In all honesty this was born because there wasn't enough Davekat and I wanted to contribute, but I was a Johnkat fan when I started Homestuck and became a Davekat trash while reading the comic, way before the update though, so I wanted that to be present here but I lost all inspiration in this story so I'm making it a lot shorter than I originally intended

Chapter 9: In which the characters talk though pesterchum/trollian

The computer is still, nothing happens, Karkat groans yet again, a ping sound tells him someone is pestering him, he dreads it being Sollux but finds the very short and very much modified handle of his moirrail, thank fucking gog

- MoonShoes [MS]began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

MS: Zupziez!

MS: My 'your moirrail iz in pain' inztintz were tingling

MS: Zo I dessided to check out on you

MS: Waz my human think pan correct

MS: ((have I ever told you how much I like the troll termz for thingz? I zhould have))

CG: FIRST OF

CG: WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE ACTUALLY GOOD AT THE MOIRRAILIGANCE STUFF

CG: SECOND

CG: FUCK YOU, I'M FINE

MS: Kar, I can zee you bulzhiting me from here

MS: My houze izn't that cloze to yourz

MS: Zo tell me what'z up

CG: FUCK, FINE

CG: I'M JUST FAILING AT CODING LIKE USUAL

CG: REALLY, I CAN FEEL CAPTOR LAUGHING AT ME IN THE DISTANCE

MS: Want me to give your codez a look?

CG: WHY?

Ms: I know thingz

MS: Ou

CG: THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEEDED

CG: YET ANOTHER PERSON WHO IS BETTER AT THIS SHIT THAN ME

CG: YOU'RE MAKING GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS ON THE MOIRRAILIEGANCE CONOUNDRUM

CG: CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS

MS: *Bowz*

MS: But zeriouzly

MS: I juzt happen to have a handy hacker in my vissinity

MS: Or rather, I have Benedict here and he'z good with that ztuff

MS: He zayz he doezn't mind giving it a look, zo…

MS: You zhould be glad, he izn't nisse all that often

CG: FINE, I'LL SEND THE FILE TO YOU

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] sent file: FUCKTHISHIT -

MS: Ressieved

MS: Wow

CG: WHAT

MS: Kar, did you zeriouzly write this?

CG: WHAT?

CG: WHY ARE YOU ASKING?

MS: Well, it'z a very volatile viruz

MS: I can tell that much and I'm not that good at thiz myzelf

MS: Benedict iz juzt ztaring at it

MS: It'z creeping me out

CG: OK, CALM DOWN NOOKWHIFF

CG: CALL HIS NAME OR SOMETHING

CG: I DON'T KNOW

MS: I did

MS: I think he'z crying

MS: Kar, you made Ben cry, I'm zo proud

MS: Not gonna tell you what he zayz though

MS: He'z being a rude cookie

CG: NO, WHAT DOES HE SAY

MS: Urgh, fine

MS: He zayz you're a zhitty hacker and zhould not be allowed near a computer

CG: WOW, I DIDN'T NEED TO HEAR THAT

MS: Zee, I didn't want to tell you

MS: Don't worry though I hit him zquare in the head

MS: Made him fall to the ground and everything

CG: THANKS, I GUESS

MS: Don't mention it

MS: But to be fair, zinsse I juzt pretty much put your work on view of Zollux number two

MS: Let me make it up to you

CG: SURE, WHATEVER

MS: And pleze don't tell Captor I zaid anything related to the number two

MS: Neither of uz would hear the end of it

CG: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME

MS: There'z way too much pinkizh-violet in this converzation

MS: You zure you're fine?

CG: YEAH, NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY

MS: Ok

MS: I'm ztill making thingz up to you

MS: You juzt wait

MS: Pyl !

- MoonShoes [MS] left the log

CG: UGH

CG: SURE

- carcinoGeneticist [CG]ceased trolling MoonShoes [MS]-

Remember how this was supposed to be better than talking to Captor? Guess what? It wasn't, ok maybe it sort of was, at least Robin tried not to be mean about stuff and she promised to make it up to him which sounds good

==Meanwhile

Robin smiles at her screen and goes into the lower names on pesterchum and finds that the one she wants is connected

- MoonShoes [MS]begun pestering timaeusTestified [TT]-

MS: Haz anyone ever told you that your handle iz overly complicated

MS: 'Cauze it iz

TT: You a couple times

TT: Some of them you even said hi before starting to spout lisp-y randomness

MS: I think you are confuzzed Ztrider

TT: Fair enough

TT: You said "zupziez"

MS: That'z better

TT: You made me do air quotes; how dare you?

MS: Oh, zhuzh you!

MS: Anyway I'm in the middizt of one of my mazter planz

MS: Zo I need you to do zomething for me

TT: Depends on what you ask

TT: And don't threaten me with that one thing 'cause we both know you're saving it for the right time

MS: You know me a little too well

MS: I have conflicted feelingz about that

MS: But it zhould be zimple enough

MS: I juzt need to talk to your brother

TT: Who you setting him up with?

MS: Dirk

MS: DIRK

MS: Are you aware of what you're azking right now?

TT: Fair enough

TT: I'll get him here

TT: yo

MS: Zupziez

MS: I'm guezzing you're either trolling with me or really Dave

TT: i'm Dave

TT: you do realize you could have just asked for my chumhandle

TT: instead of you know, making me talk through here

TT: that way you wouldn't have to worry about getting trolled by bro

MS: I could also have juzt hacked my way into pezterchum and found it on my own

MS: But that wouldn't have indulged that reazonable amount of red text now would it?

MS: 'Zidez, this iz fazter

TT: i'm not gonna ask

MS: You zhould

MS: ´Cauze I have zome info you might want Ou

TT: ok no, i'm not discussing this in bro's chum

TT: i'll send you a proper log damnit

MS: OwO

- timaeusTestified [TT]left the log -

Robin lays back in her chair trying to imagine a flustered Dave, she wonders if it'll be anything like a flustered Dirk, probably

Oh, look, a log!

- turntechGodneck [TG]begun pestering MoonShoes [MS]-

TG: so

MS: I have dessided that I'll help you out a little

MS: 'Cauze you really need a reazon to keep talking to him now

TG: i should probably be weary considering how your last idea turned out

TG: but i have consideration for all these other people who think you're some kind of goddess

TG: so what are you planning?

MS: Well, I'm planning to take my moirrail out zoon

MS: And I couldn't be blamed if we crozzed wayz with you

MS: Ou

TG: you are an evil girl Aresta

MS: I'm a evil geniuz Ztrider

MS: Pyl~

- MoonShoes [MS]left log -

TG: you didn't give me any details though

TG: so i guess you haven't thought anything up

TG: that or you're bulshiting me

TG: idk which one would be better

- turntechGodneck [TG]ceased petering MoonShoes [MS]-

==Be Robin

You grin and open the searcher, time to do some plotting, this time, to pull out a very rom-com kind of move, only you know better

Your name is Robin Aresta and this is going to be your best play yet, although you should also talk to Dirk, you see he re-joined the conversation

- timaeusTestified [TT] re-joined the log -

MS: I zee you're back here

MS: Which meanz Dave probably pestered me from hiz computer

MS: Zo, you had queztionz

TT: Oh, nothing out of this world

TT: Just wanna know who my bro's crush is

TT: Thought you would tell me that much

MS: I can tell you now if you ztill want to know

TT: I do want to know

MS: 'Kay

MS: Do you remember that zhouty troll that hangz around with Zollux?

MS: Well, your bro iz very gay for him

MS: Don't tell him I told you though

TT: You put me o a tight spot Aresta

TT: Giving me these perfect materials and then asking me not to touch them

MS: Zorry, but you will be able to bother them all you want onsse they ztart zeing each other

MS: Ou

TT: I can see your brain cells working from here

TT: I want in on the plot this time around

MS: That'z beautiful

MS: Totally could uze another heart for thiz

MS: Can't azk Nep about it

MS: I think zhe'z ztill into Kar

TT: That's a shame

TT: When we're done with this lets get her someone too

MS: You're a beautiful zoul Ztrider

MS: Don't let anyone tell you otherwize

- MoonShoes [MS]ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]-