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The ensuing weeks were hard as the green eyed fox demon named Shippo nursed his mother figure back to health, encouraging her with assurance and kind words of comfort to ensure that her physical and mental state improved.

He bathed and fed her when she was unable to do it or had no will or desire to do them on her own. For how could he do any less? She had always been there for him, loving him, caring for him, and being a mother to him when he had no one else. And when she was at her worse crying so brokenly that her small frame shook with the emotions of her distress, he held her closer feeling helpless and cried with her.

The accounts that she had finally given him on the night of his unexpected return was shocking and that was putting it mildly. It was impossible for him to believe that Kagome had an affair with Sesshomaru; journeying to the west and was finally to live with and eventually becoming his wife/mate.

It was a lot to take in and he could not find one suitable comment to make, because the story was that incredible, for the Sesshomaru he remembered as a child was self centered, prejudiced against human kind, and by all accounts incapable of love, and he was not a very social being. The only human he remembered the demon lord befriending was a little girl named Rin. Could he have changed for the better so quickly and so drastically?

There were days when she felt overwhelmed with hurt and bitterness and was drowning in sorrow and despair, and on those days she would lock herself away in her bedroom and cry. At the times when her emotions allowed her some semblance of peace she would venture out in the yard and sit in her swing and rock, but the expression on her face would change from peaceful to one of loneliness and loss when she remembered him, and then the tears would come,

Shippo would always be there to comfort and reassure her that things would improve; she just needed to believe that she could survive without Sesshomaru. The smile that used to brighten his mother's face was gone. How he wishes that he could see her beautiful smile once more, one that lit up her face and made her eyes sparkle like rare and polished gems.

The healing process was a slow, but with patience and care her mood improved and at times she would talk to him about her students and the crazy antics of her dog. The corners of her mouth would lift in a half smile when she related something amusing, and he would be pleased, grateful that she made some progress. Even the lost and beleaguered look into her eyes had lessened, and in its place was a spark of fire and strength.

The Kagome he knew and loved like a mother was finally returning. She just needed something to do, something to get her out of the house and to keep her mind and body occupied; and he knew the perfect solution to that dilemma now that she was on the mend.

Two weeks later...

"There is a young lady to see you, Kagome," Shippo said softly, he had emerged through the back door of the house and now stood looking at her as she finished hanging some sheets on the line.

Kagome straightened and brushed imaginary specks of dust off her clothes. She was neither in the mood nor dressed for visitors. "I am still not in the mood to see and speak with anyone yet, please send them away."

He remained as he was and did not comply with her wishes immediately, because the person who was here to see her had some very important information which could be the catalyst in her recovery.

"Kagome I believe that you should talk to this person," he insisted, she scrunched up her nose and sighed audibly in annoyance. Shippo shrugged. "Alright then, I will tell her that you are not available, but I can assure that the matter is of great importance and she will be back tomorrow."

Kagome was tempted, unbearably tempted. Putting it off wasn't going to make it go away. All the same she needed to get her life back together. She couldn't hide away from the world and people forever. Shippo knew her too well not to notice the curiosity in her eyes as they narrowed and she pursed her lips in anxiousness, he smirked at her peculiar behavior.

"Show her inside and let her have a seat at the table," she said firmly, putting all thoughts of changing her mind aside. "I won't be long. And you might as well go and get the items for the evening meal while you are at it."

He nodded his head when she was done speaking and entered the house through the backdoor while she took the side door leading into her bathroom to freshen up and change.

Hastily she took a bath and changed her clothes. She took a deep breath and surveyed her appearance with a critical eye. She stared at her reflection in the long mirror above the vanity. Kami, she looked awful, she had lost too much weight and her face was thin, her cheekbones protruded unflatteringly because of rapid weight loss.

Her eyes were sunken and dreary with dark circles completing her gaunt and unhealthy appearance, these past two months had been difficult and there were moments when she thought that she would lose her sanity, but the kamis took pity on her and sent Shippo back in her life just in the nick of time. She blew out a breath and then inhaled deeply; she looked worse than she felt, and that was a good sign. She just needed to eat more and she would regain the weight and look healthier.

Should she change? Should she put on some makeup before meeting her guest? Perhaps some powder to hide the deathly pallor of her skin, or maybe some eyeliner, it had always made her eyes pop. No, that won't do she decided, and so she looked away from the mirror knowing that no amount of makeup could hide two months of heartbreak and distress, only time could repair the damage. Her guest was seated at the table with her back to her when she emerged from her bedroom, and quietly she continued until she stood in front and faced her former student, now current school teacher, Hana.

The young woman got to her feet at once when she saw Kagome and stared at her, it was obvious that she was as shocked as she was curious at her former teacher's unsightly appearance. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed.

Kagome didn't immediately say anything; however she just stood there and looked at Hana as she looked at her, each waiting on the other to say something. This is ridiculous, Kagome thought and sat, she gestured to the young woman and she reclaimed her seat. She was aware that Hana watched her with a shrewd, assessing gaze, and wondered if the girl knew of her unfortunate situation.

Kagome arched her brows under the scrutiny but had the good sense not to feel self conscious, because Hana couldn't possible know the reasons for her sickly facade. When the young woman continued to peruse Kagome's face even further she smiled slightly.

"I am ready and waiting on you to tell me what is the reason for your visit," she said low and a little impatiently, Hana shifted into the chair uncomfortably.

With her eyes downcast she mumbled, "I can't teach at the school for much longer, I am to be married and when I do I will have to move to another village far from here to be with my husband."

Kagome shrugged her shoulders in indifference not completely sure if she was mentally ready to take on the challenges of a teacher again, but before she could say a word Shippo came bustling through the door excitably. "You should do it Kagome, I am sure that the student misses you," he said hurriedly and smiled.

She Moistened her lips and took the only course available to her. With Hana going away there was no one else who could fill that position, and while she wasn't sure that she was emotionally prepared, she couldn't let the children suffer for an education because she was too afraid to try.

She sighed deeply and then responded. "Alright, I will take over the classes…When do you need me to start?" Hana smiled broadly at Kagome's positive response and cheerfully she replied. "I need you to start at the beginning of the coming week," Kagome internalized, so that will give her four more days at home before she ventured into the world of teaching once more.

After Hana had left Kagome turned to Shippo who was still smiling and doing it sheepishly and asked him frankly.

"You had a hand in this didn't you Shippo?" Kagome asked as she gazed at him.

He chuckled heartily and responded. "It will do you a world of good to get back out there and do something that you really enjoy."

Kagome got up, stood beside the chair and in front of Shippo and said calmly. "Perhaps you are right, that is what I need to do to finally put all my troubles behind me."

He patted her on the shoulder and then gave her a gentle squeeze. He smiled at her and she nodded her head, and while she walked away, she spoke loudly over her shoulder.

"You are making dinner today."

He groaned. "I am sure you are aware that I cannot cook."

She laughed wistfully and responded, "Well today is a great day to start learning," she said while she shut her bedroom door to get her afternoon nap.

sksksk

Silently and savagely cursing the ill-timed appearance of his mate, Sesshomaru hid his frustrations behind his schooled and calm emotions. He was in his private study going over a land dispute document when she barged in unannounced, relaxing was the last thing on her mind as she dragged herself in an unladylike fashion and sat in the chair beside him, with fingers clutching tightly to the front of her elaborate kimono.

Gold eyes clashed with gold as they both stared at each other in silence, but it was her expression that concerned him most. She was stiff and had an angry frown on her face, and he knew what she wanted to do and to discuss, and it would inevitably turn out into an argument, one that he did not relish or looked forward to at the moment if ever.

Sesshomaru's breath hissed in through his teeth in a sound of fierce exasperation, he kept on wondering how he could have mated such a vain, nagging, and lust ridden female. Two months have come and gone since his changed unmated status and yet he could not remember clearly how all this came to be.

Pushing both hands through his hair she stroked his scalp tenderly, he closed his eyes briefly trying to enjoy the softness of her touch, then suddenly he remembered small dainty hands, ones without claws streaming through his hair on a warm sunny day. The memory was fleeting and all too soon it vanished. He shook his head and got up quite quickly startling Seira, and she looked up at him in surprise.

Some movement he had made caught her attention, and she turned her head in the opposite direction to see him standing on the balcony overlooking the garden. She was none too pleased about it. Each time that she'd tried to be with him in an intimate way something had him pushing her away.

The first three days after they were mated he couldn't get enough of her and they'd made love and fucked every chance they got; but now all he did was push her away and she was tired of it. He was her mate and had an obligation to keep her happy and satisfied in every way. She stared at his back for awhile as he remained motionless totally ignoring her, and his indifference angered her.

"This isn't going to happen again is it?" She flung at him in anger and desperation, stamping her foot in emphasis, though because she was barefooted and the carpet soft and thick, the result was obviously not what she had hoped for. He turned in her direction at the angry remark, and moved to the far side of the room and faced her; stubborn defiance stamped in every line of her ageless face.

Her chin came up, and with her eyes flashing with anger and resentment she demanded of him. "Take me to bed now and perform your duty! You are my mate and that is one of your obligations…You have not sated my needs in a long time," she accused and gesticulated wildly.

Sesshomaru did not know what to call her or how to feel. Terms like mate or wife were not the ones that came to mind as he gazed at her impassively. She wasn't truly his mate although her face was adorned with his symbol. He felt little and at times no connection to her which was unusual for a newly mated pair.

Emotional words like my koi, my mate, my lover, wouldn't even enter his mind. So how did he think of her? She came closest to a mistress, a concubine, and even those ideas were a contradiction in itself, because he had no desire to bed her. And he certainly did not love her; and as a male even though she was very attractive he did not yearn with want or crave her body; and hence the problems between them.

The very essences of his being rejected her, and each time that they had tried to be together after the three days of mated bliss, a vision, a distant memory would consume his mind, it clenched his heart painfully. The sensation was so powerful that he could not continue, and after awhile he did not even try to be with her intimately again.

For how could he when the trilogy of his physical and spiritual self; his heart, his body and his soul refused to comply, refused to work together cohesively? And on a strictly primal and baser instinctual level, as a demon of the canine variety, naturally he was a very lascivious and sexual creature; so why couldn't he satisfy his body's natural urges with her when clearly he was in need of such relief? Something was not right, and he had yet to figure it out.

"No," she heard him say, a previously unheard edge in his voice, "I will not take you to bed, I have no desire for you at the moment, and I doubt that I ever will."

There was that cruel stab of harsh reality piercing right into her darkened soul, but she refused to accept the truth even as she remembered the warning words of her mother in law. "The potion cannot make him love you...You want to become lady of these lands, and you may very well get your wish, but maybe...that is all you will get."

She shook her head violently, trying to erase the words that she did not want to accept and shouted instead. "Sesshomaru!" As he walked away from her, and shut the door carelessly behind him, leaving her within embittered and desperate.