December 23, 2005

9:45 A.M.

Christian was never normal; but really, who knows what normal is anymore?

October 1, 1994

2:45 P.M.

"Ugh, they sent our babysitter," Kate scoffed, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

Ana pursed her lips, slightly less annoyed than Kate. In all honesty, she was more curious than upset. Why hadn't her driver picked her up? She twirled a piece of her hair, contemplating the many reasons for why Christian was sent in Henry's place.

"Did they fire Harry?" Kate asked, digging through her purse while kids dispersed around them.

School had ended and children were rushing to get to their designated areas. Some to the bus stop, some to their parents' cars, some to after-school activities. Whatever the reason, they had somewhere to be.

With all the commotion around them, Kate and Ana looked out of place. They stood still, not seeming to care about where they were off to. It was usually the routine for them on Friday's-stand out in the courtyard in front of their school while they waited for their driver to get them. Henry was never late-they purposely told him to show up fifteen minutes after school had already ended.

"It's Henry," Ana answers, staring at Christian from a distance. He couldn't seem them-not that he was really looking, but she took the time to study him. He looked pale.. and weak. She frowned at the sight. She was accustomed to Christian always having a sour expression, but she wasn't used to him looking so gaunt. "And no. He took me to school this morning."

"He could have been fired after you left," Kate muttered; "God, have you seen my pager? I can't find it anywhere!"

"Breast pocket."

Kate looked down, then smirked at Ana.

"You're a life saver." She grabbed her arm, linking their elbows together. "Let's go deal with Mr. Sourpuss."

They walked over the trimmed, green grass of their school courtyard, the area now deserted. It was a cold winter afternoon-the wind biting at their skin. They made their way to Christian, who was parked in one of the many cars the Grey's had amassed over the years.

Kate tapped on the window, a hand on her hip and an eyebrow raised. Christian rolled his eyes, begrudgingly rolling down the window after awhile.

"Can I help you, Ms. Kavanagh?" Christian grumbles, his voice silky and smooth even when tinged with bitterness.

"Never," she shoots, a scowl on her face, "why are you even here? You can't drive, asswipe, you only have a permit."

Ana grimaced at her friend's rudeness.. But she didn't defend him. He had ignored her ever since her twelfth birthday. She was glad someone was taking some anger out on him.

"Yeah, well I won't tell if you won't."

She scrunches her face up-almost as if she is disgusted by the fact that he even spoke to her directly. She turns away from him, giving Ana a quick hug.

"I'm gonna page my dad and ask him to pick me up. Have fun with your.. pet."

"Bye," Ana whispers, watching her friend walk briskly back towards the courtyard. She turns towards Christian, biting her lip in anxiety.

What do you say to someone you barely see anymore? Her and Christian used to be completely in-sync-as if they were the same person. Now, she barely recognized the person sitting right in front of her.

"There is this thing called a door; usually people enter it in order to get inside or out of specific places," he mutters, an air of mirth in his tone.

She stared blankly at him, no humor at all present in her eyes.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had to work..." she trailed off, confused. "And you can't drive, you could get in trouble."

"Loosen up a bit, will you? I took some time off today.. I thought we could do something."

"Oh, now you care about spending time with me?" She scoffs, shaking her head.

"I've been busy," he starts, "but now I'm not. Shall we cease the day, then?" He asks, smiling crookedly at her.

She frowned. This is the happiest he's been in a month, but she still felt bitter from the cold-shoulder he's been giving her. She opened her mouth to make a snarky comment, but looked at his eyes. They were bright, like he was interested in spending time with her. At that moment, she gave in. Some would call her spineless, but she didn't care. Any attention she got from Christian she lapped up like a man stranded in the desert.

However, she didn't show how eager she really was. She put on an impassive face, rolling her eyes. She crossed her arms.

"Fine," she spat out, "if you insist."

She gripped the edge of her seat, her stomach churning from nervousness. The car raced around the sharp bends, feeling as if it would topple over any minute.

"Oh my god, could you slow down, please?" She asked sharply.

He laughed, the noise sounding discordant and completely wrong. That wasn't the laugh she had grew up listening to-it was slow and.. sloppy. Not velvety, or smooth. She eyed him, her stomach dropping with every turn of the wheel.

When she looked at him again, his eyes weren't bright like she had thought-they were dazed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She whispered.

"Everything," he shot back. Then he smirked, glancing at her.

"Did you take something?" She guessed, frowning. She yelped as the car turned abruptly, narrowly missing one of the steel guard-rails.

"Sorry," he said, his eyes wide and looking alert... at least for a moment.

"Let me out," she pleaded, tears welling up. Her knuckles were turning white from how intense her grip was on the seat.

He looked over at her, confused. He frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything!" She yelled, "I don't even know who you are anymore! You never talk to me, you're never home, you keep getting into trouble.. And now this. You're putting my life in danger and you promised you'd protect me.." Her tone died down as her tirade went on, tears spilling over her cheeks. "It's like you turned into some monster.." She whispered.

The brakes screeched and he slammed down onto them. Ana's body lurched forward. Her chest burned from the sudden and harsh collision with the seat-belt.

"Don't you get it?!" He screamed, his skin turning red and his eyes burning a fiery grey. He reached across the console, grabbing hold of her biceps, shaking her harshly. She screamed from the forceful movement, her tears falling rapidly.
"I've always been a monster! But you and everyone else just keep pushing and pushing and pushing," Ana could smell a faint hint of whiskey on his breath from how close they were to each other. "I will never be who you want me to be. This is me, this person right here," he growls, pointing towards his chest. "Take it or leave it."

He lets go of her bicep, falling back into his seat. His chest rises and falls from the excursion of his outbreak. Ana turns away, looking out the window.

"I must have never known you then," she answers, her voice devoid of emotion. "I want to go home."

She lays in bed, the moonlight creating etches of intricate shapes on her ceiling as it leaks through her window. She imagines that she's floating in the clouds, the air brushing over her skin, causing goosebumps and the hair on her arms to stand up. She imagines so deeply that she can almost taste the air on her tongue-so crisp and stark. She can smell how fresh everything is around her. She closes her eyes, letting her imagination take her away.

Any place is better than where she is now.

Her heart rate slows down, her body easing away the anxiety of the day's events. She shudders as she thinks of how crazy Christian acted today. Her eyes sting again as she recalls his tirade-how rough he touched her. She willed the thought away, focusing on going back to her happy place.

Her eyes snap open as she feels a movement on her bed. She opens her mouth to scream, but a rough hand quickly covers it. The hand smells of citrus.

Christian.

She looks over, the structure of his face barely visible in the darkness of her room, but she knows it's him. Her eyes well up again.

"Leave me alone," she grits out.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, pain clear in his voice. His eyes are illuminated-a sight so beautiful it causes her heart to speed up.

"What did you do that?" She asks, confusion expressed in her voice and on her face.

He swallows. "I thought you would help me.. You always do."

"Help you with what?"

He shakes his head.

"No," she insists, moving away from him, indignant. "If you're in my bed, you're going to answer my questions."

He takes a deep breath. "Usually I'm good with controlling how shitty I feel about myself but lately I can't keep it in and I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I'm so confused about everything and I just want to disappear. I come for this fucked up past and I live with such perfect, good people that I can't even compare," he spits out in a rush, so quick that some of his words mix together.

She gapes at him.

"You're the nicest person I know," she responds, completely confused.

"I'm your brother, you just say that because you're used to being around me," he argues.

"I say that because I love you," she answers, without hesitation. Her cheeks redden slightly, embarrassed by what she just said. They always say "I love you" to each other, but lately Ana had feelings she was confused by. She wasn't sure what kind of love she felt for him anymore. "And.. Because I see how you treat people. You're always giving to the less fortunate," she adds on.

He purses his lips.

"You're too nice to me. I treated you like crap today.."

"Well that's because you're a jerk," she said matter-of-factually, "but you're my brother. I would never abandon you."

Christian frowns. As Ana looks at him, she sees an emotion cross his face; something she has never seen before. It's disconcerting, but fascinating at the same time.

He takes her hand, lacing their fingers together. As he moves her hand, the bracelet on her wrist jingles, the grey-eyed charm glinting as it hits the moonlight.

"Being me is the hardest thing in the world," Christian states.

She rolls her eyes.

"But it's a little less hard with you." Her stomach drops, goosebumps prickling on her skin. When he says things like this to her, she feels so.. Weird. She could never find the words to describe it, but she knew for sure that only Christian could make her feel this way. "I used to think that Grace saved me that day," he drawls, "which she did. At least physically. But I think the most important thing she did was lead me to you."

She stares at him, each of their eyes burning intensely as they peer into one another's. She breaks eye-contact, a slow blush making it's way onto her skin. Thank God it was dark, she thought.

He let go of her hand, turning away to leave. She grabbed his arm, already missing his company.

"Don't go," she pleaded.

"Ana," he drew out, "We've been over this a dozen times before-"

"Yeah, but you owe me," she argued. "Plus I watched this movie and it creeped me out.."

He rolled his eyes, then sighed.

"As soon as I see your eyes close, I'm leaving," he insists.

"Then I'll just keep them open all night."

Thanks for your support! Don't forget to review; I honestly love to hear what you guys have to say. Feedback is important to understand what I could change to make the story better for my readers and also influence where I could possibly take this. I have a pretty mapped-out idea, but you guys come up with some interesting ideas.

P.S. A reviewer asked me if there is only a three year age difference between Ana and Christian, and the answer is yes.