I don't own anything.

Nothing but Trouble

-Chapter Five

"Now, where the hell could they be?" Sakura wondered as she looked around the village.

"What time is it?" Naruto asked.

"Six."

"Happy Hour."

"They're thirteen," Sakura pointed out.

"They're ninja," Naruto countered. He stuck two fingers in his mouth and blew. The shrill whistle made Sakura jump almost as much as the baker's dozen of masked ninja who appeared around them.

"What's up?" their leader asked.

"Where the hell are her genin?" Naruto asked.

"They're at Mimi's."

"Told you," Naruto stated.

"Mimi's is a bar?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah. It's kind of shady," Naruto stated. "Actually, it's really shady. We might want to move in a rather hurried manner." Sakura nodded and followed him as he leapt up onto a nearby house and began leaping from roof to roof with a speed Sakura was hard pressed to match.

"So, who was that?"

"Village watch," Naruto stated. "They keep things from getting out of hand."

"Out of hand," Sakura repeated as they traveled over another fight, "right."

"You should see what happens on bingo night," Naruto replied.

"Bingo night?"

"It's almost like the good old days, back before this village settled down," Naruto commented, "only with bingo chips turned into almost-lethal projectiles."

"Bingo?"

"Here we are." Naruto dropped down into the street and Sakura followed, only to find herself standing in front of a rather ratty looking dive. "This is actually the shadiest bar in town."

"Figures," Sakura grumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her genin, especially Kaori, would find the most dangerous bar in a village where bar fights didn't even draw a raised eyebrow.

"Come on, time to go rescue my big scary ninja from your prepubescent genin." Naruto pushed the door open and Sakura followed him in. She spotted her genin quickly and froze, utterly shocked by what she saw. They were sitting at a table with a man in his late teens or early twenties and watching raptly as he sliced limes. It was just too fucking weird.

"Who is that?"

"That's Shogo," Naruto stated. "He's a bit of a niche killer, but he's good at what he does and his niche is pretty useful."

"Posing as a card dealer?" Sakura guessed as she watched the young man flip around several playing cards.

"How'd you guess?" Naruto asked. "What's your poison?"

"Genshu sake," Sakura stated.

"Coming right up." Sakura nodded her thanks and made her way towards where her genin were sitting.

"Having fun?" Kaori and Haruka jumped, but Satomi, of course, didn't even twitch.

"Hey Sensei!" Kaori cheered. "You've got to see what this guy can do! It's really cool."

"I don't see how he can do it," Satomi stated. She sounded rather frustrated and Sakura decided she liked this Shogo on principle alone. She glanced at the ninja they were sitting with and than down at the sliced limes on the table.

"Keep your eyes on the card," Shogo stated as he held up a playing card and flexed it between his fingers. He raised the card and brought it down on one of the lime halves. Not only did the card slice the lime, it embedded itself in the wood table top. "Well?"

"Wind style," Sakura stated. Shogo frowned.

"How'd you know?"

"My teammate's a wind affinity," Sakura replied, jerking her thumb over her shoulder at Naruto, whom she had heard approaching.

"Who do you think taught me?" Shogo asked.

(:ii:)

Naruto set down Sakura's sake and his own tall pint of stout. "Does Mimi know what you're doing to her tables?"

"Heh," Shogo managed. "Let's keep that between us, please?"

"Who else would leave these kind of gouges in solid hardwood?" Naruto asked.

"You?"

"Good point." Naruto tugged the card out of the table.

"So, that's wind style?" the non-twin member of Sakura's genin team asked.

"Yes," Naruto answered. He held the card between his hands and focused. A second later he dropped the neatly sheered card onto the table. "It's our natural affinity. I also have a lesser affinity for fire, but all that's really good for is the Paperwork No More justsu."

"How do I find out what my affinity is?" the loud-mouthed twin demanded.

"Save it for when you're a chunin," Sakura ordered. "You need to perfect the basics before you can move on to advanced jutsu."

"You aren't going to enter your team into the exams, are you?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Sakura replied. "I held them back last year, but I think they're ready this year. Why?"

"No reason," Naruto replied quickly. Would Sakura be upset if her genin got slaughtered? If so, how upset? Would she get over it? Naruto lit another cigarette and sipped his beer as he pondered that.

"You taught Shogo how to use wind element?" the quieter twin asked.

"No," Naruto answered. "He's originally from the Village Hidden in the Sand. Wind affinity is rather common there and they train their genin in relatively advanced jutsu. I just taught him more."

"You're a missing nin?" the non-twin asked.

"Uh huh," Shogo replied. "What? You were expecting something else? Claws, horns, fangs, glowing red eyes?"

"Kind of," the loud twin admitted.

"That's him," Shogo replied, jerking his thumb at Naruto. Naruto bopped him for that one and took a drag on his cigarette.

"I don't have horns," he corrected. "That's Rumiko."

"Right." Shogo sipped his beer. "Say, I've heard a rumor that we're deploying some numbers again."

"What big ears you have," Naruto replied. He glanced at Sakura out of the corner of his eye. "Yukie's thinking about sending a few genin teams to the Chunin Exams in the Village Hidden in the Leaves to scare up some more work."

"Our genin?" Shogo asked.

"Yeah."

"Is that a good idea?"

"No."

"Are we still going to do it?"

"Oh yeah."

"Should I issue a no kill order to my team?" Naruto glanced over at Sakura. They were her genin after all.

"Yes please," she stated.

"You heard the lady," Naruto replied.

"No kill order," Shogo repeated, "got it."

"Don't confuse that with a no harm order," Sakura commented. "I feel that sometimes, the only way to teach a lesson, is the hard way." She glanced at the loud twin. "Especially with that one."

"No problem," Shogo replied cheerfully. "We specialize in hard lessons in this village." Naruto sipped his beer and caught his former student glaring at him.

"Are you implying something?" he asked.

"No," Shogo replied sarcastically, holding up his right hand where there was a scar from a once extremely serious wound on his palm and the back of his hand.

"You learned your lesson, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah, but. . ."

"The hand's still attached, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but. . ."

"No harm no foul," Naruto stated. "The worst that came out of it was that you were lonely for a few nights without Mister Righty."

"Oh, cheap shot."

"I don't get it," the loud twin commented. "Was that a joke?"

"Yes," Shogo stated.

"No," Naruto corrected. He finished his beer and glanced at Sakura. "Meet me tomorrow at the Boss's building, okay?"

"Where are you going?" the pink-haired woman asked.

"I have a few things to do and people to see before I leave," Naruto answered.

"Why don't you leave that poor girl alone?" Shogo asked.

"Because she's so much fun to traumatize."

(:ii:)

"Go away!" Rumiko scowled as her boss ducked under the book she had thrown at him.

"Damn it, knock it off!"

"Can't you leave me alone for one day?" Rumiko demanded. She tried to grab another book, only to find that the tome had been pinned to the table with a senbon. "Shit."

"Gonna calm down now, or do I have to pin you down too?"

"You've got five minutes," Rumiko warned.

"Good." Naruto sat down heavily on the couch next to her and she tried not to cower. "Yukie wants to send our genin to the Chunin exams."

"We only have three teams right now," Rumiko commented. "Our first graduating class from the academy will be out in two years. Don't even think of sending them."

"I'm not," Naruto replied. Rumiko raised an eyebrow.

"Gee, is that you actually caring about the ninja you're supposed to be in charge of?" she asked, half hoping, half fearing.

"No. Yukie wants to put on a good show," Naruto replied. "Even though those brats are better than most of the genin we'll find; they still aren't our best."

"You're an evil, heartless bastard," Rumiko growled.

"And you people asked me to be your leader," Naruto sniped back. "What does that say about you?"

"We're dumber than a sack of rocks," Rumiko stated. "Well, we have one team out on a mission right now. The other two are good to go." She produced a book from under her couch and flipped through it. "The teams in village are Shogo's and Kimiko's." She flipped the book shut and considered her boss. "You knew that. Why are you here, Naruto?"

"You're coming." Rumiko stared at the man. And she had so been looking forward to some time without him.

"Why?"

"If we're there in an official capacity, the leader of this village is going to have to be there in the public eye," Naruto stated.

"And you want to continue boozing and whoring," Rumiko replied. "Can't you just wear a mask or something?"

"The village has some of the best trackers in the world," Naruto stated.

"Well, if I go, I'm not going to give up boozing or whoring either," Rumiko stated.

"You don't seem to understand, I don't give a shit about this village's public image. I just don't want to be given up as the leader before I'm ready."

"Two things," Rumiko began. "One, you're a terrible peace-time leader. We probably should have hired someone else instead of officially making you the leader after the war was over. Agree?"

"Not arguing. You want a new job?"

"No. Now, two: why are you hiding who you are?"

"I have my reasons," Naruto replied. "I'll probably be leaving with Sakura tomorrow. I want everybody else to get ready to leave within the week."

"Got it," Rumiko replied. "Anything else?"

"Nope. You?"

"Take Takumi with you."

"Tak?" Naruto asked. "You know, deep down, he's a sweet kid."

"I don't care if he's so sweet he pisses maple syrup, I don't want him anywhere near me without you to control him." Naruto stared at the woman.

"Piss maple syrup?"

"Can we stick to the topic at hand?" Rumiko demanded.

"I don't know, can we?" The woman glared at him. "Hey, I'm not the one who brought up pissing syrup."

"Why do I put up with you?"

"I can ask the same thing," Naruto replied.

"That's easy, without me, you wouldn't get a damn thing done," Rumiko replied. "Not that you actually care about getting anything important done."

"I always get the important things done!" Naruto countered.

"Boozing and whoring aren't the important things." Naruto raised an eyebrow and Rumiko growled. "Well, not the only important things. The world runs on paperwork."

"Not by choice."

(:ii:)

Sakura glanced at the number on the door of the building in front of her and then down at the number on the paper in her hand. The numbers matched, but Sakura still couldn't believe it. The building was definitely the nicest building in the whole village. It was also the address she had been given for Naruto's apartment. "This is nicer than my place."

Sakura got a bit of a start and jumped. Even with her small lead up, she was hard pressed to make it to the top of the four story building in one jump. Of course, when she landed, she almost jumped back off as a senbon flew by her face. "Naruto!"

"Sorry." Sakura took a deep breath and tried to calm her heart. She had been warned about that, but hadn't believed it. "You shouldn't sneak up on me."

"I've been told," Sakura commented. Naruto sprawled back out on the roof of the building and lit a cigarette.

"Who told you where I lived?"

"I am a ninja, you know?" Sakura asked.

"Who?"

"Shogo," Sakura admitted. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Have a seat." Sakura sat down and took the bottle her blond teammate offered her. A quick sip later and she was hacking. "Good stuff, huh?"

"What the hell is that?" Sakura wheezed.

"Vodka," Naruto stated. "Land of Snow specialty. It's got a little more kick than sake, eh?"

"Yeah." Sakura took another sip and handed the bottle back. Naruto sipped it too and set it down. "You come up here a lot?"

"Yep. It's a nice place to drink and listen to the place going to hell down below." Sakura took the bottle back and listened as another fight broke out below.

"What is with all the fights?" she asked finally before taking a long slug on the bottle. "Wooh. I've got to get a bottle of this stuff for Tsunade."

"We can grab it tomorrow," Naruto replied. "As for the fighting, well, that's just what this village is."

"So, they just like to fight?" Sakura asked.

"Look down there," Naruto ordered. "Three fourths of those people aren't from this village, why do you think they're here?"

"Bounty hunting?" Sakura guessed. The blond laughed loudly at that.

"No, nobody is stupid enough to do that here," he explained. "Those ninja are here to fight. This is a city of vice and sin and fun. Ninja come from all over the world to fight and gamble and do all the things that make being a ninja worth while."

"Even murder?" Sakura ventured.

"Meh." Naruto took the bottle back and sipped it. "Law states no murder and nobody smart breaks the law. All the stupid ones get executed too quick to cause any more problems."

"Hey, Naruto?"

"Yeah?" Sakura took the bottle back and took a good pull on it.

"Why did you leave?" Naruto was silent for a while as he stared at the sky overhead and puffed his cigarette.

"Do you remember our last mission?" he asked finally. Sakura considered that as she took the bottle. Their last mission had been an A-rank that took them to the Land of Waves to meet with an informant who had information on Sasuke. It had ended rather poorly when some no-name group of bandits had attempted to attack them. Naruto hadn't taken kindly to that.

"I remember," Sakura admitted. "You killed them all."

"Yeah." Naruto took the bottle back.

"It was the Fox, wasn't it?" Sakura asked.

"Partially," Naruto answered. "Mostly, it was just me. Every time we seemed to get a lead on Sasuke, something always came up. Those idiots popped up and I just hated them so much. The Fox told me to kill them and, for the first time, I couldn't argue with him."

"So, you came here to learn to control the Fox?" Sakura asked. Naruto laughed at that.

"That was what I told Granny, but it's a lie. I didn't actually plan on coming here. I just needed to leave the village and ended up here anyway."

"Why?" Sakura asked. The question had tortured her for years.

"To protect you," Naruto admitted.

"From what?"

"You want the hero version or the truth?"

"The truth of course."

"Of course," Naruto murmured. "I needed to protect you from me." Sakura had to laugh.

"I thought I said I wanted the truth and not the hero version," she stated. "Did you think I was going to be killed for being on a team with you?"

"No, I thought I was going to kill you myself," Naruto stated simply. "I hurt you once when the Fox took over. . ."

"That wasn't your fault," Sakura interrupted quickly. "It was the Fox."

"I know," Naruto stated. "When the Fox took over before, I couldn't really remember what happened too well. On that last mission, I knew exactly what I was doing and I wanted to kill everyone."

"Including me?" Sakura asked.

"Including you," Naruto confirmed. "The scariest part was, I wasn't blinded by the rage. I knew who you were and it didn't matter."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Sakura sat up a little and finished off the bottle.

-End

(:ii:)

-Author's notes. I'll be gone mid to late June.