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At fifteen, falling down the bone eaters well meeting and falling in love with the Inu-hanyou named Inuyasha was a scary and unbelievable proposition, things you would only find in a forbidden fairy-tale. Love should have been easier and less traumatic at her age and stage in life.
It wasn't, Kagome concluded with regret after all the drama and heartbreak she was forced to endure. It had been two days since her poignant meltdown and Sesshomaru had refused to leave her side even though she had not said a word to him since then. She felt like eighteen all over again, when her heart had been broken for a second time by the same half demon.
She had hidden herself away from all of her friends for a month in the mountains with the help of Kouga, not wanting to face them and her sad reality. How surprising, who would have thought that loving for a second time would have come from a relative, a brother of her first love? The dynamism may have changed somewhat, but the emotional wear and tear were about the same.
She sat in her swing and sipped the second glass of fruit juice and watched the little birds peck at the pieces of bread that she threw on the ground. The air cool was filled of moisture; and by all appearances it looked like it might rain again. Even though she was all grown up now, a priestess, a teacher and in more recent times a lover; in many ways she was just as scared as she had been when Inuyasha had dumped her. She had felt lost and alone in a time not of her own. And just as stubbornly determined to stay away until she made sense of things, and now she has.
Sesshomaru watched her from his place at the front door, observing keenly all her moods as they ran across her expressive face and eyes. He had reluctantly given her the space that she required, but had remained close to comfort her when she cried in distress by all the hurt and vindictiveness thrown her way because of him and his troubles.
He had few regrets in his life; everybody has them, but he wished with all that he has inside of him that she wasn't one of them. The unfortunate truth was that if she chose to be with him, her life would be tumultuous and filled with despair by persons who hated her because she was human, and him because he chose a human over his own kind.
He wondered how is father had endured all the anger and prejudice that came his way when he found love and happiness with Inuyasha's mother, something that he never had with his mate, and in all likelihood would never have attained with her. She was cold, power hungry and ambition driven, some of those same traits had rubbed off on him. But his father was a great demon and wise and had left a door open for him to change.
When his father had died, he'd bequethed to him and his brother a legacy, his powerful heirlooms, his swords, and they had carried out his will and had changed him. With the aid of destiny and his sword Tenseiga he had resurrected and cared for a small human child and was taught compassion, his relationship with his brother had improved and his earlier biases against humans had lessened.
In thinking he found a new respect for his old man. He chose his life and had found love and happiness over his empire and politics. But how could he ask Kagome to walk this path with him, when it was filled with so much treachery and hate. She was too kind and pure and the thought that following him would leave her changed into something unbecoming filled him up with displeasure.
Although he still could not remember her or their shared past clearly, instincts told him to protect that which was pure, destroying all that she was did not appeal to him at all.
He could not in good conscience ask her to walk this path with him, he frowned, and then with a heavy heart walked slowly to the swing and sat beside her. She wasn't alarmed by his actions, for he had been waiting patiently and quietly for two days to talk to her. There was so much on her mind, and trying to make sense of them was as daunting as a nightmare.
She felt stronger now and her mind more settled. Sesshomaru's hand immediately covered hers when he was seated. "How are you feeling?" He asked her softly with concern. Kagome finally met his gaze which she'd been avoiding up until now.
Sesshomaru regarded her with an unblinking gaze. "We need to discuss our troubles and see if we can agree on the solutions," he reminded her in his usual calm and easy tone. He'd tried before that night after her emotional episode but she'd refused to listen to him. She had turned her back on him and had pretended to be asleep.
"I haven't forgotten, I am ready to talk," she informed him, determined to sort out the issues so that she could plot a course for the rest of her life. Her life since Sesshomaru's disappearance had felt out of control and umanageable.
He surveyed her with a practiced eye and he couldn't be sure what she felt because she was too calm, and he wan't sure if her sudden good mood was real or forced. Only two days ago she was beside herself with heartache. He decided to tread carefully.
"I am sure you must have figured out by now the sinister plot that brewed to keep us apart," he stated and continued to hold her stare. Watching to see if there was any change of attitude.
"Yes, of course," she said knowingly. "And I am positive that it was your mother and your mistresses that did the deed. She knew that they hated her and the prognosis was easy to deduce, especially since only his memories of her were affected.
He frowned and his lips twitched. "I fear that you are right, and I also believe that some of the council members were involved and are aware of the deceit," he amended.
Kagome felt the tiny string of thread holding her temper in check breaking. "What kind of people would do those sorts of things to another, and how could your mother hurt you like that?" She inquired, a little angered as her temper flared.
"Kagome, some people will do whatever it takes to get what they desire, and my mother is without a conscience," he replied with indifference.
Kagome regarded him curiously. "How can you still be so calm about this, not only did their actions hurt you it almost destroyed me when it tore us apart?" How could he indeed maintain such a cool facade when she was almost at the breaking point with anger and resentment from their actions? She wondered becoming more and more frustrated.
Sesshomaru's tolerant expression never wavered, and it was something that she had admired about him in the past, now she did not know how she felt about that. He should be angry and not calm by the injustice that was meted out to them. She shook her head and looked away from him upset.
He swallowed the irritation and rage that he felt from the deception by his mother and others, not wanting Kagome to know that he felt as angry as she did. He had to keep a level head, even though he knew that Kagome reacted to the bitter circumstances he felt badly for her. Now that he knew of his family's disloyalty against him, and the malicious way in which they acted just to stop him from being with Kagome and to hurt her, he could not take their relationship any further.
He raked a clawed hand through his hair, placing loose strands back into place which was tousled by the heavy breeze. He gave Kagome a stern look as he sought the right words to tell her what was on his mind. He hated to do it but he could not in good sense allow her to be with him, when all that waited for them was more heartache.
Sesshomaru stared Kagome down but she never so much as blinked. He turned away from her slightly with despair as he readied himself to cut their ties... "I wish to end my affair with you now. I will deal with the ones who deceived me alone." He said it in a tone that did not truthfully convey the emotions of his heart, his lilt had been too calm, they were toneless words and lies.
He faced her again, their eyes met and locked as he waited on her to say something. Kagome's eyes flashed with anger and her jaw clenched harshly. No way she was buying into this. It was clear that he had decided to push her aside because he feared for her safety. His eyes widened a fraction from the cold glare that she threw his way.
It wasn't the humiliation or the hurt she felt when she thought that he had abandoned her, maybe it was her broken heart, maybe it was her pride but never again will she allow someone else to direct her life unless she asked it of them. On that note she dragged herself out of the swing, stood and faced him still. He looked up and stared into eyes that raged like the stormy seas, and he could feel the waves of discernment rolling off her, and he was a little put off by it.
"I don't care who likes me or not," she said her expression grim, "I will not run away like a cowardly dog with their tail curled beneath their legs…So please don't ask it of me. I know that you are only trying to spare my feelings to prevent me from being hurt any further. But I can assure you that I couldn't live with myself if I let this go, let you walk away when we could have it all," she paused and knelt in the dirt in front of him and took his large hands into hers, and tried to close her hands around his, which was a little awkward because his hands were so much larger than hers.
He tried unsuccessfully to swallow a chuckle at her antics, he tugged his hands gently away and clasped them around hers effortlessly. He shook his head slightly in relief, the woman he loved was strong and wanted to be with him no matter what, he should be pleased, and he was, but he also knew the danger that would inevitably surround them once they left this place together.
"Are you sure that you want to follow me knowing the dangers involved?" He asked firmly and she retorted. "Yes," completely unfazed by anything that he had to say.
The evening had become chilly indeed and she shivered, it did not go unnoticed by him and so he pulled her to her feet and led her inside. Instinctively he proceeded to the spot by the window and sat, she smiled. Some things never changes and the heart never lies, she thought while she walked to him and sat down. As she nestled herself between his legs she lean back in his embrace and rest her head against his chest.
"What are we going to do?" She asked him after awhile, he sighed and ran his fingers through her hair. "It is best if we find a way to reverse the spell immediately," he said dispassionately.
"Yes," she agreed wholeheartedly.
There were so many questions in her head, and now that they were alone the timing was perfect for the answers. She sighed heavily before shifting forward so that she could see his face. "Sesshomaru couldn't you have stopped it from happening, and why didn't anyone say or do anything, someone must have known that you were not yourself?" She asked with a hint of disappointment in her tone.
He studied her intently as she threw her head back and rested on him again. "I suppose I should have known that my mother would have tried to thwart my plans, and yes I should have taken the necessary measures to prevent my own downfall. But even I am not infallible, and she had a lot of help, many enemies surround me, and now that I know I will act swiftly."
His gaze narrowed with concentration. "I know of only one spell that could have rendered me incapable of defending myself for the events of the mating to have occurred, and I could not recall any of it."
Kagome regarded him skeptically. "You say you know of a certain spell which could be the cause of your forced mating. But what of your lost memories of me, and by all accounts you are still losing every trace of me whenever you recall them?" She turned away from him then, her expression thoughtful as he watched her, and he had no idea or an answer for her about his memory's depletion.
Many minutes went by without either of them saying anything else after that, then quite unexpectedly she remarked. "Take off your clothes," and got up immediately.
He shuddered at the certainty in her voice and curious because he hadn't any idea what she was up to. Nevertheless, he did not question her and did what she asked of him. He stripped down as quickly as he could and she watched enthralled as his body was revealed piece by piece like the unwrapping of a desired and anxiously awaited gift.
He was bare except for his fundoshi, and Kagome gulped in nervousness, she was still shy even though they had been together intimately and they both had seen it all; but he did not remember and that changed things.
However, this was not about sex, she thought about his seemingly unexplained amnesia of her, and if he did not receive any severe blows to the head, and he was not human so a human condition could not be the reason why he was affected. And why the lapse in his memory was only affecting one thought and that was of her?
She had been a priestess for a very long time in this era, and suspicion and the supernatural were closely intertwined together with religion. Maybe, just maybe it was a physical embodiment, something that was sucking away all his memories of her; and if it that was the case, then she would find it. As a female with divine powers she could detect and find malevolence. If evil exist within him she would find it and destroy it.
She took his hand reluctantly, although this was supposed to be a spiritual experience, the sight of his bare and magnificent body was wreaking havoc on her pulse, it beats wildly and her palms sweaty, and to make matters worse she knew that he was aware of her predicament. He cast a look in her direction as he lies down on the futon just as she raised her head and looked deeply into his eyes.
"Are you fascinated, Kagome?" He asked in a tone deep and seductive. She didn't answer, she only moistened her lips nervously. To her total embarassment he actually chuckled. She couldn't help but to grin at him because in that moment she was reminded of a time when he remembered her and they were at ease with each other.
She rests her hands lightly on his chest and kept her gaze locked with his, and quite unexpectedly she replied. "Yes, you have a wonderful physique," he was mildly surprised, because here he was thinking that he may have embarrassed her. A startled grin spread across his face and she smiled back at him briefly, but soon enough her expression changed from playfulness to one of deep concentration as the blue color of her reiki enveloped her hands.
He tried to relax as her spiritual powers danced along his skin, tingling as she passed it over him, searching for the devise or thing that has been affecting his memory.
He closed his eyes as the physical manifestations of who she was caressed his skin, every hair on his body rose to attention and something more. She saw the bulge in his underwear and faltered for a moment as she approached his penis. Oh for goodness sake, get a grip Kagome, she commanded herself but was failing miserably as her heartbeat sped up.
She forced herself to continue; his wellbeing was what was important right now and acting like a horny school girl would not suffice. If only she knew that he too was also affected the same way by their closeness, and only the iron strength of his will held him back from acting on those wild impulses.
Kagome spread her powers all over him when she failed to detect any form of foreign entity inside his body. But just as she was about to give up, feeling a sense of failure, his wrist on his left hand burnt a brilliant red and she withdrew her powers.
She was overjoyed and covered her face in her palms and laughed as she cried, "Oh Sesshomaru," she mumbled and dropped her hand from her face and smiled broadly at him. "I…I found it."
He was genuinely perplexed and his brows arched with his question. "What did you find?" He asked her a little eagerly. She took his hand and touched the places around his wrist where she had seen the ominous presence.
"I want you to do something for me," she informed him sternly. He nodded as he continued to peruse her face. Suddenly he felt fearful for the both of them.
"Cut open your wrist right here," she said and and touched the spot of incision. his brows lifted but he did not say anything. "I am unsure of what is inside you, but if your mother is responsible, I am sure that whatever it is must be demonic and I should be able to draw it out and purify it.
Concern filled Sesshomaru's eyes. "This could be dangerous for you, as you said you are unsure if it is a thing or a living breathing substance, and I refuse to put you in harm's way."
She felt completely appreciated as he worried for her, but she could handle herself. "I will be fine," she said and smiled at him. He held her gaze until she broke eye contact and took up his arm while he sat up.
She nodded to communicate to him that she was ready. He used his index finger of his other hand and tore a gash on the underside of his wrist. The wound was deep which gave her ample amount of time to do what she needed to do before he started to heal.
His dark red, syrupy blood flowed heavily and dropped to the floor, and yet she wasn't perturbed by has had her fair share of bloody situations and of mortal injuries; she was now a professional healer. Without further hesitation she called forth her powers and channeled it to her hand and forcrd it inside his wound, where it stung harshly and he flinched.
He was almost at the point of jerking his arm away with how uneasy he felt being in direct contact with her spiritual energies. She had seen the wariness in him and clamped down hard on his wrist and ordered him. "Be still, I won't hurt you."
Her kind and caring eyes bore into his and he stilled. She lowered her head and refocused on her task of weaving her healing reiki inside his arm…and then she felt it.
It was a twisting mass of dark energy, but she had a firm grip on it and wouldn't let it go. She had to bring him pain if she was going to relieve him of the parasite. Her head lifted and she stared at him, imploring him with her eyes to trust her, silently she asked him to endure until she was done.
He gritted his and nodded, and immediately she increased her energies, coiling it strongly around the mass and applying more pressure until the ring it form around his wrist snapped.
He groaned "Aaah," in discomfort, but she couldn't focused on him or the pain he endured, although her heart felt like it had leapt into her ribs and had dropped back painfully into place as she felt his pain.
In a matter of moments she tightened her reiki around the two pieces of dark energies even further within him and pulled it out as quickly as she could, time was of the essence; his wound was already closing. She won against the race with time as the last piece of the mass was expelled from his arm and his wound sealed off. She let
She dropped the parasite to the floor some distance away from them. A gasp of sound escaped his lips and she held onto his shoulder. Harsh breaths contracted and expanded his chest rapidly, his eyes dilated and sunk into their sockets as the whites turned over and he fell forward limply in unconsciousness. She caught him and rest his unresponsive body gently back down on the sleeping pallet.
A strange feeling had her turning away from him, only to see the pieces of the ring forming together, the two unjoined pieces wriggled their way together and joined. Kagome watched awestruch, almost frozen with shock. As the pieces joined they formed into a foot long clay colored earth worm, with the head of it filled with spiky teeth around a broad round head.
The moment was bizarre and disturbing as the parasite raised its head and slithered quickly around in the direction of Sesshomaru's unconscious form on the futon. Shock had made her mute and had paralyzed her with fear, but love made her strong and she rushed at it and crushed her getas into its middle rendering it immobile, but only for a moment.
It was deceptively strong as it fought and wriggled aggressively, almost toppling her over. She rocked and swayed on her feet as the slippery parasite tried to wriggle free, hissing and spitting yellow bile from its maw. With fierce determination she kept herself relatively steady. There was no way she would lose, she had to protect Sesshomaru. Her reiki sparked at her finger tips and she pressed it on the parasite's tail, pouring her power along with all the hurt and bitterness into it, and purified the parasitic demon into nothingness.
"It is over," she whispered in the direction of Sesshomaru, he was unconscious and couldn't hear, but that wasn't the point.
A cleansing of immense proportion flowed throughout her system and washed away all the burdens of the past six months. Relief had her smiling, and weariness made her sleepy. She walked over to her lover and laid her body down and fell asleep almost instantly. She must have slept for hours when the pitter-patter of the rain against the roof woke her up.
In the dark she checked on the male beside her and he was still asleep and breathing evenly. She arranged the sheets over him and then got up and felt her way through the dark, and lit the lantern.
Her mind was on Sesshomaru and she wondered if he was alright. When would he would wake up and will he be whole once more? She worried because she had learnt that nothing in life was certain except death and pain. In the morning she sponged him down, he was flushed with a fever She wiped his damp forehead with the wash rag and whispered by his ear. "When will you wake up, and will you remember our time together?" He remained unresponsive, she sighed and continued to wipe him down.
Two days came and went by quickly and he was still unconscious, and yet she hardly left his side. She didn't want to anyway, she did not want to miss a thing. Well, she still had to take care of her personal hygiene and eat. Hurriedly she took a bath, brushed her hair away from her face, and stopped long enough to boil, make and drink some tea. After she was done with her morning ritual, quietly she opened her bedroom door; she did not want to disturb his rest.
As she entered the room she saw him sitting up on the futon. Their eyes met, stormy blues on brilliant gold. Cautiously she approached him because she wasn't sure what his mental state was as of yet.
"Sesshomaru, how are you feeling?" She asked him softly, and he opened his mouth to speak but a groan came out instead.
He cleared his throat then responded, "I am well."
She came a little closer maybe about two feet out of his reach and knelt down. "Would you like something to drink, perhaps some water?" He nodded yes, and she looked away disappointed and got up. She couldn't deny the renewed hurt and frustration now that it seemed as though he still could not recall her or their past.
She was almost through the door when her name on his lips stilled her movements.
"Kagome," it was a thin thread of sound, barely a whisper, but the way in which he said it gave her hope.
She turned around slowly, she could hardly breath and met his gaze again. She took a deep breath and prayed silently that he would say something to make her happy again. His lips moved and she closed her eyes with dreadful anticipation.
"I remember…I remember you my koi."
The words that that left his mouth was so soft and tender that it brought with it a glimmering light that shone straight through her chest and settled in her heart and soul. Kagome bit back a grin at his gentle statement, and as happy as she felt she had to be certain.
"Are you sure?" She asked him almost in tears, her eyes stung with unshed tears that she tried to hold back.
"Yes, I remember you, and I would prefer the fruit juice over the water."
She giggled and cried as tears of joy and happiness flowed from her eyes. "Oh Sesshomaru I am so relieved," she cried and ran into his awaiting arms, where he welcomed the woman that he had loved and had yearned for even when he could not remember her clearly. His heart and his body never forgot, and that simple truth had prevented him from becoming emotionally involved with his mate.
Getas - wooden footwear
Koi – term or endearment of 'my love'