This story is for my cat who had to be put to sleep last year.

Tell me what you think!

Sorry again for how long this has taken! I hate writers block.

Bella POV

I cried into my hands as my boss walked away.

Fired? Again?

I must have done someone wrong in a past life, because my life has been bad since I was seventeen.

It got better at some bits, like the birth of my treasure - my daughter, Nessie. But, since the loss of Paul only a few years ago, my life has been worse. Now, I'm a twenty nine year old, single mother, without a job.

I remember... I remember when I was younger, my future was so clear. I was to marry my love, Paul. Work and live with my wolf and look after kids if they came. I'd decided when I was only twelve that I was a stay at home mum. I'd known, even at that age, that I would have a long, strong and steady relationship before I had a child.

I took precautions, I denied Paul unprotected sex until we were above twenty. I made sure Paul was trustworthy. I made sure he didn't hide things from me, and that he couldn't. I made sure he knew what I wanted and needed, and that he was a good man.

Now look at me. I've broken all my promises, I might as well curl up and die. No one cares about me anyone - unless you count the pack. But that's only out of a promise. I'm best friends with Alpha Jacob. I ran with his pack before I met Paul. Then, it was Sam's pack who looked after me. After he betrayed me with HER, she was kicked from Jacob's pack and I was welcomed. It was amazing how compassionate my old friends were. I'd abandoned them, in a blink of an eye, and they'd accepted me back in less time.

I don't deserve friends like them.

Then there's Nessie. She's such a beautiful girl. She has a skin tone perfectly between Paul's and my own. It doesn't serve as a reminder. Her eyes are my colour - chocolate brown - not 'muddy' brown, as I once described Paul's. She has beautiful hair that is just darker than mine, and it falls in soft curls like my father's. I don't deserve her. She's too beautiful.

Sometimes, I think about giving her to Jake and Wolfie, for her to be brought up by them. She wouldn't come from a broken home, she'd have a loving family. I'd planned it all out once. I would drop her off, then drive and just keep going. Stop to fill up gas whenever I could, then get going again. I hadn't planned what I'd then do, because I didn't know where I'd end up. But I knew I would find a good job somewhere and live there. I'd send emails to Jake and request pictures of Nessie.

But I could never do it...

Then there's my parents... Charlie didn't approve of Paul. He wanted me to marry Jake, and didn't see why not. He actually said 'They have the same skin, same hair, same eyes, same accent, what's the difference?' It was then that I packed up and left. I moved in with Paul, and haven't talked to my father since. It was after I married Paul that I lost contact with my mother.

Phil had dumped her after she got drunk and had sex with another man. It wasn't just one time, which was what pissed him off most and threw off their engagement. They were meant to marry the next spring...

When she heard I'd married without telling her (it was a quiet wedding, just me, Paul, Jacob, Sam, Billy and Angela, my school friend). She flew to Forks and demanded I go back to Phoenix with her. She said that it was where I belonged. I got angry at her for trying to rule my life, and kicked her out my life for good.

I don't regret kicking my parents from my life, but I wish I was able to tell Nessie who her grandfather was and take her to his house. She only has Billy and Jacob as father and grandfather figures. I know Paul is always fucking HER whenever he looks after Nessie. Or doing something similar. I know because she always tells me how much they stink sometimes. I hate those two for that, and the court saying he has to see her so many days a week. Anyway, because of that I don't see him as a great father figure. As a friend, I'm disappointed in him. He has three children and he still acts like he's eighteen. If he hadn't left me for HER, I'd feel sorry for her. I would feel sorry for the twins too, if they weren't bastards born of HER.

Do I make it to obvious that I hate HER?

I sighed and picked my head up. I know my boss didn't want to fire me, but business has been bad and his had to let go of a lot of staff.

I go out to my car and just about to shut the door when I see Seth coming out of nowhere. I smiled as I got back out.

"What's up Seth?"

"Sammy phased."

My smile faded.