Chapter Seven: I'm Still Here
When Gerrik returned to the Queen's chambers she was sitting at a table she had near the balcony window. He had knocked and she'd permitted his entrance and all that. But he was not alone. He delivered the two fresh cups of glog and set them on the table for her as she absently looked out the window, and his companion said, "You know, I didn't expect him to actually do it."
The Queen turned to Gerda.
"Do what?"
"Sneak in. I figured he'd think about it, I didn't believe he would succeed."
Elsa's eye narrowed. "So you did arrange that."
"Arranged it? No. Implied it. . . maybe."
"You did put the idea in his head. Now I can't blame him for being stupid and shortsighted, only gullible. And that's not exactly a capital crime. Heavens know the royal family is prone to that vice." Gerrik had been unobtrusively leaving the room when the Queen added, "Sir." He turned at attention. Her clear blue eyes were so at odds with the scarlet of her dress. "Be at ease and sit down, please." He couldn't really do much about the first part, but as for the second he did as he was commanded. "Gerda, do you have any business here besides sowing discontent and undermining my resolve?"
She snorted, "Nope. I'm sure your bandages are fine," and left.
"What's the word in the barracks today?" Elsa asked, turning to Gerrik.
"Well, it's not today, but that man who was ranting by the docks was arrested in the market square. I hear it wasn't pretty, but not much more as far as details go."
"I heard that already. I asked Captain Kahv about it, and then met with Captain Herald to discuss his methods." She paused for a moment to think, then said, "Gerrik, you have earned my trust. Not many people have it, and because of that I'm at a loss when it comes to dealing with some of the nobility and the officials of Arendelle who should deserve it but don't. I'm finding that those under me often have plans and motives of their own. It's unsettling. I'm not making any promises, but if I were to appoint you as Captain of the City Guard what would you do?"
His throat constricted. Was she serious? "I- I'm not sure, Your Majesty. I would, er, try to handle the position to the best of my ability." What would he have to do as a guard captain? Write up patrols, appoint and monitor sergeants, handle all the problems that the men get into. On good days the Guard runs itself. On bad days. . . . "To be honest, Your Majesty, I don't envy Captain Harold. The discontent in the city is going to require increasingly difficult decisions if it grows into something more."
"Is there any indication that the situation might do so soon?"
"Not that I am aware of, no."
"Good. I have High Chancellor Urdea organizing the effort to get food where it's needed, hopefully that will buy us some time." She noticed his posture. "You can relax, Gerrik. I don't bite much. Have some warm glog, it's got to be freezing in here for you."
He drank and tried to let the tension drain from his muscles. "The cold doesn't bother me, Your Majesty, but there's something that has been on my mind. May I speak frankly?"
"You may."
"It is the royal guard's duty to protect the royal family. In this time of turmoil, our methods of doing so need constant revision. I believe that's why Captain Khav has increased the patrols and the royal wing has more of us than usual. With this in mind, it would be useful to know how your magic figures into your protection from danger."
"I see." Elsa was suddenly visibly less confident. She picked at the edges of the bandage on her arm. "I'm not sure where you're going with this, however."
"Well, I noticed earlier, when I- uh, interrupted, that in my split-second assessment of the situation the first concern that ran though my mind was if the stress was going to affect you and your magic. If there had been an attack and a real fight, would your guards be in danger of your ice? Could your ice in fact protect you more effectively than a sword in a uniform such as I? We can't be with you all the time, but your magic will always be there."
"Gerrik," the Queen said, not looking him in the eye. "I believe you are suggesting that I use my powers to harm and destroy rather than create. This isn't a concept I find appealing."
"It's not a pleasant topic, no. But I'm not just talking about harnessing it for war, I'm also talking about venting and controlling it's use. Let's continue with the hypothetical attack on you. I burst in here and engage the attacker. What happens to you while I fight? Does the situation trigger your powers?"
She was looking him in the eyes now, and Gerrik saw a touch of softness on her otherwise tightly controlled features. "How do you know so much about this, Sir?"
"Your Majesty, it's become rather well known that when you feel a strong emotion the magic comes closer to the surface. And a fight is the kind of situation where emotions flare. If anyone attacks you, they will likely take this into account. It would put your guard at a disadvantage if we are not properly prepared for these eventualities and your attacker is."
"So what should I do then, if I'm attacked? I don't want to hurt anyone. I've been trying not to for so long, I don't think I could bring myself to intentionally." She shivered then, something he had never seen and that seemed profoundly unnatural for some reason. Maybe it was because Gerrik knew it wasn't the chill in the air that was getting to her.
"Are you alright, Your Majesty?" She nodded dismissively. "How is your arm? It really does need a fresh bandage."
"Yes, I know. I'll need to call Gerda back soon. Hopefully she won't be as flippant as she was a few minutes ago."
"Heh. That's unlikely." That coaxed a chuckle from the Queen. For a moment he stopped to wonder at the fact that he had just made Elsa, the magical Snow Queen of Arendelle, chuckle. It almost made him forget what he had been talking about. "Your Majesty, I'm sorry that this isn't a pleasant subject. But if you put some thought into how you should react to a situation like the ones I've mentioned, you are that much more likely to react correctly if they ever happen. Preparation prevents accidents."
"When Prince Hans and the Weselton guards attacked me in my ice castle, I almost killed one of them," she blurted out. Gerrik sat there in silence for a moment, then the Queen slumped forward like her shoulders coundn't hold themselves up anymore and she put her face in her hands. "I had a wall of ice between him and I. I pushed him up against the ledge of my balcony, and I was going to kill him."
"But you didn't."
"No, I didn't. I didn't because Hans fucking Westergaard came in just then. He saw that I had disabled the two of my attackers and called out, 'don't be the monster they fear you are.'"
"Elsa, that's bullshit."
She looked at him. "What?"
"That's complete bullshit. I don't know what Hans was playing at, but if someone is trying to harm someone else, the second person has the right to harm them back in defense. If they are trying to kill, they can kill in defense. It's not pretty or fun, but when it's either you or someone else and lives are on the line, it's always better if it's them on the funeral pyre. If they started it and are attacking you and trying to kill you, then they clearly aren't going to let moral niceties get in the way. Neither should you. I don't know what his game was, but you should know that what he said was absolute bullshit."
She looked like she was going to respond to that, but then she didn't and put her face in her hands again. He saw the red blood from her cut starting to collect at the edge of the linens and run down her arm. The Queen didn't seem to notice.
"Your Majesty, I have dressed wounds before. If you're not feeling up to dealing with that woman, well, I couldn't blame you there. But it really does need attention. I can change that bandage for you."
Elsa was not in a fit state. She'd thought today was going to be a day to relax, but with Gerda conspiring and Oakir being foolish and her own maneuvering through the events as best as she could while they unfolded she'd been more active than her usual meetings and paperwork. She didn't want to put up with her matron, familiar almost to the point of insolence. But her wound did need tending to, and soon.
She laid bare her arm on the table, leaned back into her chair, and closed her eyes. She'd seen it already, she didn't want to again. "Go ahead."
The Queen heard him move his chair over and only the lightest of touches indicated he was removing the linen wraps. Elsa felt herself melting into her chair, even the harsh support of the wooden back had an appeal in her fatigue.
"Ugh. . . I just, I want a moment to be real. To not have to be the immaculate Queen for once. But even then, Ragnvaldr was a mistake. I shouldn't have risked so much like that. And Oakir, pfft. When we got too close it scared him off."
Elsa was thinking out loud. She didn't let herself do that much. But this guard whose fingers brushed along her fresh wounds as he tended to her, he had already seen enough to piece things together himself if he had a mind to. She was banking on his loyalty, and that was why she was so easily able to let her words wander where they would.
But then. . . she wasn't considering him as a person anymore, was she? She was considering if he was a threat or not, and that wasn't the whole picture. He was very much a man.
Since when did she talk about these kinds of things so frankly? It certainly wasn't polite conversation.
"I need somewhere where I can just not worry. Not worry about saying the wrong thing or making a mistake. Somewhere to get back on my feet."
"Uh, Your Majesty," Gerrik started as he secured the new linens by tucking the end into itself. "This is your bedchamber. Where else would that place be but here?"
"My ice palace," she quipped.
"Well, we can't do much about how you feel, Your Majesty. But I assure you your guard goes to extraordinary lengths to give you a space to call yours." Gerrik stood and said, "If that is all, Your Majesty."
"No!" she said, then realized her urgency was rather unneeded. "I- I'm sorry. I know how much time and effort the Royal Guard goes through for me. What I said. . . it was thoughtless."
"My Queen, it's an honor to serve," he said with a bow.
"And thank you. For the- for my arm. And for listening."
"Of course, Your Majesty. If there's nothing else," he said as he made for the door.
He didn't get halfway there before there was a knock.
"Elsa? Is it okay to come in?"
"Yes, it's fine. Come in Anna."
"Just wanted to make sure. It would have been awkward if Oakir was still- Oh. Hello," she said as she almost walked into Gerrik. "You're. . . not the guy that was in here when I left."
Elsa put her face in her hands. "Anna, you know Gerrik, of the Royal Guard. He is how Prince Oakir managed to get out of here without causing a whole mess of trouble for everyone."
"Oh." She smiled and gave him a little wave that was just perfectly Anna. "Hey. Thanks for that."
"Not a problem. She," Gerrik said, pointing his thumb back over his shoulder at Elsa, "asks for our help instead of trying to run circles around us all the time."
Anna's face went white. "You know about that? I- I mean, I don't know what you're talking about."
Elsa stiffed a giggle and said, "It's okay, Anna. Gerrik, stop torturing my sister and get back to your post."
She hoped he didn't take her words as having any venom in them, and when he turned and bowed again there was a smile on his lips.
The door shut and Anna turned from him back to her, a look of puzzlement on her face.
"Okay, now I'm confused."
"About what?"
"I-" Anna looked back at the door, then at her. "Do you- I don't even know what's happening anymore. How is your arm?"
"It's fine."
"Gerda changed your bandages?" she asked, noticing the lack of blood.
"No, she was being. . . flippant."
"Gerda? No!" Anna said, rolling her eyes.
Elsa snorted. "So I had Gerrik attend to it." Her sisters eyes shot back to her at that. "He's seen worse than this, I'm sure."
"Elsa," Anna said in a hushed voice. "Do you. . . like him?" There was a mix of emotions on her face; conspiratorial glee, the kind of scandalous joy that only a juicy morsel of gossip can evoke in a person, and a bit of concern.
"I- what? No! I'm courting with Oakir." Anna accepted that without hesitation, but Elsa herself didn't. Her sister's eye lit up again when, in the smallest voice she could muster, she continued, "Maybe a little."
"Oh my God, Elsa!" Anna said excitedly. But she flipped to concern almost immediately. "But what about Oakir?"
"What about Oakir? It's not like I'm on track to marry him, or anything." She let herself collapse forward onto the table, head cradled in her arms. "I don't know, Anna. I'm so confused right now."
"Oh, it'll be okay, Elsa." Her sister came over and sat next to her, a hand finding her overburdened shoulder to rub it reassuringly. "Let's try to work through it. What happened with Oakir when I left?"
"We- we apologized, but I wasn't happy with the whole sneaking up here thing. I told you why we need to be careful with this kind of stuff, and then he goes and pulls this shit. I wasn't going to let him off the hook for that."
"But it was so romantic, Elsa. He threw rocks at your balcony window."
"He hit me with one of those rocks!" she retorted, her hand going to the light bruise just under where her collarbone met the ball of her shoulder. "I'm the Queen, Anna, I don't have time for romantic bullshit. And practicality should be foremost on the mind of the future king. If it isn't then he shouldn't be king, should he?"
Anna looked at her with an expression of pure sadness. It took her a moment to find her words.
"Elsa. . . I'm sorry that you have to put so much before yourself. You're right. He shouldn't have tried that, and I shouldn't have helped him get in." She looked away. "You know, I don't think I've ever acknowledged it out loud, but thank you for making Kristoff the Royal Ice Harvester or whatever. If I had to go through what you're going through. . . I don't think I'd be able to. The world keeps asking you to be something, Elsa. Something that I sure as hell wouldn't be able to be."
"How can they ask me to change? Urdea, Seth, Uther, Teon, they're all the ones that stay the same. With all of these new feelings and responsibilities, I couldn't be the same person as I was two weeks ago even if I wanted to."
"So, Elsa, do you want to be with Oakir?"
The Queen took a breath. Her eyes caught on the door and her mind on the Royal Guard that had recently stepped through it. "My body wants to be with a man. It's not picky on that front." She thought of the prince that she knew was waiting on her every word. "My mind wants to be with a King. I don't even know where to go looking for one of those. My heart. . . I don't think my heart is interested in this foolishness, to be honest. I only just got my sister back after so many years." Elsa looked at Anna and smiled. "I don't think there's enough room yet. Thanks for talking, though." She turned for a hug. "I needed it."
"Any time, Elsa."
Both of them tensed when they heard a commotion outside. After a moment there was another knock.
"Your Majesty?" Elsa heard Gerrik call through the door. "I know Gerda said for you to rest today, but it's the Council Scribe. He says it's urgent."
"Yes, let him in Gerrik."
The door opened and Greg entered, garbed in a full-length cowl and looking nothing short of a monk.
"Your Majesty. Princess," he said as he bowed quickly. "There's been developments with The Southern Isles. Lord Uther and General Seth of Ra have called the council together."
They both rose, then Elsa turned to Anna. Surprised, she asked, "Do you want to go? This is the sort of thing that is horribly tense and frustrating."
"I'm going."
Elsa bit her lip. "This isn't a time for rash actions. I need you to promise me not to offend any of the council members, Anna."
"Why would I do that?"
"Heh. Because they can be supremely aggravating. Greg, is it in the usual council chambers?"
"No, Your Majesty. Apparently-"
"Lead first," she interrupted, making for the door.
"Captain Kahv insisted the meeting be held in his office in the Governance Wing. The messenger said it was for both reasons of time, in this time-sensitive situation, and security. I know Gerda insisted you were not to be disturbed, but-"
"No, you made the right decision, Greg."
He smiled at that. "I headed here as soon as I got the summons. The messenger wasn't pleased with that."
That didn't sit well with the Queen. They were only at the end of the Royal Wing corridor because Greg's age restricted his speed. Elsa said, "Gerrik, it would be prudent to have an escort. The Royal Wing will still have two guards without you. Come."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
It was a quick walk to the Governance Wing, where the Guard Captain and many of the other officials conducted their day-to-day affairs. It was a familiar walk, on the way they passed the Office of the Chamberlain where Elsa herself had been conducting her work recently.
The room was already occupied when they arrived, and heated voices spilled through the door.
"-but it will allow us a fighting chance!"
"Please! A fighting chance? You're joking, right? We don't have a fighting chance!"
"The first thing you do in war is you call the banners! Whether it will make a difference or not, all our forces will be in this city. There is no arguing that, Captain."
Elsa, Anna, Gerrik, and Greg entered. "General, Lord Uther, what is the situation, exactly?" the Queen asked, not acknowledging the argument she was interrupting.
"Your Majesty," said the room, all with bows. Seth of Ra answered, "The forces of the Southern Isles and Weselton have both set sail for Arendelle. Nokskov, Kiel, and Ereat are reported to be mobilizing as well. We haven't had an official deceleration of war so we don't know who is attacking and who is just getting jumpy from all the other countries' actions, but it's safe to assume the Southern Isles and Weselton aren't mad at Hamburg."
"Lord Uther?"
"It was through my contacts that we learned most of this, yes," he said, somewhat nervously.
"Good work. Now what I'd like to know is the diplomatic angle here."
"Er, I believe the Southern Isles has marriage agreements with both Nokskov and Ereat, Your Majesty. Weselton trades with all three. Thisted also has married a daughter to a Southern Isles boy, but we haven't heard of movement from there. None of these nations are very large or important, but that is little consolation."
"General Seth, assuming we can't somehow avoid this war, what is our best course of action?"
"Your Majesty, without a lot more men and ships and weapons, we can't put up a fight. I say can't because we do not have the ability to. If these forces were at our shores now I would advise surrender. They outgun us, they outnumber us maybe eight to one, and with Weselton's wealth behind them they can outspend us."
"If I used my powers against them, would that level the field?"
There were a few gasps from around the room, and next to her Anna was one. "I- I doubt it, Your Majesty. Maybe if it was two- or three-to-one odds against us, it might turn the tide. I don't know how well your powers would translate into advantage for us, to be honest. I don't know enough about this magic you wield."
"Your Majesty," Chancellor Udrea said. "I don't think that would be a good idea. We're still recovering from the last summer snows. Even if your powers sent them running home, I'm not sure Arendelle would make it through intact. There would certainly be riots, maybe even organized rebellion in the provinces."
"Your concern is noted. Moving on, as far as allies go who can we count on to send help? Lord Uther?"
"Kvenland, Corona, Nogreaw. Maybe Fredrickstad and Hamburg. They will all need to be persuaded, committing to a war is not something they will do lightly. I believe," he turned to the General, "that Fredrickstad is the most valuable potential ally by far, due to their size and army."
"Chancellor, did you ever decide who Arendelle was to beg for food from? It will affect how willing they are to help us."
"I sent messages to Corona, Kvenland, Nokskov, Thisted, and Hamburg, Your Majesty. Nokskov was the first response, they said they would sell us as much food as we required at a discounted wholesale price. Corona and Kvenland pledged to send relief supplies and didn't mention repayment. Hamburg offered a deal similar to Nokskov's, and we have yet to hear back from Thisted."
"Nokskov?" Ser Teon asked. "They are currently gathering an army to kill us! And Thisted as well? Why would you send emissaries to the allies of our enemies?"
"I didn't know they were allies of the Southern Isles! We've had good relations with them both in the past!"
"Enough!" Elsa said. "Just once, I would wish for simple incompetence, then I would have reason to fire you all!" Else put her fingers to her temples and let some of her stress siphon off in the form of snow. She made sure it wasn't so bad that her Council would be cold, and she didn't let the silence stew for long. "General, how long do we have before they are at our borders?"
"A month, Your Majesty, and it would be a miracle of logistics and sailing if they managed that. More like forty-five, maybe fifty days."
"Get me a map of the Baltic and North Seas."
It was produced immediately. She saw how far away her enemies were, how far away her potential allies were, and did some mental calculations that could be wildly off since she didn't know anything about mobilizing armies. All she knew was roughly how long a voyage would take.
"Greg, draft up messages to Corona, Hamburg, Kvenland, Nogreaw, and Thisted asking for their aid against a Weselton-Southern Isles force. Lord Uther, figure out every ounce of diplomatic pressure we might be able to put on our enemies. I'm talking about the stuff we can guarantee, the stuff we can bluff about, the stuff they might try to use to coerce us; everything. I want it done yesterday. General, call the banners from the provinces and mobilize the fleet. I want you taking stock of our forces and thinking about all the places they are likely to attack, not just this castle. Assume that we have enough of a force to lend us a fighting chance and find the best places to engage. Also, who's your best naval Captain?"
"Captain Zissou, Your Majesty. He might not be fit for Royal company, he's got a sailor's mouth, but he's seen more combat than even the Commodore."
"Captain Kahv, find Captain Zissou and have him ready his ship for departure. Then arrange a suitable contingent from the Royal Guard. We're headed for Fredrickstad." Her Royal Guard Captain lept to her command. She looked around the table and without any explanation everyone knew what her mission was.
"Does anyone have any concerns about how we're handling this? Any ideas they would like to share? This is the last time we're going to assemble for a while."
There was a clear 'no' in the silence that followed. Elsa looked over and realized Anna had yet to say anything. "If you'll excuse me for just a moment, Counselors. Anna?"
Her sister rose and followed. Ser Gerrik pursued as well. They left the room and proceeded twenty feet down the hall before Elsa asked, "Anna, I've got a really serious question for you."
"Alright. What is it?"
"I'm leaving for Frekrickstad. Should I name you Queen Regent while I'm gone, or should I give power over to the High Chancellor?"
"I- I don't think I can do what you just did, Elsa. You were just so precise, so decisive. I can't do that. I wouldn't even know where to start."
"That's okay. You don't have to do that. Basically, you just have to make sure all the important decisions pass through you before they get put into action. I trust your judgement most. Lady Urdea has too much of an agenda to be a perfect choice in a heated time like this. But I'll hand her power if you think it's best. She's competent, if nothing else."
Anna looked uneasy still.
"Admittedly, you also have to defend against any ploys for the throne or other power plays."
"What do you mean?"
"Lady Urdea and Ser Teon both lead factions that are vying for power. Make sure they don't try and use this turmoil as an opportunity. We have enough tension as it is without someone making a grab for more seats on the Council."
"Alright. I'll do it."
"Really?" Elsa asked, a bit surprised.
"Yes, really."
"Good. Thank you," she said, hugging her red-headed sister tightly. "I'm sorry you have to do this now. It's not fun."
"It's okay. So you said I have to make sure all the important decisions pass through me. Well, I guess making sure people check with me first is it's own thing, but how do I know which decisions are 'important'?"
"That's a great question. If you figure it out, you can teach me when I get back," the Queen said with a smile. That answer didn't seem to reassure Anna. "My best advice is to consult Lady Urdea, General Seth, and Bishop John on every important issue, even if the action seems obvious. Are you sure you still want to do this?"
At her sister's nod, Elsa led them back into Captain Kahv's office. It was a little funny that he was the only one not there, as he was busy fetching this Captain Zissou.
"I'm going to name Princess Anna as Queen Regent before I leave." There was a round of muttering at that. "That means you won't call council meetings without her, for starters. Are we clear?"
That shut them up. Ser Teon made an attempt at explanation. "Your Majesty, Gerda insisted you were not to be disturbed. We were worried for your health, is all."
Elsa looked down and saw that her arm was bleeding through her bandages again, although it wasn't even close to what it had been earlier. With a shrug and a reference to her scarlet dress she said, "I'm fine. Dressed like this, it's practically an accessory."
With nothing more to address, Queen Elsa called the emergency Council meeting at an end.
AN: Chapter title based on "I'm Still Here" by John Reznik of The Goo Goo Dolls, recorded for Disney's Treasure Planet.