"Cassie, can you remind me how we ended up in this position again?" A somewhat confused Jacqui asked as she looked at their seating arrangement.
Cassie blew a bubble with her gum until it popped. "What? You're telling me that you don't want to sit next to Dick Hale?"
Jacqui couldn't help but to let out a light laugh at her words, but then shook her head. "Good one, but no. I actually wanted to sit next to Takeda." Glancing over at Takeda, who was squished in between her father and Erron Black, she could tell by the almost miserable look on his face that he wanted the same.
"Ah, don't worry about it. You two will have plenty of time to kiss and cuddle when we get back to Earthrealm."
"You mean 'if' we get back."
"I don't know about you, but I'm definitely getting back." She turned her nose up at the thought of staying on Earth much longer. "I've only been here one night and I'm already sick of this place. The people suck, the transportation sucks, the living conditions suck—the only thing that isn't half bad is the food."
"I know, right? Nick wasn't lying when he said he could cook. Those eggs and bacon hit the spot."
"He did say it was one of his natural talents, although he left out being a psychotic, perverted jerk."
"Think he could really pole dance too? You might want to kiss and cuddle with him, Cassie…"
She rolled her eyes. "Is it that you want me to vomit?"
"What? You're telling me that you wouldn't want to receive a pole dance from Dick Hale?" Jacqui smirked.
Cassie grinned at her friend. "Alright, I asked for that one." She then glanced at where Takeda was sitting. "Hey, maybe if you're really sneaky, you can switch places with Uncle Jax before—"
"Ladies!" What seemed like from out of nowhere, Nick appeared and sat down in the seat he saved for himself in between the two friends. "Did you miss me?"
"And it's too late."
Jacqui let out a sigh and looked away. They'd only been on the bus for ten minutes and in that time, Nick had managed to make even more enemies out of the Mortal Kombat characters. His first mistake was bringing them on a cramped and overheated bus—of course, he didn't have many options as far as transportation went, so that wasn't entirely his fault. The second problem was the seating arrangements; he thought he was doing them a service by not placing certain people next to each other in order to avoid a potential fight. However, he didn't seem to realize or care that they people he had them sit next to was even worse.
"Sorry I was away from you two for so long, but Connie and Clyde just insisted upon sitting next to Kenshi, so I had to change a few seats around. So far, I think that I did a pretty good job." He ignored the group's mutual irritated expression and turned to Raiden, who he made sure was sitting across from him. "Comfortable, Raiddy?"
"…"
"Raiddy?" Sub Zero asked from the other side of Cassie.
"Yeah, it's a cross between Raiden and daddy. I figure this is a compromise we can both be happy with."
"…he doesn't look happy with it."
Nick glanced back at the Thunder god and saw that indeed, he did not look happy with it. "He'll come around…hopefully."
"Um, Nick?" Connie snapped her fingers to get his attention and then subtly pointed to the spectre sitting in the far back of the bus. Nick thought it would be in their best interest to sit him a good distance away, among the regular group of people. "Look at the way he's looking at the bus driver."
Scorpion was glaring furiously in the bus driver's direction. He'd been doing so for a while now and in the past few minutes, he started growling as well. Several people turned their heads and looked at him, which only seemed to increase his rage.
"What about it? It's the same way I look at half my teachers."
She grimaced. "Nick, for once, look at the situation seriously."
"I am, Conster. The situation is that we have fourteen Mortal Kombat characters in our lives right now. Were all on a bus, tightly cramped against each other, going to the mall—how much more serious do you want me to be?"
"Enough that you'll talk to Scorpion before he slaughters somebody!" Quickly getting irritated with her brother's nonchalant attitude, Connie yelled louder than she intended. When people turned to her, she looked down, embarrassed.
Nick laughed. "See what happens when you forget to take your medicine, Con-gress?
If looks could kill.
"You and your brother have a very playful relationship, huh?" Kenshi asked suddenly.
"Playful…sure…that's one word for it."
"Though you two are twins, you behavior suggests that you're the older sibling."
"Believe it or not, the same could be said about a two year old standing next to Nick."
He smiled warmly. "I appreciate you two dedicating your time to helping us get back home. I know my friends may have mixed feelings about this situation, but I'm grateful."
Connie relaxed, her worries about Scorpion washing away upon hearing her favorite character's words. "It's no problem, really. I'm glad to help you guys out. If you need anything while your hear, just ask me or Nick…preferably me."
"Will do."
"Stop squishing me!" Reptile growled and bumped Kung Jin's arm.
Kung Jin frowned and bumped his arm back. "You think I want to be this close to you? Just in case you didn't know, the smell of frog is not appealing."
"I'm not a frog!"
"Toad, excuse me."
Before one of the twins could attend to the situation which turned into an arm bumping match, another one appeared between D'Vorah and Johnny Cage. D'Vorah was threatening to unleash a hoard of bugs on him if he didn't stop bumping her.
Johnny held up his hands innocently and grinned. "Sorry, it was an accident. I didn't bug you, did I?"
She frowned deeply. "The Hive is going to enjoy feeding on you."
"No!" Connie shouted when it looked like she was going to take her pincers out.
"No!" Nick shouted when Reptile made like he was going to make a slime ball.
At this point the people of the bus were highly confused and some of them got off at the next stop, sensing the danger. Many stayed, however, and those were the unlucky ones. They thought they were confused, but they didn't know the real definition of the word until Scorpion jumped up and yelled in the direction of the bus driver.
"If you cannot keep your eyes to yourself then you will lose them!"
"Scorpion, you can't do that!" It was Nick's turn to jump up this time and after assuring Cassie and Jacqui that he'd be right back, he made his way down the aisle to Scorpion. Against his better judgment, he leaned in to whisper to him. "Listen, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to be calm…and not attack everything with a pulse…but I need you to try. We're almost to the mall. Just sit back down please."
"I will do no such thing! He will lose more than his eyes!"
The bus, which had been stopped for a moment to let more people off, suddenly closed its doors and pulled forward. The momentum of the sudden movement caused Scorpion to fall back into his seat.
"That's a good resurrected fire ninja." Nick gave him a look of approval and as if that was all there was to it, proceeded to walk back to his seat. "Hey girls, I know you missed me, but I'm going to have to request that you don't fight each other in order to hug me. There's enough of me to go around."
"Is there enough of you that both of us could attack?" Jacqui said. "That's the real question."
"Jacqui, my ebony queen, I sense a little underlying hostility in your tone."
"Only a little? I was sure there was a lot more."
He turned to Cassie. "Did you do something to upset her? I love you Cassie, but I can't have you upset my future wife…however, seeing as you are also my future wife, I can't have her upset you either. This may pose a problem if one of you gets jealous over how much time I'm spending with the other. I wonder if there's some sort of handbook available for how to keep your wives happy…"
"I don't know," Cassie started and rolled her eyes, "but while you're looking for that, see if there's handbook available for how to kiss my—"
"Cass," Takeda interrupted her. "We can switch seats if you want."
Nick opened his mouth to tell him no, but he couldn't stop something else from coming out instead. "EIFFEL TOWER!"
Several of the passengers on the bus looked at Nick this time, causing him to look away, slightly embarrassed. It was his sister's turn to laugh at him this time. "See what happens when you forget to take your medicine, Nick?"
He glowered at her, but then turned back to Takeda. "I'm sorry Takeda, but Cassie has to sit here."
"Why?" Takeda shot him a look, knowing there was no good reason for her sit next to him.
Wanting to deter him from asking any more questions, Nick just smiled and tapped his own head a few times. Catching the signal to read his mind, Takeda did so, but immediately regretted it as soon as he realized that his thoughts were once again inappropriate.
Grimacing, he turned away. "You're disgusting."
Nick laughed at Takeda's discomfort, confident that he wouldn't reveal the private thoughts this time.
"What was he thinking?" Sonya demanded, a frown on her face.
"…I'd rather not say, General, but it wasn't about you." Takeda hesitated and then looked at the floor. "…but now it is."
"Listen you little punk," Sonya started and pointed at Nick. "I'd appreciate it if you kept your thoughts on returning us to our world and only that."
"That's a hard task to ask of me when you look so beautiful."
Johnny spoke up then. "He's got a point, baby."
Sonya shot Johnny a hard look. "What did I say about calling me 'baby'?"
"That you liked it, right?"
"Cage, you're on thin ice with me."
"Maybe I should enlist in Sub Zero's help then."
Cassie blew another bubble until it popped. "Ladies and Gentlemen, my happily married parents. If you try real hard, I'm sure you too can have a successful relationship like theirs."
Sonya cut her eyes at her daughter for a moment, but before she could respond, Scorpion caught her attention as well as everyone else's. Letting out an angry cry, he jumped up and then grabbed a man that was sitting across from him and threw him to the floor. The bus immediately came to a stop, making it all the easier for Scorpion to grab the man again. He held him in the air by the neck.
"You want to see so badly?! I'll give you a closer look!"
"Ah—help!" The man was launched out the window in the next few seconds.
Several of the people started to panic then; some got up and started running to the front while others tried to escape using the emergency exit. There was a few that decided to stay and take out their phones to record him, but they were launched out the window shortly after.
"All of you will suffer!"
When he grabbed an old woman, Nick and Connie jumped up. They spoke in unison. "Scorpion, put her down!"
"I'll put her down…six feet down!" He threw the woman out the window as well.
"My hip!"
Nick, who had been looking extremely concerned, couldn't help but to laugh at that. Connie and several of the characters looked disgusted with Nick, but turned their attention back to the angry spectre who set his sights on the bus driver again.
"You will rue this day foolish mortal!" Petrified, the bus driver got out of his seat, opened the door and ran out. The spectre stalked angrily to the front of the bus, toward the door. "I will shatter every bone in your body!"
Nick jumped in his way before he got past him. "Scorpion, what happened? I thought we came to an understanding. I asked you to sit down, you declined angrily, but ended up sitting back down anyway—remember?"
"I am going to destroy that man! Either you will step aside or be destroyed in the process!"
"A man on a mission. I can appreciate that." Nick nodded and politely stepped aside to let Scorpion pass.
Connie's jaw dropped when she saw him basically give Scorpion the go ahead to run wild and kill an innocent man. Seeing no other real choice, she bit her lip in nervousness and forced herself to block his path. She quickly closed the door and stood in front of it before Scorpion could go past her. She swore she saw flames in his white eyes as he stopped in front of her.
"You dare challenge me?"
"Me? No, no, no, no, no…no. The last thing I'm doing is challenging you; unlike my brother, I am intelligent. I just…I can't let you hurt the bus driver or anymore people. They've done nothing wrong."
"They did everything wrong! They're mere existence is a wrong!"
"Technically your existence in this world is a wrong, so…"
He reach over his shoulder and pulled out his sword. "If you don't wish to lose your head, you will move aside."
"Don't be stupid Ex-Con; just move." Nick hissed at his from his seat, making no attempt to help her. "It's just the bus driver; it's not like he has a job worth living for."
She ignored her brother and stood her ground. "Scorpion, I can't let you do this. Look, people are going to stare at you in this world, alright? It's a part of life…especially when one's eyes are white and their soul is dark. You have to deal with it."
Not wanting to acknowledge what she'd said, he growled and glared harder at her. He wouldn't accept anything he didn't want to! All she was doing was wasting precious time he could be using to brutally kill the bus driver! With an increased amount of rage, he lifted his sword in the air. Connie shut her eyes tight and she cowered slightly, putting her hands over her head.
"Connie, no!" She heard Nick call out to her.
After several seconds passed without pain, she slowly reopened her eyes. She was beyond surprised to find Kenshi standing over her, his hand having caught Scorpion's arm before he landed the blow.
"She's right, my friend. You need to calm down. We can't allow you to continue to hurt these innocent people."
After recovering from the shock, Scorpion snatched his arm back. "I am not your friend, swordsman!"
"I know Hanzo is in there somewhere." He offered a smile. "It'd be in your best interest to take a seat, Scorpion. As Nicholas Hale has already said, we're almost to the mall."
"You wish to challenge me?!"
"That isn't what I said, but if it's a challenge you seek…" He pulled out his sword too. "My ancestors will guide me to success."
"Your ancestors are in the Netherrealm…as you will be soon."
Without warning, Takeda pulled himself from between the two men that were squishing him, and stood up to join his father. "You'll have to face the both of us, Scorpion."
"Three of us," Jacqui said, standing up as well. Nick tried to grab her arm to stop her, but he wasn't able to get a good grip before she walked over to Takeda's side.
"You might want to rethink your options," Cassie told Scorpion as she went to stand next to her team.
Not long after, Kung Jin joined and then Jax, Johnny and Sonya. The rest of the group joined as well, and surprisingly some joined Scorpions side. They bickered amongst themselves about the outcome of this battle for a few minutes.
Quietly, as to not bring attention to himself, Nick hissed at Raiden, who still sat across from him. There was a concerned look on his face. "Raiddy, aren't you going to do anything? I need you to stop them. We're in public this time; this is not okay!"
Raiden didn't look happy with how he addressed him, but he gave him a nod of agreement anyway. He then teleported in between the divided groups which were essentially who wanted to hurt innocent people and who didn't. He shot a bolt of lightning at the ceiling to get their attention and then proceeded to speak to them.
Meanwhile, Connie managed to sneak past the group over to where her brother was.
"Good going, Con-troversial Issues! You couldn't have just let him kill the bus driver; you had to let your morals intercede."
"Morals? Is that why you think I risked my life to stop him? Because my morals were so strong?" She grimaced. "This is more than just one man's life, Nick. If we didn't stop Scorpion, he would do this again and again. He just threw like six people out the window! We'd end up with a pile of dead bodies—all that blood on our hands."
"You mean on his hands."
"No, I mean on ours. Somebody's going to have to pay for those lives, and when Scorpion returns to his world, guess who it's going to be?"
"…you?"
Connie punched him in the chest as a kneejerk reaction. "You can't just let Scorpion get away with what he wants. I know he's scary—terrifying would be a better word actually—but you have to step up and put him in his place."
"And how do you expect me to do that?"
"How about not politely stepping aside for him when he wants to kill someone? Or laughing when he breaks an elderly woman's hip? There's a start."
Nick chuckled lightly again at the thought, earning himself another punch to the chest. He grimaced as rubbed the spot where she punched him and then glanced at the spectre who was yelling his head off at Raiden. He didn't particularly want to agree, but he didn't have much of a choice. As much as he hated to admit it, his sister was right. "Fine. I guess you're right."
She let out a sigh of relief that she was finally able to get through to him. "It's for the best. You may get a few beatings, but you'll get his respect too."
His eyes were low at the thought. "I'm looking forward to it."
After another minute or so, Raiden appeared in front of them, having successfully calmed down the group. "I have spoken to them, Nicholas Hale, and they are calm for the time being."
"Even Scorpion?"
"Scorpion's misguided anger has been assuaged for a moment. He will no longer try to pursue the bus driver, but he is still very agitated. It is in your best interest to not bother him further or else he will likely strike without warning."
"VEGETARIAN!"
"…vegetarian?"
"Blah, I can't believe I just said that with my mouth." Nick was disgusted with himself. "I'd sooner become a cannibal before I gave up meat."
Connie looked disturbed and took a step away from her brother.
"Anyway," Raiden said, slightly disturbed as well, "How are we to get the mall now? The bus driver is long gone, I suspect."
"Good question, Raiddy!" He pondered on it for a few seconds. "I could drive the bus there…"
"No, you're not," Connie said immediately.
"…but as you can see, Con-Artist is not fond of my driving skills," he said with a grin. "Also, it's probably best not to get caught driving the evidence, since I'm 97.4 percent sure that one of those scared citizens called the police. So I figure we'll walk. It's just down the street from here."
"Alright." Raiden nodded, more comfortable with walking in the first place.
Just as Nick cleared his throat, ready to announce the plan to the group, his sister touched his arm. "Before we leave, I think we should have a little talk with them."
"About?"
"About how to act in the mall."
"Really, Conster? I think they can handle themselves properly in a mall."
"Yeah, you're right. I think an acid spitting lizard and a bald bug woman know exactly how to act in a confined area full of people."
"That's exactly what I think too." He turned back to the group. "So everyone if you'll line up at the door, we're going to walk to—"
Connie pinched him. "Talk to them about it, Nick."
"Fine." He looked unwilling, but if it'd make his sister quit nagging him, he'd do it. "Listen you guys, we're going to walk to rest of the way to the mall. It's just down the street. Before that though, we need to have a brief discussion about how to act in the mall."
"It won't take long," Connie spoke as well, "we just need to make sure we're all on the same page. Like those rules Nick spoke of earlier, there are some for the mall too."
Jax let out a gruff sound. "Why are there so many rules?"
"Because we need structure here in our world. You guys can go out and kill everything in sight, but we can't…or at least, we can't if we don't want to end up in jail."
"What are the rules for the mall?" Reptile demanded. "I will decide if I will heed them or not."
"You will heed them, Reptile. If you want to get back home, you will heed them," Connie warned.
Nick walked toward the group. "Number One: Don't act like yourself. Period. You all are destructive, uncultured, mean, violent and frankly, rude. People won't take well to that, so don't be yourselves."
Erron rolled his eyes. "Then, pray tell, who should would be?"
"Well, if you need an example, me and Conster. We are who you should strive to be like."
"So basically a hormonal teenager?" Sonya asked.
Connie made a face. "I'm not hormonal…"
"No. Just a regular teenager. Believe it or not, we're normal for our age. You'll encounter a lot of people like us in the mall."
"This One hopes not," D'Vorah said suddenly, grimacing.
Nick looked at her. "D'Vorah, my sweet, hairless, disgusting lady, me and my sister are just the tip of the iceberg."
"What Nick means to say is that people are weird on this planet. So you should try to tone down on the violence and abrasiveness."
"Actually, what I meant to say was that you should practice acting like us."
Connie turned to him, slightly confused. "What? Is that really necessary?"
"Yeah. Just to make sure they can handle it. Um…Kung Jin you pretend to be me and Mileena—you've been awful quiet—you pretend to be my sister," he said as he made everyone give them some room.
"I miss Mittens," Mileena grumbled, her arms folded across her chest.
Nick looked more understanding. "Did you like him? He's great isn't he? We've had him since he was a puppy."
"Mittens is more than great. He and I will rule Outworld together one day."
Before Nick could respond, Erron let out a 'pfft' sound. "You'll never be the ruler of Outworld."
When Mileena turned to glare at him, Nick grabbed her arm and moved her to the open space next to Kung Jin. "Sweetheart, ignore him. You can be ruler…in your head. For now though, we need to focus on practice." He backed up and then purposely brushed past them. "Now, you're walking normally and somebody bumps into you by accident. You…?"
"Demand an apology," Mileena said. "If they refuse, force one out of them."
"Tell them to watch where they're going." Kung Jin shrugged.
Nick made a face. "No…neither of those were correct. Try again, but think of me and Connie." He backed up and brushed past them again. "What do you do?"
Mileena took a moment to think about Connie's possible reaction. "Quiver with fear?"
Connie frowned; she didn't expect an Oscar worthy performance or response, but she certainly wasn't looking for that one either. She let it slide though; it was only Day 2, they just didn't know her well enough yet.
"Ignore them," Kung Jin, tired of this already, said what he thought Nick wanted to hear.
"Both of you are wrong and right. While that is a reasonable response from my sister, it's not appropriate. Mileena, you're better off just saying excuse me or ignoring them. Now Jin, if it's a male or ugly female, ignore them. If it's a pretty female, you might want to try to get her number…"
"Nick." Connie got her brother's attention quickly and then shook her hand back and forth in front of her neck as if to gesture 'bad idea'. "No…just no."
"What? I'm trying to help him out."
"No. Trust me. It won't work."
Nick looked confused, but then thinking his sister was just nagging him, rolled his eyes. "Anyway, it's up to you Jin." Kung Jin started to say something, but Nick just pushed him and Mileena toward the door. "Go wait over there. Once everybody's had a turn, we'll leave. Who's next?" He didn't wait for a response. "Sub Zero and D'Vorah, thank you."
The two glanced at each other and then reluctantly stepped up.
"Hmm…a person offers you something to drink. You say?"
Sub Zero thought this was an easy one. "Thank you."
D'Vorah looked uninterested. "This One is not thirsty. You may leave our presence now."
"Wrong, wrong, wrong, Sub Zero. Correct, more or less, D'Vorah." Nick said, surprising the ice man. "Look Sub Zero, I don't blame you for not knowing, because this probably isn't a thing you have to worry about in your world. But here, taking drinks from people is a big no-no. They could've put something in it—if someone offers you an open drink, it could be drugged."
Connie facepalmed. "Nick…first of all, I doubt they'd be trying to drug a grown man that's freezing. And secondly, we're going to the mall not some rave party."
"You never know, Conster-pated. I'm just trying to be on the safe side." He turned back to the two. "So Sub Zero, when someone offers you a drink, you say?"
"I will not allow you to drug me." He made and ice ball in his hand and then crushed it angrily.
"We could do without that last little ice crushing part, but essentially yeah, you've got it." He moved the two along to the door. "Next? How about Reptile and Jacqui?"
They two looked like this was a waste of time and that they didn't want to do it, but they were forced to step up.
"Let's see…someone's little brat runs over and kicks you in the leg. Your response is to…?"
"Grab the child and threaten him with death if he does it again." Reptile looked irritated by the thought.
Jacqui gave him a weird look. "Or you can just, you know, tell his parent."
"While I can understand your frustration Reptile, I'm going to have to side with my love on this one," Nick explained. "To avoid jail time, you should just tell his parent or go on about your way. However…if the parent is not looking, you can try to secretly kick the child back. Not too hard though or you know, he'll die."
Connie intervened immediately. "No! Not at all! Do not kick the child back, Reptile!"
Nick waited for Connie to look away before he looked back at Reptile silently motioned for him to kick the child. He then cleared his throat and pushed the two toward the door. "But yeah, that's the basic idea. Good job. I hope everybody's paying attention. Next?"
This went on until every one of the characters got a chance to give a 'normal reaction'. Then Connie and Nick allowed the characters outside and they led them down the street to the mall.
Really sorry this chapter took a long time to update guys. I was really sick these past few weeks. How do you even get sick in May? Anyway, I hope you laughed as always. Thanks for all those reviews! And Sutori-Artifex I'm glad you think I'm doing much better this time around; I appreciate that. I hope this chapter is up to your standards, because I want that cookie! :P