So, I was reading over my chapters, and I feel like I have some Mary-Sue's. Can I get your opinion on that? It will help me to find what I'm doing wrong and improve my writing.

Thanks a billion~!

It was a nice night. I was having fun stargazing from my window. Yea, it was nice. So something was obviously going to ruin it. Completely. I should have taken some sort of warning when the top of Hunter's mountain base blew up.

Then it happened. My night was ruined. And the bad luck came in the form of five people with animal ears and tails. Great.

When they first knocked on my door, I opened it, took one look, and shut the door. I really shouldn't have done that, because the next thing I know, the door was on the other side of the room, and an extremely pissed Shade and Hunter came barreling in, steam practically poring out of their ears. I was suddenly glad my mom was in France for the next month for a study course.

Instead of being shocked, I raised one finger, walked over to the nearest wall silently, and without warning, slammed my head into it, successfully knocking myself out.

I came to on the couch, Sky and Vector hovering over me worriedly. I shut my eyes again, not wanting to see the faces of the cause of my misery.

Then it struck me.

They had come at 12 o'clock at night, busted down my door, and made me knock myself out. I guess I must have had a slight tantrum, because I soon found the annoyances on the floor with random pieces of furniture on them, the worst being Hunter and Shade, who had a door and large coffee table on their backs respectively.

Shade was the first one up. "WHAT THE FRICK!" She shouted at my, the force of her scream pushing my hair back. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"

"OH, I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE COMING OVER FOR A FRIENDLY VIST AFTER YOU BUSTED MY DOOR DOWN!" I yelled right back, fire blazing in my brown eyes.

"YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SHUT IT IN OUR FACES!"

"THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU BUST IT DOWN!"

"THEN WHAT DOES IT MEAN, HUH?"

"IT MEANS 'GET THE FRICK OFF MY LAWN'!"

"Guys…"

"STAY OUT OF IT, ADIAN!" We both screamed at the small boy, who shivered and went into an emo corner, waves of depression rolling off him while Sky patted his back.

I calmed down and plopped onto the floor next to Hunter, who had a rather large bump on her head.

"So, why are you here?" I finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Because, in a stroke of genius," Sky said this with a rather large amount of sarcasm dripping off her words like venom, "Hunter here decided it would be great if she covered Flame with tar and feathers, then blow up the mountain after almost getting us killed."

I stole a glace at Hunter, who was grinning widely, and scooted over slightly. You know, for safety reasons. I was NOT scared, okay?! I WASN'T!

I looked around and realized that my uninvited-and unwanted- company was armed to the teeth except for Vector, who only had a little tool belt around her waist. I guess he did hand to hand combat.

I changed my tune real quick when her pulled a rather large bazooka out and began tinkering with it. I stared at it for a little, decided I hade seen stranger things and left it alone.

I saw that Hunter was no longer sitting next to me. "Hey, where's-" A large crash came from the kitchen area. Soon Hunter reappeared, arms full of junk food and a piece of chocolate hanging out of her mouth.

I slapped my forehead and reached over to take the food away.

Bad idea.

I would have ended up with no hand if Vector hadn't snatched it away fast enough. I stared in shock at Hunter, who was know growling at me like some sort of monster, ears shoved forward and tails bristling.

I looked over at Vector, who sweat dropped. "Word of the wiser, don't try to take Hunter's food unless you want to end up with one less limb than what you started with." He muttered. I nodded slowly.

A couple of loud explanations later, I finally got them to shut up. I sighed in relief and leaned back on the couch heavily.

After a couple of blissful moments of quiet, Hunter and the rest's ears suddenly pricked foreword. I looked around at them, noticing how tense they had become. Shade had begun to slowly unsheathe her white kanata and Adian and Hunter had drawn their guns.

I was about to ask what was wrong when I heard it. A low wining noise coming from outside. I began to feel the hairs on my neck raise up and I felt static electricity race through the air. My eyes widened and I managed to flatten Hunter to the floor before a large bolt of deadly lightning shot just hairs above us.

Everyone was on his or her feet in a flash and I clambered off Hunter after realizing what a weird position we had ended up in. The noise had gotten louder and what looked like a black snout poked into the now door less doorframe.

They rest of the body came and I nearly puked from the thick smell of death that it carried.

It looked like a large, black, bloody horse. It had glowing blue eyes and every now and then light would flash around its body.

It had the shape of a regular horse, but it was blurry around the edges, as if had been smeared by an eraser. It had multiple slashes on its neck and face, and a large gaping hole where I was pretty sure a heart should have been.

I gulped and reached for a weapon of some sort, and ended up with a small tin of breath mints. I sweat dropped and face faulted. Not what you would call an A-Class weapon, but it would half to do, because the monster looked ready to charge.

I glanced to my right and saw sweat make a path down Hunter's face. On my right, Adian gulped and tightened his grip on the gun.

I popped a breath mint in my mouth.

What? At lest I would have nice smelling breath when I made it to the flip side.

Sky raised her staff and took the first swing. It came around fast, but when it connected, nothing happened. It simply passed right through. I had a sinking feeling that we were completely screwed.

Adian and Hunter shot a couple of rounds, but like the blade, the bullets slid right on by.

The horse made its move and we only just managed to evade it. The demon crashed into the wall, and it left a mark.

"H-how… How can it make a dent in the wall, but we can't touch it?" Sky cried, swinging her staff with the same results.

We ran into the open before it could recover. We didn't get vary far.

A sudden shout of pain had me skidding to a halt. I spun around and saw that the horse had caught up and at some point had grown a horn. That same horn had pierced Sky through the arm. Straight through. I could see the end of it poking past her skin on the other side.

"SKY!" Adian shouted, running back to help. The horn was removed with a wet sound, and the wound began bleed gallons. Sky grit her teeth and clutched her arm.

Adian had only made it so far before a lightning bolt struck him down. His mouth gaped in a silent scream as it hit him. He collapsed and Hunter let out a scream. She ran over and picked him up, scrambling to get back over to us before she was hit too.

She was lucky.

She placed Adian down on the ground and looked up at the demon with a look of complete rage.

"Don't touch my family, you FLITH!"She screamed, firing like a mad person. The bullets passed right through, but she didn't stop firing. When she was out of bullets, she pulled out her knives and ran at the demon.

The knife deflected a bolt, and she brought the other one down onto its neck. It hit. The demon looked just as surprised as us. It screamed and reared onto its back legs. It brought its hooves down, and Hunter didn't have time to react. She got out of the way, but one of her legs and two of her tails were crushed. The scream she let out will forever haunt my mind.

I must have blanked out for a few moments, because I saw Shade and Vector lying on the ground, moaning in pain from the multiple wounds they carried.

The smell of blood was thick in the air and I was unarmed besides the can of breath mints.

The demon charged me, and I threw out my hands instinctively. The horse stopped in front of me.

It sniffed the breath mints.

It screamed.

And it disappeared in a cloud of foul smelling black smoke.

I stared at the place it had been.

And stared.

And stared some more.

Then it finally registered.

"Its weakness was… Breath mints?"

I fell anime style.

I got up and brushed myself off. I remembered my… friends, and turned around, wincing at their state.

Adian had woken up, but had a bad burn on his stomach. He was cradling his sister's head in his arms, chanting like a mantra, "Don't die, don't die, don't die…"

Sky had managed to stop the bleeding and she had wrapped it up in bandages I guessed were from the pouch on shoulder I hadn't seen.

Vector and Shade seemed to be the lest injured, but weather it was from skill or sheer luck, I didn't know.

My world suddenly tilted and I felt dewy grass on my cheek. A faintly heard Sky shout before everything went black.

My night sure had been ruined.

All done~! What did you think? I'm not to great at fight scenes, so I'm not sure how that turned out…

Oh, well!

REVEW PLEASE!