A/N: Guys, I am so sorry that I haven't been able to update! My computer crashed right when I was in the middle of writing this chapter and it just started working again! I feel horrible and I hope you all are still interested in this and will continue to read. As always, reviews are appreciated, I love hearing from all of you. Also, please remember to drop by my profile and vote in the poll about whether or not you would like for me to write the winter months. I plan on closing the poll in a week or so, so please take a second to let me know what you think. But without any further delay, here is the next installment in my story! Enjoy!
My heart stopped. In one second, my entire life shattered and all the visions I'd had for the future vanished like smoke in the wind, gone forever.
"Addie," Daryl's voice was soft and I looked up from what sealed my fate into his beautiful blue eyes. "Let's get you inside," he took my arm and gently pulled so I'd start walking.
We didn't speak during the short walk back to the camp where everyone was convening for lunch. I had to fight tears when I saw Shane laughing, sitting next to Andrea. He looked up and his smile broadened when he saw me and I forced a smile of my own on my face so he wouldn't be suspicious.
"Here," Daryl said and handed me his jacket. He was giving me the chance to hide it, knowing I'd want to talk with Shane first. I gave him a wobbly smile and took it, pulling it on my shoulders.
"Hey, where have you been?" Shane asked when I walked up to him and sat on his other side.
"Taking a walk," I found my voice but it was rough with unshed tears. He furrowed his brow, knowing something was wrong.
"Well, let's take one together," he said and stood up, offering me his hand which I took. He wrapped his arm around me, like he could sense that time was short. I put mine around him in return, careful to make sure the jacket covered the scratches thoroughly.
"What's wrong?" He asked once we were out of earshot. I was biting my lip now, trying not to cry. "Addie? Tell me. What can I do? Did Dixon do something? I'll kill him," he was going off in a rant now so I held up my hand to stop him.
"Daryl didn't do anything. I have to tell you something though," my voice was shaky and he was genuinely worried now.
"Well then tell me, damn it, before I have a heart attack," he moved away from me and the cool air nipped at me.
I took a deep, shaky breath, and extended my arm. His brow furrowed again and I reached a trembling hand out to roll up the sleeve on the too big jacket. Confusion remained on my brother's face for another second before realization dawned upon him.
"No," he whispered and the tears came no matter how hard I fought. "What happened?"
"Daryl and I were in the woods, walking and he was showing me how to shoot a crossbow," my voice faltered as I thought about how happy I had been in that moment. I swallowed and kept going. "Everything was fine until a group of walkers showed up. We-we cleared a path and ran back here. I-I'm not sure when…" I trailed off, my throat hurting from the tears I wouldn't cry.
"No," his voice was even softer this time and he doubled over and a sob erupted from his chest. "No damn it!" He yelled making me jump back.
I looked back at everyone, who were staring at us now, wondering what was going on. I saw Rick stand slightly but Daryl shook his head and he sat back down. Daryl's eyes found mine and they were sad, but there was no pity and I was thankful for that. The next thing I knew, Shane was crushing me to his chest, sobbing like I had never seen before, making more tears fall from my eyes.
"Please don't cry," I choked out painfully. "Please," it came out little more than a whisper but Shane pulled back.
There were tears in his brown eyes and I had never seen him so afraid.
"You promised you weren't going anywhere," his voice was pathetic and drenched with pain. "You promised."
I put my hand on his cheek reassuringly trying to conjure up a smile. "It'll be okay. You'll be okay," my voice was much more certain that I had thought it could be. He tried to smile at me but it faltered and he hugged me again.
"What do you want me to do?" He managed to get out and I realized that he was asking me if I wanted him to kill me. I took a shuttering breath. I hadn't even thought about that.
"I don't want you to do it. It can't be you," I said, panicking. I couldn't let Shane do that, no matter what.
"Then who? Would you rather it be Rick? Lori?" He asked somewhat sarcastically.
"No, okay. I don't want them to do it. Just, give me a minute. I need to think," I said, starting to pace in a small circle and chew on my lip. "I need to tell everyone else. They need to know," I started walking back over to everyone, making sure all of the tears were gone from my face.
"Adeline. Is everything okay?" Dale asked, concern written on his open face. I found comfort in the warmth of his gaze but nothing could fill the giant void I had in my chest.
"Actually, no. I need to tell all of you something," I started, my gaze catching Daryl's. His eyes were flaming and it took a second before I could speak again. I repeated the process of rolling up the jacket sleeve. I turned my arm towards the fire so everyone could see the scratches. I couldn't face looking at everyone's reactions so Daryl and I stared at each other.
I heard their mutters and gasps as they one by one realized what had happened. Rick was standing now and I glanced up at him. His expression was hard but I saw the flicker of compassion in his eyes before it vanished. Rick had known me practically my whole life, I'd been like a little sister to him when he and Shane were in high school. In that moment, I wondered how things had gotten so messed up between us, when exactly I had started feeling such contempt towards him.
Then, I gathered the courage to look at everyone else. Dale's gaze was full of compassion and pity. Glenn and T-Dog looked angry. Lori's expression was blank while I saw a few tears in Carl's eyes and I had to look away quickly before I started crying again. I couldn't quite read Andrea's expression but when she spoke, I understood.
"What happened?" She asked and I managed to recap the story (leaving out Daryl's lesson in the crossbow) without tearing up.
"Maybe…maybe they are from the branches. Maybe it wasn't the walkers, you could have just cut your arm on some branches or thorns when you were running," Andrea continued and I had to fight with myself not to put any stake in her words. I couldn't grasp at straws and get my hopes up. I saw Shane's face light up and that made it so much worse.
"Yeah, maybe she's right. You said you aren't sure when it happened. Maybe it's not walker scratches," Shane was smiling and I saw Rick and Daryl look at the ground, understanding how awful this was going to be.
"Honey. The chances of that are…" I started but Shane cut me off.
"It's possible!" He yelled and I realized he knew that it wasn't plausible but he needed to cling to that hope. "We just have to wait and see."
"It can't hurt. If you start showing symptoms, we can…reassess the issue," Rick struggled to find the right words but I understood. If I started showing symptoms, they'd kill me. I nodded, letting him know it was okay.
"Rick! Lori!" I heard someone yelling and I looked up to the porch where Maggie was running out to us. We all shot up, waiting to see what the danger was. "Rick! Beth collapsed! I can't find dad anywhere and she just collapsed. She won't answer me or anything," she rambled once she reached us.
We all started walking briskly to the house to check on the young girl. Maggie led us to the kitchen where Beth was lying on the floor. She didn't appear hurt, physically at least. Rick, Glenn, and Shane all lifted her up easily, trying not to jostle her too much. I realized then that Daryl hadn't come in with us and wondered where he'd went. As the guys carried Beth to a bedroom, I made my way back outside.
The cold wind snapped at me. Georgia was starting to cool off, it wouldn't be long before winter settled in. I pulled Daryl's jacket tighter around me but the breeze still cut through me. I started walking over to where all of our tents were but saw Daryl's was missing. I arched an eyebrow. Where was he? I looked around and saw a figure retreating up the hill that led to the abandoned side of the house. I followed him and by the time I got over the crest of the hill I saw him setting up his tent and starting a low fire.
"Hey!" I called when I got close enough. For a second, I thought my voice had been carried away on the wind but then he looked up at me slightly. I kept walking towards him and when I was just a few feet away I stopped. "What are you doing up here?" I asked him. The wind was even worse up here and my teeth started chattering slightly and I wondered if this could be one of the signs of the virus. I pushed the thought away and continued looking at him but he didn't respond. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I just wanna be alone," he muttered and plopped down on the old stone stove that was up there.
"Well, I was just coming to give you your jacket back," I said and started shrugging out of it. As soon as it was off of my shoulders the chills increased and I didn't get how Daryl could stand it in just his cut-off t-shirt.
Daryl stood up and walked over to me, taking the jacket and the wrapping it back around me.
"Keep it," he said and went back over to sit. He pulled out his knife and started sharpening a stick.
"What are you doing?" I asked him and moved a little closer.
"I don't have an unlimited supply of arrows, so I'm makin' my own," he murmured and looked up at me through his long eyelashes. I took a few more steps forward and sat next to him.
"Thanks. For everything," I said, not daring to look at him for fear of loosing my courage. Instead, I stared out at the sky and the sun starting to fade away behind the horizon. I hoped he understood, this was my goodbye to him.
"It's nothing you wouldn't have done for me," he replied, squinting up at the sky too. He did know.
"You mind if I sit here for a while? It's nice up here," I asked somewhat shyly. I didn't want to impose on him but the thought of going back to face Shane was too much.
"It is," was all the answer he gave, and it was all I needed. I smiled slightly and he smiled back, even though it didn't reach his eyes.
We sat in comfortable silence after that, watching color bleed into the sky. I'm not sure how much time had passed when I saw Lori walking up the hill, hands in pockets.
"Expecting company?" I joked and Daryl looked at me and I gestured my head to the silhouette approaching us.
"What does she want?" He asked but didn't move.
"Moving to the suburbs?" She called as she came closer. I rolled my eyes but stayed quiet. "Listen. Beth's in some sort of catatonic shock. We need Hershel," her voice was strong and bossy, the way it was when she was talking to Carl.
"Yeah. So what?" Daryl asked, continuing to sharpen the stick that was actually starting to look like an arrow now.
"So I need you to run into town real quick and bring him and Rick back," she continued, kneeling next to him. "Daryl?" She called after he didn't answer her.
"Your bitch went window-shopping. You want him? Go fetch him yourself. I got better things to do," he snapped at her and I nearly choked on my laughter.
"What's the matter with you? Don't you be so selfish," she snapped back and I waited for Daryl to explode. And he did.
"Selfish? You listen to me Olive Oyl, I was out there looking for that little girl every single day! I took a bullet and an arrow in the process! Don't you tell me about getting my hands dirty! You want those two idiots? Have a nice ride. I'm done looking for people," during the conversation he had jumped up and gotten in her face and paced around but he returned to his seat as he finished. Lori's expression was hard as she walked away
"Daryl Dixon, you are my hero," I laughed once she had left. He smiled and those beautiful blue eyes peered into my soul. A bit of grief pinged inside me as I thought of all the times I wouldn't get to have with Daryl, and Shane, and everyone else I cared about.
"You know, it's funny. The world is a total wreck, but there has still been some pretty good times in it. Like today, learning to shoot the crossbow, or riding that horse, those are the moments that make this life bearable," I said, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them, the wind rustling my hair in my loose ponytail.
"Yeah. That's why finding that little girl was so important to everyone, it was hope for a future outside of this shit hole world," he added and I was a little shocked by how open he was being. Then I realized this was his final gift to me, letting me really see him like no one else had. It made me extremely happy and extremely sad all at once. Despite that, I swallowed the sad and kept going.
"I know what you mean, we've all been swimming in this darkness for so long. Sophia and Carl are the future. They are the chance for something after all of this. Or, they were," I said and I felt the chill start creeping into my bones.
"Exactly. I guess it's up to Carl now," he said with a little venom.
"Well, not just him. Lori's pregnant," I told him and ice spread in my veins at a thought. Lori's baby could be Shane's, which would make it my niece or nephew. And I'd never get to meet them.
"Really?" Daryl's voice stopped me from falling over a mental cliff.
"Yeah. So maybe there is still some hope in this world. Take care of the baby," I said, still staring at the sky that was now almost completely dark. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and saw him nod which made a knot dissolve from my chest. I used the coat sleeves to wipe at my eyes, the wind blowing making them water.
"You feel anything?" He asked and I shook my head, my hair falling down completely with the motion and starting to blow in the heavy wind.
"Nothing. Maybe Andrea's right," I laughed sarcastically. I was trying to make light of the situation so I didn't start bawling. I couldn't stand for Daryl to see me like that.
He reached out his hand and put it on my knee, which was still hugged to my chest. It took me by surprise for a second and he tensed as I did. It felt nice though, so I relaxed and so did he, leaving his had there for a moment. The gesture made it even harder not to cry. I thought in that moment of cancer patients, knowing they were going to die and having to just wait for it to happen. The thought brought a sob from my chest before I could stop it. The motion startled Daryl and he moved as I held my knees tighter and tried to force back the treacherous tears that were starting to fall.
Daryl didn't tell me everything was going to be okay, and I was glad for that. He did, however, put his arm around my shoulder and slide a little closer to me, letting me cry.
"I'm sorry. I know I'm a mess," I said after gaining control of myself and wiping my eyes with the jacket again.
"No. You're not. You're strong and brave, and that's what I like about you," he said and I looked up at him. From where I was tucked under his arm, I could see the strong line of his jaw and the stubble that ran along it. I had the strangest thought of what it would feel like to rub against it.
The wind was blowing ferociously now but I didn't feel cold anymore. There was electricity in the air around us and my heart was beating erratically. We stared into each other's eyes; ice versus green fire. I felt him leaning in a little bit closer and my breath caught for a second before I breathed in his scent. He smelled like a mixture of pine and stale smoke, it was oddly pleasant. He came closer still and it was like my entire world hung on that one second when we closed our eyes and my mouth parted slightly in anticipation. I could feel his lips hovering just above mine and then a sound burst our blissful bubble.
"Addie! Addie!" It was Shane and Daryl and I pulled away quickly. My cheeks started flaming and I made my hair a barrier between us. We were still sitting close when my brother broke the crest of the hill.
"I'm here," I called and stood up, the wind ripping through me again now that I didn't have Daryl to fight back the cold.
"What are you doing up here? I've been looking everywhere. Have you seen Lori?" He was speaking in a rush and I had to work extra hard to process each statement due to the fog clouding my brain after the encounter. I dared a look back at Daryl. He was looking at me too and his eyes said more than words ever could. He was sorry we got interrupted, so was I.
"Um, not since earlier. Why?" I asked after reluctantly breaking our eye contact.
"We can't find her anywhere. She's missing."
"She probably went out looking for Rick and Hershel," Daryl spoke from his seat and I looked back at him. The passion was still evident in his eyes and I felt heat flood my cheeks and used my hair as a divider.
"Why?" Shane asked, looking at me confusedly.
"She wanted me to go. I told her if she wanted them she could go herself," Daryl shrugged but I saw Shane tense slightly.
"Why would you let her go out there by herself? Anything could happen to her," his voice was a little strained but he was keeping a level head for now.
"How was I supposed to now that she would pick today to stop getting others to do her dirty work and do something on her own?" He asked and I knew nothing good would come of the insult.
"Listen here, redneck, don't talk about her like that, you don't know her," Shane's voice lost its control and he stepped toward Daryl who rose up to face him.
"Guys, just calm down," I said, physically putting myself between them.
"I'm going out to look for her. If anything's happened to her, you and I are going to have to have it out," Shane resigned after a minute of staring Daryl down. "Addie," Shane called and jerked his head, indicating he wanted me to follow him.
"Yeah?" I asked as we took a few steps away from Daryl.
"I'm sorry I gotta go, but I'll be back soon. If…if you feel anything, just…don't say anything until I get back, okay? Oh, and stay away from Dixon, he's bad news," Shane said in a whisper. I saw love in his eyes but there was something else too, something that had been controlling my brother for a while now, but I didn't know what it was.
"Okay, I won't say anything. Hurry back," I said, giving him a hug and not making any promises about Daryl. I couldn't keep denying that there was something between us, and I wanted to figure out what it was before I turned and wanted to eat his face off.