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The emperor's bold declaration sifted through his mind slowly, like the stirrings of a dreadful, nightmarish headache. Glaring demonic eyes bored into the emperor's confident but wary human ones. None looked away as tension so thick spread around the room before settling on the skin uncomfortably.
He'd heard their whispers from earlier and had thought that he might have been mistaken; but even as he considered on it he knew that sentiment was highly unlikely, because he had exceptional hearing.
He was stunned speechless although rage and anger was at the forefront of his emotive expressions. Thoroughly disgruntled he let escape from his lips an animalistic growl that quickened the pulse of Masayoshi who dropped himself back down helplessly on his chair.
Sesshomaru dragged his attentions back to his companions after the emperor had lost his nerve, and noticed that the fox was studying him worriedly, in anxiousness for his mother, while Tora looked him squarely in the face with his intelligent and unwavering eyes. Immediately afterwards he thought about the impact all this would have on his mate if he should accept such a proposal.
He studied the humans seated at the table once more trying to reconcile their conversation with his earlier fear that his life with Kagome might soon come to an end. But try as he might he could not accept that fact, even though he knew intellectually that he may not have any other choice but to concede.
He turned his eyes away from them before he snapped out a retort that he would come to regret, holding his straining fist on the table, knuckles white from the sheer force of his anger. The room was quiet except for the breaths inhaled and exhaled as they all waited on him to say something.
He sighed quietly with a frown about his face, finding it difficult to believe how infuriating all this was turning out to be. His eyes closed with his head hanging low, while images of his life with his mate and children flashed before his eyes. Her sweet smile and sunny disposition always brightened any darkness inside him…
The years of pain, frustration, sacrifice, love and victory, he wouldn't change a thing, she'd made him come alive in a world of despair, filling his life with unrivalled magic and longing. How could he push her aside when she was the very air that he breathes? Nothing made sense if the road to absolution meant that he would have to destroy her to accomplish it.
The rattling on his conscience as he thought of her left him feeling weak, because he knew in his heart that he would not just cast her aside, he would fight to preserve what he loved. To hell with Bokenseno's prophesy, damn them all, his destiny would be one that he would forge with his own hands.
As his head came up with his resolve firm he saw the humans mumbling and smiling smugly among themselves. Sesshomaru's concentration was pretty much gone. Watching them talking and laughing like they hadn't a care in the world, while his own world was unraveling broke the last piece of thread holding is temper in.
He got up quickly with the quiet storm raging inside his heart, gaining everyone's attention; however, his back was turned to them as they waited. When he finally faced them his pinched expression made him look like a savage, feral animal. Sesshomaru's internal psychological torment had clearly taken its toll.
"How dare you!" he said, his tone suddenly filled with icy fury.
He stepped forward looking down intensely on the men seated at the table. "Do you have any idea who you are dealing with?" He challenged, as his heart began to flutter with despair.
The cold fury in the demon's stance and tone made the humans uneasy, however, the emperor refused to back down.
"We are both men that are desirous of a peaceful existence between our kinds." He replied, indignation clearly overcoming his intention to remain calm.
"We are males from royal homes and I am sure that you of all should understand my position, balance of power is my main objective among other things."
The emperor panted unevenly as he concluded his speech as if he had just darted a quick sprint, Sesshomaru continued to glare at him briefly before responding.
"What are you saying, are you impugning my sense of decency?" Sesshomaru asked.
The emperor nodded negatively before answering.
"I am not saying that you and your kind are without honor, neither can I claim that all men are true to their word, regardless of that I am their king and must safeguard their wellbeing," his gaze narrowed, "the choice is yours Sesshomaru sama, take it or leave it!"
For a brief instance afterwards there was complete silence, Sesshomaru glanced around the room once more; he would never discuss his family life with anyone. He would never try to reason with the emperor on that point, his personal life was his own.
His gaze leveled on the human ruler once again.
"I see your point, but why do you fear us so much?"
The emperor frowned but decided it was a reasonable question and responded. "Only a foolish being do not acknowledge power, but remember also, we as a people are not as powerless as you might think."
He absorbed all that the emperor had to say, quietly contemplating his options, which were few; the human was resilient and would not budge. He knew how to cope with anger and frustration. He'd learned from living in exile for almost thirty years. But feeling trapped and fighting destiny was a perplexing unknown, and a day, or even an hour earlier he would have thought himself incapable of such worthless fears. He didn't take the revelation lightly now.
"Taking more than one wife isn't uncommon in this time." The emperor said, filling the endless silence, and wondered also what had caused the demon lord's eyes to darken so much.
"Apparently," Sesshomaru replied, his voice tension filled.
With the slight flexing of his claws and a nod he strode out of the meeting room but not before telling Tora with his eyes to stall, he needed time away to think.
"He's gone," the prime minister said on a yawn.
Tora stood up and then addressed the humans. "My lord needs some more time to debate on the matter before deciding what he will do."
The emperor acknowledged Tora's apologies for his lord and moved to the open window, there he saw as Sesshomaru left the security of the castle walls.
"It is quite strange," the shogun repeated to no one in particular, "but I had a distinct feeling that the white haired lord feared marrying the princess…Does he perhaps prefer boys?"
As he said those words he looked to the two remaining demons who stared back at him with deep resentment. Tora moved to him first but it was Shippo who rose to tower over the human with intimidation.
"You are a lowlife who knows not what you speak about, and if I were you I would keep those thoughts to myself, lest he hear you speak so casually about him." The cutting remark silenced him.
Something in the young demon's eyes and mocking tone scared him and he remained silent, only sitting when the emperor interrupted.
"Tell your lord he has only two days to deliver his answer or the deal is off."
With that the meeting ended abruptly and everyone left.
Finding Sesshomaru wasn't hard because he had wanted them to find him. He scanned the emptiness around him looking over the horizon and on the blue waters of the ocean. He felt like he was at the deep end of it, and everything he holds dear in his heart was leaving him.
His companions when they caught up with him saw the barely masked fear chiseled on his face, and forced their gaze upon the water. None of them envied Sesshomaru's position right now; they felt his pain and the hurt that would be inflicted upon the woman that he loved; and his children would be devastated.
He felt the walls moved even closer and the water grew deeper, he was drowning in despair for Kagome and his children, and still he plunged deeper into the recesses of his mind trying to find a way out, unfortunately there was none. A voice came from some distance away disconnected his thoughts and rung with cold hard facts.
"Sesshomaru you must agree with the emperor, you have known that this day would come for nearly three decades, you cannot fight the destiny that the heavens have designed for you."
He whirled around and met the ginger eyes of his friend, the muscles in his arms flexing as he formed fists. This was a redundant point he knew that already; he could not run from fate, regardless, it was still a vexing matter.
Shippo's approach coming closer to him was a little disconcerting because he could see that the boy was most worried for his mother. He was there when she was hurt because of him all those years ago, and he could also tell that the boy was fiercely protective of her, and that he had not totally forgiven him for the pain he'd caused her.
The statement that he made thereafter was not at all surprising to Sesshomaru. "If you accept the terms of the agreement Kagome will never stay with you, and if she goes so will I, because I know that leaving you will surely kill her."
How could he argue with that? The fox was correct in his assessment of the situation, but he was supreme ruler of his people and had a terrible decision to make.
"I'm leaving; my presence here is not required." Shippo said stiffly.
"Where will you go?" Sesshomaru enquired softly, although he already knew the answer to the question.
"I will see you on your return to the west," he turned and left but stopped after having taken a few steps. "I will not say anything to my mother…My apologies my lord, the position that you are both in is an impossible one." Their gazes held a moment longer before it broke as Shippo walked away.
Left with his thoughts and his oldest friend by his side, Sesshomaru dropped his already failing iron façade, which had been crumpling from the first moment those wretched words left the lips of the emperor.
"I fear that I won't have a choice but to accept, the humans fear our power and wants some semblance of control…Marrying to forge an alliance is a time's old ritual."
Was he trying to convince himself of that fact? Tora wondered, as he listened to him.
Tora observed his friend while he'd spoken and saw that all the vigor had somehow been sapped out of him, his voice was calm like it always was, but it was toneless like a dying whisper, and his eyes were empty like a void. He knew however that he was not completely broken, but feelings of betrayal and subsequently hurting the woman that he loved as well as his children had weakened him.
Sesshomaru resembled his father in that moment like never before, contemplating the love of a woman and sacrifice. It was a difficult situation, one that would have him surrender a love that he cherished above all else for the longevity of his race. In retrospect it was a position that he never want to be in.
He considered carefully what his response would be before speaking, but decided that a direct approach would be best. Sesshomaru was a warrior and strong. His breed was one that was quite promiscuous, but he'd trained his mind and body to defeat his own nature.
Finding a woman that he loved and desired to be with for the rest of his life was not something to be taken lightly. It goes beyond what instincts and nature dictated to him. It was a love that was as timeless as it was unusual, only the kami's themselves could have ordained such a coupling. However, much more than the love of a woman was at stake.
Sesshomaru pondered his decision. Could he sacrifice a race of people for his love? And if he did could he live with such a choice?
Tora glanced in Sesshomaru's direction and saw that he hadn't moved from the spot that he was in; he stood rigid and straight with eyes focused on the sea. From this point he looked like a man defeated, but Tora knew better and tread carefully.
"Have you decided to accept the emperor's offer?" Tora asked.
Sesshomaru turned away from the sea and approached his old friend. "The emperor has decreed that you take him up on his offer in two days time or the deal is forfeited," he continued as Sesshomaru came to stand beside him.
Sesshomaru looked at his friend with interest although he was faced with immense pressure that tore at his soul, and then responded. "I will do as he asked."
The simple surrender was so heartbreaking that Tora gulped just hearing it. He saw the dispassion, the broken soul and depths of the character of a demon that he'd long considered his friend, and felt saddened for him.
Suddenly feeling repentant, although he had done nothing to be contrite about; other than to acknowledge that his friend had just ripped out his beating heart to save a dying race.
He did not want Sesshomaru to feel any worse, but one of the reasons why he had asked him to accompany on this trip was because of his subjectivity, and he would do nothing less now. He turned to him. "The merger will ensure our species survival…You will be in a position to influence laws to restrict the holy ones when the time comes."
Sesshomaru dismissed the statement made by not answering and asked a question of his own.
"Will she survive?"
Tora noted with a mixture of interest and confusion because he was oblivious to the question thrown at him. He had no idea what Sesshomaru meant. In time he answered dumbly. "What?" and then gazed at his friend curiously.
The Daiyoukai's eyes took on a far away appearance as a troubling thought occupied his head and heart. Guilt and sadness gnawed at his heart and conscience ever since he'd left the meeting and had realized that he would have to break his bond with Kagome, to achieve what both of them had worked so long and hard for.
"When I desecrate my bonds to my mate, when I give myself to another, will she survive it?"
Tora was astounded by the amount of emotions Sesshomaru poured into that one question; however, he had no answer for something that he'd never even considered before. Kagome could die so that they would have a better chance at survival.
Sesshomaru held his stare a moment longer before walking away when it became obvious that his loyal friend could not help him this time around.
Halfway between the beach and the bushes he stopped and said. "Tell the emperor that I agree; you know what it is that we want to achieve, outline them in the treaty. Wait for me there I will return in five days."
He had someone to seek out. No way would he let the woman that he loved perish in an unsightly way if he could prevent it from happening.