Each One Lost by Bruce Cockburn

If that sounds like confusion,
Brother think again.
We know exactly what we chose.

Arena Day Eight

Danican Tobin, 16, District Three

"Are these things set up right? Not one of them has been set off yet."

I choose not to answer him. I'm simply too tired to handle Adriel right now. I have been working for hours on end to set up these traps by myself, and he's done absolutely nothing to help me. Every time I ask him for a hand he makes up a reason why he can't. I know that this might not be his forte, but in all honesty it's not mine either.

I have spent a lot of my life building and making things, but I've never made something strong enough to trap a human being. It's difficult, and the supplies aren't quite what I need to be able to make the things. I have to improvise a lot, and that along with the physical and emotional exertion is beginning to wear on me. I just want him to help me do was his idea in the first place.

"Are you going to answer me?"

I turn and see Adriel with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed at me. I feel my body wilt under his stare and I hate the feeling that it gives me. I don't want to be afraid of him, but I am. I hate how he is acting now, it's so different from how he was when we met in training. More than anything, though, I hate that I am too terrified to stand up to him.

"I'm sorry," I say softly. "They worked when I tested them, so I think they should work."

"Think and should are not exactly telling me that you know what you're doing," he says sternly, raising one eyebrow.

I look down at the dirt, trying to keep myself from showing him the hurt in my eyes. I'm doing my absolute best to do what he's asked of me because I thought in some strange way we were becoming friends. I don't understand why he's being so sharp with me when all I'm trying to do is give him what he wants.

He walks over to one of the traps, looking at the rope concealed with moss and leaves. It's not perfectly hidden but it was the best I could do. At least it doesn't look as out of place as it probably could. Especially at night I don't think anyone would really notice it.

"You couldn't have hidden the ropes any better?" He snorts, pointing to one piece of the rope near the bottom of the trunk that has become exposed.

I start over to fix it. I know that it was fully concealed when I left this site, I made sure of that. The wind must have moved the leaves around, but why is he acting like that is my fault? I don't understand what I have done that he feels the need to be so mean.

"Sorry," I mumble under my breath as I scoop up a handful of earth and pour it over the exposed part, feeling Adriel over my shoulder the entire time. When I'm finished I stand up and he is glaring at me. I break his stare almost immediately, I can't help it.

"There wouldn't be a reason to apologize if you were competent enough to do it right the first time," he snaps, turning away from me.

I close my eyes for a second to collect myself. I shouldn't let his words get to me, but it's been days of this. When we met in training I could never have predicted him saying these things to me. I hardly recognize them as being the same person. The Adriel from before was kind and interested in what Jonah and I had to say. This person in front of me couldn't care less about me if he wanted to.

That's the difference. Adriel doesn't care about me, in fact I'm not even sure that he sees me as an ally anymore. All he has done so far is use me and, I realize now, try to use Jonah for the skills he thought we had. Jonah didn't let him, but I have. Everything he's done to me is my fault because I didn't stop him.

I have the sudden urge to push him to the ground, and I almost give into the thought. Before I can make the decision to, I see Adriel trip forward and then just before he hits the ground his body goes flying upwards. It takes me less than a minute to realize what has happened, Adriel has set off the trap.

His eyes are wide as he looks around at the world upside down. His eyes settle on me and suddenly his face goes red, though I'm not sure if it's from the blood rushing to his head or not. He glares at me for a moment, and when I don't make a move to help him he snaps at me again.

"As much as I'm sure you're enjoying the view, it would be much more useful of your time to get me down from here."

The sharp smugness in his voice even now makes something inside me snap. I can feel all the anger that I have been too scared to express begin to boil over. Even at a time when he needs my help he can't even try to be kind to me. I'm done with everything he's thrown at me since we got into this awful place. It's about time he realized that he can't do this without me and started treating me like a partner instead of a tool.

I'm afraid that my voice will break if I try and say something, so I deliver my message by simply turning around and beginning to walk in the opposite direction. I try to ignore Adriel's yelling as I do, knowing that if I give in to him so soon I will not see any change in him. My immediate plan is to let him steam for a while and then cut him down in a while.

That's until I hear the next thing he yells, louder than anything else.

"I'm going to kill you when I get down from here!"

My skin feels cold as I continue to walk away, knowing now that there is no way I'll be able to go back to him now. The feeling of regret that came on abandoning my only remaining ally is swallowed as I get further and further away, leaving only a calming sense of relief.

Santana Belmont, 16, District Two

I close my eyes so that I don't have to look at the boy hanging dead by his ankle as I walk away. I've been right twice now about hanging around near these traps. I'm not quite sure who it was that set them, but there has been no sign of them in the past few days. Either they forgot where they set them or, more likely, they died before they were able to check on them.

I'm not sure if that saddens me or if I'm envious of them.

The tributes who have already been killed in a way have it easier than the rest of us. At least they are out of this place and away from the terrible thought that at any point you could run into your own murderer. This is not a place that I think anyone would ever choose to be. No matter how odd it sounds to be envious of the dead, I am. They have freedom- something I am severely lacking.

I've thought about ending it myself. That night after Venice left me to myself I considered it for hours. It didn't seem worth it to fight fate any longer as each night I was forced to stare into the eyes of those that had failed all the while knowing that I could easily be next. I had to wonder how terribly painful it could be to just end this torture myself.

When I woke up the next morning I couldn't even begin to describe the relief I felt that I was still alive. I held onto the feeling, forcibly and shakily, and that's how I've gotten through the past few days. No matter how strong the urge to give up becomes, I won't allow myself to give in to it. I am going to do everything that is in my power to ensure that my life is preserved.

Staying with Connor and Venice so long has inhibited me from these feelings, this strong desire to live. It might just be the shock or the adrenaline, but I found it oddly easy to put both Connor and the other two boys out of my mind. In a place like this selfishness has to be my first priority and I'm learning that.

If Venice thinks of me as a monster then let him. Isn't that what I need to become in order to survive? A cold, heartless killer like the Capitol wants me to be. After what happened with Connor I have chased off the only person whom I was certain would have my back no matter what. Who is there left to try and impress?

No one who won't understand. No one who I will have to stab in the back to get home where I am needed. With Venice choosing to leave me he has also showed me where we stand. I no longer fear the possibility of it being us two at the end, in fact I welcome it.

I will not allow someone to impact me as much as he has, not ever again. I have lived my life detached from people in order to survive and it was stupid of me to stray from what I knew. I will survive this, I know I can, and no one will hold me back.

If that makes me a monster then so be it. I'd rather be a monster than be dead.

There is a beeping sound from above and I immediately duck to the ground, worrying that something is coming to harm me. My body is trembling against the ground for at least a minute before I risk looking up.

When I do I see a white piece of fabric laying in a puddle at least ten feet away from me next to a thick bush. I scramble to my feet and go over to collect it. When I go to pick up the white fabric, so white and clean that I marvel at the sight of it, I see that there is something underneath it. I inspect the silver case and, upon poking at the sides of it, I find that it opens.

Inside of it there is a bag of oats and berries along with a white piece of paper. Without a second of hesitation I begin to pour the bag of food into my mouth so quickly that I gag as it hits the back of my throat. I haven't had more than a handful of herbs since the incident with Venice and Connor. All of the safe food that we had was in the bag that Venice took with him. Connor became paranoid that someone was going to try and steal from us, so Venice agreed to put poison on a third of our food supply all of which was in the bag he left me along with the gun and knife.

I'd been so hungry these past couple of nights that I almost decided to try my chance at how lethal this poison could really be. Thankfully I haven't yet and I'm not even sure why I've decided to keep holding onto it, knowing that it could very well get me into some trouble if I'm not careful. I just can't seem to bring myself to get rid of it, and who knows it might come in handy.

I don't even think to look at the scrap of paper until after the food is long gone. I unfold it and it takes me a moment to understand how to read the carefully printed letters, it's been such a long time. I bite my lip as I read the short sentence, unable to blink away the tears that gather behind my eyes.

You're doing the right thing, your family must be proud. –Pascal.

I have tried so hard to push all thoughts of my family from my mind, but these words from Pascal have brought them all flooding back at once. I have to rub my fingers against the side of my head to try and quell the headache that begins to burn behind my eyes. If I am going to do this I have to keep all thoughts of my parents out of my head because, despite what Pascal says, they will not be proud of me.

Verden Arell, 16, District Nine

I hit my fists against the side of my head to get the bad thoughts out but it doesn't seem to be working. I didn't even think about Vera last night, but that must have been because I was busy. Now she's all I can think about and I just want to scream at her to get out of my head.

It's good that she's not here anymore, isn't it? She didn't even want to be here. She had given up it was easy to read that just by looking at her face. Vera wasn't worthy of winning, she wasn't willing to do what it takes to survive like I am.

So why do I miss her? I knew she wouldn't be here forever with me, even if it was nice to have someone. I'm better off without anyone to distract me, especially someone like her that doesn't share my desire to live.

I don't miss any of the others, the ones that have died because of me. I didn't even know their names, but even if I did I don't think I would miss them. That's how the world works in this place. Not everyone is going to take the chance to live, even if it's right. They're still stuck in the morals of the old world. They couldn't let go of those and now they're gone. It's not my fault.

If they would have wanted to live they would have fought back. They would have killed me before I killed them. The fact that I'm still here proves that they didn't want it. I want it and I will take it until someone wants to live more than I do. I don't think there is anyone that wants this more than I do. Not one person I have met yet does at least, and there can't be that many more of them left.

The only ones that worry me are the two blonde girls. Eileen is one of them, she managed to escape me because Vera wasn't with me to help. Just the fact that she lived worries me, though, because I don't know where that leaves me. Then the other girl, the one whose name I don't know. She left her ally and then I couldn't find her after that.

Does the fact that they were able to evade me make them more worthy of winning than I am?

I've done too much, lost too much of who I am, to lose now. Winning is the only option I have, and I have played by all their rules so I deserve to win. I have done everything that Petra told me to do and more. No one can say that I haven't been playing the game fully. I don't know what else they could want of me, but if they just made it as clear as putting tributes in my path then I would not hesitate to do that too.

I just want to be able to see my sisters grow up. I have spent more than half of my life trying to take care of them and my mother so that all of them can have the lives they want and deserve. I have worked long hours at the mill so that maybe when they get old enough my sisters won't have to get jobs themselves. I have worked so hard to get my family through all the hard times that we have had to face, and this little game is not going to stand in the way of my family.

I don't care who I have to go through, I am not going to give up. I will not let my family lose their second father figure. That is not an option. I want to win for them, no, I have to win for them.

"Petra just tell me what to do," I whisper up into the sky, hoping that somehow she can hear me. Her words of encouragement in those little silver cases have reminded me again and again what is at stake. I need her encouragement right now. I don't care about the food or the weapons that she has sent with them, I have plenty of both. I just want her words.

I wait for the telltale beeping that tells me I'm about to receive one of her packages, but several minutes later I still don't hear it. I swallow hard, unable to help the feeling of loneliness that swells in my chest. I've never asked for her gifts before, but I figured she must have some way of seeing that I need one. Her words have been too specific for her not to be watching me. She has to know.

Still nothing comes and another few minutes later I resolve to sit down and wait. I'm scared that if I move away from this spot I might miss it, so I know that I have to say.

"Petra, I need you," I whisper, the defeat audible in my voice. "Please, Petra. Please."

The air around me remains silent except for the usual forest sounds, and I finally understand that she is not going to be making contact with me right now. I try to swallow the lump in my throat, comforting myself with the idea that she might have stepped away for some reason and not heard me. Still though, for maybe the first time since I got here, I begin to truly feel alone.

Adriel Maynard, District Five

Song: Each One Lost by Bruce Cockburn.

A/N: Here we are, final six! I still cannot believe how quickly this story has gone by and how fast tributes are falling now. I'd like to apologize to Bo and thank him for making Adriel. Though he was arguably one of the least liked tributes in this story, I loved him from the second I got him. His alliance with Danican/Jonah was a joy to write, and unfortunately for Adriel I have had this death planned out for him for a very long time. I loved him while he lasted, but I never could see him as a Victor no matter how much I adored him.

I am very thankful for every review I am getting, especially from those of you who have already lost your tributes. It honestly makes me so happy to see you all enjoying the story enough to review, so thanks again!

Which tributes do you predict for final three?

Any predictions for the remaining plot outcomes?

Next update shouldn't be too long, a few days probably.

For those of you who haven't yet seen, I have opened up a new story called All Eyes that is going to begin after this story has ended. It is a very interesting (in my opinion) alternate universe involving a new district, new rules, and Gladiators! Hopefully everyone will check it out and maybe submit!