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Maybe it was the sense of joy that could be derived from happiness founded by satisfaction and completeness of the love of a woman, and pride from watching your children grow and flourish that made the harsh times bearable and the time go by quickly?
Only too aware of how short the period was that they had remaining in this castle, and he remaining as ruler and lord he said nothing as he watched Kagome and the children sprawled out on a huge blanket participating in the meal that she packed, the windy afternoon, the quiet chatter and shading them all were the tall and wide oak trees.
With her mouth chewing lightly on a piece of fruit, eyes distant, Taizo resting his head on her lap while lying on his side as she thought on their future. The child became much attached to her and would follow her everywhere she went; it would seem as though he had replaced his real mother with Kagome. Sesshomaru came to sit beside her when he saw how tired she became by the way her eyes drooped, and her mouth opening slightly catching quick breaths of air.
The missing portion of her soul was needed with urgency. She had confided in him that she had lived almost a year with half of it missing. It was recalled by a witch named Urasae who had used it to resurrect the long deceased priestess Kikyo. The news gave them hope at the time; maybe, just maybe she could live now as she had then. However, the optimism didn't last; Kagome now carried a part demon child with great powers derived from its youkai mixing and her priestess magic's, the child was an enigma, the first of its kind and required all her energies.
The babe in her womb grew rapidly because already there was a bump and yet she was pregnant for less than a month. The unborn fed off her powers depleting all her energies every other day; he had taken the task of feeding her his blood and youki so that she didn't wither and die. The feedings had to be done on a timely basis or else she could not get up out of bed, her skin would crinkle as if she had aged overnight, causing her flawless skin to lose its elasticity, healthy appearance and becoming deathly pale. The shedding of her lustrous hair on the sheets in the morning would make her cry; although it was something that she tried very hard to hide from him.
The frailty of her body had weakened his resolve after the first week that he returned her partial soul. In his study alone one night after she had fallen asleep he reached for his mother's scroll and read it. He was not surprised at the contents, it was a form of contract one in which he was asked to trade his empire for the other half of his mate's soul. Sesshomaru closed his eyes, lowered his head and shook it in thought. Losing his empire was a big loss, but what he gained in the process was what he needed, and it was invaluable.
Raising his head, he stood and looked around for awhile, the fruits of his hard work and exploits would soon be lost to him; and somehow that thought did not cause a moment of worry or regret. With that in mind he went to his room and told Kagome what had transpired when he went to hell to retrieve her core, and the contents of the scroll.
"No!" was her vacant and weak reply, a sob build up in her throat but she fought it pursing her lips together, but the tears she could not hold back. They came slowly at first, and then raced from her eyes non-stop in translucent streams. "Why must we lose everything to satisfy your mother?" she sobbed in his chest and grabbing onto his robe tightly as he held her close feeling her lithe form trembling in his hold. The sadness in her voice and her sickly appearance clenched his heart painfully with bitterness.
Tilting her tear stained face upwards he looked deeply into her wet blue eyes and kissed her lips tenderly. Clearing his throat to get rid of the raw edge lacing it, his voice came out thicker anyway and he responded. "We lose nothing Kagome; we have all that we require." It took but a moment for his revelation to sink in but when it did she knew that he was right.
The sobs subsided and with it her energies depleted once more, raspy breaths escaped from her lips. "It is time Kagome," he said so softly in her hair that her heart sank just to hear it; and even though his actions were a necessity, her very life depended on it, the grimness of that reality left her feeling weary.
The tearing of flesh on the underside of his wrist from razor sharp teeth was undesirable, it sounded like the hurried closing of a zipper causing her body to shiver, and she gulped in nervousness from the tightening in her throat.
Lowering his right limb to her mouth viscous blood dropped onto her face and into her eyes mixing in with the tears, blinking rapidly from the foreign entry into her orbs to clear them, she could have sworn that his eyes watered just before her trembling hands took a hold of his arm and brought it to her lips. The tangy taste of her mate's blood warmed her cool form as it slid down her throat syrupy and potent; and as she sucked and pulled on the wound, his eyes closed and so did hers. A moan escaped from both of their lips as Kagome's soft lips caressed his arm.
And after awhile, dulled and dried skin became supple and vibrant, thinning hair became luxuriant, and depleted energies replenished once more. She was young again, transformed by ingesting his blood. The vampirism indulgence was pleasurable to them; it was the only form of intimacy that they could partake in because Kagome was too weak and was fading quickly.
The danger passed and Kagome rests her head on Sesshomaru's shoulders deeply in thought. "I want us to remain as we are until the day we have to leave. I know that you want me to be well, but I want to stay here with you and the children until that time comes."
Gritting his teeth he said nothing, quietly contemplating his options. Kagome could not last for much longer without her complete soul with the demands of the child that grew within. "Kagome, I cannot…" Her voice broke his train of thought with her own. "I know that you are only trying to protect me, but the thought of your mother taking all that you have worked so hard for is unsatisfactory…Let her wait, I will not die so easily."
Giving her hand a gentle squeeze; his voice grew softer as he replied. "Alright, we will remain until the very end." Eyes flashed with happiness as he understood and agreed. "Thank you," she said, and slowly he pulled away leaving her alone in the big bed. Looking down on her he smiled although it did not quite reached his eyes. "Rest Kagome," he said and left the room.
The remaining weeks flew by quickly, their routine constant; they spent all their time together as a family with Inuyasha dropping by unannounced very often, his presence along with his mate and pups were very welcomed.
Sesshomaru approached the remaining council to bid them farewell and good luck. The specifics of his departure as head of the west were confided to the three he trusted. They were displeased to see him go but understood his perspective quite well. But serving under the evil and vindictive Lady Harumi painted a daunting image, it was a disturbing thought, and that was putting it mildly.
"Everything is ready," Kagome said resting a slim hand on one of the large carriages containing some of their belongings. Sesshomaru was very wealthy so they needn't worry about what they would leave behind. Her mate was standing closest to Ah-Un, his arms at his side, his mouth drawn in a straight line, while Jaken ushered the children into the carriages.
"How are you feeling Kagome," he asked as he could tell that she was struggling to stay on her feet by the way she leaned in on the horse. Lifting one shoulder in a sheepish shrug she answered. "I am fine," he suspected that she had tired herself out by preparing for their departure and tending to the children.
"Father, may I ride on Ah-Un?" Akiyoshi asked pleadingly wanting to show his maturity and independence from his smaller siblings. "Can we come too?" one of the twins asked, Akiyoshi frowned, knowing that his father was going to say no because the twins would cause a fuss if he were allowed.
Sesshomaru arched a brow, his son knew what that meant and took his sisters and placed them inside the carriage, then he entered still frowning. Kagome smiled happily even though they were being ousted from their home and lands, the situation should be depressing, but they were all contented knowing that as a family they would be together.
Sesshomaru nostrils flared lightly with the breath he took, the journey begins, the only unsettling feelings he had was that his dam explicitly outlined on the parchment that Seira should not be killed. He knew it to be unwise letting her live, but he had his honour and he would keep his word. Taking one last look he straightened and walked away with his family in tow.
It has been a month since he delivered Kagomes' soul from the belly of hell and back into her body, and now he would meet his dam at the base of the mountain nearest to his father's secret den. There he would retrieve the other half of his mate's soul so that she and their baby could thrive; and then he and his family could really begin to live.