"Oh shit."
"Oh shit is right. Are you high?"
"Oh shit."
"Mike?" The eyebrow that was raised at him did little to bring him down from his I'm way too high to actually respond to what you're saying moment. She straightened up. "Are you going to invite me in?"
"Uhh," he processed this for what felt like an hour, but opened the door, gesturing for Jessica to come inside. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting company."
She seemed more amused than anything as she took in the state of the apartment and then turned to face him. "I was under the impression that you passed your drug tests."
"I did, I uh… it's been a while." He shrugged, feigning innocence and trying to look as sheepish and apologetic as possible.
She surprised him by sitting down on the couch, picking up a joint from beneath a newspaper – so he had had more! – and lit it, bringing it elegantly to her lips. He didn't think it was possible to look that put together while smoking pot, but Jessica did it well. And wasn't this déjà vu?
"So why are you smoking?" She asked casually, resting an arm against the back of the couch and settling in.
"Why are you smoking?" He could do very little in this state – he probably wouldn't have done any better sober, under the circumstances – at hiding his supreme disbelief at the bombshell she was dropping on him in that moment. "I can't believe Jessica Pearson is smoking on my couch."
She smirked, offering him the joint, and he sat down and took it eagerly, taking a large drag before handing it back.
"I've been known to have a life outside of the firm." She winked. "Once in a while."
"Wow."
"Now are you going to answer my question?"
"Wow."
"Mike."
"I'm in love with Harvey."
Silence.
"What?"
"Oh shit."
Mike slumped himself backward on the couch with a groan.
"Did I actually just say that out loud?"
"You did." Jessica's eyebrow was raised, the joint dangling from her fingers as she watched the kid groan again and throw his arm back over his eyes where it belonged – protecting him from the world. "Wait, so is that why you left?"
"I'm too high for this!" He warned, mostly to himself, and jumped up from the couch, swaying dizzily as he poured himself a glass of water and drank it down fast.
"You know relationships are frowned upon in the office."
He nearly choked on the water, spitting it obnoxiously into the sink. "What?!" He turned around. "We are not in a relationship! If Harvey found out I had feelings for him he'd fire me for sure!" And then everything was suddenly clear. Or maybe he was staring at a haze of green, but Jessica was smiling wickedly at him and taking the last puff from her joint.
"Something you want to tell me, Mike?"
SUITS
They weren't too sure how it happened, but Mike had somehow managed to skirt the whole Louis issue and talk solely about his unrequited love affair, and Jessica had let him.
"So why don't you just tell him?"
"You're high."
"I'm really high," she agreed, laughing with at the turn their evening had taken. "But answer the question."
He sighed. "Harvey's the straightest guy in the world, and suffers from horrible satanic emotional constipation."
"You know it's bad when."
"Yeah." Mike nodded, completely missing that she was making fun of him. "If I told him he'd hate me and I'd lose him for good."
"And you haven't lost him now?"
It was supposed to be words of wisdom, a little advice for a lost soul, but it was more soul crushing than his poor lost soul new how to deal with. He sat back into the couch, staring ahead with the worlds most pained expression. "I've lost him. I've lost Harvey, haven't I?"
"Mike-"
"No, you're right. I messed up." He bent forward to put his head in his hands, and tugged ruthlessly at his hair. "It's for the best, isn't it?"
"I can't tell you that, Mike. I can only tell you that if it were me, at this point, I'd just tell him."
He nodded, rueful of his quagmire. Oh what a rotten hand he'd been dealt.