous chapter =) And yeah, Tasho is our queen, haha. BUT now, I don't know how you're gonna react to this chapter. *peace man*
Guest, Thank you! Hmm, be careful what you wish for. Lol. JK. =))
iamsober, Hi there! I'm sorry if you think that way (that this is biased towards Laura) I really didn't mean for this to seem like that. Anyway, thank you for your review! It'll really help me become a better writer (hopefully, lol) And don't worry, I'm not offended or anything. I'm actually thankful because despite all of that, you still read up until the last chapter (again, hopefully?) Haha. But seriously, thanks again! =)
Lily, I really hope they're not really ignoring each other irl. Maybe we just haven't seen their interactions but I'd like to think they still talk once in a while. But yeah, photos of them together wouldn't hurt, lol. And I can't wait for the premier, I hope we really do get Laylor interactions. Thank you!
Explosiosinthesky, A lot of people seem to be so surprised that Natasha's straight and Idk why. Haha. Here's your update, hope you like this one thank you!
Gabi, Thank you! I'm so happy that people are loving Natasha in this story. I love her to bits. Haha. Yeah, they do love drama (just like me, I guess) Love you back! xo 3
Marijn, Awww, now you're just spoiling me with your kind words *emoji with heart eyes* lol. Love you, girl! You're one of the best reviewers I've met here. I'm going to miss 'talking' to you when this one's over =( And wow, you're really good at guessing, huh? =)))
FFChik, Yeah, everyone really needs a friend like Tasho =) I'm sorry if the last chapter was frustrating. Well, now at least they've already decided on what to do with themselves? Thank you for your reviews, they're always so insightful =)
cranberries, Aww, sorry I didn't mean for Taylor to look pathetic here! I just really wanted to show how much she didn't want to give up on her relationship with Laura so easily and how hard it was for her to let her go as quickly. Anyway, thank you for your review. Don't worry, I think no more Taylor chasing Laura for a while. Lol.
SeriouslyAwesome, Please read your username to yourself because that really describes you well! Thank you for your review, hope you like this update =)