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It wasn't long before she'd awakened, and he saw as the memories flooded her mind and as she sighed deeply. He saw too as she rests her head into her palms and shook it vehemently, and he could only assume that she questioned whether or not his presence had been real or a figment of her imagination.
He watched consumed with misery and longing as her hands dropped lifelessly to the sides, and as her head slowly lifted. Searching eyes glanced around the room many times seeking assurance, but she would not find it, because he had decided to leave. Just the thought that his nearness brought her more pain was reproach enough on his conscience.
He felt dirty and ashamed as he remembered the many nights he'd found relief in the depths of another woman's body. He didn't deserve her, and although there were more than enough good reasons to substantiate his actions, at the moment none of them made him feel any better.
Without their bond and the heightened awareness derived from it she could not pinpoint his location, though he wasn't very far, he stood just outside the window. He saw as she got up and hobbled around the room, opening doors looking for him.
The moment she gave up, resigned herself to his departure and sat back down was when his heart began to ache. Unable to look away he watched as she cried, her lips quivered and her body shook with uncontrollable sobs. Guilt washed over him, it encased his heart and soul in a hold so strong that a burning began in his chest. He closed his eyes against the sharpness of the pain, gritted his teeth and became deeply contemplative and repentant. He was right; he should not have come here.
Ignoring the urge to run to her, take her into his arms and love her like there was no tomorrow, no reality only them, he walked blindingly away. Some foliage he'd stepped on crunched at his feet in his anguish that he had not seen.
Her head came up in an instant and the tears subsided immediately by the distinctive sound, she knew what it was; She could not sit still anymore, she had to know why he was here; and there were so many questions in her head that needed answers. She had to find him. Kagome gathered the long fabric of the robe that she wore above her calf and ran from the house in a hurry.
With no thought for her safety and barefooted she rushed into the outdoors, the sky had gotten darker and the moon hid behind thick shadowy clouds, and he was nowhere in sight. She hadn't any real idea which direction he went, he could have flown off and be long gone for all she knew.
Uncertain now she looked back in hesitation at the house which seemed further away, and only the lantern burning in the window would be her guide back home. It was tempting, the need to return to her home's familiar shelter, but she would not.
She hastened her steps as lightning flashed across the sky, the first sprinkling of rain hit her in the face as she looked up. Oh no! She gasped, as the clouds pregnant with precipitation would soon burst.
Dread filled her up as angry clashes of thunder hit some trees in her path, one splintered and the branches smashed into the ground like a boulder.
"Sesshomaru," she screamed with fright at the top of her lungs, "where are you?" The torrential rain poured and the thunder clapped and trembled throughout the land. She screamed again louder than before.
The sudden downpour swiftly turned the earth into shallow quick sand and she sank deeper into the muddy depths. It took great effort to take a step, only to sink once more, and not only into the muck, but into the pits of despair.
He had heard the high pitched wail of his name from her terrified voice and stopped, and though it was broken up by the angry gashes of lightning and the sound of the thunder, he had still heard and it was enough. He couldn't believe that she would have followed him all this way in her condition. But that did not matter now, she needed him and he would be there for her.
As he hurried back, he was determined to take care of her especially now since he'd messed things up so badly. She cried out again, and the undeniable ache that welled up in his heart from hearing those cries urged him on with a savage mindset. Not even the rain and thunder would stop him.
sksksk
Showers burst forth from the skies without much warning and the lightning and thunder that followed afterwards were terrifying with intensity. Shippo knew that he had to find shelter for the children immediately. He changed the course and direction of his journey and flew towards a mountain side cliff, where he knew some caves existed. It would be ideal against the fierce downpour.
Sesshomaru flickered in and out of form as he moved unseen by human eyesight. When he found her she was standing in a clearing stuck in the mud with her eyes tightly closed. A heavy burden fell away from his heart as he saw her there.
She was scared but unharmed. As he approached he shook his head slightly, he still could not believe that she had made it so far on her own in her condition, and he knew full well how terrified she was of thunder storms.
"Kagome," he called sharply, as he came closer.
She opened her eyes and saw him, immediately his name formed on her lips. However, the breath that she would need to get the word out died on a gasp, as he moved like a ghost and closed the space between. He swept her up into his arms and a shiver shook her, and she wasn't sure if it was the cold or his presence, which one affected her more?
He held her tight and she hugged him close, his neck a life-line for her fear. The wind and the rain still lashed against her skin, and with each clap of the thunder she burrowed her head deeper in his chest.
Perhaps it was intuition or wishful thing on his part, but a sudden discernment clung tightly to his soul and would not let go. He felt it in his pounding heart that the heavens wept bitterly for them, be it fate or luck, their time together on this plane was not yet done. His spirit soared by the thought, and he could swore that Kagome had just smiled. It was quick, but he had felt its outline as she nestled her face even deeper against his chests.
She shivered constantly from the cold, he hastened his steps. At the house he put her down, their clothes hung heavily from their bodies sodden with rain. The weighted sensation along with the raging storm only added to the intrigue.
Awareness sparked off them, sharp as the lightning decorating the sky, nothing was amiss, and though their bond was broken, their hearts yearned and strain to be connected once more. He focused on her immediate needs, denying the yearning to solely care for her.
Without a word spoken he took her to the bathroom and washed her feet, ridding it of the sludge. She was still cold and used her hands to rub her arms up and down trying to ward off the chill.
She did not object and stood still while he did what came naturally and removed the wet sleeping kimono from her body, leaving her completely naked before him. She didn't even blush, what would have been the point. He was the first and only male to see it all, and as she stood with her swollen belly and breasts, and he stared, kami forbid, she still loved him dearly.
Seeing her like this, naked and ripened with his seeds, and absolutely beautiful had always brought to the fore his more refined qualities of tenderness, protection and care.
He reached for a fresh towel off the stack and wiped her dry, and then slipped another robe about her shoulders, while raindrops splattered the ground around the house and pelted the rooftop relentlessly.
The next charge of lightning sizzled and was mind jarringly close. She jumped with fright and fell onto him, he held her tight, and his hot body warmed her through, though he was still very wet.
Mindful of that fact she looked up and said. "Take the soiled clothes off; I will go fetch something warm for you to wear." He nodded yes.
When she returned a short time later with a towel and a fresh yukata he was completely bare, his naked body caused her to gulp; it was one sight that she would never tire of. He was lean, sexy and well endowed.
He took the garments offered and covered his body, while she attempted to dry her hair with the towel; it wasn't as easy as it seemed because her arms were still numb from the cold. He saw the predicament and tugged on the cloth lightly and she let it go.
"Sit down Kagome," he said softly.
She sat and allowed him to towel dry her hair, it was so soothing that soon she felt like sleeping, she suppose the tiredness was due to her earlier anxieties. When he was finished, she left the room and returned with a brush.
"Let me attend to your hair," she said to him and waited for his response.
He didn't say anything for some time as she waited. She lifted her head in curiousness and their gazes fused, in the middle of the night, in the crescendo of a thunderstorm completely vulnerable to one another, the terrible drumming of their hearts drowned out the world around them. As they continued to stare at each other, she saw that he assessed her just as fervently as she assessed him.
The corners of his mouth quirked up in a smile, the emotions in his heart and soul playing across his face were mesmeric. A strange feeling overcame her, a combination of fear and excitement, danger and trust.
Yes, trust. In spite of the cruel circumstances and a sense of betrayal she undoubtedly trusted Sesshomaru.
That she trusted him and was feeling things she should not scared her a lot. The impulse to back away was suddenly overwhelming. He saw the fear in her eyes and clamped a hand around her arm and drew her to the hard planes of his chest, doing nothing more than to hold her to him briefly. She gasped as he tilted her head back and pressed his mouth to hers in a chaste kiss. She just melted into him, with the sound of the rain, and into the desires of her flesh and heart. The brush and towel fell from her hands, dropping soundlessly to the carpeted floor.
His mouth settled unto hers easily, kissing her thoroughly, imprinting her with his taste. She could hear the rasp of his breath through the sound of the slowing storm. She exhaled sharply and he swallowed up the sound.
He cupped a palm behind her head and trapped her body to his. He kissed her lips, nibbling on them gently. She moaned unashamedly as he thrust his tongue deep within her mouth, seeking, touching, withdrawing, and finally, suckled her tongue into his mouth as if he were starved.
He read the need in her moans and sighs, and he could smell her musk in the air, thick and zesty. She lifted her eyes to meet his as he had stopped kissing her, the expression on his face feral, however, filled with concern.
Yet, in spite of the passion, the out of control urges and raw vulnerability of the situation, it was best if they did not take things any further. She knew as well and could see clearly that he was fighting with an iron will not to ravage her and then leave her broken again, when he must go.
That he would keep her safe through the storm, and that he loved her still was enough. She would just have to trust him. He kissed her forehead and lips one more time before he sat down.
Kagome took up the towel and brush, moved closer to the back of the sofa, portioned the long damp silky tresses of his hair and began to towel dry it carefully. She looked down as she brushed his hair and saw that his eyes were closed and he inhaled softly in contentment.
When she was finished with his hair, although he wouldn't think to ask, but to his surprise, she pushed the yukata off his shoulders and began to massage his neck and shoulders tenderly. She molded the muscles as they were tight to rid of the tension.
As she manipulated his upper body, he felt a surge of peace descend upon him, that which could only come from being reunited with the other part of his soul, making him whole once more. It did not matter that in the morning reality would see them part, if only for the moment, it would make the dark days ahead bearable.
Within the presence of tranquility he perused the bond with his children and it was calm, they were alright.
There were no awkwardness between him and Kagome, only history, children and an unbroken love. His arms reached up and rendered hers immobile, stopping her stroking fingers on his muscles, which were relaxed and fluid now because of her administration.
She looked down and smiled and he returned the gesture openly. His hands guided her to sit beside him, her head rested on his chest as she came to lie on him. Instinctively his hand went to the front where he parted the kimono and stroked her belly. Kagome sighed with the wonderful feelings.
She had no misgivings, he had asked her with his eyes to trust him, and she did. She knew that he could not stay and in the morning they would say farewell again. But this time there would be no misunderstandings.
"Sesshomaru how are the children?" She asked quietly.
She heard him take in a long breath before the action on her tummy stopped. She glanced up at him, the answer was right there in his sad eyes, he was having difficulty. He sighed and began to stroke her abdomen again, and shortly afterwards he responded.
They talked about the children, but avoided the subject of the princess all together. It was his reality; a decision that he'd made and would have to live with no matter how trying it got.
sksksk
In the wee hours of the morning the children stirred and immediately became aware of their failed attempts to reach their mother. Shippo sighed in irritation, the potion had worn off and now he must deal with their unhappiness and insistence of being with their mother.
Aiko started to cry as she remembered, Taizo frowned. Shippo drew closer to them and felt horrible, he tried and put himself into their position and felt the turmoil in their little souls. Their sad faces and that especially of his sister tugged harshly on his conscience.
"Please brother take us to mother," Aiko pleaded and cried, "I just want to see her again, if I could my heart could bear the terrible feelings because I don't think I will be able to make it without seeing her again."
It broke his heart hearing the pleading in the child's voice, and when Taizo got up and held her, weeping with her, it only made his heart ached even more.
He remembered losing his parents and feeling alone in this cold cruel world, and when he met Kagome and the others he'd gain a family and friends. Notwithstanding, it was Kagome who'd become his only parent, raising him on her own. He would never be able to repay her for her kindness. Perhaps taking them to her would be a start.
"Come on let's go find mother," he said after awhile.
Both children looked up on him as he stood, still crying but not with sadness anymore. They were not as strong as him and still sluggish from the sleeping powder, but still had enough energy to fly from the mountains.
sksksk
Sesshomaru was up for hours just watching her as she slept, and feeling every movement that his offspring made inside her womb. When she wakes it would be time for him to retrieve his children and depart. He knew through their connection that they were doing fine.
But as he thought on those things he felt as his connection to the children heightened, they were moving at great speeds coming towards the house, he stiffened, bracing himself for the emotional reunion. He could stop them, but he would not, maybe if they saw their mother again, Aiko and Taizo would start to mend.
He heard the distinct footsteps of their children and one other; and by scent alone he knew it to be the fox's. Kagome stirred as the puppy started to bark and sat up.
The door burst open, Shippo stepped inside and gazed anxiously at them.
"What are you doing here," Kagome asked groggily, just becoming fully awake while Sesshomaru looked on silently.
"I was…?" his voice trailed off as both children rushed past him, he had asked them to wait because he'd scented their father's presence and had wanted to make sure all was well before they entered. He sighed, too late.
"Mother, oh mother," they wailed and flung themselves into her arms.
Her eyes brimmed with pent up tears that spilled down her face as she welcomed them into her loving embrace. The love and longing they expressed squeezed the little one inside her body; they were so happy that they did not see.
She cried with them, holding onto them tightly as her maternal instincts took over. It had been a very long time that she was privy to that amazing feeling, and hadn't realized exactly how much she'd missed them.
Sesshomaru blinked realizing that the children's combined weight must be uncomfortable for her.
"Taizo, Aiko, release your mother!"
They let her go suddenly, she was breathless and crying, and they gasped opened mouthed.
"Mother you are expecting?" Taizo asked stunned.
Kagome laughed at the question and clasped her hand around his fingers. She could tell by his eyes that there was more he wanted to say. She nodded and answered him. "Isn't it great, soon you will have another sibling to call brother or sister?"
She looked to the right and met Sesshomaru's eyes. For that split second in time it was just she and him, their children and the way things used to be. Laughter filled the house, and although just a short reprieve, it was much needed time away from reality to unwind.