'And then.' Jack laughed as they moved though the Hub. 'The Brigadier looked at Hartman and said; I didn't ask for your nomination for an OBE, just your report.'
Ianto's laugh stopped short as he walked into the kitchen. 'Wha-?'
'Ianto?' He peered around the man's shoulder in confusion.
'I sodding well cleaned this place up.' Indicating the collection of take out containers now littering the bench along with a pile of plates, cups and assorted cutlery. 'There is a dishwasher, they do know this don't they?'
Jack shrugged. 'I guess so.'
'Right, okay, I'll be in my archives then.'
'Um, Ianto?' He watched as the man turned towards him, the smile chilling.
'Yes?'
The tone sounded sweet but Jack wasn't fooled, deciding what he was about to say really wasn't that important. 'Nothing, I'll be in my office if you need anything.'
'Not likely.'

Jack sighed as Ianto strode though the Hub, vanishing into the archives. The highly efficient young man had been a borrowed part of their team for a short time and he'd already made his presence felt. He'd stayed when he could have headed to back to London as they'd dealt with what they were all calling the Powdered Alien Goo Incident. He had even cleaned the Hub up, unfortunately the rest of the team hadn't really taken all that long to mess it up again. Thanks to Ianto, Tosh was able to access more of their records though the mainframe, and Ianto sharing his log-on for the main Torchwood servers was invaluable. Of course, it didn't hurt that he was a very attractive young man who made orgasmic coffee and the Welsh vowels made him all but swoon. Jack sighed at the direction his thoughts were moving in and stopped it there, least he have to pop down to his bunker for some alone time.

Instead Jack surveyed the Hub, which was fast becoming the same disaster zone that had offended the Welshman's sensibilities upon his initial arrival. Tosh and Suzie had maintained their work stations, which he decided was an improvement, but the number of plates on the kitchen bench couldn't have been solely Owen's. Jack shook his head as he contemplated life absent Ianto's coffee, thankful he'd at least brought a coffee machine for home use. He was even hoping that one day Ianto would actually let him use it.

Right now however, he had to concede that the man had a point, he'd sent Ianto home early on Monday with Tuesday off. Ianto had called Lisa about coming to London for the night but she had been unable to arrange time off work so told him to spend time with his family instead. In the space of that absence, the background clutter of the Hub had morphed into a full on mess. He was tempted to intervene but instead Jack decided to let it play out and see what would happen.

Tosh arrived promptly at eight thirty and called out her hello before looking around the Hub. There was usually a coffee waiting for her but today there was only an empty cup leftover from Monday. Suzie followed a few minutes later, she too had a quick look around the room before heading to her work station. But it was the arrival of Owen that put everything into play as the medic strolled in at nine twenty. Pie in one hand and a giant energy drink in the other as he too looked around.

'Oi, where's my fucking coffee?' Tossing the empty can at a bin and shrugging as it bounced out, clattering to the floor.
Drawn by an inner sense of timing Ianto chose that exact moment to emerge from the archives.
'Teaboy, didn't you hear me?'
Ianto smiled. 'I think they heard you out in the Plass.'
'Yeah alright, coffee, now.' He paused. 'Please.' Added as an after thought as an inner sense of doom suggested something wasn't quite right.
The next word out of Ianto's mouth stilled the Hub.
'No.'

Jack watched his team. Tosh looked disappointed, Suzie shrugged but Owen puffed up.
'What?'
'I said no, Owen. I'm sure it's a word you're familiar with.'
'Steady on mate.'
Ianto shook his head and pointed at the pile of energy drink cans lying on the floor around the bin. The same brand as the one Owen had just tossed at the bin and left where it fell. 'I did not make that mess, and as it happens, I have checked my job description. It says Archivist, not teaboy and certainly not cleaning lady.'

Jack watched as Ianto's smile never wavered, it never reached his eyes and like his steady gaze, it never warmed up. He wasn't surprised to watch Ianto simply walk away from the spluttering medic.
Owen looked over at Jack as if asking him to do something, getting no responce he shrugged. 'Teaboy will break before I do.' He tossed the last of his pie in the bin and headed to his own work station.
Tosh sighed as she gazed after Owen, a look of longing that left Jack wondering if it was her crush on the medic, or if it was for the coffee Ianto wasn't making. Jack also wondered who would indeed break first, his medic or the archivist.

It only took the two days until Friday, for Jack to get an answer to his question as he walked into the Hub to find Owen wearing what looked like a pinny and pair of yellow washing up gloves. What he hadn't anticipated was Tosh and Suzie standing side by side, arms folded across their chests as they watched Owen. Who was currently muttering and cursing up a storm as he loaded the dishwasher. Rubbish bags filled with empty cans and to go coffee cups were stacked to one side while Ianto sat on the sofa under the Torchwood sign and sipped from a cup. Setting it on the saucer as Jack walked in, Ianto nodded in greeting. His smile soft as he looked over at Owen and reached for a pastry on the plate next to him.

Jack joined Ianto on the sofa and reached across the young man for the last pastry. 'Who broke first?'
Ianto's laugh was pitched low and Jack found he had to think of phone calls to UNIT and filling out reports to avoid all the blood in his brain pooling in his groin.
'I suspect it was Tosh, if you check the CCTV footage you may find your proof. She might look delicate and act ladylike but she's made of sterner stuff.'
Jack grinned. 'Oh I know, that's why I picked her for my team.'
'Either way, I walked in to find her and Suzie standing over Owen, the pinny was my idea.'
'Does this mean you'll be making coffee again?'

Ianto took his cup and nodded before taking a sip. 'I'm here to clean the archives, not your kitchen.'
'Oh that's something I don't think Doctor Harper will be forgetting that any time soon.' Jack chuckled. 'I hope the girls took some photos.'
Ianto nodded. 'I believe you should check your emails Sir.'
'And are you going back to London tonight?'
'Ah no, Lisa is off to the Costa Brava with a couple of her girlfriends. They take turns picking different beach resorts and go away for the weekend twice a year.'
'And do you get a boys weekend?'
Ianto shook his head. 'Not my thing.'
'So what would you have been doing for the weekend?' Jack watched as Ianto's cheeks coloured. 'Ianto Jones, what is your guilty pleasure?'
'James Bond movies.'
Jack leaned back laughing. 'Oh I should have known, Jones, Ianto Jones. Well don't let me stop you, I'll even get the popcorn in.'
Ianto grinned. 'I did bring a few DVD's with me.' He looked up as he saw Owen walking towards him, stripping his gloves off.

'Oi, teaboy, I've cleaned your damn "it's not in my job description" kitchen. Now make me a bloody coffee.' Stripping the pinny off he tossed it in a bin. 'Please?'
Setting his cup down Ianto rose to his feet and nodded. 'Of course.'
Ianto walked back into the Hub carrying dinner for the team while talking on his phone. 'Lisa, it's Monday, I don't know what's going to happen by the weekend but of course I'll try to get home on Friday night.'
'I haven't seen you for over three weeks now, and you missed my birthday.'

He debated pointing out he had been given time off to see her last week but she'd told him to stay where he was. 'I know, I wanted to be there.' He heard the sound of their flat intercom as Lisa's footsteps echoed though the phone, her cousin's voice calling a hello.
'Look, I have to go. Sandy's here, she wants to try a new tapas bar that just opened.'
'Okay, and I will try and get back this weekend.'
'Yeah, I know.'
Ianto ended the call, tucking his phone away as he set the plastic bag with dinner onto the conference room table.

Owen looked up as he was handed his kebab. 'You're late.'
'They took as long as they usually do Owen.'
'No.' He unwrapped his kebab, about to take a bite. 'The Phone Call. You usually ring her earlier than this.'
'Yeah.' He sat down with his own kebab as the others moved in to join them, their meals placed in their usual seats. 'Busy day all round really.'

Since their showdown over the mess in the kitchen, the archivist and medic had worked out a begrudging friendship. They still existed on a steady diet of snark and caffeine but Owen now put his cup in the dishwasher at the end of each day. He also put his rubbish in the bin, rather than tossing it in the general vicinity and operating more on good luck than good aim to get it in. The threat of Suzie and Tosh absent Ianto's coffee, was more than enough for him to toe the line.

Tosh looked up from her salad and reached for the hummus. 'When is Lisa coming to Cardiff? I know I'd like to meet her.'
Jack was the only one close enough to hear Ianto's sigh, knowing this was a bone of contention between them. He even felt a little guilty at how much he enjoyed having Ianto around, knowing there was no fixed end date in sight even after three weeks.
'I've asked her to come to Cardiff, but she has a busy social life in London.'

'And how did the two of you meet?'
Owen nodded as he pointed his kebab at Suzie. 'Excellent question.'
Tosh rolled her eyes. 'They both work for Torchwood in London, how do you think they met.'
'Are you expecting me to believe.' Owen scoffed. 'That their eyes met over the fish fingers in the company cafeteria and it was love at first sight?'
'They don't serve fish fingers in the cafeteria any more.' Jack cut in. 'Not since the incident involving the Dakakan in the late nineties. I mean how was I supposed to know their visiting scientist would be offended by how I ate my fish fingers.'

'To be fair Jack.' Suzie pointed out. 'I don't think it would have made much difference what you'd been eating. They say Nigella Lawson does food porn but she's got nothing on you.'
'What, I like food.' He grinned, not looking at all offended. 'Besides, I made it up to said visiting scientist, several times, as I recall.'
Ianto frowned. 'I wasn't aware Dakakan and human's had compatible anatomy. And never mind the slime they produce when they get too dry.'
Jack winked. 'Self lubricating.'
'Oi, Tosh, grab the keyboard and whistle us up the file on these Dakakan's I don't even know what they look like.' Owen smiled as he nodded his head encouragingly.

Tosh looked to Jack who gave her a nod and a shrug as Ianto handed her the wireless keyboard. She began typing until they were all looking at an image of something straight out of a cartoon. The Dakakan had what looked like tentacles for legs, no real shape to the body and gills on the side of it's distinctly fish like head.
'Well no wonder the walking sushi bar didn't like you eating fish fingers.'
Jack grinned. 'That wasn't what it said when I'd finished with it. They are a hermaphrodite species that live mainly on a damp, swampy planet that does terrible things to my hair. It's the high humidity.'
'Jesus in a dress Harkness, thank Christ we aren't eating sushi right now.'

Jack shrugged. 'You asked.'
'Well I wish I hadn't now. Turn it off Tosh, I don't want to know any more.'
Ianto hid a grin as he concentrated on his kebab. He knew the team weren't sure what of Jack's stories to believe, and what were exaggerations or even total lies. He wondered how they would feel if they knew the man very rarely exaggerated anything.
Owen looked back at Ianto. 'But you haven't answered the question, how did you meet Lisa, in fact, based on your resume, how did you even get a job at Torchwood in the first place?'
Jack watched Ianto, hoping the man would answer the questions he'd been considering himself since meeting the Welshman.

Ianto shrugged. 'I was working in a cafe near Canary Wharf and this woman kept coming in for coffee, she looked like a model.' He smiled as he pulled his phone out, scrolling though the menu to find a photo of Lisa. 'We started talking and she told me her boss was looking for some entry level staff to help with some filing. I eventually went in for the aptitude testing and they hired me, which was about three and a half years ago.'
'So.' Tosh looked like she was calculating the maths. 'That means you've been working for Torchwood longer than all of us except Jack.'
Ianto nodded. 'I believe so.'

Owen handed the phone to Suzie and gave a low whistle. 'She's wasted on you teaboy.'
Ianto took his phone back. 'I wonder sometimes but she's the one I can see myself marrying.'
Jack clapped him on the shoulder. 'Hold onto that Ianto.'
'And keep her away from Jack and fish fingers.' Owen said, nodding.
Tosh smiled at Ianto. 'Well I think it's sweet.'
'That, Tosh.' Owen reached for his coffee. 'Is because you're a romantic in a cynical world.'

Suzie smiled. 'I think it's nice that anyone can do this job and still believe in love.'
'You don't?' Tosh asked.
She shook her head. 'No Toshiko, I do not.'
'When did you stop believing in love?'
'Probably about the time my mother left my father and me, for the mailman.' She shrugged. 'Kind of hard to believe the whole fairy tail after something like that.'

After Owen finished putting the dishwasher on for the evening he turned to Tosh and Jack who were currently huddled at her desk. 'So where's this rift storm that's kept us here past our bedtimes?'
Tosh looked over her glasses at him and shrugged. 'It's not that late, nor is it an exact science predicting rift activity you know.'
'Why not? They can predict the weather pretty accurately these days, can't you use the same algorithms for the rift or something?'

'First of all.' Suzie looked up from the sofa and the book she was reading. 'This is Cardiff, if you tell everyone it's going to rain you're probably right, nothing special about that. You've been watching too much television again.'
'No, I reckon it's a reasonable question. Why can't she use weather forecasting software to predict the next rift cluster fuck.'

'Because there isn't a database of rift activities and a matching satellite to accompany the historical data behind that sort of prediction based software. And.' Suzie pointed out. 'This isn't about reading weather patterns in atmospheric conditions.'
'Why can't we have a satellite?' Owen asked.
'I am working on compiling the historical data relating to rift activity so I can factor that into my prediction algorithms, Ianto's been helping me put that together.' Tosh interjected. 'But since the rift is fixed here in Cardiff and not at the other end, it's only ever going to be about a best guess for now.'

'So we're stuck twiddling our thumbs when we could be out there, in the real world, having sex. With actual people.' Owen dropped onto the sofa next to Suzie and turned to her. 'How about it Costello, fancy tripping a ride aboard Doctor Owen's thermometer? I could take your temperature.'
'Have you been taking those pills again, the one's that are supposed to make you funny, or did you finally get your money back? You really should stop shopping online.'
'Now who's being funny.'

She picked her book up and glared at him before she began reading.
Owen shrugged. 'What about you tea boy? You look pretty fit.'
'I am rather fit, but I don't believe the world has ended.'
'Your loss mate.'
'Oh I highly doubt that.' Ianto muttered in Welsh.

'Children, children, children. I'm the one who's supposed to make the bad jokes like taking someone's temperature with my thermometer. And I'm the only one who should be flirting with our archivist.'
'Ah, I am in the room.'
'Yes Ianto, you are. But I'm pulling rank over this. The rest of you are to stop flirting with Ianto, immediately.' He watched as Ianto nodded and gave Owen a look and a shrug as if to say, "sorry, Captain's orders". 'But if this rift spike doesn't happen soon you can all go home.'
'Define soon, Harkness.'

Jack was about to respond when the rift alarm sounded. He shrugged instead. 'Tosh? Talk to me.'
Owen snorted. 'Whatever it is, I hope it's not in bloody Splott again.'
She shook her head. 'It's pronounced Sploe, and no, it isn't there this time.'
'Then were is it, and what is it and do I get to shoot at it?'
Tosh's eyes grew wide as she confirmed the location. 'It's ah, about to happen in the Plass.'
Jack looked over her shoulder. 'Oh yeah, so it is.' He grinned as he turned to his team. 'Gear up kids and don't say I don't take you anywhere nice.'

'But you don't take us anywhere nice.' Owen said as he checked his gun was loaded and secure in his holster before checking his medical kit.
'There's always one.' Jack muttered before turning to Ianto. 'So um, since it's in the Plass you better stay here. As masterfully as you wave your gun around, I don't want you out there.'
Ianto snorted. 'I think you over estimate my desire to get shot at Sir. I'm quite happy to stay here.'
Tosh looked up from her computer. 'Do you need me in the Plass?'
Jack shook his head. 'Keep the comms on, both of you, and we'll check it out.'
Ianto watched as Tosh followed the team on the CCTV feed. 'Any idea what it is yet?'
'I'm getting an atomic energy signal.'

Jack clicked his comms on. 'What chemical signature is it Toshiko?'
'I'm getting molybdenum and fluorine with traces of colbalt.'
'Sounds like our visitors are from the Vanoxian Sector.'
Owen also joined the conversation. 'From your tone and the look on your face Jack I'm not getting to shoot anything am I.'
Jack laughed as he turned to the medic, holstering his webbly. 'That would be a no Owen, Tosh, how much colbalt are you picking up?'
'It's at two parts per million, is that important?'

'All details are important. It's likely a family ship, something that holds between four and ten Anoxian. How long before they reach atmosphere?'
'You should be getting a visual any minute.'
Suzie turned, surveying the night's sky. 'I'm assuming that isn't a shooting star.'
'Nope.' Jack agreed. 'No point making a wish on that. Tosh, we have our visual.' He grinned as a cloud of what looked like dust the size of a mini cooper landed at their feet.

Ianto's voice came out across the comms units. 'We may have found your people Owen.'

'What are you on about teaboy?' Owen frowned as he watched a hatch open.

Ianto grinned as he read though the data on record concerning the Anoxian, he had presumed there was a file because Jack had clearly encountered them previously. They were a small mammalian species, growing to about two feet tall they looked like a cross between a fox and a weasel but without a tale. The file noted a strong familial link often seen in travel groups and other than sharp teeth, they were apparently harmless.
Tosh sighed softly as she shook her head at Ianto, clicking her comms off so only the archivist could hear her. 'He's not going to be happy.'

Ianto snorted, his own comms on mute so he could hear but not be heard. 'Does he even know how to be happy?'
'Your coffee is the closest thing I've ever seen to anything that's made him smile in the time I've known him.'
'Ah.' Ianto smiled as he heard Owen's voice filled the comms channel.
'Oh you are a funny bastard tea boy.'
Tosh turned back to the CCTV footage as they saw Owen shaking his head as the Anoxian removed it's helmet. 'Yeap, he's worked it out.'
Ianto shrugged. 'It was an inevitable conclusion to reach.'
'Laugh it up, you just wait for your next physical.' Owen looked at a camera in the Plass and nodded to Ianto.
'I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of the decaf I was making you. Could you repeat that, Dr Harper?'

Tosh didn't even try to hide her grin at the completely straight look on Ianto's face. She wondered how he did it, he said the most outrageous things at times and just looked so dead pan. Did he practice the expression in the mirror or had life carved Ianto into the form of a classical study of man in marble. Poised in his three piece suits and brightly coloured shirt combinations, with the small, barely there smile. And eyes, no statue could capture the mischief dancing in those eyes. Eyes a rival to Jack's for all they laughed but looked so old.

And then there were the exchanges between Jack and Ianto that left her wanted to squeal like a proverbial fan girl. She had, at times considered that if it not for Ianto's girlfriend, would Jack do more than just flirt with the intriguing younger man. She shook her head as she focused on tracking the team out in the Plass. Jack was speaking to the six visiting alien's who had disembarked from their ship. They communicated in a series of squeaks and chirping barks as they gestured with what she hoped was excitement as Jack crouched to their level. Producing what she took to be travel documents for Jack to look over they then filed back into their ship before vanishing out into the night's sky. Presumably to resume their journey as the rift was still open.

She hoped they got back where they belonged, they looked cute but the teeth were visible on the CCTV footage and looked like they could chew though concrete. They wouldn't be the easiest aliens to try and blend into living with humans if they had to stay.

Jack lead Owen and Suzie back into the Hub via the hidden lift and found Ianto relaxing on the sofa with cups of coffee waiting on his tray. Owen crossed the distance first and paused before reaching for his customary mug. One that proclaimed him the world's sexiest Doctor.
'This isn't decaf now is it?'
Ianto shook his head. 'Would I do that to you?'
Suzie barked a laugh. 'Yes.' Reaching for her own mug of Ianto's elixir like coffee. It was a pale pink mug showing Hello Kitty holding a hand gun, she'd found it in the back of the cupboard her first day on the job and claimed it as her own.
Jack's usual cup, blue and white striped, was the only one left on the tray as Ianto crossed his ankles and sipped his own cup of coffee. Looking like he knew the world's secrets he smiled over his delicate white cup while holding the saucer in his other hand. 'Crisis averted I trust.'
'This time.' Jack grinned. 'Anyway, you lot, finish your coffee and go home.'
Owen snorted. 'Home? I'm off to the pub.'
'On the pull Owen?' Suzie asked.
'Jealous?'

She shook her head. 'No, just like to know which bars to avoid so I don't have to watch you getting slapped.'
'No one slaps me darling, unless I ask them to.' He winked before finishing his coffee and heading to the kitchen.
Suzie just shook her head. 'What was I thinking?' Before she too finished her coffee. 'Well good night all. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe this time we'll find an alien that will take Owen off our hands.'
Tosh sighed softly but said nothing as she set her mug of green tea down and turned back to her computers.

Jack exchanged a look with Ianto and nodded. 'Toshiko Sato, you should come home with us. I have a spare room and Ianto has the entire collection of James Bond dvd's, with commentaries. I think you should join us for the rest of the evening.'
She spun her chair back around to face her boss. 'Hang on, you're inviting me to your house?'
'I believe so.' He slipped an arm around her shoulders. 'Since no one got to blow anything up the evening feels somewhat anticlimactic. So come home with us and we'll live vicariously though the bad science of seventies action movies.'

'I believe we are up to George Lazenby's 1969 in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Sir.'
'Fine, we're up to 1969. Which was an excellent year to be on the Secret Service as I recall.'
Tosh laughed, never quite taking Jack seriously with a comment like that as she nodded. 'Alright, but do you have popcorn.'
'I should have a few bags left over from the weekend.' Jack held his arm out to Tosh. 'Come on, Ianto will drive us home and we shall find out together.'
'Does Ianto always drive?'
Jack pouted as he nodded. 'He refuses to let me drive. He's no fun Toshiko.'
Ianto rolled his eyes as he collected his now empty coffee cup up, and followed Jack and Tosh though the Hub.

Back at Jack's, after Tosh explored the house they sat watching the movie while Ianto laughed. Tosh and Jack were both throwing popcorn at the television at the idea the lead protagonist, Blofeld, was able to brainwash women into tampering with the food supply. Both giving their own reasons why his plans wouldn't work.
'You are so cleaning that up, and I am going to stop watching movies with you two if you don't stop it.'

Tosh sat between the two men. 'I'm sorry Ianto but the plot holes in the science.-'
He cut her off. 'No Tosh, it's a movie.'
Jack nodded. 'He wont let me talk if we're watching anything with aliens in it either.'
'Well if you didn't spend the majority of the movie telling me what's wrong with the science or the alien or about their sex lives I'd probably let you talk.' Ianto sat back and glared at the older man as Tosh sat there giggling between them.

She wanted to accuse them of being like an old married couple but instead she decided to enjoy being allowed to share their friendship and company as she settled back into watching the movie. Even if she wasn't allowed to point out the flaws in the plot. She let this replace the loneliness that had begun to creep into her thoughts. She'd lost count of how long she'd spent locked in UNIT's cells until Jack found her.

He hadn't just rescued her then, but he kept rescuing her now, even when if it was just in keeping biscuits in his draw. For the days when he thought she needed it the most and with his perception he was usually right. She let him fold her into a hug as he seemed to know she needed one and just settled into his warmth. Warmth that, while it had always been there, was less hidden around Ianto. Leaving her dreading what would happen when their borrowed archivist finally returned home.