Chapter fifteen
"Bella," Esme smiled warmly, stepping forward to wrap Bella in a warm and secure hug.
"What are you doing here?" Bella couldn't stop the question from leaving her mouth when Esme released her from the hug.
"I haven't seen you in a long time, dear, and thought it was high time for us to set eyes on each other again," Esme laughed as Bella gestured towards Edward's apartment, a more comfortable setting for their reunion.
"I can't thank you enough for how Carlisle and you helped us having Rose return home with us: I don't think I would have been able leave her behind one more time."
"Edward told us how worried you've been since you learned of her being committed to the hospital, and he told me of how madly in love Emmett have become after only spending a short time at Rose's side: to make him leave her behind would have been as difficult as making you leave her behind. There were no choice for us but to help you, not that we're not happy to do so."
"No matter the reason for you to do so, both Rose and I are grateful for it, and I'm pretty sure Emmett will adore the ground the two of you walk upon," Bella said with all seriousness, making Esme laugh at the comment about Emmett.
"I have another motive for coming to see you, I have to confess," Esme sighed. "Edward have told us that the two of you will to start a relationship and live together, as it is that none of you have feelings for the other."
"I don't love Edward," Bella informed Esme, "But I do care for him."
"I know, and he cares for you as well. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that both Carlisle and I are happy that the two of you have come to an agreement that suits the both of you and one that will benefit the baby with both its parents in such a close proximity." Bella opened her mouth to speak, but Esme wasn't done yet. "We don't care what the two of you do in the future, as long as our grandchild is a happy child with two parents who can plaster on a smile for his or hers benefit."
"Haven't Edward told you?" Bella asked, blurting out the words before Esme could continue. "We're having a girl, a little girl called Charlotte Renee." The smile that stretched across Bella's face as she said her little girls name was a proud smile, filled with joy.
"A girl!" Esme cried, throwing her arms around Bella's shoulders and hugging her tightly, "Oh, a little girl! And such a beautiful name. I presume it's been chosen to honor your parents?" Esme asked when she pulled away from Bella.
"It was Edward's idea to name her after them," Bella nodded, feeling her heart swell whenever she thought about it, "I was toying with several names but none of them felt right, until Edward came up with Charlotte Renee. When I heard it, I knew it was the right name for her."
"I can't wait to tell Carlisle about the little girl we're awaiting," Esme whipped away a few tears that had escaped her eyes before straightening her back. "We can talk about the little princess that will join us soon, later. Right now, I don't think I will be able to return to the subject if I'm lured off the trail again. I wanted to talk to you about Edward, Bella, about the relationship the two of you haven had going."
"Ok," Bella said, feeling as if she was sent to the principal to be scolded.
"I know that your relationship have only been physical and, well, sexual from the very beginning the two of you met, and I know that the two of you knew of each other long before the dinner we had with your dad back in the fall."
"We met back in June last year, the same day I finished my bachelor and went out to celebrate."
"And you went to a bar that wasn't the next neighbor to the campus, but still filled to the rim with college students, and Edward, among them." Bella nodded. "Edward have never dated anyone, and he has only had two girlfriends that I know of. The first one he had at the end of high school. He proudly introduced us to her and they quickly started to find a college where they both could get in and place where they could live together. On their graduation day, she broke up with him, very publically if I recall it correctly. The second time, it was the same girl from high school. They met again his second year at Law and he was smitten with her again right away. Again, she broke his heart with a very publically display of their breakup."
"So she ruined him for future girlfriends."
"Yes. I remember Tanya and I thought she was the most adorable girl I had ever met in my life but her heart was a few sizes too small for her and she were unable to see past her own selfishness." Hearing the name 'Tanya' made Bella tense but she quickly assured herself that there were probably a whole lot more girls and women in Boston who bore the name, not only her doctor. "But Carlisle and I believe that the reason why Edward is unable to connect with a woman on an emotional level goes further back that having his heart broken by Tanya. He has always been a very closed off and private man, even as a little boy. When he was nine, we were so worried about him and his unnatural behavior as a nine year old boy, that we sent him to a colleague of us, a therapist who had never met Edward before. In the beginning, there were nothing to tell but one afternoon, my little boy broke down in tears as soon we crossed the threshold of our house. The therapist had dug deep into Edward and he found a dream that Edward had when he was five or six, a dream that scared Edward so that he shut down to everything around him, to protect himself."
"What kind of dream can a five year old have that makes him shut down like that?"
"Edward told us about the dream and apparently, he had dreamt that Carlisle and I had slowly started to ignore him, talking over his head at dinner and breakfast and not helping him get ready for school or ready for bed at night. The climax of dream seemed to be Carlisle and me shouting at Edward that we didn't love him, that we were better off having a new child, a smart and kind one, not one like him."
"There must have been something to trigger such a dream," Bella murmured, trying to analyze it for herself.
"Just before Edward turned five, Carlisle and I decided that maybe it was time to have another child, before Edward was too old to play with his brother or sister. We told him and explained we would of course love him just as much as the new baby and he seemed to accept the fact that would have to share us. But then it turned out that I couldn't have any more children, breaking both Carlisle's heart and mine. Instead of telling Edward this, we decided that maybe it was best to just let it die down and if Edward would ever, we would explain it to him. Nothing came up and we never explained it to Edward until that day when he was nine and broke down in tears in front of us after talking with the therapist. He felt guilty for having such a dream when he told him every day that we loved him, but the dream repeated itself enough times to make him doubt our love. From that day on, we've had a very open relationship with our son and we know almost everything that happens in his life."
"To hear you tell this to me explains his dominating behavior and the need to be in control," Bella explained. "He's always been considerate but at the same time, his need, his meanings are more important than anything else."
"He's always been strong headed and strong minded, which also leaves him a little daft. And it's the reason why he's still single, at least in my eyes. I prayed early for him to meet a nice girl and give me a lot of grandchildren, but when he turned thirty and still only dated girls who went to college, I kind of gave up on him. Then he met you." Esme's eyes strained on Bella and she found herself unable to meet the other woman's gaze for long. "At first, when I learned you were straight out of college, I was a little disappointed. I didn't see a change in him, not the change I so desperately needed to see. Not until you left for San Francisco. Then I saw it and I saw that you made him a better person, a more centered person who didn't push everyone away. He missed you while you were gone and don't ask me how I know it, but I know Edward didn't have sex with anyone for those four months you were away. As all men, he will of course deny it if you ask him, but he did in fact miss you while you were gone and he would still be missing you if I hadn't pushed him to go after you."
"You're the reason he suddenly turned up?"
"I never expect my son to love anyone, I know he struggles to just tell us, his parents, but I know he cares for you and that he missed you, so yes, I sent him to get you back to Boston."
"Wow," Bella whispered, not sure if she was believing Esme or not.
*** C R S ***
"Your mom came by today," Bella informed Edward as he came home a lot later that day.
"That's nice," was all he said as he placed his briefcase by the door and tossed his keys, along with his phone, at the table by the shoe rack.
"She came by to talk a little," Bella continued as she set the table for dinner, Emmett and Rose on their way over to enjoy homemade pizza with Edward and her. "She told me thing about you, personal things I've promised to never share with anyone else, but still personal things that have made me understand you a little better."
"What kind of personal matters has my mom discussed with you?" Edward asked with narrowed eyes.
"I think you know and just so you know, I don't feel the need to share the knowledge I have about you. But I have a question for you and I want you to answer me 100% honestly."
"Shoot!" Edward tossed back at her as he opened a beer, looking grim after Bella's confession of having new knowledge about him.
"Tanya, my doctor, and your daughters doctor at the time, is she the same Tanya broke your heart two times while you were young?"
The silence that stretched between them was more than enough answer for Bella, and she knew that she had no right to be angry at him for not telling him: it was a part of his past that he didn't feel like sharing, with anyone.
"She is the same Tanya, yes. When I first met her, during the sonogram, I didn't recognize her at all, but there was something about her name, so I looked her up on the internet: she was the same girl I fell in love with, twice, and the same girl who broke my heart twice. Since she broke up with me the second time, she has married and then later divorced the same man after catching him cheating on her, using her money to woo his mistress." Edward looked as if nothing could bore him more than answering Bella's question and a sudden urge to throw something at him swelled inside of Bella.
"Did you plan on sharing it with me at some point?" Bella asked as she brushed past him into the kitchen to check on the pizza she had in the oven.
"No, I didn't."
"Why not?" Bella demanded to know as she looked back up at him, "Because I'm nothing but a safe womb for your daughter to grow in? Because we don't have a relationship?"
"Because it's simply none of your business if I've dated Tanya or not. She's your doctor, yes, and I knew her once, yes, but that doesn't give you the right to demand any knowledge about her from me like you're doing right now."
"I wasn't planning on digging up dirt on her," Bella frowned. "I don't care what she did when she was young. She could have been doing drugs or been an alcoholic for all I care: she's been nothing but professional, helpful and caring about my pregnancy. She's a good doctor and I would like to keep having her as my daughter, something I can't if the two of you suddenly decided to look back at the old times you shared together."
"If she asks me out for a coffee or beer to talk about the time when we knew each other, I'm not allowed to take her up on her offer? Neither am I allowed to ask her the same thing, out for a coffee or such?"
"I don't want to be the nagging bitch whale of a pregnant woman, but neither do I want to be the one who have a personal relationship with her doctor because the doctor is dating my baby's dad, so yes, I'm telling you to stay away from her."
"So this is what it would be like being in a relationship with you?" Edward asked, taking another swig of his beer. "By learning this, would you have changed Tanya for another doctor, but not before checking if the doctor knew me?"
"If we were in a relationship, I would go territorial, have you come with me in for every appointment to dot on me, rub my big pregnant belly in her face to tell her that you're mine. Even during the birth would be a territorial moment for me. Then, with the baby out, I would change her for someone else." Bella's confession brought a small smile to Edward's lips. "Go out for a coffee, a beer, a drink, I don't care what the two of you do if you decide to catch up. I just don't want to have it rubbed in my face by having her talk and ask questions about you during appointments, or to have to see her walk around half naked in the apartment after sex."
"From what I found out today about her, her divorce was just finalized. I don't know what it's like for women, but if it was me, I would like some time to be alone and be just me before dating and having sex again."
"You don't date," Bella couldn't help but point it out.
"Ok, I would have liked some time to gather myself before persuading the first girl in the first bar to let me fuck her up against the wall in a dark corner."
"There's the Edward I know!" Bella smiled and Edward laughed at her ridiculousness.
Sorry for such a short chapter but I believe I've written what I can for this chapter.
Friday 29th of May, chapter 16 will be published.