A depressed author makes for a depressing chapter.

January 13, 2006

2:21 P.M.

The ones who love you often hurt you the most.

September 13, 1997

6:15 A.M.

She wondered if Seattle offered the death penalty. Surely the jury would have no mercy on someone who had murdered their own brother; but as she stared at his impassive face - quietly eating his cereal-she had to fight the urge to break the plate in front of her and use the rusty, jagged edge to stab him.

He looked up at her, frowning. She continued to stare, her glare growing stronger. How the hell could he look her in the eye after what he's been doing? How could he have the audacity to look anyone in the eye? He dropped his spoon, staring back.

Grace used to swear that Ana and Christian shared one mind and one body. If she hurt, he hurt. If one was angry, so was the other.

If that was the case, Ana wondered, did Christian know about the seriously homicidal thoughts she directed towards him?

Grace set down a plate of eggs on the table, eyeing both Ana and Christian suspiciously. She pulled Carrick to the side, who had just entered the kitchen, preoccupied with fastening his tie.

"What the hell is going on with them?" She whispered, moving Carrick's hands away and fastening the tie herself.

He glanced over, shrugging his shoulders.

"Lover's quarrel," he said dismissively, "one of them probably cheated on the other."

She slapped his chest. "That's not funny," she scolded. "I'm serious."

"So am I-that's too tight-" he said in regards to his tie, "It's obvious they expect each other to have no type of social life outside of their own."

Grace frowned. "Do you really think that?" She said, loosening his tie. "That's not normal."

"What's also not normal is your complete inability to whisper," Christian quipped, placing his bowl in the sink and exiting out of the kitchen door.

Grace blushed, looking down. Carrick chuckled softly, kissing her head.

"I've told you for years you needed to work on that."

3:30 P.M.

"Are you alright, Ana?"

Ana blinked, snapping out of her daydream. As she looked up, she realized the classroom was empty. Did the bell ring already?

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm sorry," she mumbled, furiously trying to close her books and make her way out of the room.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked, looking concerned.

Ana blushed underneath his gaze. Jack was her student-teacher, and quite literally, the only male in that school who didn't act like a degenerate. He also happened to be very attractive, which was a plus.

"Yeah, just... Having a rough day."

"Would you like to talk about it? I have time, unless you need to catch the bus.."

She looked into his eyes-blue, likes her-but they were.. Different. Almost white. As he looked at her with concern, she had a feeling there was something else hidden in his gaze.

But what did she know? The person she'd been closest to for her whole life had managed to hide a secret from her for God knows how long.

"Trust me, you don't want to know," she muttered, bending over to place her books inside of her messenger bag.

Jack looked down, eyeing her chest-but of course Ana didn't catch that.

When she looked back up, his eyes were on her face, still holding that concerned gaze.

"Are you in some sort of physical danger?"

She laughed. "No, I think I'm a physical danger to him."

"Oh," he announced, as if he knew what her problem was, "A boy. I'm guessing your love interest..?"

She blushed. "My brother, actually.." She said awkwardly.

"For some people, that is a love interest," he laughed.

Ana stared back blankly.

Jack cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, brothers are stupid. Trust me, I know."

"You have a sibling?" She asked, interested now.

"Yeah, unfortunately." Ana smiled at his words, understand exactly what he was talking about. "But you have to realize that no matter how much they fuck up, you just have to deal with it. They're your family and that means giving them unconditional love."

Ana was taken aback - slightly by his vulgar language - but also from his advice. He seemed like a gruff guy, not the kind who would give such sympathetic advice. But for some reason, she couldn't agree with him. She was sick of chasing Christian with so little in return. It was getting tiring.

"Everything runs out eventually," she argued.

3:45 P.M.

Christian was sitting outside of St. Agnes-once again-waiting for his little sister. If Grace was going to keep asking him to do this, she might as well pay him for being Ana's personal driver. Idly, he thought about where Henry could be.

His heart felt... Weird. He was getting quite annoyed by the feelings he had been having. He wasn't used to feeling anything at all actually. He was accustomed to the dull, empty void that accustomed no emotion. To him, that was comforting.

Now, he was questioning everything he knew. His lifestyle-sexual lifestyle, that is-his relationship with his family, how he treated people around him... Christian Grey was actually considering being nicer to people around him.

Hell must have froze over.

These new thoughts and feelings.. Scared him. What's worse, he didn't know where they were coming from. One minute, he was the usual bastard he always is, then suddenly he's turning.. Soft.

As he was disgusting himself with thoughts of showing actual human emotion, he saw the glint of mahogony hair in the sun.

About damn time.

He turned the car back on, anticipating her entrance into the car. As he looked closer, he noticed she was with someone.

The same. Fucking. Bastard she's always with.

He gritted his teeth. He looked anxiously, hoping the man-child would disappear any moment now, but he realized that they were both walking towards him. His grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"Gosh, what are you, my personal driver now?" Ana griped as she threw her bag in the back seat.

"Is this him?" The man-child asked.

Christian raised an eyebrow.

Ana sighed. "Yeah, unfortunately." They both laughed, making Christian's blood boil.

Does nobody know how to fucking whisper anymore?

"Hey, prick," Christian grumbled, "I can clearly hear you, so if there's a problem-"

Ana gasped. "Jesus, lower your testosterone. There's no problem," she snapped. She turned back towards Jack. "Sorry my brother is such a neanderthal."

Jack shrugged, smirking slightly.

He reached his hand through the window, offering a handshake. "Hello, I'm Jack," he said in a politely manner.

Christian stared at Jack's hand, making no move whatsoever to acknowledge his presence.

Jack retracted his arm awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pocket.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked, directing it towards Ana.

"Yeah, bye," Ana said, smiling up at him in that way that made Christian's stomach roil.

Jack touched her hand as he walked away.

"Bye, baby bird," said Jack, causing Ana to giggle.

Christian's head snapped towards Jack, his heart racing. Goosebumps rose on his skin, his body turning cold as if ice-water had been injected into his veins. For some reason, raw, unadulterated fear creeped into Christian's body. As he looked at Jack, he was reminded of those cruel memories from his childhood.

Ana climbed into the car, fastening her seat belt. Christian stared at Jack, his body shaking. The man-child flashed a knowing smile, slowing winking before turning away.

4:00 P.M.

"You're not talking to him again - ever," said Christian through gritted teeth, his heart still racing.

Ana scoffed. "As much as you may think so, you're not my father and I don't have to listen to you," she grumbled.

"Yeah, I'm not your father, but you still have to listen to me," he argued, "that guy is a creep."

"Ha!" She laughed cynically, "He's a creep? What about that she-devil you hang out with all the time?"

"What?" Christian asked, confused.

"Oh, shut up. You know who I'm talking about."

Fear creeped into Christian's body again, but not from his encounter with Jack. Could Ana really know about Elena?

"She's a hag and constantly hits on you... And what's worse, you like it," she spat out, disgusted.

Christian glanced towards Ana, biting his lip. He didn't know what to say.

"God, how can you come home and look at mom in her eyes after what you do?"

He swallowed. "And what exactly do I do?" He asked, deciding to play dumb.

"You know, Christian!" She screeched, her voice piercing his ears. "I saw how you guys acted around each other when I visited you at WSU yesterday. She's your professor for God's sake.. And she looks like she's fifty five."

Christian furrowed his brow, then laughed. A big, hearty laugh. The kind of celebratory laugh that only happens when someone gets themselves out of deep shit.

"Ross?" He laughed, with actual mirth. His usual laughs were almost always filled with bitter hostility.

"You find this funny?!" She yelled. "I've always wanted to go to WSU and now you've soiled my dream school!"

"Ana, Ross is gay.. And she's not my teacher, she's a student just like me. She made some mistakes and now she's trying to get her life together."

"Oh," she whispered, her cheeks reddening.

"That's why you were giving me death glares at breakfast?" He asked, amused.

"Yeah.."

"Well if that's how you would feel about me being involved with my teacher, you should know how I feel about that prick, bastard, creepy, jackass you hang around," he said.

"Jack isn't a creep - and he's technically not even my teacher. He's not certified yet. Plus, he's not thousands of years older than me."

"It doesn't matter, Ana. He gives me bad vibes.."

"That's because you're a selfish asshole!" She exploded. "It's fine for you to do whatever the hell you want to do, but God forbid I even go outside with my hair wet, the world will end!"

He frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're more overprotective than my own parents," she responded, rolling her eyes. "And why? It's not like you even care.."

"What do you mean I don't care? Of course I do-"

"Whatever, Christian. It's so obvious you care about no one but yourself. You shut us all out when all we want to do is be there for you," she whispered, hurt. "I can't keep worrying about you. I have a life too."

He looked at her, the light from her eyes fading. He ran a hand through his hair, trying desperately to interpret her words in other way than what they were actually saying. For the third time today, he panicked.

She was giving up on him.

And it was his fault.

Honestly, this chapter is such shit to me; but I have already kept you guys waiting for so long, so I decided to put it up anyway. I'm not in the right state of mind to be writing - as you can see by how horrible this chapter is - but there will be more to come. This is setting up future chapters for Ana to make some discoveries about herself and establish a life away from him. And Jack is going to be as evil as he was in the original books, except I can assure you that the drama will be more intense than in FSOG.

-XoXo