Natasha Romanoff had lost a lot in her life, but nothing compared to the thing she had had stolen from her long ago: a choice. As the final "rite of passage", the Red Room had sterilized her. They took away her power to choose to have a family. She had never shed a tear about it, though. No one showed emotion in the Red Room, and if someone did, they conveniently disappeared.
She remembered waking up after the procedure, scared, confused, and discombobulated. They had drugged her in the middle of the night and raced her down a bright hallway on a stretcher, and the next thing she knew, she was waking up in an unnaturally bright and sterile room. She panicked, trying to break out of the bonds that held her down on the bed. She hated being restrained. The Red Room had always taught her that being restrained was a weakness.
A surgeon dressed in all black silently entered the room.
"Natalia Romanova?"
She nodded.
"Miss Romanova, I am pleased to inform you that you have passed your final test: sterilization. Congratulations. You are free to go."
Her restraints clapped open. She got up, packed her bags, headed into the world, changed her name, and refused to shed a single tear about it.
Natasha woke up sobbing. Her face was soaked. She buried her face in the pillow and released a scream filled to the brim with the anger and resentment she had been shouldering for so long.
The lamp switched on and she felt a gentle hand on her sweaty shoulder.
"Tasha," he said softly.
"What?" She mumbled tearily.
"You okay?" He sat down on the bed.
"What do you think, Barton?" She snapped halfheartedly.
"I'm going to take that as a 'no', then. Bad dream," he stated, knowing exactly why she would be this upset.
She nodded.
He brushed the sweaty, tangled hair out of her face. "Red Room?"
"Yeah."
"You don't have to talk about-"
She cut him off. "No, you should know. They drugged me, middle of the night. I was terrified. Next thing I knew I was waking up, scared and confused and then some doctor came in and told me I..." Her voice broke and she put her head in her hands, frustrated.
He rubbed her back gently. "You're okay," he assured her.
Her head shot up. "No, I'm not! Can't you see?! They sterilized me. I can't have kids. They took away any choice I had."
Clint sat there, shocked. "They...did this to you?!"
She nodded grimly.
"They hurt you like this?!" He was angry now.
She nodded sullenly.
"I'm going to fix this. I'm going to make things right. I don't care what Fury says."
"Clint, please. Don't hurt anyone. We've got enough blood on our hands already. I've come to terms with it. You should too."
"You shouldn't have had to come to terms with anything, Tasha. This is wrong." He took her hands in his. "I swear, Tasha, we will find a way to fix this. Whatever it takes."
One tear traced its way down her red, tearstained face. "Thank you."