Disclaimer: I own nothing;
A/N: Thanks to RoseLaurel and everyone who read or reviewed this story.
"You think you're gay or you're gay ?" Fran asked.
"I don't know who am I exactly." Morgan replied pressing his hands together, not ready to admit out aloud (to himself or others) his homosexuality.
Fran was kind of troubled by her son's revelation. She always guessed that her son was straight.
Guessed was the right word because he never talked about his love interests or introduced her to any of the women she supposed he was dating. Of course as a concerned mother, she tried to find out complementary information about his love life and oftenly teased him about her nonexistent grandchildren but she respected his privacy.
Even as a teenager, he had been discreet about his feelings, especially after his father's death. Many times, she tried to reach him; to understand his pain but overwhelming by her own sadness and the life of a single mother of three, she became less present for him.
As the years passed, she started to be worried sick about his future: he began to spent his time in the streets, befriended with people who pushed him in a wrong path and even got arrested.
Then something happened. Carl Buford stepped in his life and put him in the right track. She was so glad that her son found a father figure than she didn't question the coach's real intentions.
She wanted to blame that monster for turning her baby boy gay but it wasn't fair and it would only made him more lost and uncomfortable in his skin. She wanted his happiness and if he thought that he could find it with a man, she needed to be supportive and not negative or judgmental.
Morgan began to be worried by his mother's silence. Her mom was tolerant and religious. Perhaps she found the idea of her only son been intimate with men wrong or, worse disgusting and he wanted - needed - to know what she was thinking about it: "Please, say something."
"What you want me to say. You're my son, I love you and If you're gay, I'm okay with it. "
For him, all these years of hiding his sexuality was motivated by the fact that he convinced that nobody would accept his sexual preference. He was sure that if people he cared about knew he was gay, they would react like he had a terrible disease or worse, cut him off of their lives. Her words were nice to hear but he didn't truly believe them and anxiously asked "You're okay with that ? So you're not going to change your mind and realize that you don't want anything to do with me or my lifestyle ?" .
Fran was stoned and a little disappointing. Did he really think that she could turn her back on him like her own parents did ?
The education she gave to her children was very different than the one she received. She pushed them to discuss any subjects they wanted, supported their choices even when she wasn't agree with their opinion ergo she saw herself as the type of mother you could share anything with but obviously she was wrong. With a firm voice, she stated : "Listen, Derek, I'll never turn my back on you. Never. I'm not my parents."
"What do you mean ?" Morgan asked intrigued.
His parents didn't talk much about their families. He knew that his father and his siblings were raised by their grandma but nothing about his mom's family. He figured out that his maternal grand-parents were dead and that it was too painful for his mother to talk about. He never felt the need to do research about his ancestors.
"I told you that your maternal grand-parents were dead before your birth but it wasn't the entire truth. They disowned me... In 1962, a friend of mine, Jim, a member of the SNCC introduced me to Charles, your father. To be honest, it was the first time I talked to a colored man, like we said back then. My parents were very old school, they were raised to believe that people should stay with their kind... Anyway, with your father, we talked for hours and went to separate ways. Months later, we met again and started to see each other. At first as friends then our feelings evolved. We hide our relationship to everyone, it was a matter of life and death. The Klan was everywhere. We quickly realized that if we wanted to be together, staying in Nashville was impossible so we decided to elope in Chicago where your dad's siblings were living. While he was in Chicago to find us a place to live and a job, I organized my departure. I lied to my parents and told them that I found a job in Illinois. I felt terrible bad for lying to them but I was afraid of their reaction if I told them that not only I was in love with a black man but that also wanted to marry him. They weren't happy about me leaving their house without being married but they let me go. Once married, I decided that it was the time to tell the truth so I send them a letter with wedding photos and their only reply was that I was dead for them." she paused and holding her tears continued "I knew that it was stupid of me to think that they will accept my marriage. After all, I saw how your dad's brother reacted when he found out about us. According to him, your father betrayed his race. He cut out all ties with your dad and didn't show up at the wedding reception. Your dad and I, we were hurt to see hate in the people who supposed to love us but we moved on and showed the world that we deserved love. It wasn't easy but we didn't care because we had each other. Even if marrying your father cost me my parents, I never regretted my choice. What I am trying to say is that you have the right to love who ever you want and don't let anyone judge you or tell you that it's wrong. Not me. Not your sisters. Not even you."
Morgan hugged her mother and whispered "Thanks, mom. It means a lot to me."
"You're welcome." Fran replied hugging back her son and put a smiling face. This talk reawakened still painful memories but she always refused to cry in front of her children. Though, she wished to know more about this mysterious man who seemed to hold her son's heart, she decided to change the conversation "Desiree called to tell that she made reservations to our usual restaurant and Sarah is going to pick us soon so we have change."
Morgan got up and headed to his room but he stopped and said "Mom, can we keep what I said between us ? I want to tell Sarah and Desiree myself. One day."
Mark Turner was the best at his job and yet for the first time in his career, he almost canceled a job. However, he decided to finish the work he was paying to do. It wasn't more than a matter of professional pride..
His client offered him a great deal of money. The kind of money who could change his life and he was sure as hell didn't want to back his back to it.
Plus, the fact that his target was a FBI agent challenged him even more.
Despite it was been nearly two months since his first ( and last ) meeting with the agent, he didn't lose hope. He knew that Morgan will soon feel the urge to have some man-to-man action and he was going to want company.
All Mark need to do was to make sure that he would be there when it happens and for that, he had to give a little push to the Fate.
As he entered in Morgan's favorite diner, Mark knew that he was taking a risk but it was a necessary one.
Randomly run into his ex-lover could give the older man a feeling of unfinished business and the desire to fuck him again. He immediately spotted his target eating his meal. Luckily, alone. He didn't approach him right away.
It's only after he picked his ordeal and was about to leave the place that he stopped to the agent's table.
"Hey, stranger. How are you ? Long time no see." Mark smiled acting surprised.
Morgan recognized Mark and it took him few seconds to decide how to react. He never ever faced one of his past male lovers before and it caught him off guard.
He greeted hoping to get rid off him quickly. "Hi …Mark, I'm okay and are you ?"
"I'm fine, thanks. I have to go. It was good to see you." Mark said making few steps toward to the exit door but then pulling out a business card from his wallet, he turned over and placed it in front of Morgan adding "Here just in case… Who knows maybe it's Fate."
A week later, Morgan was sitting on Mark's couch. He still had many reservations about being in his place but he silenced them to see how things were going to turn out.
Though the guy was the spitting image of Reid, Morgan saw in Mark a good opportunity to get over Reid. He still felt (and probably always felt ) something for his young co-worker but for his own sake, he had to do stop thinking of him and moved on in his life. Of course, it was easier to say to actually do it but what choices did he have ?
Waiting for Reid and Cooper to break up so he could have another chance ? No, it was pathetic.
Plus, even if the couple broke up, what difference does it make ? By actions or words, he ruined every chances to be with Reid ever again.
He didn't want to spent the rest of his life alone and miserable. Not that he excepted to find happiness in Mark's arms but meeting him could be the first step. He was tired to lying to himself about who he was. He owed him to himself to explore his sexuality. Who knows ? Maybe in the process, he will accept it.
"You don't like your beer ?" Mark asked after a long silence seeing that his guest was uncomfortable and tried to warm him up.
"No, it's perfect." Morgan replied taking a sip of his his beer and tried to made conversation "I like what you done with your place."
"Obviously, Mark comes for money." he thought. Despite been an art student in Georgetown University, the young man was living in one of the most expansive DC neighborhood and the place was a bachelor's paradise: 60" TV screen, video games, a bar full of alcohol...
Mark moved closer to Morgan and while he rubbed his hand up and down the older man's thigh, he said "You didn't come here to talk about interior design, right ? By the way, you didn't tell me your name."
"It's necessary ?" Morgan replied making eyes contact. Feeling another man touching his crotch's area made the profiler uncomfortable but soon his uncomfort was replaced by arousing.
"I like to know who's cock I'm going to suck." Mark smiled flirty.
"I'm Dan." the agent lied kissing him then he touched Mark's soft lips and said "I want this lips around my dick, pretty boy."
Mark laughed and getting up from the couch, replied "Come in, my bed is more comfortable."