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Broken plants and damaged vegetables lay wasted on the soil. Kagome and the children salvaged what they could after the freak storm almost ruined her garden yesterday. Sesshomaru watched his family as they worked together happily. It wasn't hard to tell how contented their children were just being with their mother like this. She had an endearing quality that pulled people in, and made them never want to let go.

The assessment of her charms was significant, because it was those same qualities that had ensnared him in the first place. Before her, he had never desired the touch of a human woman. The idea back then was repulsive, just one thought of actually belittling himself to be with a human in the name of lust, pinched the nerves in his manhood painfully.

Regardless of his earlier biases, it was Kagome, a human priestess that had torn down those self inflicted, prideful and ignorant walls by just being herself. No pretense, only beautiful innocence and a pure heart. She had a way to make him feel like the most important being in the universe; and when she loved, the expression shone brightly from her soul like a beacon, and settled in her eyes for the entire world to see.

She'd made him evaluate himself, questioned his own existence without her in it. She had made him angry and his response had been uncharacteristically vulnerable. Maybe he wasn't quite as impenetrable as he'd thought himself to be.

It did not matter how hard or soft he'd become just as long as she was with him. He would ask her to wait, and if she should refuse him, even if it meant that he would have to walk the path of shame and beg her, he felt humbled knowing that he would do just that. She was the only thing that made sense in a world of wretched realities and desperate illusions.

A life without her in it…

The thought brought an unbelievable surge of misery. From the time that he had wed the princess he had lived half alive with dwindling hope, never allowing himself one moment of peace as he'd sought to punish himself over guilt.

Pain and numbness a hopeless cycle, but it was a working absurdity, a welcomed aphrodisiac that lessened the pain in his heart and the welts in his soul each day that he had to live without her.

Suddenly the possibility of a second chance was before him. Win or lose, he would have her again. Time, they just needed a little more, if she could just hold on, trust him again, believe in the words that embellished his tongue, the end of time would come and he would still be holding her hand.

The dog whined softly and placed his head on her knee, as he sensed her excitement.

"Sesshomaru," she yelled and waved frantically, "the roots of the plants are not destroyed, just a little while longer and they will grow again."

Her happiness contagious and he smiled at her without actually parting his lips, only the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. He nodded while he held her stare and approached.

As he walked unhurriedly to her, their children stopped unearthing the mature vegetables and watched him suspiciously. It was a worrisome feeling to think that his own offspring's still held him in contempt for hurting their mother. The slight grievously injured his heart.

Nevertheless, he had harmed her with the decisions that he had made, his pups had seen the trauma and had lived through it, seen their mother's tears caused by the same, no doubt they blamed him still which was understandable.

Although he'd tried his best to lessen the blow, encouraged them, withstood the backlash and the resentment; seeing them now as they watched him closely, felt like a pitiful stab in the back.

Physically, it was understood that with their broken bond that she wasn't his mate anymore, but for all intense purposes, as long as he would live she would truly be that to him in every way that counts, in his heart, mind and soul.

Kagome saw the hurt and insignificant deception into his eyes, as he sought to hide his true feelings, regardless the ruse, she had seen through it as it betrayed the calmness of his gait and seemingly unaffected features. She had known him too long and too well to miss the brief flicker of sadness in his eyes, as he looked from her to the children and back again.

Kami, this was hard, she thought. There must be something that she could do to help them understand the plight of their father better. It wasn't a sure thing, but she would talk to them and hopefully it would make them a little more agreeable, although she feared that once they got back to the palace and was in the company of the princess, all her efforts would be for naught. She sighed. What to do?

The emotion of grief lingered sadly in his eyes as he came to a halt in front of her and looked down into her face. The profound sorrow lived there, creeping ever so closely to the surface, and the weight of the tumultuous burden that he carried, and she felt badly for him.

She gasped at the sight, her arm came up slowly and touched his cheek, the flesh supple as she moved her fingers against it; he held her hand gently and kept it steady as he closed his eyes. As they stood there, time stood still and filtered out the world around them, though reality crashed in, and the night of their reunion came to mind as the puppy barked.

When he had rescued her she was so damn happy, they were both caught up in the pass and the way things used to be, the pregnancy and the euphoria of the moment, that she'd conveniently missed how extremely discontented he was.

Although she knew as well that he might have hid those emotions from her for the simple reasons that he did not want her to see it, as well as he was just being himself, portraying strength in the face of weakness.

"Sesshomaru are you alright?" She asked, her voice quivered with obvious concern, when he failed to open his eyes or answer she increased the pressure of her hand against his cheek slightly.

"I am," he responded quietly, his eyes blinked open and he saw how worried she was for him.

It was not his intent to cause her more distress, she was with child and delicate, and from experience knew her to be moody and cried easily whenever pregnant. He took the hand away that was still placed on his cheek and held it loosely.

"I will be gone for some time but I will return before nightfall," his tone abstracted, his gaze swept over her head and on his pups before he let her hand go and walked away quietly.

sksksk

Hotaru stayed in the palace even after her charge had fully recovered and she was dismissed by her. Her attentions had shifted to the lord's pups that were being watched and guarded day and night, though her mind sputtered to the princess at times.

She had hoped that she had gotten through to her, but something at the end of their conversation and time together was off. She realized that the woman had no reasons to trust her; she was a servant and ally to the lord's house.

The two of them had connected, she was sure of it. In her distress the princess had unloaded her troubles unto her shoulders. She was hopeful that the lady would let good sense prevail, but by the end of their dialogue the princess was obviously distracted by some deep inner turmoil.

The day peaceful and the breeze mild that caressed her face as she peered down into the garden from the balcony of her bedroom. In spite of the peaceful surroundings, a niggling persistent possibility poked at her mind ever so often, that the lady had not taken heed to the advice. For the brief instant that she had seen her afterwards, princess Maemi had glanced away and pretended not to notice her, was a perturbing situation, because in all likely-wood she could attack…or become an ally, at this point nothing was certain.

Before she left the tranquility of the balcony she saw as the princess and her three companions boarded a carriage that sped away immediately, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake. She sighed and left the view, all the while she wondered what the lady of the house was up to.

She was already half asleep when she heard footsteps coming towards the door…then knocking.

"Come in Jaken the door is unlocked," she said tiredly.

He opened the door soundlessly and then closed it in the same manner and entered the room. He glanced around and studied its finery, while Hotaru watched his peculiar behavior and observed that something bothered him, because he seemed overly anxious and a little less green than normal.

"How are you doing, Jaken?"

The question was more of a statement in an off handed manner, as she could see that he was pre-occupied with his thoughts.

"Okay," he answered absentmindedly.

"You don't look okay. You look less like yourself. And I think I may know the cause for this unusual visit," she raised an eyebrow, "and your troubles."

She got up out of bed and drew closer to him, he hardly noticed; then she gestured to him with a wave of the hand to take one of the two seats in the room. He took up the offer but did it distractedly as he nodded and sighed deeply.

In a few moments he heard the sound of pouring water, he closed his eyes and listened to the breeze flowing in from the balcony. When he reopened his eyes he saw Hotaru coming his way with two glasses filled with liquid. She handed him one and sat on the other sofa beside him.

The glass came to his lips with trembling fingers; he swallowed greedily as the water wet his appetite and soothed his frayed nerves, he never disengaged his lips from the glass until it was empty. Hotaru stared blatantly at him as he drank the water, and saw as it travelled down his throat, and as some dribbled down his chin.

When he was done he sat the glass down on the floor and met her unwavering gaze.

"You came up here to talk…Right?" She asked and encouraged him with a soft smile.

He nodded slowly and then inhaled deeply, he held the breath as he made up his mind to inform her of his troubles or not. He viewed her as a friend, though the time in which he'd come to that conclusion was short. He let out the breath, it did not matter, Hotaru was a good listener and quite intelligent.

Jaken studied her with easy assessment; her eyes were warm just like her personality, and sincere. He made up his mind with ease this time as he felt like he could trust her with anything.

"You see lord Sesshomaru left me with strict orders on the care of his pups," he frowned, "but none in regards to the mistress of the house, she has left the palace grounds, and I fear that she is up to no good."

He reached for the glass but withdrew his hand again as he remembered that it was empty, drained of every last drop. Hotaru stiffened as she heard his concerns, for she too had the same fears. Could it be that by trying to help she had made the situation that much worse?

The question her mind threw at her was bothersome. She got up in a daze and reached for her guest's glass, she retrieved and filled it to the brim, the water spilled; she took little notice as her mind searched for clarification. She knew it was a risk when she'd divulged the lord's secrets to his wife, but her heart was in the right place as her only objective then was to help him.

Despite her own misgivings about the situation she gave Jaken the water and sat down. Linking her arms in front, she forced her mind to address the issues.

"What makes you think that the lord's wife is prepared to cause him trouble?"

Her pulse sped faster as she thought on the question, as well as the possibility that she would have to tell Jaken that she had betrayed his confidence, if what he said was true about the lady.

With an imperceptible shake of the head, he sternly dragged his mind back to the present, which had grown distracted as he drank the water.

"I was careless this morning as I delivered her breakfast, I heard talking coming from inside and I…?" His voice trailed off as he saw the knowing look on Hotaru's face.

Hotaru smiled. "Don't tell me you eavesdropped and was caught."

"Yes," he answered shamefacedly and lowered his head.

Long moments passed in silence and she could tell that there was more he wanted to say, but hesitated, perhaps he was being cautious, he wasn't as sure that he could trust her implicitly. Then he got up from the seat and stood in front of her.

"I know what you tried to do…And I am not upset, I only wished that I had the courage to do it before you myself."

An expression that looked curiously like guilt spread over her features before she smoothed it away. "I…I…?"

"Yes?" He rasped, even more intrigued to hear her answer.

Her eyes gleamed faintly in the light. "I hope you won't think badly of me, I only wanted to help. I thought that if I appealed to her conscience then maybe she would see the light."

He smiled hoping to put her at ease, but her frown deepened.

"I didn't hear everything that she and the others had said before her mother came along the passage and saw me…But what I did hear I fear is not good."

"What did they say?" She asked quickly.

His lips twitched in anxiousness. "The lady told her companions about the lord's mate among other things, then a stern voice interrupted and reminded her about the duties of a princess, and what a servant of the empire meant, that's all I heard before her mother saw me."

sksksk

The long drive away from the palace calmed the rattled nerves in her head, and as the carriage came to a stop in front of a beautiful home, her wedding gift from the west to her, her pulse quickened once again as she recalled the reasons for the obscurity. She sighed deeply feeling completely lost. It was her mother's idea to come here. She had said that they needed to discuss in private what they would do with the gem of knowledge that had fallen into her lap.

Her fingers tightened reflexively around the brass candle-stick she held, before she forced them to relax again. The curtains were closed, the sunlight highlighted them but failed to penetrate deep to illuminate the house.

And so it would remain, their visit to this place was a secret, and the candle holder with the single waxen stick would be their only guide. They sat on the floor on the dusty carpet in a circle and would keep their voices low as the driver waits outside for them.

She gave herself an inward shake as she leans on the back of what she assumed to be a large settee, the room was a bit ostentatious and the furniture covered with linen, she was determined to do the right thing.

She watched the candle light as it failed to burn bright because of the murky air and compared her life to it and sighed.

"Daughter," her mother said and interrupted her dark thoughts. "I hope you are not seriously thinking about abandoning your assignments?" She asked and peered at her sternly over the dim candle light.

She sighed deeply. "Mother tell me when is it right that my marriage is to become an assignment, have I no say in the direction that my life must go?"

Her mother thought on the question and hesitated to answer right away, Jade answered instead.

"Cousin we all have a say in the direction our lives should take, but are you willing to sacrifice the responsibilities bestowed upon you; upon all of us to safeguard the empire for a demon that does not love you, and if what you have told us is true then he will never love you?"

She paused, studying Jade's expression, aware that the question must be an academic one since love was not an issue any more. She had made it clear earlier in the day that she would let the obsession go, love should not be forced, and since the lord's nature was that of an animal, and he had already chosen a mate, fighting against such unusual circumstances would be foolish.

"I never said that I would leave him or throw my duty as a princess out the door. I only meant that I would not fight him anymore on a useless cause," she replied hotly.

With a sigh, she decided to let the statement hang in the air, because even as she said those words she wasn't sure what she really meant by them.

"Princess," the soft shy voice of her too silent cousin Heaven spoke up for the first time. "Are you saying that you will no longer share his bed, or that you would live in insignificance, denying your womb a chance to be blessed with a child and forsake the empire's wishes, for surely you must know that the only way to keep him in check is to be close to him?"

The shock of such an eloquent assessment sent a jolt through her system that apparently drove the fog from her mind, it made her think clearly again. The others gazed at her long and discriminatingly. Force of will alone kept her steady and not fleeing from their midst.

For whether she cared to admit it or not lord Sesshomaru was an undeniably attractive being, and she was far from immune to him or the sexuality that he seemed to exude, and to deny that she wanted a child fathered by him was to deny her own heart. Her body sagged.

For a moment she felt trapped like a rabbit caught into a snare. For how could she carry out her duties as princess to the empire by releasing her husband from their marriage, knowing that as a woman she wanted children? She wasn't a commoner, she was a princess of the empire, a lady of the house of the west, and she couldn't do as her mind compelled her to do.

Her head came up slowly and met her mother's scowling face, and helplessness bloomed inside her heart.

"Humph," she snorted, "I see that you have finally come to your senses," Maemi stared at the woman and saw her plainly for the first time, she was bitter and had a dark heart. She looked away from her mother's shadowy eyes as she listened to her voice. "All you need to do now is to choose which side you are on, Is it the side of your family, or that of your dear husband?" She finished off in amusement.

The tears that fell onto her hands were startling at first, for she had not realized that she'd been crying, her heart felt heavy and she could barely breathe, she gasped and took quick breaths trying in earnest to calm down.

She heard the voice of her eldest cousin and it seemed faraway yet distinct. "I am sorry princess but you must choose, if you set him free you disobey the responsibilities that your brother gave to you. Do you even remember that you are to be the empire's eyes and ears in the west, or has love blinded you...No? Maemi did not answer, Jade continued. "If I may be so bold, you said it yourself that you do not desire his affections anymore, so being with him now should be easier."

Lady Kim Jun got to her feet immediately and stared down on the trio.

"I will send word to your army to find and kill the woman that your husband calls mate, maybe if she wasn't in the picture the lord would be more inclined to settle for you."

"No, no!" You mustn't she cried, sharp and intense.

"And why the hell not?" Was her mother's brusque reply. "I can tell that you desire the beast with passion though you say otherwise. Be smart girl, didn't you say that the youkai female informed you that a bond like theirs was meant to last forever, or dissolved if one of them dies. Perhaps that would be for the best, you would get the love that you yearn so desperately for…No?"

She tilted her head up, fear and longing narrowed her eyes. Her mother searched her face and saw that she had been right about her step daughter. Maemi hands trembled, she clasped them tight, while the other two kept silent, clearly thinking about the possibilities the older woman perceived.

Princess Maemi shook her head and cried. She realized what a grave mistake this had been. What they planned, she did not want any part of it. She shook her head fiercer this time as her relatives stared at her. What is it that she really wanted? Could she become so vicious just to get what she desired? She did not know. Uncertain she rests her back against the sofa and made a little sound of despair.

A minute passed as she tried to calm down and to dispel the anxieties, and then another and another. But even as she despaired and considered on the wrongness of the situation, somewhere deep down, a desperate longing for his love and children; perhaps a possibility that she could be happy with him. Because as much as she was willing to deny what she had wanted before, now she was less inclined to let go.

sksksk

Shippo left the construction site after it was set up with tents and supplies. Tora was in command in his absence. He approached the barracks and shape shifted unseen to that of a human male with long dark brown hair, tall and well built, with documents in hand as a scholar. He would seek employment as a teacher to educate the mostly illiterate soldiers or whatever else they required of him.

sksksk

The sun had set; Kagome took a bath and read one of her old books to her children who sat beside her, one on the left and the other on the right. The baby kicked and she gasped loudly.

She chuckled softly as her hand went to her stomach and the book forgotten.

"Mother may I?" Taizo asked while Aiko looked on in curiousness and saw the odd shape of her mother's tummy as the baby moved.

Kagome nodded to Taizo and parted her robe, slightly exposing her rounded belly. She took both of their hands and rest it on her stomach; they waited, and waited some more, but then the baby gave a series of wild moves and they felt the fluttering under their fingers. Their eyes popped in amazement, they laughed each time that the baby kicked, along with their mother whose joy was hard to miss.

Sesshomaru stood in the doorway on his return and watched the happy occasion, but hadn't the heart to interrupt, then suddenly Kagome looked up and saw him, it was very strange indeed that somehow she knew that he was there.

The bracelet that Shippo gave her warmed up around her wrist and the feeling was familiar, like déjà vu. She would have to ask him about it.

Her children got up and left her side as they became aware of his presence.

"Good evening father," they both said as he passed them by, he nodded his reply.

As Aiko moved passed him her mother's words stirred her conscience and she stopped. "Father," she said, "wait!" He stopped abruptly and she inched closer and halted in front of him. Without saying a word she tip-toed and flung her arms around his neck, and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you," she whispered so that he alone could hear, he nuzzled her forehead for a short time and then she let go.

The others watched silently, though Kagome smiled feeling a sense of accomplishment, because she could tell the moment that her daughter made the gesture was when she'd remembered their talk.

Alone now he came and sat beside her; he looked a little less forlorn than from before she noticed. He reached inside his yukata and took out a small box with pretty paper wrapper and gave it to her.

She hesitated. "What is this for?" She asked a little too loudly, she couldn't help it, she was too stunned.

"It is a token that I wished for you to have."

She nodded slowly, took the box from his hand and opened it. She was startled by the contents and a little confused as well, she looked up again. "I don't understand," was the vacant reply.

He didn't respond immediately as he stared into her eyes and saw confusion. He took the box from her hand and placed the ring on the fourth finger of her left hand that was bare of her mother's ring.

When he was finished he let her hand go, she gazed at the exquisite one stoned diamond ring on her finger.

"I don't understand," she repeated and stared at him even harder.

He reclaimed his spot beside her and held her slender fingers in his hand, feeling contemplative he sighed.

"Kagome I know that I have wronged you, but what I feel inside my heart for you is sincere. Take this ring as a symbol of my love…And if you are willing wait for me."

She gasped. Did Sesshomaru just proposed to her? It was a lot to take in, the hurt and bitterness may have subsided but she was nowhere near a resolution. Truth be told she still loved him and wanted her life back with him and their children, and the ones that were yet to be born. He wasn't asking for a commitment, only that she waits on him.

Perhaps in time she could trust him with her heart again. She looked at the ring once more and felt the shiny texture this time. He watched her closely and was hopeful that she would agree.

She sighed heavily. "Sesshomaru I cannot promise you that a day will come soon that I don't think about everything that has happened, sometimes when I do I detest you, sometimes I long for you and at times I yearn for the life that we used to have. But I know in my heart that I love you and I always will, so I will take this ring as a symbol of your love and wait for you."

He closed his eyes and relaxed as the fear that she would say no left his mind. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Silence descended upon them, and as the day's fatigue took a hold of her, she fell asleep. Carefully he lifted her from the couch and carried her to bed, where he watched her beautiful face silently as she slept. Hours before dawn she awoke and caught him staring, eyes gleaming in the dark as he sat on the only chair in the room.

"We must talk," he said softly.

"Yes," she said and nodded, "come a little closer."

He arched his back off the chair and took the few steps to the bed slowly. Kagome smothered a yawn as tiredness still clutched to her bones and stretched like a cat. He smiled at her antics and sat down while she eased up and rested on her elbow.

"The children and I will leave here in the morning, but there are some things that I need to say to you." He paused and brushed her sleep tousled hair from her face.

"Continue," she says on another yawn.

"I have come to regret my actions; I thought that I was capable of handling the situation alone. I never realized before it was too late how much you being by my side kept me grounded, and I daresay contented."

She smiled, she knew that this was hard for him; her mate had been a solitary creature for most of his life, depending solely on himself and his abilities. He was selfish in thinking that he had to do everything by himself. He was so much like Inuyasha, there could be no mistake, they were brothers. At times he was prideful but she loved him regardless of his faults.

Her lips twitched, a good humored light danced in her blue eyes. "Sesshomaru you don't need to explain, I already know why you did the things that you did," she shook her head. "Hashing them up again will only leave me depressed as I have tried so long and hard to forget."

The pain was still there in her voice as she tried to dismiss the conversation.

"I could have killed you."

The startling revelation left her numb.

"What?" She said dumbly after a momentary lapse.

"Breaking our bond could have killed you if I hadn't given you my youki that day in the forest. The bracelet you now wear have some of my essences in it that keeps our souls in harmony, to take it off would ensure our deaths."

His piercing eyes held hers, she shook her head and tore her face awy from his gaze as she saw truths that she could not begin process. Her strength faded, and her body drifted down uselessly on the bed.