I don't own anything.
Nothing but Trouble
-Chapter Seven:
Sakura watched her teammate as he stared out the window of the train. The entire group had descended into silence. That was never good. It usually meant. . ."Cool boots."
"Uh. . .thanks," Naruto replied, glancing down at his boots. "I used to wear sandals on missions, but I had a few incidents while playing with explosives."
"You lost twelve toes in eight separate explosions," a man in the seat behind Sakura and Naruto stated as he leaned over the back. Naruto promptly stabbed a senbon into the man's arm and pinned the appendage to the seat without sparing the man a glance. "Ah, fuck! You bastard!" Sakura was only momentarily shocked by the unprovoked brutality, before her medic training kicked in. She had seen worse done by best friends in the course of training and the bloodshed really was very minor.
"You should know better, Yasu," Naruto commented. "It's always a bad idea to surprise me."
"I said 'hello' when you got on the damn train!" the man gritted. "I can't believe you stabbed me. . .again!"
"Its s senbon needle," Naruto stated offhandedly. "You don't stab someone with a senbon. You poke them."
"Well, stop poking me!" Yasu snapped as he ripped the needle out.
"Now, children," Sakura cut in as she formed a few hand seals and healed the man's arm, "don't make me turn this train around."
"I like you," the man stated.
"He started it," Naruto deadpanned. "I should also mention that you caused two of those accidents. A lesser man might even think you were trying to assassinate him."
"I'm not stupid enough to try that," Yasu replied. "Besides, if I was going to assassinate you there wouldn't be anything left of you. . .or anything within a two mile radius."
"This is Yasu," Naruto added for Sakura and her genins' benefit. "He's one of the best assassins in the world, as long as you don't mind a lot of collateral damage."
"Bombs are imprecise," Yasu stated cheerfully. "Besides, the man who wipes out entire armies, isn't allowed to criticize anyone for collateral damage." Sakura glanced at Naruto to see if he was smiling, but he wasn't.
"That's not collateral," the blond stated calmly. "That is intended targets being destroyed."
"You destroyed an entire army?" Satomi asked. Sakura couldn't remember the last time she had seen he girl so shocked, or shocked at all for that matter.
"Not an entire army," Naruto protested. "Besides, they started it by invading. I just un-invaded them." Naruto finally grinned, thought it wasn't the smile Sakura was hoping for. It was too wide with too many shiny points. "You're never in the wrong when you fight for the underdogs. Hell, I'm a hero for protecting the poor, little Land of Spring from the big, bad Land of Earth."
"Hero by coincidence."
"Most heroes are by coincidence," Naruto stated, "especially war heroes. Any other situation, they'd be called murders and monsters. After all, when was the last time you heard about a civilian being congratulated for single-handedly killing a dozen people?"
"Murderers and monsters," Yasu mused. "Like you?"
"Exactly," Naruto replied, still grinning.
"You're a freak," Yasu stated. Naruto stabbed him again. "Fuck!"
"I'm a monster," the blond corrected, as he wiggled the needle from side to side. "Besides, who had the second highest body count after me?"
"I never said I was an angel," Yasu gritted as he ripped out the second senbon needle.
"So, you're a missing nin too?" Satomi asked.
"No," Yasu stated. "I was a ninja of the Village Hidden in the Snow. There are only three of us left; me, my sister, and Rumiko. The rest died in the war before Naruto showed up. All the other ninja, except for the genin, were missing nin."
"So, the nice, quiet ninja are missing nin and the violent maniacs are not?" Satomi asked.
"No, the nice quiet ninja are the exception," Yasu corrected. "The violent maniacs are the rule."
"More fun that way," Naruto added. He studied the three genin. "Oh, and don't let Shogo fool you, he's no angel either."
"Wait, we're talking about Shogo?" Yasu asked. "Are you fucking insane? That guys a psycho killer!"
"He plays well with children," Naruto replied with a shrug. "Why else would he be a sensei?"
"Well, considering you stuck him with all the real pains in the ass, I kind of thought you were just being sadistic."
"That would be the smart guess, wouldn't it?"
"And why would you be setting up genin teams?" Sakura asked. Naruto's eye began to tick again.
"Smoke?" Yasu asked.
"Yes please."
"You are horrible at dodging questions," Sakura commented as Naruto and his friend lit their cigarettes.
"I'm not dodging your questions, I'm ignoring them," the blond corrected.
(:ii:)
"You know, that pink-haired chick is kind of nosy," Yasu commented as he watched the female jonin yell at her genins in an attempt to break up the two twins.
"She's a ninja," Naruto stated. They had managed to sneak to the back of the train while the twins were causing a commotion.
"Normally, that's not too bad, but you really are lousy at keeping secrets," Yasu pointed out.
"Shut the fuck up," Naruto ordered. "Oh, and you can forget your mission."
"Huh?"
"The only reason I was sending you was that I didn't think I would be able to get to the Village Hidden in Leaves," Naruto explained.
"Ah, I was kind of looking forward to killing that fluff ball."
"Too bad, he's mine. Head back to the village. Rumiko's probably going to need your help."
"Whatever you say." Up front, the screaming was getting rather out of hand. "Who had the bright idea of making an all chick team, especially one with sisters on it? That just seems like a really bad thing to do."
"Yup." Yasu stared at Naruto thoughtfully.
"I take it we're going to have an all girl team in a few years."
"With sisters if I can swing it," Naruto replied with a grin as he took a drag on his cigarette.
"You and your damn trouble making."
"What? It's fun," Naruto protested. Yasu just shook his head.
"Momma always said to stay away from foxes. They're nothing but trouble, she said." The train began to slow and Naruto climbed to his feet. He walked to the front of the train, brushed past Sakura and jerked the twins apart by their collars.
"Shut up or I'm throwing you both off the train." They both fell silent.
"Wow, I'll have to remember that," Sakura commented. "Where are we?"
"We can't stop here, this is Bat Country!" Yasu called.
"This is not Bat Country!" Naruto snapped. "We passed through that an hour ago. Do you really think I'd let us stop there?"
"I've never heard of Bat Country," not-a-twin commented.
"Right over their heads," Yasu commented sadly. "And, we're in the Land of Earth."
"Why are we stopping here?" Sakura asked.
"People to see, things to discuss," Naruto answered. "Besides, the rail ends in twenty miles."
"I'd rather ride those twenty miles," loud twin commented.
"Think of it as a chance to show your genins a new culture," Naruto added.
"I think we're cultured enough," quiet twin replied. "We really don't need the extra mileage."
"Welcome to the Village Hidden in the Rocks. Get out of my way fucker." The large man who had been in Naruto's way spun sharply to face the blond, his fists already rising to fight. He caught sight of Naruto and the insignia on his coat and threw himself out of the way. "And that is why very bad reputations are very good."
"Naruto, I'm going tie you down and make you answer some questions," Sakura warned.
"Sounds kinky," Naruto replied. "I'll be there."
(:ii:)
Rumiko leaned back in Naruto's chair and sighed. It really was a very comfortable chair. She glanced down at the cards in her hand and grinned before slapping them down. "Strait flush. Ditch the bindings."
"No way," Yui groaned as she examined Rumiko's hand. "You are way too lucky."
"That I am," Rumiko purred as the other women began to unwind the strip of cloth binding her breasts. "That I am." The window behind Rumiko suddenly shattered and a small black disk landed on Rumiko's desk. She picked it up and examined it. "A bingo chip?" She spun and ripped the window open. "Its bingo night, isn't it?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Because that is a big street fight, even for this village," Rumiko stated. She turned back and nearly howled in anguish as she saw Yui redressing.
"I'll go call the repair man."
"You don't have to do it right now," Rumiko mewled, trying not to sound too pathetic.
"Best get it done now," Yui replied as she walked to the door. "Thanks for teaching me how to play poker, Rumiko. It was fun, we should do it again some time." Rumiko watched as the door closed behind her.
"Get your curvy ass back here," Rumiko growled. She turned back to the open window. "Get in here fuckers." One of the eight man village watch squads appeared in Rumiko's office. "Who's in charge?"
"I am. . .erk!"
"You just made me loose the chance for some fine tail," Rumiko hissed as she gave the man's package another none to gentle squeeze. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you."
"Think of my children!" the man squealed.
"You don't have any children," Rumiko snapped, already having recognized the masked man by his voice.
"Not with the way you're squeezing I won't!" Rumiko let the man go and he sank to his knees cradling his abused package.
"Alright, idiots. Listen up! I know Naruto is gone, but this is not the time to start slacking off!" Rumiko roared. "Those things out there are not people, they are animals and you're supposed to keep them in line."
"We were just. . ."
"I don't care!" Rumiko interrupted. "Do you understand how fragile the control in this village is without Naruto? Those bastards are two steps from going on a killing spree! Now get out there!" The ninjas disappeared and Rumiko collapsed back in her chair. "God damn it, it hasn't even been a full day." The door popped open and Yui poked her head in.
"Trouble?"
"The fucking village watch decided to slack off. . .on bingo night!" Yui winced.
"That's not good."
"Nope." Rumiko opened a desk drawer at random and pulled out the bottle she found inside.
"You look tense, how about a backrub?" Rumiko perked up immediately.
"That might help."
(:ii:)
"So, what are we doing here?" Sakura asked. Naruto just grinned. She had sent her genin off to look around, probably so she could tail him more closely.
"It's like I said," he explained, "there are people to see and things to discuss."
"Who to see and what to discuss?" Sakura asked.
"People to see!" Naruto exclaimed. "I already said that." Sakura's eyebrow twitched and Naruto subtly put some extra distance between her and him as he led the way. The pink haired woman took a few breaths.
"What's really going on Naruto?"
"Really going on where?" Naruto asked.
"In the village," Sakura growled. "Rumiko is the Yukikage, but you do the paperwork?"
"Pretty much," Naruto stated cheerfully. "You know I always wanted to be a kage, Rumiko lets me act like one."
"You're lying."
"You can't prove that," Naruto replied.
"Damn it Naruto, we're a team! Why won't you tell me the truth?"
"Why would I tell the truth?" Naruto countered.
"Because we're a team!" Sakura repeated.
"No we aren't," the blond stated cheerfully. "We haven't been a team in a long time, Sakura." He glanced to the side and frowned as he noticed that Sakura had stopped walking and was staring at him. Had that been a bit much? "Come on, I was just kidding."
"You would have never joked about that before," Sakura stated.
"Before what?" Naruto pressed.
"Before you left too." Naruto considered that. This sounded like she was bringing up old hurts that she had buried long ago. It was probably time to stop teasing and start trying to calm her down.
"I'm back now."
"Not by choice." Naruto frowned. She had him there. The blond took a deep breath.
"When we get back to the Village Hidden in the Leaves, I'll explain everything."
"Promise."
"I promise."
-End
(:ii:)
-Author's notes. Guess who has two thumbs and is back from California. That's right, this guy!
Okay, first things first. This one is definitely not my best chapter. I had to rush through it a bit in order to post it. I figured you guys would just be happy to have something to read.
Second things second. California was fun. The first week was mostly work. The second week was mostly binge drinking. And I don't mean that college kid 'I just drank a case of light beer' binge drinking. I mean the 'wake up the next morning and wonder what country you're in' binge drinking. It was so bad we hit the half way point, looked at each other and went 'this is ridiculous.' Then we went 'what the hell else is there to do?' So, I'm back, probably minus a few years from the end of my life. Well, if I die of old age that is.
I'll tell more stories next week. And Happy Fourth of July. Don't nobody blow off any fingers. Lawmakers'll use it to try to ban firecrackers even more.