Chapter Four: A Head for a Heart

From the bench on which she sat, Lexa watched as a Sky person handed over a wooden bowl of broth to one of Lexa's own people with a smile. The Sky people had been relying on Polis' soup kitchen for their meals. As a means to say thank you, Abby had insisted that the best cooks among the Sky people would help out. Lexa did not smile at the exchange, she kept her expression neutral. But she couldn't help but feel a pang of happiness at what she saw. Even in a week, the Sky people had lived up to their Chancellor's request and made every effort to fit into Polis life.

Lexa wasn't entirely sure how much of that was through them wanting to learn more about her people. She suspected that it honestly had more to with with the Sky people starting to recognise how far they had to go to settle on the ground. They were realising just how much help they would need to get there. If they offended the residents of Polis in any way during their stay, that much needed help would not be at all forthcoming. Even Lexa, who truly wanted to see the newest clan safe, would not force her people into giving aid to those who did not respect them. Lexa imagined Abby reminding all her people to 'be polite' every morning, like a parent sending a child to their lessons for the day. Lexa suppressed a snigger at the idea.

"Sonop!" came a voice. It was Bellamy, carrying his own bowl of soup. He sat on the bench across from Lexa. Lexa allowed her mask to slip long enough to give the man a smile,

"Good. You are picking Trigedasleng up quick, Bellamy."

"It's not that hard, once you are surrounded by it. Not as far away from English as you'd think. Cool how it seems to have developed though. A lot of military slang."

Lexa cocked her head, "You have an interest in such things?"

Bellamy put his hands up, "You got me. Total history nerd. Why, does that surprise you?"

Lexa gave a shrug, "Warriors need something to do when they are not at war."

"So what about you, Commander? What are your hobbies? I'm guessing it's not drinking."

"You are never going to let me forget that night, are you?" Lexa whispered. She found it rather easy to talk to Bellamy. But that didn't mean she wanted the whole of Polis's market seeing her being so open. And she certainly didn't need rumours about that particular night at Camp Jaha spreading around the city. News, or what passed for news, traveled fast on the streets of Polis.

"Raven would kill me if I let you forget."

"Where is Raven?" Lexa asked. Whilst the question was meant to distract Bellamy from his inquiry, it was asked out of genuine curiosity. Lexa had also found that she had grown somewhat fond of Raven, even hoped that one day in the future she might be able to consider her a friend. Lexa was severely lacking in those, a fact that bothered her more than she would ever let on.

"Sleeping in. Clarke?"

Lexa raised her eyebrows, "Same." Then, feeling comfortable enough in Bellamy's presence to pry a little; "Are you and Raven?"

"What? No!" Bellamy replied quite loudly. Lexa shot him a warning look. "No." He repeated, quieter this time.

"I'm sorry. Just the way you spoke. I should not have pried."

Bellamy seemed to consider for a moment and then he leaned in across the table. "But, say, hypothetically, if I was maybe interested in-"

Lexa almost let out a guffaw as she raised her hand, "Bellamy. I left Clarke at the foot of Mt. Weather. Most probably to be killed. Are you sure you want to continue?"

Bellamy leaned back again and nodded, "Yeah, probably not the best person to ask." Bellamy fell silent after that and ate his broth. "Catch you later, Commander,"

"Bellamy."

With that he left Lexa alone one the bench again. Lexa found that her mood had lifted considerably during the conversation. She wondered if that had been a deliberate move on Bellamy's part. She'd even found it in herself to make light of Mt. Weather, something she'd never thought she'd be able to do. But then, once she had thought it would be too difficult to speak openly about Costia ever again. Only she had told Clarke about her no more than a day after meeting her. Lexa wondered what it was about the Sky people that had such an effect on her.

As she pondered, Lexa picked up her spoon and agitated the surface of her own long forgotten broth. She watched absentmindedly as the chunks of root vegetables floated in the stock. She felt her mood dip again. It had been a week of seeing the Sky people fit surprisingly well into Polis. Of Lexa getting to know Clarke's friends a little better. But it had also been a week without any word on the Ice Nation. The city was prepared to defend itself. Platoons of warriors from each tribe had been arriving throughout the week. One blast of the sentry horn announced every new arrival. The gates of Polis had never been so well defended. If the Ice Nation army did come, it would find itself outnumbered. Even if the Queen had taken the time to get reinforcements. But it was the not knowing if the city faced a battle or if she herself was waiting on a duel that agitated Lexa. It meant having to strategise for two entirely different possibilities. Both with vastly different outcomes and implications for the future. A challenge even for Lexa's tactically focused mind.

More than that, the possibility that the Queen might take option three and come to duel Lexa was quite the prospect. Lexa had to admit that the idea of finally getting to face the Queen in battle was something she had spent many nights thinking about. Not recently, but before, in the first months after Costia was lost. She couldn't even remember why that particular war had started. Border disputes perhaps. The Ice Queen had always pushed, been eager to conquer land for herself rather than ask for trade. As her subjects, her warriors had little choice but to obey. But Lexa was banking on those people. She hoped that when given an ultimatum between warmongering and peace, they would choose the latter. That her terms would give the Ice Queen's subjects their own push, the one they needed to tip the balance of power in their favour. A Queen was useless if the majority of her subjects were no longer willing to show loyalty.

Lexa could recollect riding into battle in the days after Costia's head was sent back to her. She and Anya had brought hell upon the Azgeda warriors, side by side. It was the battle that ended the war. But it had not set Lexa at ease. In fact it wasn't until she finally met the Ice Queen in person that Lexa felt any sort of victory. She had not gone with words of war, but of peace. She had gone to offer the Azgeda a place in the coalition. Lexa had been smart, had timed the visit after a particularly harsh and snowy winter. She'd arrived with words of trading food and medicine. Of working together to strengthen each clan by uniting them under one banner. It was an offer that the Queen could not refuse. Doing so would have incited rebellion back then. Now Lexa was threatening to take away the lifeline the Coalition offered. She was threatening to re-spark that threat of uprising.

It was bludgeoning the Ice Queen into cooperation with mere words that Lexa had felt a thrill at. She'd felt it again last night after finding herself able to manipulate the hostage into working for her advantage. So after a few months, when the white hot anger had subsided, Lexa had put thoughts of taking the Queen's own head in battle aside. She matured and began to understand that killing did not help you feel better. A lesson she believed in enough now to have passed onto the woman she loved. The prospect of dueling the Ice Queen was quite something. Not because Lexa was ready for her revenge, but because she feared the emptiness she knew she would feel if she won. What sort of vengeance for her first love would that be? To feel nothing after taking the life of the woman who had snatched that love away.

"Heda?" Aldrin's voice whispered in her ear. She had not seen or heard him approach her. Although she kept herself from jumping, Lexa chastised herself for getting distracted in public.

"What is it?" she answered in Trigedasleng. Her voice came out harsher than she intended but she would not apologise or correct herself. Not even to Aldrin.

"Did you not hear the sentry horn? Two blasts. Word from the gates has arrived. The Ice Queen has come with a small entourage. She has agreed to the duel."

Lexa sucked in her breath. Fate would have it that the Queen would arrive now, after Lexa had wasted the morning sitting here mulling over the very prospect. Lexa took the briefest moment to collect herself and stood up from the bench. She regarded Aldrin,

"Good. She is to stay outside the gate until evening. At sun down, she and no more than three people will be brought here. We duel in the sparring circle."

Aldrin nodded, "I will have word sent to the gate immediately, Commander."

Lexa motioned that he was excused and Aldrin rushed off to get her instructions delivered. Lexa's gaze shifted in the direction of the sparring circle. It was like the meeting place, but smaller; a patch of clear land in the centre of the city. Usually it was used for public sparring matches. And the execution of criminals. Lexa tensed her jaw. She needed to prepare herself for what was for come. First she needed to return home and tell Clarke the news. She returned to the market stable where her horse was tied. She mounted up, and rode back to the Commander's village as quickly as the crowded streets would allow.

Evening came too soon. Soon the sun would dip below the horizon and it would be time to fight. Lexa let out a sigh and leaned her hands on the war table. She had found her own bedroom too clammy, too cosy to get into the mindset of battle. Clarke had stayed beside her and was currently reclining in one of the seats placed around the table. It was in fact Lexa's own throne that she'd sat in, her legs thrown over one of the arms.

"Babe, you're going to pop your jaw if you tense it anymore," Clarke spoke into the silence.

Lexa almost growled at Clarke's mirth but instead she took note of the words and tried to relax her face. She took to chewing her bottom lip instead. Clarke watched her from the throne,

"Seriously, are you trying to ruin my night?"

Lexa rolled her eyes as she picked up on what Clarke was alluding to. "I have to win the duel before we can celebrate a victory, Clarke."

Clarke gave her a smirk, "I know. But weren't you telling me I needed to start thinking ahead?"

Now Lexa did let out a growl, but the sound was more comical than threatening. Of all the lessons she had decided to pass onto Clarke, this was perhaps the one she was beginning to regret. She'd already paid for her lecture last night. When they'd arrived back home last night, Lexa had found herself being nothing short of ambushed. It was certainly something Clarke had been planning on the walk home, so ruthless and efficient it was in its execution. They hadn't made it upstairs. Lexa pushed the distracting memories away.

Clarke must have picked up on Lexa's shift in mood and her face fell too,

"You're going to win this."

"Fate willing," was all Lexa managed back. She began to massage the palm of her right hand with her left. The burns had just about healed over the week and she no longer needed a bandage. But the skin still felt tight and Lexa knew it would be uncomfortable to grip her sword for an extended amount of time. She'd spent the day focusing on practicing close-quarters combat. Aldrin, always her first choice for a sparring partner, had barely been anything but a practice dummy. He'd dutifully been disarmed and thrown to the ground again and again. Lexa had run the risk of exhausting herself before even getting to the actual duel.

"Come on. You've told me you are the superior fighter," Clarke tried to encourage Lexa.

Lexa gave a shrug, "Not always a deciding factor. I fight with a sword. The Queen with a spear. That is quite an advantage in terms of reach."

Now Clarke moved off of the throne and came to stand beside Lexa. It reminded Lexa of a similar night spent in her tent, before the attack on the mountain. That time it had been Clarke who was over-thinking, wasting energy on worry. The memory finally gave Lexa pause and she managed to steel herself, will herself into a state of composure,

"I'm over-thinking," Lexa stated, before Clarke could point the fact out,

"It's something I used to do, when I first took command of my people," Clarke quoted Lexa's own words back to her. Clarke had no doubt thought of the same memory, "But then a very wise leader told me to stop and rest."

Lexa smiled and let out a long soothing breath. She turned towards the door when it opened to reveal Aldrin,

"Commander? It is time."

The procession back into the centre of Polis was somber. Lexa, Clarke and Aldrin all remained silent upon their horses as they passed out of the Commander's village and into the city. Spectators lined the streets, come to watch their Commander duel her nemesis. That's likely what they would have told one another when word spread. Her people would see it as justice if Lexa emerged the victor, even if she would not. Lexa took some motivation from that.

The tone was leagues away from that of the celebration a year ago. The crowd watched the horse go by, as silent as the riders. The steady clop of hooves on the ground was the only sound, it was eerie in a city so densely populated as Polis. And even that sound silenced once the horses reached the market stable. Lexa dismounted and handed the reins over to the stablemaster. She took a moment to collect herself, studied her breathing, began to prepare her body for the exertion that was to come.

Once Clarke and Aldrin had dismounted too, they all moved to towards the sparring circle. The crowd that had gathered there parting to let them through. Lexa noted that Abby and a few of the other Sky people had managed to secure front row spaces. Of course the Chancellor would want to see the duel for herself, since the safety of all her people likely rested on the outcome. Abby met Lexa's eyes and Lexa gave her a nod of respect. Then Lexa watched as Clarke moved to stand next to her mother.

Lexa and Aldrin continued walking and came to stand in the centre of the circle. She did not have to wait long before the crowd she was facing began to part and then, there was the Ice Queen with her three attendants. The attendants all kept their hoods up and two remained at the edge of the clearing. One, presumably her own bodyguard, walked with the Queen to the centre until she was feet away from where Lexa stood.

Both leaders measured each other up as their bodyguards attended to their duties. Aldrin removed Lexa's trench coat. Underneath she wore a long sleeved top to ward off the nighttime chill. When The Ice Queen's bodyguard mirrored Aldrin's actions, the Ice Queen wore only a vest underneath her coat. Neither woman showed any emotion as they continued sizing each other up. Next, Aldrin came and put Lexa's shoulder pauldrons on her. Not the ceremonial one, but one much lighter and designed for dueling. Then he handed her her sword, again it was a more functional than her ceremonial katana. She took the weapon and pointed the blade to the ground, a sign that she had no intention of attacking until it was time.

The Ice Queen was readied in her own armour and handed her dueling spear. She also pointed the sharp end down at the ground. They were both battle ready. Lexa waited until Aldrin and The Queen's bodyguard had stepped out of the sparring circle. Nobody would be allowed to cross its threshold now until the duel was over.

"To the death." Lexa's voice was curt. It was customary for the competitors to exchange a brief word before beginning to fight. The Queen sneered at her,

"What? No dedication to lost love, no speech about justice?"

Lexa said nothing back, instead she lifted her sword away from the ground and readied her stance. The moment the Ice Queen had done the same with her spear, Lexa moved. She darted forward before immediately retreating. The Queen's thrust met empty air. Lexa began to circle, always staying just out of reach of a lunge. It did not give her much room. The Queen came forward, jerking her spear towards her. Lexa brought her sword up to block and then used her strength to push the weapon away to her left. She dived forward to the right then, rolling and coming up behind the Queen. Lexa slashed forward with her sword, but the Queen wheeled about and blocked the attack in plenty of time. Lexa would have to wear the Queen down more.

The duel became a dance, with Lexa always skirting outside of the Queen's reach. Over and over, she forced the Queen to move towards her before attacking. Each time, she would bat the spear away or dart out of it's way. Lexa was a blur as she moved and she could feel her heartbeat quickening. She kept her breathing as even as she could, feeding oxygen to her muscles as she moved quicker and quicker. She was forcing the Ice Queen to do the same if she was to have any chance of hurting Lexa.

The Queen's face remained blank but gradually, Lexa began to sense her opponents frustration. The Queen's lunges became even more forceful, vicious even. Lexa's movements had to remain completely fluid. One dodge immediately melted into the next as the tip of the Ice Queen's spear jabbed towards her. At one point, the Queen aimed the spear low, going to trip Lexa. Lexa jumped the weapon like a child would jump a rope and then found her footing so that she could face the next attack. It came fast, a swing this time rather than a jab, with the aim of wrapping the spear about Lexa's face. Lexa brought her sword up to halt the spears progress, the weapons clacking as they met. It was the best opportunity Lexa had been given so far for a decent counter.

She twirled to her left, moving parallel to the spear, closer to the Queen. Lexa ducked as the Queen, released from the block, continued to swing her spear. She was trying to catch up with Lexa's progress and hit her in the back. The spear glanced over Lexa's head though and the moment it did Lexa halted and slashed. Her sword made brief contact with the Queen's thigh before the Queen moved out of reach. Lexa pulled out of the lunge to avoid over-stretching herself.

The Queen gave no sign to the severity of the injury. She turned herself to face Lexa again with a blank stare. Lexa hoped that it was masking fury. Fury that could be turned into frustration. The dance began again after the brief respite, like restarting the first sequence of steps. The Queen lunged and Lexa moved. But the Queen had learned and did not try the same swinging technique on Lexa again. The dance became relentless, Lexa fighting for space to move in the circle as each spear thrust came perilously close.

Eventually Lexa found enough clearance to prepare a block. She watched the spear jerk towards her, counted and then at the very last moment, brought her sword up in a powerful strike. The wood of the spear bounced off the momentum of her strike. In that brief moment where the Queen had no control over her weapon, Lexa moved in.

She rushed forward and grabbed at the spear with her left hand, securing it in her grip. Of course, the Queen's first instinct was to try and tug the spear away again, but this was what Lexa wanted. She held fast and let the Queen's tug drag her forward too. Her longsword was pretty much useless in only one hand, too heavy for a decent strike. She kept it loose in her right hand and instead butted her head forward against the Queen's nose. She felt, rather than heard the crack of cartilage. The Queen could not hold back her yelp this time and Lexa saw this as her opportunity to strike again. She pulled hard and wrestled the spear from the Queen's grip whilst the Queen was distracted by the pain. She threw the weapon behind her and then took a two handed grip on her longsword. She lunged and felt as the blade passed through fur and cloth and into flesh. The moment she felt the Queen's weight shift, Lexa slid the blade out and watched as the Queen fell to her knees.

"Yu gonplei ste odon," Lexa said mechanically. Then she sliced the Ice Queen's head off.

A roar went up from the crowd. Lexa let her sword go limp in her right hand. She bent and picked up the Queen's head by the hair, lifting it into the air to mark her victory. She took no pleasure in the display, but the showmanship was expected of her. Lexa kept her prize aloft as she turned to face the late Queen's advisors.

"Tell your new leader that the Coalition stands ready to trade." Lexa stated.

At that one of the hooded attendants came forward, the slightest of the three. The attendant removed her hood and revealed a teenaged girl. Although it had been a long time since she had seen her, Lexa recognised the girl immediately as the Princess. She was the Ice Queen's daughter and heir.

"And the Ice Queen accepts the Coalition's offer," she replied in a steady voice. It was quite something, considering the girl had just watched Lexa behead her own mother. Lexa was reminded of herself when she took command. She must of been a similar age. Lexa almost shivered, had she really been so young?

"We must return to our own territory. First I must have my coronation. Then, we can talk."

Lexa dropped her arm to her side. She looked down at what was in her hands and then back up to the new Queen,

"You may take your Mother's remains to be put to rest as per Ice Nation customs." As the victor of the duel and considering how Costia had- or rather had not- been returned to her, Lexa had every right to keep the body. She could add a final insult by refusing to cremate the remains. Lexa found she had no desire to do this.

"Thank you," the new Queen replied.

Lexa watched as the new Queen and her advisors readied to leave. Someone came forward with a sheet for the body and the corpse was wrapped up and handed over. The same soldiers that had brought them into the city would now escort the Ice people back out.

"Know that the people of the Ice Nation are grateful to you, Commander. You were gracious to offer trade," the new Queen said, before she turned and left with the escort.

It wasn't much, but Lexa knew that the new Queen had just confirmed that Lexa's plan had worked exactly how she had hoped. The late Ice Queen, presented with Lexa's terms, no doubt faced only one choice; agree to the duel or face a rebellion. That the new Queen had chosen to allude to this gave Lexa some hope that she, more than her Mother, was sensitive to the needs of her subjects. But the hope soon faded. The Queen was young and who knew what grudges might flourish, given time.

Lexa looked up and around and found she was alone in the sparring circle. She finally sheathed her sword. Then, Clarke appeared at her side and despite the crowd, she took Lexa's hand in her own.

"How do you feel?" Clarke asked.

Lexa swallowed. "Empty," she whispered back, "I feel empty."

Clarke only nodded in understanding. They stayed there, hand in hand in the centre of the sparring circle. Sharing a quiet moment whilst celebrations erupted around them. Lexa squeezed Clarke's hand and felt Clarke squeeze back. And then she felt a sudden and by now familiar rush of affection for Clarke. It filled the emptiness, replaced nothingness with light. Lexa was reminded again that justice did not come from killing those who had wronged you. It came from refusing to be destroyed by those foes, by continuing to live and to find new happiness despite everything. Lexa hoped it was a kind of justice that would indeed satisfy Costia's memory.