I don't own anything.
Nothing but Trouble
-Chapter Twenty-One:
Sakura watched contemplatively as her old friend sauntered along beside her. In the twenty minutes they had spent strolling out to the Inuzuka compound, the blond had gone from stumbling drunk to dead sober. It didn't seem human. She glanced up the road and spotted the lights of the compound. "There it is."
"Kind of far out into the woods," Naruto commented.
"The Inuzuka like it that way," Sakura replied with a shrug. Naruto froze in mid-step.
"They're the dog people, aren't they?" Sakura frowned at that question.
"Yeah, weren't you and Kiba friends back at the academy?" she asked.
"Well, yeah, but I forgot about the dogs. I hate dogs."
"Since when?" Sakura demanded.
"I've always hated dogs," Naruto answered with a shrug. He took a deep breath and started on the way again. Sakura studied him for a moment before falling into step beside him. They reached the main building and the door banged open even as Sakura raised her fist to knock.
"Hey guys!"
"Hey Kiba," Sakura returned politely as the man waved them in and shut the door behind them. "Sounds like we're late," she noted, hearing the music and chatter of voices coming from the living room.
"Fashionably," Naruto added.
"Very fashionably," Kiba replied as he led the way. "Almost everybody's here. The only guy I couldn't get a hold of was Neji. All I could find out about him was that he's somewhere in Moss Country. Hell, I even. . ."
"Moss Country?" Naruto interrupted.
"Yeah, you know something?" Kiba asked.
"Absolutely," Naruto answered. Sakura let that go on for a moment.
"Well?"
"Well what?" Naruto asked.
"What's Neji doing in Moss Country?" Kiba asked.
"You probably don't want to know," Naruto answered. "So, what did you even?"
"Oh, I even found Shikamaru," Kiba stated. "Luckily, he ended up back in the village with his wife. He spends half the year in the Village Hidden in the Sand."
"He's married?" Naruto asked in shock.
"She proposed." Sakura glanced up and smiled as she saw her old friend.
"Hey Shikamaru."
"Sakura," the spiky-haired jonin replied before turning back to Naruto. "As I was saying, she proposed."
"You still had to say yes," Naruto pointed out. "God knows if you could end up married because a chick asked, I'd have been married years ago."
"True," Shikamaru allowed, "but then again, it was too troublesome to say no." That was when his wife strolled into the entryway and pasted her husband across the back of his head.
"You say that now," Temari stated. "Gaara's been looking for you, Naruto. He told me you and he were going out for food and you had to run because somebody was trying to kill you or something."
"Ah, it was just some village dicks trying to get me declared a missing nin," Naruto corrected. "Don't worry. I took care of it with a record low in fatalities!"
"How many?" Temari asked curiously.
"One," Naruto answered proudly. "Of course, I didn't check up on those other guys so it might be ten, but that's still a record low for an interaction between myself and politics."
"What?" Sakura demanded.
"Huh?"
"Somebody was trying to get you declared a missing nin?" Sakura asked.
"Did I forget to mention that?"
"Naruto!" The blond turned and did a fairly impressive job of curling into the fetal position while remaining standing.
"I'm sorry!" Ino stumbled in her headlong charge at the man. He peaked out from under one arm and slowly relaxed. "Sorry, thought you were someone else."
"That chick you stiffed?" Sakura ventured.
"I stiff a lot of chicks," Naruto replied.
"The one you ditched with the bill in the Land of Moon," Sakura clarified.
"Oh, that kind of stiffing, wait. How do you know about that?" Sakura let out an exasperated cry and stormed into the den.
"Sounds like you've had some interesting times," Ino stated blankly.
"You have no idea," Naruto commented. Ino shook off her shock and snatched up the man's arm and led him towards the den.
"Why don't you tell me all about it." Temari and Shikamaru followed after them leaving Kiba by himself in the entryway. He grinned broadly.
"Hot damn. And I was worried this would be a dull evening!"
(:ii:)
Kiba poured himself a drink and moved to sit beside the only real wallflower at his party. "What's eating you?"
"Did you know that villagers tried to declare Naruto a missing nin?" Sakura asked.
"Yeah, my mom was there to represent our clan," Kiba answered.
"So, I'm the only one who didn't know?" Kiba knew a loaded question when he heard one.
"So, you two are having trouble?" Sakura whipped around viciously and Kiba edged away slightly. "I meant, as friends." The pink-haired woman took a deep, calming breath.
"He didn't even think to tell me that people were trying to kick him out of the village," she growled. "We're supposed to be teammates!"
"I take it this isn't the first time that he hasn't mentioned something, right?" Kiba guessed. He glanced down at the table in front of the woman and winced as he took note of the array of bottles spread on its surface. This wasn't the kind of excitement he had been hoping for. "Why don't you just talk to him?"
"I've tried!" Sakura stated. "He keeps dodging me."
"So, hold him down and beat it out of him," Kiba suggested.
"I. . ." Sakura trailed off and pondered that.
"Maybe you can try that later, though," he added. He really didn't want the super-powered brawler jumping someone in the middle of his living room. He was still replacing the items that Sakura had wrecked the last time she had gotten rowdy at one of his parties. "If you'll excuse me." Kiba climbed to his feet and began making his way through the crowd towards the life of the party.
(:ii:)
Naruto was having a pretty damned good time. It was fun to see so many familiar faces. Well, that and the way Ino was staying tight against his side was providing rather tantalizing promises for later. That was when someone grabbed him by the throat and dragged him off to a corner. "Kiba!"
"We need to talk buddy," the feral shinobi stated. "Sakura is drunk and I think she wants to kick your ass."
"Oh?" Naruto stood on his toes and winced as he caught sight of Sakura working her way through a bottle of sake. "Yeah, she does look kind of pissed."
"What aren't you telling her?" Kiba demanded.
"What?"
"She's pissed at you for keeping secrets," Kiba answered. "You know, just because you're not on a genin team anymore, doesn't mean you can't talk to her. Hell, I still talk with Shino and Hinata all the time."
"You do know that I'm the leader of a hidden village, right?" Naruto asked. "I'm supposed to have secrets."
"Somehow I don't think Sakura gives a shit about the internal politics of your village," Kiba commented. Naruto studied the man shrewdly.
"So, you two are. . ."
"Broken up," Kiba replied. "We're broken up on good terms and she is still one of my closest friends. Tell her what she wants to know."
"And if the truth would hurt her more than anything else?" Naruto ventured.
"Lie to her."
"Lying is for you humans."
"What?" Kiba deadpanned.
"What?" Naruto asked.
"What did you just say?" Kiba asked.
"What," Naruto answered helpfully.
"What did you just say?" Kiba demanded.
"What." Kiba's eyebrow began ticking rather violently. "You know, this conversation isn't going anywhere and I kind of have this chick I'm trying to convince to have a threesome, so I need to get back to that." Kiba could only watch as the blond meandered away. Yeah, he could see how that guy could get on someone's nerves.
(:ii:)
"So, what did Kiba want?"
"He's worried about Sakura," Naruto answered as he refilled his cup.
"Yeah, they dated while you were gone," Ino commented as she clutched his arm tighter. Naruto contemplated his approaches. The other blond had to know about Anko, but she was definitely trawling for some fun. That either meant that she was trying to steal him from Anko, not smart, or she was trying to join in. "Why are you smiling like that?"
"Oh, nothing," Naruto commented. He bumped into someone and turned to catch a flash of long, dark hair and pale eyes. "Hinata!"
"Na-na-naruto," the woman managed to squeak before he grabbed her in a tight hug. She was so cute when she blushed. "Eep."
"You did that on purpose," Ino accused as Naruto gentled Hinata's prone form down onto a nearby couch.
"Maybe," he admitted. "Same old Hinata."
"Actually, no," Ino corrected. "She's head of the Hyuga clan now."
"Did her dad die?"
"No. The clan elders tried to pawn her off in an arranged marriage and make her sister the heir," Ino explained. "Hinata didn't take too kindly to the first bit and seized control of the clan from her father and the clan elders."
"Hinata?" Naruto asked. Ino nodded. "This Hinata?" he demanded, pointing to the brunette.
"The same," Ino confirmed. "Anyway, her father actually supported her and she became the leader. Later, the elders tried to marry off her sister without telling her and she didn't take that so well."
"What'd she do?"
"We're not sure," Ino admitted. "We never found two of them and the others retired and moved far away. Anyway, she united the houses and led the clan into a new era of peace of prosperity. You know, normal stuff."
"Whoa. That's kind of hot."
"You like dangerous women?" Ino asked.
"My favorite kind," Naruto answered.
"You know, I can be very dangerous," Ino commented. Naruto had to grin at that.
"So can I."
"Too bad being dangerous means you can't write." The Yukikage had to fight the urge to jump and he slowly turned to find his old sensei sitting on the couch next to Hinata as if he had always been there. "Ten years and no letters. I think I might cry."
"I can make it up to you," Naruto offered. Kakashi glanced up from his book.
"You can make up for a decade of neglect to your former teacher?" Naruto grinned and reached into his cargo pocket. With a dramatic gesture, he whipped out a small orange book.
"Smut?" Ino asked.
"Erotica," Naruto corrected, still holding his dramatic pose.
"I have all of those," Kakashi added.
"You two are really cramping my style," Naruto growled. "You don't have this one."
"Yes I do," Kakashi replied. "The next book doesn't come out until next year."
"True, but this is a prerelease that my editor sent back to me to check it over," Naruto answered.
"You write that smut?" Ino asked.
"Erotica," Naruto repeated.
"You write Icha Icha?" Kakashi demanded.
"Uh, yeah," Naruto answered, retreating backwards a step. He hadn't seen the man in years, but uber-emotional outbreaks from him were still kind of creepy.
"Naruto?"
"Yes?"
"I have never been prouder of you," Kakashi stated.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Ah, thanks Kakashi."
"Naruto!" Naruto turned in time to see a fist flying at his throat. Normally, he would have been able to block it, but unfortunately, he had a certain blond on his arm and was therefore helpless as Sakura grabbed him by the throat. "I'm going to beat you until answers come out!" she slurred. Naruto glanced around, looking for some sort of aid. Kakashi was reading his new book, Ino was slowly backing away, Hinata was still unconscious and the rest seemed too interested in watching to step in.
"Anybody?"
"We already learned our lesson about stepping between Sakura and anything when she's been drinking," Shikamaru replied. "A vicious beating for you is much preferred to wrecking Kiba's house."
"Again," Kiba added.
"Besides, you heal fast, don't you?"
"And now I'm less important to you people than a house?"
"You have been gone ten years," Kakashi pointed out without glancing up.
"Oh, you guys suck."
"Whatever," Kiba replied. "Don't bleed on my carpet."
-End
(:ii:)
-Author's notes. That's right. I'm back. Although my hearing has gotten even worse. Again. Fucking Harriers. Needless to say, my two weeks was fun. A lot more work than last year, but that's not always a bad thing. It was cool working around planes, at first. After the first two or so, you just wanted to wave those fuckers off like Nick Cage in the Rock.
As usual, when coming back from two fairly crazy weeks away, this chapter was rather rushed. I've gone over it three times and I can't see any screw ups, but I see what I want to see.
So, until next time gents.