I'm really sorry that it took me about a month to upload even when I'm free and doing nothing! Believe me when I say this writer's block is killing me! In this chapter not much of story progression is there, but this will show what's going on inside James' mind. This is the chapter that I'm most proud of from the ones I have wrote so far!

I have special thanks for WeirdButUnique, winterschild11, Lowgin-Hindursen, VCJ103001 and all the others who read this! It would be great if you can leave a review saying what you thing and what you want to happen in future! :)

Enjoy! ;)

Chapter 6

James' POV

I heard the loud sound of something breaking and the floor before me turned blood red. I paused. All my actions stuck in mid air. I gasped hard as I felt all the air leave me. I tried to move but I couldn't. I slowly turned my head to look at his head where blood was gurgling out painting the white floor red. I was paralyzed as I stared at what I did. My mind was blank. I didn't know what to do next until I heard Logan's scream. I felt myself becoming numb. I watched as Logan came running towards him and kneeling next to him crying his eyes out. I felt my chest tighten with guilt. I didn't want to hurt Logan. Now thinking about it I didn't want to hurt Kendall either. Then what the hell did I want?

I waited for Logan to shout at me, hit me, but nothing of the sort happened. He didn't even look at me. His bloodshot eyes were on him scanning him from head to toe, inspecting the damage. Then I heard the siren of the ambulance and I knew that was my signal to get out of here. It was all a blur after that. I didn't know how I got out of the rink, how I got into my car, how I drove home, how I entered my house and my room and how I fell onto my bed.

I laid there on my bed staring up at the ceiling. The images of what happened at the rink kept appearing before me. I saw him lying there helplessly as the hockey sticks collided with his slender body. I curled into a ball as an unfamilier pain shuddered through me amplified by the memories. Something inside me hurt like hell. It felt like something was ripping my insides apart. Besides that I was so frustrated, I didn't know why, that I could scream at nothing. I didn't know what was wrong with me. It was true that I felt guilty, which was sticking needles in me, but what I was feeling now was something completely different from guilt. What ever it was it was eating me alive. I struggled on my bed throwing sheets all around. My chest tightened making it hard to breath. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing to calm myself. I was almost calming down when the image of him lying in a pool of blood came into my mind. My eyes shot open as I clutched the bed sheet beneath me. That moment I knew it was going to haunt me for the rest of my life, worse than the incident that happened two years ago haunted me.

I knew he would be alright as I was two years ago. I fought it. I made it out alive although I still had nightmares. So i wasn't even considering the option of his death. I knew, or hoped, that he would be able to do the same. I never meant to take this so far. Things kind of went out of hand. I felt the ache in my chest again. I was a mess of emotions right now. It was hard to describe what i was feeling. I felt guilty, hurt, angry, happy, proud and something else that I didn't have a word to describe. I needed to concentrate on something else before I went insane. I needed a distraction. So I did the first thing that came into my mind. I took out my mobile and dialed Carlos number. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey James, missed me?" He sounded so bubbly so I gathered that everything was alright with his grandmother.

"Yep," I answered truthfully. "How is Gran?"

"Well she is better and the doc said she can go home tomorrow."

"That's great news man. Wanna celebrate?"

"Sure. But where are we gonna celebrate?"

"At my house. We gonna have a party." I honestly didn't know where that came from. But I was kind of happy that it came out cause right now I can use a party.

"Great, I'll be there in a second." I could almost hear his grin from the other end of the line. Carlos was born to party and there was nothing in this world which made Carlos' mood like parties and food.

"Sure," saying that I hung up.

Then I dialed to the party planners that my mom always called when she wanted to have a party. I ordered everything I want and hung up. I quickly typed a text about the party and sent it to Jett and Dak. Passing the message to those two was like publishing it in the newspaper. So there was no doubt that almost the whole school would show up today. After some time both Carlos and the party planners arrived at my house. Some more time after, one by one people started to show up. I started to feel better. I had about five drinks and a dance when she showed up. My smile faltered as she reached me. She stood before me and our eyes met for a second before I turned away. I was about to walk away when she grabbed my hand.

"I'm sorry," she breathed. "I never meant to hurt you." Her voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.

I turned around to see her puffy eyes filled with tears. I felt a pang of guilt run through me. Why do I always have to hurt everyone around me? I brought my thumb up to her face and wiped away the tear that was threatening to fall. She stared at me shocked. I cupped her face with my left hand while I caressed her face with the other.

"I'm really sorry," she whispered again.

"Shh," I pressed my finger to her lips. "I know you didn't mean it. I'm sorry for being such a jerk."

I pressed my lips to her before she could respond to what I said. At first the kiss was soft and sweet. Little by little it started to get hot and needy. I was about to ask entrance, when I felt someone drag me back by my collar and banged my head against the wall. Then I was turned around and a fist punched me hard on the jaw. I stumbled backwards and I had to hold the doorframe to steady myself. The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. I spat and wiped my mouth before standing straight to see my attacker.

My eyes widened in shock to see Logan standing in front of me fuming. His eyes were red with anger. He was looking at me like I was a piece of meat, like he would slice me into tiny pieces and have me for dinner. I gulped hard. It was not that hard to understand that his condition wasn't great if Logan was here to kill me, judging by the look he gave me.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Logan grabbed me by my collar and smashed my head on the wall again before any words left my mouth. A pain shot through me and I wondered if he felt the same when I did that. I couldn't even bring myself to think of what I did. I felt dizzy, thanks to both the alcohol and the sensation of getting hit. Logan's hands were still on my collar and he pushed me hard against the wall making it hard for me to escape. From the corner of my eyes I saw some people gathering to see what the whole drama is about. Jo's hands were covering her mouth to keep her shock inside. Carlos on the other hand tried to help me until Logan's words stopped him dead on the tracks.

"You fucking bastard! Are you happy now? Are you happy now that he's in the ICU fighting for his life? Did you accomplish what you wanted? Or are you just sad that he didn't die?" growled Logan.

For a second my heart stopped. ICU? I never once imagined he would have been hurt that severely. No he can't be. I felt that previous ache in my chest returning.

Logan released my collar and punched me again. This time I fell to the ground. He lifted me and punched me once again. I was so lost in thought that it didn't even occur to me to defend myself. But I didn't think it was necessary cause I deserved this. After a few more hard punches he roared again.

"He has an enlarged spleen you asshole. Do even know what that means? If you hit an enlarged spleen the person dies." Tears rolled down his cheeks making rivulets.

I felt my breath hitch at the word 'dies'. No! No, he can't die.

"If I was seconds late he would have been dead by now. Too bad you didn't get to see that huh?" He took a deep breath before continuing. "If something happens to him, James Diamond, be ready to kiss your life goodbye."

He turned around to leave but he looked at me again as if he forgot to say something. "Thanks for shortening his life time." He spat before leaving, sending Carlos a death glare on his way out.

Carlos, Jo, Dak and Jett circled me. Others resumed what they were doing before all this.

"Are you alright?" asked Dak.

"What did you do?" asked Carlos ignoring Dak. His eyes were cold like he was accusing me even before he knew what really happened. I don't blame him though cause I haven't done anything good in my whole fucking life.

Jett explained what happened at the rink to Carlos and Jo. When the story was finished I felt a slap across my face. My hand shot upward to cup my cheek which was hit. I looked at Jo's tear filled eyes.

"I told you to leave him alone, James. He never deserved any of this. He is an innocent person." Then her tone was slightly elevated. "You are a beast James. No one in their right mind would do anything that inhuman. I'm…I'm just disgusted of you." saying that she stomped out of the house. I felt my chest tighten.

"I can't believe you went this far." whispered Carlos looking at the ground and shaking his head. I took a step towards him and placed my hands on his shoulder.

"Carlos," I whispered. He slapped my hands away and shook his head a no.

"All these years I tolerated everything you did cause I knew no matter what you did, underneath all of that shit there's a great person, who is my best friend. But today I'm questioning myself whether I have been blind." He sighed. "What happened to you James? What happened to the old you? What changed you? What made you this evil?"

"Carlos…," I breathed unable to say anything else except mumble his name.

"No James," He shook his head. "I don't think I want you as my best friend anymore."

I felt my throat closing up, making it impossible to pass air to the lungs. The pain that was formerly in my chest started to spread throughout my whole body. I watched as Carlos leave, his head down, before collapsing onto the ground. I felt my cheeks get wet as tears ran down them and fell onto the floor. I pressed my back onto the wall and curled into a ball. I started crying hard as the fact registered on my brain.

My best friend left me.