Blackened by Metallica
Throwing All You See
Into Obscurity.
Mentor Discussions
Ariella Saville, 14, District Twelve
"Morning."
The sudden voice makes me scream as I awaken from a light sleep. I jump to sit up and press myself against the cold, white wall. Even after seeing Bayard standing in the doorway it takes me a moment to calm my racing heart.
"Did I scare you?"
"Yeah," I breathe, staring at him with wide eyes. I've seen him a few times now and I still can't get used to Bayard. He just has this intimidating look about him that makes me want to get as far away from him as possible. It's not that he's even done anything, really. I almost feel bad for feeling like this.
Then I remember where he's from and all the guilt fades away. He is, after all, part of the Capitol. The people that took me from District Twelve and raced me through a bunch of weird activities that are somehow supposed to prepare me to die on television. I didn't like it much in District Twelve but being trapped in this place for so long has me feeling a bit homesick.
"I'm sorry," he says, not waiting for an invitation before taking a seat in the chair that faces my bed. I don't move, keeping the thin sheet wrapped around me even though it's anything but chilly in here. Part of me wishes he would just leave and yet a different part is eager for some sort of company, even if it's from a Capitolite.
"You have the day off today so I let you sleep in," he explains. I nod, not really knowing what to say. It almost sounds like he is expecting a thank you, which is oddly enough the last thing that I'd even consider saying to him.
"They were supposed to have the training centre open today but things got delayed," he continues. "They promised everything would be ready by tomorrow, but we have the day to plan at least."
"Haven't you already done that," I say raising an eyebrow. Every time I have seen Bayard so far he has already had a clear plan about everything. During the commercial shoot yesterday I hardly had to give any input besides a few little details about my life. Everything else he planned in advance. I find it completely unthinkable that he wouldn't already have my every moved planned from here on out.
He eyes me for a moment as if he were considering asking what I meant, but he doesn't. "We have to consider alliances. Many of the other mentors are trying to arrange them. I think it would be good for your chances if we can find someone that you can trust enough to work alongside."
"I'm not working with anyone," I say immediately. It is completely out of the question. Even the mention that I might need to trust someone makes me laugh. I have done just fine trusting no one for a good chunk of my life, and how valuable is trust really when my life is on the line? I have not yet talked to one of the others, Bayard cannot possibly expect me to trust any one of them with my life.
"I need you to consider it," he says again.
I pause for a second and look up at the ceiling as if deep in thought. "Answer hasn't changed I'm afraid."
"I really think you should consider this, Ariella," he insists. "You're one of the younger ones here. There are older tributes that are going to look at you as an easy target. You need to have someone to back you up. I'm not going to force you to have an alliance, but tomorrow in training I am going to ask you to look and see if there's anyone you might be able to work with."
I can tell that he is going to keep talking until I agree to at least look, so I do, but that doesn't mean anything. I remember the people I rode on the train with to get here. They're all strangers from different districts. I don't know anything about them and I'm not going to learn much in a day or two. There is no possible way I am going to trust anyone with my life except myself. Period.
"Also," he begins talking again as if he just remembered something very important. "I don't know if I am supposed to tell you yet since the voting is still taking place, but your commercial went over well with the viewers. So far you're speculated into the top ten, which is much better than I expected."
"Excuse you," I say, somewhat insulted. I'm not really sure why it's good that I am in the top ten, but I don't see why he wouldn't expect me to be. He said I did well with my lines yesterday, and I guess that's all I needed to do. I guess the Capitol eats up those phony lines and toothy smiles.
"I expected Flint to do better than he did, but your results surprised me more I think."
"Flint?" I say, half-wondering why the name sounds familiar despite never remembering meeting anyone with that name.
"Your district partner, the boy about your age that was also Reaped from District Twelve."
I think back to the train ride but I can hardly even remember his face. I was so focused on keeping myself in a good state of mind after the shock of being reaped and then transported so quickly. I don't even know if I would be able to pick out his face if they lined up all the others in front of me. I almost feel bad that I can't remember a thing about him.
"How did he do?" I ask, not quite sure why I want to know.
"By what people are saying he's one of the last places," Bayard says calmly but I see his smile falter just a bit. "Let's not get into that, let's concentrate on you and I'll worry about Flint later."
Harlan Pearce, 12, District Eleven
The soft knocking on my door is enough to bring me out of the fitful sleep I had somehow managed to let myself fall into. I shoot up from my bed and am on my feet within seconds. It takes a moment of looking around me to remember where I am, and who is knocking.
"Bette?" I ask, not sure if she can hear me through the door.
The click of a lock lets me know that she must have, and sure enough I see her blonde head peek into the room a couple seconds later. As always she has a sweet smile spread across her lips and her bright eyes wide open.
"Good morning, sunshine," she chirps, coming in and closing the door quietly behind her. I relax when I know for a fact that she is alone. The first time I saw her she had brought a flock of Peacekeepers with her, which put me even more on edge than I already had been. I think she took what I said yesterday morning to heart, about preferring to be as alone as I am allowed to be.
"Good morning," I nod shyly, sitting back down on the edge of my bed as she takes the chair across from me.
"I brought you a little treat," she smiles, looking around slyly as if someone might be hiding in the small room watching us. She reaches into the pocket of her dress and pulls out three delicately wrapped circles which she pours into my hands. They're light and hard, looking like nothing I can remember seeing before.
"What are they?"
She smiles and lets out a giggle. "Why they're candies, silly. I brought them to cheer you up, you still seem unhappy here."
She says the last bit with a regretful sigh. I almost feel guilty, almost, but she's right. I am unhappy here; actually I'm terrified and shell shocked and so many other emotions that I didn't even know it was possible for me to feel. There's no way I can say any of that to Bette, not after she's been so gentle with me and now brought me gifts. "Thanks, Bette."
"You're welcome," she beams. "I hope it starts your day off well. I know it's hard, but I want you to be happy here, Harlan. In any way that you can be."
I smile shyly and put two of the candies down beside me on the bed, tossing the last one between my hands. She gives me a questioning look and I stare down at my feet. I know she is expecting me to open it and eat it, but I kind of want to save it. I haven't had candies for a long time, not since I left my district for Eleven. Not since my parents were still alive. I feel like just the taste will bring back memories that I don't want to think about with someone else around. I'd rather be alone to remember.
I put the third candy beside me with the other two and look up at my mentor, hoping that the gratefulness is evident in my eyes. "Really, thank you. I think I'm going to save them for later."
Her smile drops for a second and I feel a wave of guilt that takes longer to dissolve than it does for the sweet smile to return to her face. "Well you have the day off today since training has been postponed, so I thought we could just talk for a little."
"That sounds nice," I say, not really sure what else to say. I've done more talking in the past couple days than I have in months, seeing as no one was quite fond of chatting with street kids.
Luckily, Bette seems to know what to say at all times. "I'm looking into alliances for you, talking with the other mentors and such, but I wanted to ask you if there was anyone you had your eye on for an alliance?"
I shrug. "I can't really remember anyone except Eileen."
"I can see if she's interested," she says eagerly. "She has a few other requests I have to go over with her later this morning anyway."
"Do I have any requests?" The words are out of my mouth before I even have the time to process whether or not I am ready to hear the answer.
She looks surprised at the question, and once again her grin falls. "I haven't spoken yet to the others today, so I'm not completely sure. I'm expecting a few probably before the end of training."
"So none," I say, unable to keep the disappointment out of my voice. I don't honestly know why I expected there to be any, after all I am the youngest possible age that a tribute can be. Why ally with someone so young and so small when you can have someone big and strong to stand behind. I shouldn't be so disheartened to hear that no one wants to be my ally, but I can't help the heaviness that it leaves in my chest.
"Don't lose hope, Harlan," she says, quick to put the smile back on her lips. "There are still a few days before anything will be finalized, and of course you can always form your own bonds in training tomorrow."
I nod and try to return her smile, but the action feels weird. I drop my gaze down to my lap and play with the edges of one of the candy wrappers with my fingertips. I don't want Bette to see me look so defeated, but I can't help it. I feel defeated and it's hard not to wear my heart on my sleeve. Especially when I've never been one to be able to fake a smile.
Dallas Audrinne, 17, District Five
"I'm not having an alliance."
I say the words with my eyes locked on Warren's so that he knows how serious I am. The very idea that he wants me to look into the few requests I have gotten from other tributes and mentors is ridiculous. I am not going to trust someone that has this much incentive to put a knife through my neck. No matter what stupid argument Warren has for the idea.
"Honestly you're being ridiculous," he sighs. He hasn't been in my room for more than fifteen minutes and already he has managed to piss me off more than most people have been able to in seventeen years of knowing me.
It's honestly just something about the man that puts me on the defence before he even says a word. Although I know now that I have every right in the world to hate him. After two days of him constantly demeaning my opinions, saying that I don't have enough world experience or real education to make my own decisions about important things. Personally, I don't see how he would know anything about survival. Especially with his coddled Capitol life. I'm far better qualified to decide for myself, and if he thinks I am going to listen to a single demand he makes then he has a few surprises coming his way.
"It's not your decision," I spit back at him.
"It's my job to instruct you on what's best for your survival," he replies, his back straightening and lips pressing into a thin line. "If you have any thoughts about living through the next few weeks I would suggest you take my advice."
"I'm not having an ally," I say as calmly as I can. The worst thing about talking with him is how flustered he is able to get my by hardly even saying anything at all. I keep trying to not let him get to me, but every time I see him I break that. It's just something about him that so easily gets under my skin.
It's probably his personality. I have always had an intolerance for bullshit.
"Well I already accepted the offer from the District Seven mentor," he shrugs, giving the sideways smile he has given me every time he goes behind my back to 'do something for me'.
"You did what?" I don't even think about taking the hatred out of my words. This is beyond anything he has done before. I've told him every time he has brought up the subject that I am not going to even entertain the possibility of an alliance. It takes every ounce of willpower not to slap him right across his smug face.
"You weren't going to listen, and she is the ideal ally," he says, seemingly unaware of my outburst. "From what I have observed of her and what her mentor has said, she is exactly what you're looking for. Very keen, intelligent, quiet-"
"One problem," I interrupt before he can say anything more about her. "I'm not looking for anyone."
"Not anymore, Merryn Celtey is exactly what you need to boost your ratings," he replies.
"I don't want an alliance!"
"Merryn is currently standing in the top five in viewer ratings, the public love her. She is composed and poised and, well, pretty much everything you're not. You need her. You've been falling in your ratings since after your commercial aired."
"Maybe it was those stupid lines you had me read," I shoot back.
"I doubt it," he says sharply. "Regardless, you need a way back into the public's good books and she is just that. They love her and if they associate you with her then I'm hoping that will bring up your rating."
"I don't care about some stupid rating."
"You really should." He pulls at the tie around his neck and sighs again. "I heard that they are considering introducing sponsorships after the Games begin. Wealthy people will be able to send in money to buy things that will tip the odds in favour of their favourites."
"I don't need gifts," I snort.
"Oh but honey you do." He leans in close and puts his hand on my knee, which I promptly swat away. "And don't trick yourself into thinking that this thing is going to go down fairly, because I can promise you it won't. Though I'm certain they don't want a hero for a winner, they also most definitely don't want a villain. Don't act all high and mighty like you don't need to kiss Panem's ass to win."
I am taken back by his words, but I don't allow the surprise to show on my face. I will not, no matter what I do, let him think he's won me over by his fancy speech. I roll my eyes as if I couldn't care less what he just said, but I can't ignore the lump in my throat or the heaviness that has settled on my chest.
I'm no sell out, not by a long shot. I've always been me and nothing less, nothing more. It's been something I have always prided myself, the fact that I can honestly tell myself that I have never changed to suit anybody's needs. I've been a take it or leave it kind of girl since forever and a day. I don't have any desire to stray from that mentality. I don't think I would be able to live with myself if I did.
But I also know that can't live with myself if I'm dead.
Song: Blackened by Metallica.
A/N: I wasn't planning on updating this week, but I sat down and started writing and ended up finishing the chapter. I'm not sure when the next update will be, life is hectic right now. Hopefully things will be back to normal around this time next week with respect to updates. Don't quote me on that, though.
I know a lot of you have been wondering in your reviews about it, but yes there will be training (next chapter). Don't expect it to be anything like the training you read about in Suzanne Collins' book. This is the 1st Hunger Games, remember that.
Thank you to everyone that has continued reviewing, and any of you who recently started. They are very helpful for me, especially with this story being a bit outside of expectation for me. I like to know what you think of the changes I have made, whether you like them or absolutely think they are stupid!
Has your opinion about Ariella, Harlan, or Dallas changed from this chapter?
What do you think about the Mentors? Who are your favourites so far?
So yeah, like I said, not sure about my update schedule for the next little while. Hopefully I will update sooner than I am expecting to, but we will have to see. Until next time!