Asami cursed at the traffic light as it turned red before she could pass it. She slammed down the on breaks nearly causing the car behind her to crash into her. Her fingers drummed against the steering wheel sporadically, and her left foot tapped against the foot mat by the crutch. She didn't have time for this; the vice-presidents of Future Industries had requested a meeting with her since she was absent for so long due to her journey with the Avatar. The meeting was not nearly as urgent as they made it out to be and she ended up with most of the day wasted. She glared at the red bulb above the street, willing it to hurry the hell up, until it changed to green, and she was off. Her car purred loudly as she raced down crowded streets, weaving between cars and trolleys. Her hand was clamped down onto the gearstick, knuckles white, shifting the speeds occasionally to accommodate the reckless driving she displayed. She pulled into her parking space by the docks, a trip that usually took nearly half an hour, in only ten minutes' time. The sun was already beginning it's descend when she started her motor boat and steered herself towards the island where the person she cared for most resided.
Asami entered the living room of the temple and began walking down the hall to the women's quarters. The closer she got to Korra's room the more anxious she felt. What if Korra felt extra bad today and I wasn't there. Asami pushed the thought out of her head as she reached the room. She placed her palm on the door, preparing to open it, and stopped dead in her tracks. She could hear Meelo shouting giddily, and Ikki arguing with Jinora, but what made her stop was another sound: Korra's laughter.
She gently pushed the door open and poked her head through. The scene unfolding around her was not what she expected to see. Every surface in the room was covered in lemurs. The desk, the top of the closet, the windowsill, and most of the floor all had lemurs on it, crowding each other. The ones who weren't sitting were flying around the room haphazardly. She saw Meelo flying around the room on his scooter, trying to catch one, determination etched on his childish face. Ikki was standing at the foot of Korra's bed, hands tensing at her sides as she yelled at her older sister about not getting to be the one to sit closest to Korra, while Jinora tried her best to ignore her sister and instead focused on telling Korra about her upcoming ceremony.
Even with all the chaos going on, Asami's eyes drifted to the girl resting in the bed. Korra was leaning back against the headboard of the bed, holding her stomach as she laughed so hard that tears poured from her eyes. She was covered in lemurs: one on either shoulder, several in her lap, and one perched on her head. They swarmed around the bed and Meelo glided over her in time to catch one, finally. And Korra was laughing.
Asami dared not to walk in on the moment, wanting it to last for as long as it could, and so she took another look at her dear friend and quietly shut the door. She took her spot in a chair outside the room, the same chair she sat in when she talked to Korra's father, and waited.
She must have dozed off because when she opened her eyes the corridor was dark, the lanterns no longer lit, and the room next to her lacked the chattering of an army of lemurs. She realized that someone put a blanket on her as she slept, and she carefully slipped it off of herself and stood up to check on Korra. She silently slid the door open and peeked in. Korra seemed to be sleeping, the light from her window cascading her in a cool glow. Asami was about to let her be, when a broken whisper pieced the air.
"Please don't leave."
Asami could have sworn that people across the island could have heard the sound of her heart breaking. This was different, wrong. For the past eleven days she watched Korra break down nearly every night, but those sobs were raw and uncontained, those were the type of sobs that made the shoulders shake and the breathing hitch, the type that made the chest hurt. What Asami witnessed as she approached her at this moment was not a weeping, shaking girl, it was much worse. Korra lay in her bed, Asami could now tell that she was staring at her ceiling, clutching the covers to her chest. Her face wasn't red and puffy from crying, it was stoic. Her eyes were red and the bags under them were prominent not from the crying but from tiredness, yet tear-streaks glistened down her temples and into her hair.
The scariest part was that Korra looked calm. Asami was in such despair about Korra always looking anguished these past days, that she could never imagine herself wishing to see a sad Korra. But that's what she wanted to see now. She knew how to help a sad Korra, she would hold her and talk to her in hushed tones, she would distract her. She did not, however, know what to do with a calm and eerily quiet Korra who was obviously in more pain than Asami ever seen her in.
Asami stopped by Korra's bed, terrified for her. She felt tears pool at her eyes and fall to her cheeks.
"Korra. What happened?" Her voice broke halfway through the sentence.
"Can we just lay here for a little while?"
Asami sat on the edge of her bed and took Korra's hand into her own, gripping it tightly. In that moment she felt beyond helpless. "Korra, earlier today…with the kids…you seemed so-" happy. Asami realized what she almost said. Her eyes locked onto Korra's, but she didn't react to Asami's carelessness and continued staring at her ceiling. Asami's hands trembled, so she held Korra's hand tighter in an attempt to stifle the shaking. Korra must have noticed. She tore her gaze away and finally looked at Asami, her brows scrunched up in worry and she leaned up on her elbows.
"How was your day 'Sami?" she whispered, her tone full of compassion.
"My day?" Asami asked incredulously.
"Yeah. Was it ok?"
"I should have been here with you."
"That bad huh?"
"It's not my day I'm worried about. Korra, you're acting weird."
"You mean I'm not crying my guts out? Let's face it, I'll never get better so there's no point in fighting it." Korra spoke calmly and evenly, even though tears still slid from her eyes.
Asami couldn't believe what she was hearing. Korra, her Korra, giving up so quickly, it was unheard of. Her giving up at all was unheard of. "I don't want to ever hear you say that. Do you understand? Never. Say. That. Again."
"Asami I'm broken, literally. Nothing is working like it should and my legs don't work at all. I can't even get off the damn bed let alone create world peace." Her voice steadily picked up in volume and intensity, her anger suddenly slipping through. "I can't feed myself or clothe myself. Everyone is pitying me, and you can't even go to work without feeling guilty as shit. You think I don't notice? I'm not stupid Asami! I might be rash and impulsive, but I'm not stupid. Don't you see? I've been fulfilling my duty for less than two years and I nearly died three damn times! It's one psycho after another and it will never stop!"
"It will st-"
"It won't! Not in this lifetime, not in the next! The Avatars have been doing this for ten thousand years. Ravaa did it alone for spirits know how long before Wan came along. It will NEVER stop! The world says it doesn't need me?! Fuck them! I've been out of commission for less than two weeks and they're running to me already. The earth kingdom is crumbling, and they expect me to fix it, but I CAN'T. And if I could, they would find something to be unhappy about. Asami this world broke me."
"I don't care about the world Korra. I need you. You know that. Please…just don't give up."
"Asami, I wanted this so bad, but we can't do it right now. I can't handle it. …I can't handle much of anything at the moment."
"Then recover," Asami whispered so quietly that Korra almost missed it.
Korra looked at her with so much pain in her eyes. "How?"
"We'll figure it out."
They just stayed there, in the quiet and dark room, for several minutes before Asami spoke up again.
"You know, it's funny, we never acknowledged it before now."
"I know how you feel, you know how I do, we both acknowledged it, we just never talked about it."
"Why is that?" Asami asked curiously.
"I don't know. Maybe we both know there's no time for that right now."
Asami released Korra's hand and took off her shoes, before lying down next to her. She wrapped her arm around Korra's waist and rested her head against Korra's shoulder. "I'll wait for you, you know. I'll wait until you're ready."
"I know."