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She knew his eyes were on her, knew that his intensely burning gaze searched her face, looking for a reaction to the damning revelation, only she had no answer for him.

She kept her own eyes tightly shut while she gathered the silk sheets to her bosom to distract herself. Wanting to divert from the revolting realization that if Sesshomaru was in fact guilty of what he'd let slipped out, then he was truly a monster.

Beyond the windows, the night sky was cold and dark, the thick shadowy clouds threatened with rain once more. But here in their own confined and private little world, there was nothing but confusion and seeping regret.

She'd always known, Kagome acknowledged in the privacy of her thoughts. But had thought that she had forgotten…or tried to forget…just what a ruthless, cold and emotionless creature he had been.

The truth was always there, hiding beneath her love for him and her conscience, needing only a push, a moment like this, to light to the smoldering embers of her doubts.

At her side Sesshomaru moved, reached out a hand and pulled the covers from her form and slipped between the sheets, he enclosed them both in the warm softness of the silk sheets and his embrace. He was lying behind her now, with the length of his body pressed against hers.

She felt her eyes grow heavy, drooped closed, warm waves of tiredness washing over her, the stillness of the night being broken by the pitter patter of the oncoming rain, perplexity or was it misunderstanding; all yoked together, encased her into a deep suffocating bubble.

He had vowed never to see her again; it would make it easier on both of them. And yet as soon as fate forced them together, he had acted blindly, as impulsively as an adolescent pup at the mercy of his hormones.

He had been off balanced. This week had left his brain muddled, his emotions raw, but that was no excuse. He wanted to clear the air of his arrogant and prideful heart, and tell the woman that he loved the whole truth.

Now she lay helpless, trembling slightly, caught up in misery and distrust.

"Kagome," he whispered her name while he pressed his face into her hair and took a long sniff of the perfumed strands.

"Sesshomaru...yes," was her dazed response, for even now as the incredulity of the situation threatened to drag her down deep in sorrow and hatred, the actions of the male behind her gave her reason to pause. There had to be more to what he had said, than the vague accursed statement.

Running her tongue along lips that had become dry with consternation, moistened them a bit, though they still felt chafe.

"Explain," she said at last. The single word raw with bitterness, and misery never left her eyes, though from this position he could not see it.

He huddled closer, drew her body tight, she felt loving arms held her firm and it erased some of the doubts. She was grateful now that she had not lashed out at him earlier, in her alarm and vexation. His lips parted, the puffs of air that he took brushed over her nape as he readied himself to speak.

"It was my belief at the time that the emperor and I had come to an understanding, we had conversed alone prior to the meetings, and I was of the impression that he was a man of his word that wanted peace between the races. The moment he betrayed my trust I let rage overwhelm me and it frightened him."

He scowled as he remembered the incident vividly as if it was just happening. Kagome felt the tension in his chest as the muscles twitched under his clothes. She turned around and faced him, their breaths mingled as noses and lips were only inches apart, almost touching.

He squinted and drew in a long breath as his emotions ran high. Their closeness sent waves of passion through him; but he would not act on it, not like this when he had struggled for days to keep his hands off her and to himself out of respect. He sighed with his convoluting feelings before he spoke again.

"The momentary lapse in my control changed the negotiations and it became a power struggle. The human nobles feared our strengths and the unknown, so to keep me within arm's reach he offered up an ultimatum, his sister, who is now my wife."

Kagome closed her eyes, her nose burned with the onset of tears, she sniffled and held them at bay. Just that one word was enough to topple her resolve, break her spirit, because the male who held her so lovingly and close was not hers, he belonged to someone else.

He sensed the inner turmoil that blazed within her soul, though she had dipped her head and their gazes weren't in sync anymore.

He cupped her chin and lifted her head up and their eyes met again; hers brimmed with tears and his burned with regret and love. She couldn't stand their combined pain and she jerked her head to look away.

He forced her to remain still with a little more pressure on her chin. "Don't look away," it was more of a plea than an order, as he stared at her with eyes of sorrow.

She gulped with the bile that formed, and swallowed the bitterness and their miserable lives down her throat.

His forehead came to rest on hers, his breath caressed her face, she sighed and curled some fingers around his hair that had spilled over his shoulders and sighed deeply.

"Mate," she gasped at the word and looked up, she shook her head fervidly in denial.

"Please don't call me that; that part of our lives is ov…?"

She didn't get the chance to finish as his mouth slammed onto hers, claws clutching tightly at her back. She groaned with the shock of it, he did not let up; he forced her lips apart with his firm tongue.

Hesitantly she kissed him back, but the more his heat and desire pooled into her being, she kissed him back impatiently. She bit into his lips, he exhaled, she latched onto his tongue; passion filled he facilitated her and thrust it even deeper. The sounds erotic and wet as she suckled the searing appendage into her mouth.

She took a breath nourishing her quaking lungs, while glistening yellow eyes and wet lips held her captive.

"Never doubt me," he said, his voice sharp and intense, his breath tickled her flesh as he'd spoken. "You will always be this one's mate, none can replace you."

A strangled sob escaped unbidden from her lips as love for him busted through the darkness.

"Sessh," was the pained moan, he held her closer to him and kissed her face all over. In time she quieted as the intense moment passed.

With the solitude of their feelings he was able to focus, he had to come clean, and there could be no more secrets. Perhaps if he had valued her opinions more, trusted her judgment, the weight of his sacrifice would be less heavy now.

His voice was low when he began again, almost a whisper but not quite, as the words rasped between his teeth. "I left the meeting half the person that I was before I'd left you. I saw no other solution to the problems, and I was later told by Tora that I had five days to agree or the offer would be withdrawn. I told my companion to tell them that I had accepted."

She listened aptly to the account of their time apart that would subsequently destroy their home and life together.

"Regardless of the strain a plan had already taken root in my mind, though it was a decision that would undeniably come between us, the rest is as you see. And that is why I must let you see the truth of my actions. I knew that severing our bond could gravely injure or kill both of us."

She rose up on her elbows suddenly and glanced down on him, looked deeply into his eyes and asked. "Are you saying that the risks you took were equally shared by the both of us?"

He nodded sadly and then responded. "Yes."

As she rested there and searched his eyes, there was that cruel stab of harsh reality piercing right into her soul as she forced herself to face the truth.

"I should have been honest with you from the beginning, but I could not tell you at the time. I did not want you to worry" he said softly.

His declaration wasn't lost on her, although her thoughts on the matter buzzed lightly in her head, she could still hear him clearly.

"When I was faced with the mortality of our lives I sought the tree wizard, he advised that I should strengthened you with more of my energies, but that was the physical part. Kagome our love is powerful and we are bound together by our souls, giving you my power alone would not have been sufficient?"

Her gazed at her expectantly as she was lost in thought. He nuzzled her cheek and the baby kicked; they both smiled through the sadness, hope grew inside her womb. A little life that was created during a time of great chaos and uncertainty.

His eyes on her face again, Kagome lowered her head the moment his voice filled the air. "When I'd realized that to deliver the people that we fought so hard to save could kill us both, I nearly called the whole deal off. I despaired as the footholds that I had thought was beneath me crumbled away," Kagome clutched his hand tight and met his eyes again as she felt the immense pain in his heart.

She nodded at him and then sighed as the irony of the situation became obvious. His lips parted to express his thoughts but before he did he closed his eyes. "I thought of my father and the time of his death. He too had mated a human and perhaps there were some clues that I might have missed." He paused for a few moments, and as Kagome stared at him she saw the depths of his burdened soul and pitied him. He looked away from her face as his chest tightened with the memory and how painful it had been, and said. "I found no answers, and that was when I truly felt like I was in hell."

"I never knew," she muttered and rested her back flat on the bed as she grew tired again. She closed her eyes with weariness and dread. Life could be so cruel sometimes, and sadly the only defense against it was to endure the pain. Sesshomaru's quiet breaths were warm against her cheek, and when he began to speak again she lifted her head.

"At that point I was left with one other option. I sought council with Totosai immediately afterwards and he had what seemed to be a possible solution. The bracelet you wear around you wrist contains some of my spirit energies. It recognizes that we are mates and keep our souls harmonized, without it we would both perish, never take it off. Kagome, if there had been no way to save your life or mine I would have given up. No sacrifice is worth your life."

The silence that followed was tangible and thick. Kagome now understood that Sesshomaru not only put her life at risk but his own to save them. If only he had told her.

She eased up from the bed a little so that they were face to face again, her eyes swum with tears. "Why didn't you tell me before now…and why now?"

He shrugged. "I suppose it isn't always easy to change one's personality, I was never one to express my desires openly, and although now I have come to regret my actions, my thoughts for you were sincere."

"But," she interrupted, "I could have helped you. I thought that we were a team, doing things together, being honest with each other in everything."

A scowl deepened on his face, his lips compressed into a thin line and he sighed heavily. "You are correct, but as your mate I only wanted to protect you, shield you from the corrupt ways of the world. I will never forget that time long ago when you came to aid me at the council whilst my mother was still alive. I could not live with myself if you had accompanied me again only to be caught up in misery."

Kagome frowned, torn between the desire to throw caution to the wind and take him back, screw everything else, but she wouldn't. That would only make matters worse, and besides, there was the issue of the princess, and the troubled look on Sesshomaru's face.

She had little doubt that he would see his convictions through to the very end. The rooster crowed, she looked up, dawn was breaking, their time together was almost at an end.

She turned and snuggled into him as anxiousness over their parting seized her.

"Hold me," she muttered desperately in his chest.

He held her, shifted her head up and brought his lips to hers in a chaste kiss, while he rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"Kagome," he called her name softly, she gazed up at him. "Two days from now a female will come in search of you, don't be alarmed, she will stay here and assist you while I am gone. I will try and get here for the birthing."

She nodded as hope bloomed once again.

"Sleep my koi, the dawn is upon us and you have been awake for far too long."

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes feeling tired. Knowing fingers knead the muscles of her back with enough force to drive the tension away, but with the right amount of pressure to make it feel good.

She drifted away, breathing lightly, as if on cue his children appeared at the door, they walked to the bedside and kissed her cheeks before they turned away. He was pleasantly surprised, because Aiko did not make a fuss.

He kissed her too and then got up to go. He looked back one last time and wondered how he was going to last throughout the years without her by his side.

Kagome slept through the morning but when she awoke her family was gone. Loneliness stilled her heart; she wiped tears from her eyes and sat on the sofa, the pretty box still resting on it. She looked at the ring, a promise of the future, the puppy jumped on her lap. She smiled ruefully and rubbed its furry head and thought on the time that she had spent with Sesshomaru.

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Back at the palace Maemi watched from her window as her husband and his children returned, she couldn't help but to smile. Truth be told she really missed him, but then the smile turned into a frown as she remembered the position that she was in.

Regardless of that she left her bedroom and went down stairs to meet him, as he approached the wide visitor's area with his children in tow, Maemi moved from the shadows only to hear as his daughter asked happily. "Father when can we go and see mother again?"

His eyes met hers in that moment, and the softness that had held them previously ebbed away, the color drained from her face as she watched the great care and tenderness that he used as he held his daughter's hand tightly.

Aiko looked away from her father only to see the angry glare of her step mother. She was told to apologize, but hesitated as the woman stared at her with contempt and hatred. She gulped imperceptibly and marched forward and came to a stop about two feet away.

She bowed slightly. The woman watched her like a predator which was only natural because she had harmed her. The others looked on silently; they had nothing to fear from the female, Aiko wasn't in any physical danger, of the two the princess was weaker.

"Princess and wife of my father, I ask for forgiveness for my actions. Please accept my humble apologies." Aiko's head came up slowly and a look of relief washed her expression when she was finished.

She waited for her father's wife to say something but she only glared at her scornfully and then walked away. Aiko shrugged carelessly and dashed from the room, and up the stairs to tell the others the good news about their mother. She didn't care if the woman accepted her apology or not, she only did it to be nice and to get her father off her back. Taizo raced after her, both of them extremely happy.

Left alone, Maemi eyes shone with contempt for her husband. Here she was almost ready to let go, free him off the shackles of their marriage and bed. She had waited patiently for his return so that they could talk and work something out for appearances sake. They needed a united front, while they hid the truth from her relatives; only to come face to face with the lying cheater who couldn't wait to see her get better, before he used his children as an excuse to go see the woman in the picture.

He acknowledged her with a stiff nod, as he had seen the cold perception in her eyes, she had already drawn her own conclusion of the events from the words that his daughter had spoken. He hissed, he hadn't the patience to deal with her childish behavior; his pups were a handful and a half without her adding to the mix.

He stepped around her to walk away but she grabbed onto his hand. His eyes narrowed as he looked down on slim fingers around his wrist, her pointy nails creased his flesh.

"LET GO!"

The harsh demand in his tone drove all other thoughts from her mind, forcing her to meet his gaze in a deadly lock of the eyes.

"Why should I?" She challenged, never breaking eye contact.

He hissed again, this time with impatience before he let go a slew of curses while he pried her fingers from his arm; he bended them back painfully and watched quietly the pain on her face, the clenched teeth and yet she still tried to hang unto him.

She broke off on a cry of shock and frustration as the pressure increased with the pain.

He strode away fom her quickly, but the woman was persistent and came after him again with vehemence and a shout of his name. He stopped and turned around.

She hunted for a way to say what was on her mind as he stared at her passively, but what way was there other than the hard, cold facts that she had been trying to absorb, to accept, to cope with for the last two days?

"How could you be so cruel?" She wailed. "Your daughter almost killed me and yet you left me to go after them, never mind my feelings, only to find out that you spent three fucking days with their mother."

For a second as his head lowered she thought that he might walk away again, but she was wrong and regrettably so. His head came up and he took a menacing step into her direction. She gulped and took two steps away from him.

He lunged for her, she screamed as he grasped her by the arm and pulled her to him, then suddenly let go. She stumbled; the hand that caught her chin broke the fall, but long clawed fingers pushed under it and lifted it up so that her eyes were now forced to meet the burn of his, as they bored into hers harshly.

The words of objection died on her tongue, the words choked off, the breath snatched from her lungs, and arousal filled the air. His eyes widened in surprise, he let her go and walked away again. This time she stood trembling and ashamed.

Another month came and went, and the princess never graced his bed not once in all this time, which was a relief because he would not be able to perform his duty, not when Kagome and the baby was constantly on his mind. Shippo reported to him once weekly on both of his assignments which went well. His pups seemed happier with Hotaru around.

Then on the night before Taizo's birthday she came to see him having caught wind of the event and the birthday celebrations.

She opened the door and entered, gone were the days when she was afraid and timid like a cat. Boldly she walked to the bed and got in, then drew herself up and sat with her back resting on the head rest. He didn't move, he only watched her silently as she came to him.

She glanced in his direction coyly. He relaxed slightly, only then realizing the tension that had been riding him since she had entered, and he became aware of her fertile musk.

Her shoulders drew straight. "Husband," her voice sugar coated, "it's been almost a year, don't you think it's time that we had a little one of our own?"

He didn't respond as unease caught him off guard. He knew that this day would come and he hadn't a plan against it, unless he were to become colder and more brutal.

Tenderly she stroked his arms, rubbing her thumbs over his nipples. "Perhaps we could get started right now," she muttered in his chest as she dragged her lips across it.

She moved and laid across him, her lips pulling on his flesh as her hand slithered down his hakamas and felt for his length. It was already half way there; he gritted his teeth in revulsion as his body betrayed him.

He caught her wrist and held it in place; she tugged against his grasp and reached for his manhood again. It quivered in her hand. She slid lower still; he didn't say anything as she twirled her tongue into his navel while pulling his cock free.

It stood at attention, she smiled.

"Oh kami, you really are a big boy!" The lascivious remark did nothing to soften his mood, and he assumed her words were made out of lustfulness as she licked her lips sensually. She felt the weight of him against her hand and her smiled deepened.

A pink tongue darted from between her lips and tasted the head of his shaft. He stiffened trying to deny the pleasure, it wasn't new; she had indulged herself in this type of satisfaction before. He could also see the devious flicker in her orbs, she wanted to trap him with a child and he would not stand for it.

Never would he allow that to happen, and if it did he would make sure that none of his essences made it to her womb.

Her mouth covered his large phallus and sucked him in deep. He strained against a moan, pressing his lips tightly together. She sensed his hesitation; that he fought against the pleasure that she brought him. With a rather hard pull and suction of the head of his manhood he groaned gutturally, she smiled; even if his heart was cold as ice, his body still reacted to her.

Restraining a sigh, he rolled her away and then dragged her roughly to her knees. She gasped as she felt his hardness bounced on her ass. It would hurt she knew, it always did in this position. Regardless, the pain would pass and she would enjoy it.

Instinctively aware of the slow throb in her jaw from accommodating his wide girth into her mouth, wet heat pooled between her thighs, both sensations urging her to put aside her qualms and let matters proceed.

But she couldn't. She had to dig her nails into her wrist to remind herself of the reason that she'd come to his bedchamber. And it wasn't to make love alone.

With a well placed wiggle she gave him permission; tapered fingers reached down below and spread her flesh wide apart, the tip of his rigid member already lined up to her core.

With a forceful thrust, raw, almost primitive he slid home; gliding against pliant wet tissues, eyes wide open the princess screamed with the pain of the intrusion. His pace fast and jarring, her hands clenched tight around the soft fabric of the bedding.

She moaned in bliss as her womanhood stretched wide enough to take him a little more easily. She shuddered, her eyelids fluttering downward on a pleasured slide. Her lover kept silent.

His shaft banging into her center repeatedly, in their primal dance made her groan. He used her roughly. He fucked her senseless as pain and regret shuddered through him. She cried, she moaned and squirmed, but he never lessened the score.

Lightheadedness seized her as all the blood rushed from it to her center. A long keening moan gurgled from her throat as her climax shook her. The bundle of nerves at the apex of her nether lips clenched, only to release again. This time her womb quivered all the way through and the juices of her pleasure spilled, glazing his member a murky white, crimson and cream its basic component.

He was at his crescendo and he could not withdraw. She wanted his child, her climax had already subsided and she waits anxiously for his. A white hot pain seared across his conscience as he emptied his vessel inside her. His knot did not form, he wasn't a common dog ruled only by base instincts. The urge he forced away with just a touch of his mind.

His wife dropped unto her stomach exhausted, panting harshly while her eyes drooped. He watched and waited until she fell into a deep stupor. The hand that glided upward along her bare thigh stopped.

His forehead wrinkled in regret by what he was about to do, however, the attack on his conscience didn't last for long. She had come to him tonight to become with child without discussing the matter with him first. Regardless the ultimatum they were given by her brother, their bodies belonged to them, and they alone should make the decision on its usage.

Feelings of pity did not lay claim over him, this was a war, people fought dirty, trust thrown into the shadows, Deep deceptions and manipulations thrived into the individuals that he had to interact with. His wife was no better, she sought to trap him with trickery, and yet she claimed to love him.

Sensations of disgust assaulted his person as he gazed at the damaged woman that was his wife. He reached for the crumpled sheet and wiped their combined fluids off his manhood and then dropped it to the floor. In the morning he would procure a fresh one.

Without giving the issue another thought, dexterous fingers skimmed over her abdomen and settled on the lower parts just above her secret place. He searched his consciousness for the hidden energies that he'd sensed since he had been with Kagome last. It quickly build up in his hand with just a thought after he'd found the source.

The steady flow was warm and tingled uncomfortably in his fingers. He sighed; not with regret at what he was about to do, but with relief as it washed over him. Without another thought he sent a wave of power into her body, the time for regrets were long gone.

He watched as her skin pebbled with goose flesh and as she gasped audibly in sleep. He looked at her long before getting up. He wasn't without a conscience, but she had made her choice, and so had he. Any seeds that were released inside her womb during sex would be purified by his mate's reiki.

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