Author's Note: I've now finished the story, so I'm going to post all of them in one go. Don't hate me! Love you all x

Love Lessons

"Hello, Captain Jack Harkness speaking?"

"Um, it's Clara?"

Clara had somehow managed to get Jack's number after their crazy night a few weeks ago, and realised he would be the one to call in such a situation.

"Clara, my love! What's the Doctor done?"

"At present, nothing. But... I need your advice."

"Finally someone sees me for my true potential! Alright, lovely, what is it?"

"Well, me and the Doctor have... feelings for each other. Brut as we're such good friends, we don't know whether a full on relationship would be a good idea."

Clara had never said that aloud to anyone before, not even the Doctor. And now she had Jack telling her what to do. Holy jesus.

"Okay, honey, let me start by thanking you."

"What?" Clara shrieked

"Oh me and Amy had a bet on. She said you'd never admit it to each other, I said you would. So, I get a tenner! Okay, now for advice. You two are basically a couple anyway, he kisses you on the forehead like all the goddamn time, so there. But, I get your point, it was the same for me and Ianto. Thing is, you only get one shot at life, live it! If you like the Doctor, bloody let him know and have a great time instead of moping around." Jack started shouting down the phone, whilst Clara laughed.

"Did you just base a whole speech on YOLO?" Clara stammered inbetween fits of laughter.

"Oh, did you want a speech or not?" He said, with a degree of sass only he possessed.

"Okay, okay, fine, you were saying?" She said.

"I was saying you should take the chances you can. Like me, I took the chance to be bisexual and a sassy fierce girl-like man. You, my dear, should take the Doctor. I mean, it's not as though he's a horrible person, that is an attribute he does not get from me, and honestly honey he isn't that bad looking if I say so myself..."

"Oi, Harkness, you got a boyfriend, back off."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I won't flatter myself. But, come on lovely, what the hell is the point of being friends if you can't get it on at some point?"

"Just you, Jack. Really just you." Clara groaned.

"Aha, you wish." Harkness jeered, hoping Clara got his subtle hint.

And she did. And it sent a shiver down her spine.

"Warning you, Jackie, back off or you'll see what a little girl from up North can do." She threatened.

"Again, whatever. Now, my advice on how to break this to him; Takeaway pizza, pepperoni preferably, though he is partial to meat feast, I would know-"

Jack really was a walking innuendo. Oh, so much fun.

"He hates crusts," Jack continued, "But add excessive cheese, he's a weirdo. Get a hell of a load of blankets and cushions, big comfy sofa and loads of romantic movies. I recommemd 'The Notebook' or one of my home videos-"

"Um, I'll pass on that." Clara shuddered thinking about it.

"Your loss," He cackled, "But, seriously, I know the Doctor better than anyone. Don't do this at his flat. His work will be around him and he might get distracted. Has he ever been to your flat?" Jack asked sincerely, changing personality very quickly.

"Is no a good answer?" Clara muttered.

"Depends on what you think of the Doctor. Just, make him feel at home. Don't do things he isn't accustomed to, he can go a bit nuts. One time, we went on holiday to Andorra and he threatened two bodyguards, who were massive."

"You'd know!" Clara muttered, covering with a cough, making Jack tutt at her, though not denying the statement.

"I would indeed. Honestly, he tried. And he actually pulled it off, he is scarily good at threatening, I don't know if I should be worried. Please, Clara, take my advice, I don't want his heart to break like it did with River." Jack drifted off, whilst Clara was guiltily intrugued.

"River?" She asked quietly, hoping for an answer.

"Look, I shouldn't be the one to tell you this, but River Song was his ex, they were engaged, and she was arrested the night before they got married. They both loved each other, and knew they couldn't have a relationship through a prison. She doesn't even know why she got arrested, she doesn't remember what she allegedly did, it was awful. He still visits her, though, he still cares, but it broke him, deep down. He's not the same, but if he's fallen for you then he's getting better, and that can only be a good thing."

Clara was shocked by the Doctor's story. She just wanted to find him and give him the biggest, best hug a little person like her could give, but she couldn't risk letting the Doctor find out she knew about River, it could ruin them, and Jack as well. But she didn't blame him, she didn't even pity him. She pitied River, who clearly had loved him, and knew she had to let him go. It's the worst thing any person will ever have to do, because it breaks your heart to break theirs. Clara wished it had been like that with Danny, how long ago that seemed, but she knew that that wasn't the case, Danny was just trying to hurt her.

"Look, Clara, this is a lot to take in, but the Doctor's a good man. And you love him, and that's all that matters. Now go snog his face off and do whatever the hell fun teachers do when not marking!" Jack joked, making Clara laugh.

"Are you suggesting marking student's papers isn't fun? Some people are so bad it is actually quite funny, shouldn't have said that, call me a rebel." She went along with it, leading to a long conversation about the joys of marking, before Clara finally cut off the call to prepare for the Doctor.

"Right then, Oswald," Clara said to herself, "Let's get this boy."