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The faded sunlight, snatches of light and dark made the atmosphere glum as Sesshomaru flew through its vastness. Somewhere inside him an ego driven rage sizzled. In fact he was fighting hard to control the reckless feeling as it bubbled to the surface. He wanted to rush back to drive his fury and rejection into the emperor's face. Tell him that the deal was off, that he wouldn't be manipulated by a coward, by a man who feared his power…
But he wouldn't, he decided. Knowing all these years that a dark cloud loomed over his and Kagome's love, and hoping in secret that it would be driven away by the ever changing tides of time, brought him no solace, as the tree spirit Bokunseno's word rang true. You may not have a choice…But he did have a choice, only it was one that he could not make.
His mate was selfless and would never go against him on this, because she knew how important an alliance was to them. She would rather give him up; give up everything to make his dream become a reality. But the sacrifice she would make, would it be too much to ask of her? He couldn't think of it any longer, as the immense weight of the burden felt like it would crash down on him at any moment.
His heart beat sped up and he gasped; he placed his palm over it and became still, while a worrying thought occupied his mind. Could the heart survive once love has been stricken from it? He already felt ill at heart, the place inside his chest where his heart should be felt barren like a wasteland. It felt in that moment like the years before he'd met Rin, cold and dark.
He couldn't love another, and that was a brutal fact, he didn't want or desired to be with anyone else other than Kagome. The princess would suffer greatly. He didn't know her yet, but already he was saddened by their misfortune. Many political alliances were shaped by marriages; his parents had such an arrangement. Look how that turned out.
Contrary to the life that he had lived with Kagome, he wished that she was a little different, especially now. He needed her, and although it goes against everything that he has come to believe in the last thirty years, he would marry the princess while keeping his mate at his side.
He smiled a bitter smile at the thought. Kagome would never agree to that, maybe she would try that arrangement for his sake, but he knew in his heart that it would kill her to do so. The only outcome he could visualize at the moment was their impending split. And his children would lose the only real mother that they'd have since they were small children.
He sighed and continued to fly in the direction of the tree spirit. He would get there tomorrow, and after that he would consult with Totosai.
sksksk
It was night time and the sky extremely dark, only the crescent moon along with a few stars hung in space barely lighting it, Kagome noted, as she sat on a sofa with her elbows resting on the window sill staring at the heavens.
"Mmmph," she sighed, "I wish that you were here with me, these five days without you have been hard," she whispered into the night…
Meanwhile her mate sat in the shallow waters of a river with his back against a large rock brooding and stared at a similar view. He recalled the life that he has shared with the woman that he would always love. He felt empty within and they were not yet apart. He sighed with the uneasy sensation and dared to wonder. Would only his memories of her remain after their bond was dissolved? Would she view his actions as betrayal and hate him? The thought pained his heart, for how could he survive knowing that he was going to hurt her terribly, a woman that had given so much to him without hesitation. He clenched his jaws hard. Whatever choice he made he would lose.
The thought was bitter, and if he was to remain true to his convictions he had to put the hopelessness aside. Bokuseno did not say that the situation was impossible; he however did say that if Kagome could weather the storm they would be alright. With renewed hope he exited the water, dried and redressed himself.
In the morning after not getting enough sleep, Kagome sat at the breakfast table and stabbed at the roasted chicken sitting on a platter. She shouldn't have bothered to prepare it because all the children had left already, and her mate had not returned.
The chicken had grown cold as well as the freshly baked bread. Glancing to the left she looked out the kitchen window and saw Shippo as he came towards the house, a pleased smile lit her previously grumpy expression. Mechanically she got up from the table and went to the front door to greet him.
"Hey Shippo, when did you get back?" She enquired brightly, because she assumed that if her son was back then maybe Sesshomaru was around.
"I got back last night," he replied unenthused.
Kagome glanced at him and found his eyes which were thoughtful, almost to the point of sadness. She took a couple steps back until she reached a chair and sat down, suddenly feeling tired and fearful. She shifted her gaze away breaking eye contact, and then wiped her palms on her apron that had grown damp from nervousness, Shippo was too pensive, and she knew him well enough to know that something must have gone awry with the negotiations.
She looked around the room following Shippo's movements as he entered the kitchen, and continued to watch until he returned a short time later with two glasses of water, and handed one to her.
She had a quick bright mind and after taking two gulps of the water she said candidly. "Don't hide anything from me; just tell me the bad news as it occurred."
Shippo heard the statement that she made clearly, more clearly than if she'd spoken it aloud. He opened his mouth to tell her everything, and in a sudden flash of enlightenment as he watched her anxious face he shut his mouth without uttering a word. He was just about to destroy his mother's life carelessly, and that prospect did not appeal to him at all, and besides, it was Sesshomaru's responsibility to let her know.
And in any case he'd promised the Daiyoukai not to say anything. She sank further into the chair as she watched her son's reactions and knew without a doubt that something terrible must have happened. She felt like crying, but she wouldn't. The last day that she and Sesshomaru had spent together before he'd departed had been filled with so much love, and they'd promised each other that no matter what happened they would be together. And she still believed every word. Then why did she feel so much dread creeping into her soul?
With her eyes closed she couldn't see the grimace on Shippo's face, but she felt the tension as he took her hand. "I am sorry mother but I cannot…I do not want to be the one to furnish you with information that may hurt you." He said and tried to smile to conceal just how much pain awaited her, but could not.
A muffled cry escaped her lips by the grave words. Shippo held her hand tighter. Her eyes opened slowly and she angled her head back. "Is he alright?" She asked concern, while worry etched deep into her blue eyes.
Shippo hesitated a few seconds, his jaws clenched tight before responding. "It's hard to tell, but under the circumstances he couldn't be."
"Where is he?" Kagome asked unhappily. Mindful of Shippo's feelings. She did not want to pressure him with questions he plainly did not want to discuss.
"I am unsure at this point in time," Shippo sighed wearily. "I left him and Tora on a beach in the east." Shippo got up to go; Kagome followed him to the door.
"I must go now, I will see you soon," he informed her. He said his goodbyes but never quite met his mother's eyes. Shippo didn't make it very far before Kagome called out to him.
"Wait!"
He stopped and turned around and watched while she approached him, and then came to a halt about two feet in front of him. He was torn seeing her so miserable and wished that he could make it better for her, but he couldn't. All he could do was to be there for her when the time comes, and that was a promise he would surely keep.
She was gnawing on her lower lip with her eyes downcast, trying to decide what she wanted to say. About ten seconds later her voice came. "I am sorry for the position mine and Sesshomaru's problems have placed you in. I know that you would tell me if you could…I am not angry with you...Okay."
If only it were that simple Shippo thought, as he met his mother's gaze and saw fear in her eyes; fear that deadened the once sparkling blue hues of her orbs. She took one step then another closing the gap between them. Her right hand came up and brushed loose strands of auburn hair behind his elfish ears.
"Much better," she said and gave him a wan smile.
He took the opportunity presented to hug her close, and for a long moment did just that. He pressed his face into her hair, felt the serene warmth of her body. The embrace was meant for comfort, though he hoped it would do so much more. He wanted to give her some of his fortitude, because in the days ahead she would need all the strength that she could get. Surprised at first Kagome did not return the embrace. He had not hugged her like that since he was a child, and so his actions now scared her even more. But when Shippo refused to let go, she realized the need and hugged him tight.
She became even more astounded and her eyes widened when she felt unimaginable wetness trickling down the side of her face. Shippo was crying, she didn't understand what was happening here, she couldn't think and so she held him more securely. Her lips parted to ask him what was wrong after a few moments, but he let her go suddenly and made a hasty retreat. Long after he'd gone she just stood there alone, feeling weak and confused.
sksksk
Bokuseno's forest loomed in the distance. Sesshomaru landed just outside the line of trees on the sand. He breathed easier knowing that he could trust the entity that he was going to visit; although, that sentiment was one that he would never share with anyone. He walked briskly as the warm sunshine rained down on him. And after a short time paused in front of an old tree and waited. Like before the tree sensed his presence and came to life...
"If you are here then it means that about thirty years has passed since I last saw you."
Sesshomaru nodded, yes.
"You are here about my predictions...Are you not?" Sesshomaru nodded again and waited.
"Young lord, son of the late Inu no Tashio you are faced with a terrible dilemma, one that you have already given much thought. If you refuse the emperor the hands of time will not turn in your favor, however, you have your own mind."
Profound words chimed into his ears and then settled on his conscience, however, he was not here for that alone, and so he dismissed the thought and asked his question.
"When our bond is broken will my mate die?"
Bokuseno squinted as Sesshomaru queried a very grave question. The young lord's affairs were a sad one; like his father before him he was placed in a terrible situation. Whatever choice he made would have dreadful consequences. He pitied him at the moment, and with a sigh he offered him some advice.
"If the will to live is strong then your mate may survive, however, feeding her some of your power prior to breaking the mating bond will help. Nothing is certain at this point, but you already know that."
He took one last look at the tree spirit not entirely convinced, turned the other way and made his exit; however, the voice of the tree spirit halted his movements.
"Why didn't you share the dismal news of your species demise to the emperor?"
The sadness extended from his gaze to his voice when he spoke this time. "It was Kagome's idea; she did not think it wise. My mate suggested that I be tactful, hence not upsetting history and the future too much," he paused at that point, and Bokuseno wondered briefly what he thought about, then quietly he continued. "To reveal such a thing would have made us seem desperate and vulnerable."
Bokuseno did not respond verbally, he only blinked a couple of times, Sesshomaru turned and left. He had to find Totosai.
sksksk
Princess Maemi stood on a balcony overlooking the garden and watched while the gardener trimmed the flowers and hedges. She turned in surprised when she was startled by her mother.
"Daughter your brother the emperor has decreed that you will be the bride of the demon king. His aide has just confirmed us that he has accepted the proposed alliance."
Her fingers tightened on the wooden rails as her heart jumped into an uneven rhythm. "Mother I can't, please dissuade him," the young princess cried.
"You fool," she said fiercely, turning on her step daughter.
The princess's eyes quickly lost their glazed expression, flashing at her mother with the same combination of fear and anger that she felt inside her head. "I will go to my brother myself," she said raising her voice angrily.
"Calm down daughter!" Her mother ordered.
The woman gently took the princess by the arm and led her inside. "There is no point in going to see your brother now," she advised, "all the documents have been signed and you will marry the demon in seven days."
Compelled by quickening panic, princess Maemi gave her step mother a furious glare, because she did not know who to trust anymore.