"You're my first friend here," she said. "So, tell me a little about yourself. What do you do when CLU doesn't have you babysitting Users?"
Rinzler leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. "I do not know what babysitting is…" he told her.
"It is when you have to watch over and care for something; like a baby."
"Yes, but…what is a baby?" The term sounded familiar; teasing faint memory traces that led to the partition in his code.
"It's a very small and young User. Babies are unable to care for themselves, and have to have someone else protect them and see that their needs are met," she told him.
He made a non-committal sound and gave a short nod of understanding at the explanation. "I am a security program. I used to be the head security monitor for the Grid. Now, my main functions are to protect CLU, fight in the Games, and enforce his orders. If none of the other security programs—such as the BlackGuard—can handle a situation, then I am still called out to do security monitoring functions."
"Do you like being a security program?" she asked him curiously.
"I did," he replied honestly. "I enjoyed knowing that I was keeping the system and its programs safe. At that time, I rarely had to derezz anything other than gridbugs, viruses, and worms…things such as those. I was doing what my User programmed me to do. Now, most millicycles I wish that I did not have all of my coding. Then I would not have the ability to obey some of CLU's orders."
The room was quiet, the faint rumble of his growl—a sound that was almost a vibration to be felt, rather than heard—the only sound for some time.
"I have been wondering," she said, breaking the near silence, "I thought you were going to kill me in the arena. Instead, you stopped…and called me a User. Were you really going to kill me?" she asked, looking at her hands as they lay in her lap.
"I was," he said. "I stopped because I realized that you were a User. My current programming gives my primary objectives as I fight for CLU. Once, however, they were different. Once, my primary directive was I fight for the Users. I have to follow CLU's orders," he continued, "however, if they are not precise enough, I can find loopholes. In your case, it was the fact that I am programmed to derezz the losing program in the Games arena. I do not have any orders stating to derezz Users. Probably because you are the only one to end up in the arena since CLU came to power. In fact, you are the only one to enter the Grid since that time," he told her.
"But how did you know I was a User?" she asked intently, looking up at him as she did so. "No one else knew until after you did.…"
Rinzler sighed. "It was your face."
"My face?" She now felt more confused by his answer than she had before hearing it, at that moment.
"You had blood on your face. Programs do not bleed. We don't have blood. Only Users have blood, so only Users bleed."
"But how did you know that Users bleed?" she persisted. The rumble of his growl grew slightly louder at her question.
In a low, gruff voice he said, "I used to know a User once…he was my friend. He was injured in a gridbug attack when the Grid was still new. It worried me when an unknown red liquid came out of him. He told me it was called 'blood'; and that Users had to have it to function. He also warned me that if something happened to cause a User to lose too much of it…they would cease to function."
"You were friends with another User?" she said, surprise evident in her voice.
Rinzler shifted uncomfortably where he leaned against the wall. Turning his head, he appeared to be looking away. A few moments went by in silence before he spoke again.
"It was a long time ago; before CLU came to power," he said quietly, the words so soft she could barely hear them. "I would rather not think about it now." The low growling noise continued to rumble in the air.
She thought for a moment. CLU had said that the other Users did not leave the Grid. His friend must be one of those friends Rinzler had that died, she realized. No wonder he didn't want to think about it now. She went back to her original question.
"Would any other program have realized that I had blood on my face; or what that meant?" she asked him.
"I do not believe so," he told her, his voice thoughtful. "I was the only program there when he was injured."
"Then it was a good thing for me that you DO have all of your security programming. If there had been another program there instead, they probably would have killed me."
Rinzler's helmet turned back to face as she sat on the bed. Tilting his head a little in her direction in what she could only guess was a thoughtful or curious look he said, "You might be right."
She shifted a bit on the bed, which felt like a slab of foam under her, feeling self-conscious about what she was about to ask him. Nervously fidgeting a bit more, she gave a long sigh.
"Um, Rinzler?" There was the tiniest movement of the figure leaning against the wall; just enough to let her know that he had acknowledged hearing her. "Since you have known a User before, maybe you can answer something for me…?"
Curious as to what she was going to ask, he waited to hear her question. He could see her squirming a little on the bed, although he had no idea why. Finally, the User spoke.
"Why don't I have to go to the bathroom?" she blurted out, looking embarrassed.
Puzzled, Rinzler tried to understand her question; however, he had no context for the query to help him search available memories. "What is a 'bathroom'?" he asked her. "And why would you have to go to one?"
The User's face reddened slightly at his questions.
"Okay. Umm, I haven't eaten since I came to the Grid. I just drank that blue stuff you gave me. So, I'm guessing that is what gives you energy here on the Grid. Am I right?" she asked.
"I gave you energy," he told her, still confused.
"Right. Okay…Users in my world eat and drink—or intake solids and liquids—that our bodies have to process to give us energy."
"That sounds very inefficient," he said. "You still have not explained what a 'bathroom' is."
"We're getting to that point," she said, her face reddening even more. "Users eat and drink to get energy. Not everything that we eat and drink is processed into energy, though. And many of our body's functions are meant to remove toxic by-products. So these by-products are waste, and have to be removed to keep us functioning properly."
Curious, Rinzler looked at her. "How do you remove them?" he inquired. "Can you show me?"
"Uh, no. I really hope not." Still feeling incredibly embarrassed, but determined to get an answer, she continued. You can do this, she thought to herself, feeling the heat in her face. Just think of it as a speech for your old biology class in college. Just the facts, ma'am.
"We excrete them in a few different ways," she told him. "We exhale gases when we are breathing. We remove some of it by sweating—we excrete small drops of liquid from our skin. Large amounts are excreted by other parts of the body as liquids or solids usually this is done privately because it is messy and often smells bad and we call the room that we do this in the bathroom and the process is often called 'going to the bathroom'." She said the last in a rush, trying to get it out before she began stammering from embarrassment.
Rinzler shook his head. "That sounds extremely inefficient. We have more useful energy processing in the system. Here, energy is drunk. I suppose it could be coded to be solid, but why bother? There are no 'by-products' of it; it is utilized completely. I have a runtime that exceeds this system's and I have never heard of a program needing to excrete anything…."
She let out a breath. "So, I'm not going to end up having a problem later when I can't get this suit off. Makes sense. Thank God for that…"she muttered under her breath. "So," she said her voice a little louder. "As long as I drink some of that blue stuff, I have all the energy I need for the day?"
'Day' must refer to some User-style measurement of time. "Maybe," he told her, shrugging his shoulders. "You would need more if your energy requirements went up."
"And if I drink more than I need for that day?" she inquired. "What happens then?"
"I don't know how a User would process an excess of energy. A program would most likely become overcharged; and could either end up in a good mood and a surplus saved for other functions, or acting dangerously erratic."
"Mmhhhh, so…either I would store it like fat reserves, or it's kind of like getting drunk. I'll try to be careful about that." She looked at him again. "How about you tell me more about you, and this place; and I'll tell you about me and my life before here?"
The conversation continued on for most of the millicycle. The User would ask Rinzler for information about life on the Grid; and told him about herself and her previous life in the User world. By unspoken agreement, she did not ask him more personal questions; and after being told that she didn't want to say her User name out loud so that CLU would not find out what it was, he did not ask too-personal questions of her.
She was interested in everything about her new world. Rinzler was both fascinated and baffled by the world of Users. Nothing—he declared at one point—made any sense. It was too illogical.
She was trying to explain User humor to him when he suddenly held out a hand as if to stop her and cocked his head toward the door. "CLU is coming this way" he told her.
"How can you tell?" she asked wonderingly.
Rinzler turned his head to look at her. "I am the best security program on the grid," he said mildly. "Do not let CLU know that we have been talking, or that we might be friends," he warned.
"No problem," she said. She flopped down on her back and stretched out over the bed. Scooting around a little on the bed, she let her head hand over the edge of the bed. While she could look over at the door, it also looked as though she had been lying there bored. Rinzler turned his back on her and went to look out of the window. His whole attitude was one of apparent boredom with the contents of the room; and mild interest in the street and programs below. A few moments later, the door slid open to admit CLU.
She tilted her head back off of the end of the bed to get a better look at the system's administrator as he entered the room.
"Well," she said. "If it isn't you. Come to have another little chat with me? Since our last one obviously went so well. Feel free. Your guy over there isn't much of a talker, after all." She motioned towards Rinzler with a wave of her hand. "Unless you want to count the growling. Oh, and he did snarl at me at one point. But otherwise…." She shrugged, unconcerned.
"No, Rinzler does not talk. And yet, he always manages to get his point across. Since his point is whatever I want it to be, I think that it works out well," CLU said, smirking at her. "You; however, are a different issue. I have been trying to decide what to do with you. I cannot have it known that a User is on the Grid. That would lead to chaos; and that is simply unacceptable. So you will become a program. I will give you a designation to go by; and believe me, you do not want to go against me and tell others that you are a User. You really would not like the reaction that other programs would have if they learned that fact."
She gave CLU a look that plainly said she didn't think highly of him—or his plan. "And exactly how am I going to be passed off as a program? I haven't seen anyone who has white circuits on them like I do. Not to mention that I don't know my way around the Grid or anything about it. If programs do, and I don't, won't that lead to questions? And if I do learn how to get around later; how will that not lead to more questions? Programs don't learn completely new things a little at a time, do they? Isn't it all or nothing?" she asked, feeling both confused and wanting to wipe that confident smirk off of CLU's face.
"Oh, it is," CLU said, still smiling at her. "But for a new, adaptive program that was glitching so badly its circuits lit up like an ISO's; being able to access that information in disjointed sections will be understandable. And don't worry; you will be able to stay close enough to the system admin program to deal with any severe 'glitches' in your processing."
She rolled over and sat up on the bed. Looking at CLU warily she said, "What do you mean, I'll be close enough?"
"You will stay near me at all times. I tell you to do something, you will do it. If asked, you want to be near me. You will be the only adaptive program on the Grid…and you will be mine."
She glared at him angrily. "You mean I'll be some sort of pet," she snapped, irritation evident in her voice. "One, I'm not a program. Two, I'm not anybody's 'pet' anything. No, I don't think that plan is going to work for you."
"I think it will," CLU told her, drawing closer to where she sat on the bed. "You will make a lovely pet, too." He reached out his hand to touch her face. "In fact, I think I will call you 'Kitten'. That is a User pet type, is it not?"
CLU drew his hand back, hissing in pain. She had gone from glaring angrily at him to suddenly snapping her head forward and biting his hand as it neared her face. Small pixels fell glittering like cut glass beads from the bite she had given him. He looked at his hand, hiding his surprise at what had happened. Even his memory files from his User had not led him to expect that.
CLU looked back at the User, trying to control his anger. "I think you need a little taming still," he said. "You seem to be a bit feral for my new pet. Hmm, yes, Feral seems to suit you much better."
"Rinzler," CLU called over his shoulder. "Get her disc for me."
Rinzler stepped forward from where he had been standing near the wall. He had been waiting to see if CLU would give him an order since the administrator program's arrival. Going to where the User sat on the bed, he removed her disc and gave it to CLU with his customary short bow of his head. Stepping to the side, he appeared to be waiting patiently for CLU to give him the next order.
She scooted further back until she was sitting at the head of the bed. "Not going to do you any good," she said grumpily; leaning back against the wall with a 'thump' and crossing her arms over her chest. "User, remember? I don't have any programming that you can change."
CLU merely glanced up at her for a moment and went back to accessing her disc. He seemed to be ignoring her completely. Every so often he would look thoughtful and then do something with her disc. She wished that she had some idea of what he was up to. The women before the arena had said something about memories being stored on the disc. She desperately hoped that he was not looking through them now. If he did, CLU would find out about her offer of friendship and conversations with Rinzler. She began to loudly mutter about 'stupid programs messing with things that they couldn't change'. If she distracted him enough, he might not bother trying to access her memories.
CLU suddenly smiled brightly and snapped his fingers. Beckoning Rinzler over, he gave him her disc. "Put this where it belongs," he said to the security program.
Rinzler took the disc in his hands, giving CLU another slight bow of the head as he did so. Walking back to the bed, he took her shoulder and used it to pull her away from the wall. Once her disc dock was accessible, he put her disc in place. A shock went through her as it connected and synced up with her. "Ow," she said, loudly. "What was that about?"
"You may be right about not being able to program a User," CLU told her, his voice smug, "but your circuits and clothing are from the Grid. Those I CAN reprogram. Do not worry; I am sure you will look just fine in orange."
"So I'll match 'Tall, silent, and threatening' over there?" she asked, pointing in Rinzler's direction. "Not really my favorite color. Don't you have blue or green?" she said derisively.
"Not blue," CLU said sharply. "I will make sure that you will never have blue circuits."
"What do you have against blu—" her voice broke off sharply as she yelped. The lines on her suit; the 'circuits' had suddenly heated to burning hot. The white blazed so bright that it blotted out her vision, and then started to fade. She looked at her darkened suit in confusion. A feeble glow began to show on her suit where her 'circuits' had been. She held out her hands in front of her to see it better. The glow steadily grew stronger until they stood out against the black of her suit. And they were the same unmistakable red-orange as Rinzler's.
CLU strode over to where she sat looking unhappily at her new orange circuits. "Let me see how well this worked," he said, reaching out to look at the pendant on her collar necklace. "Yes, that looks much better."
Her gaze dropped to follow his and she realized that even the collar and the pendant that CLU was holding now glowed orange as well.
"What did you do to me?" she shrieked; glowering angrily at CLU.
"I made a few improvements," he told her smugly. "Now you can wear you designation like a proper pet. Is that not what Users do so that if their pet is ever lost, it can be easily returned? Much better than that foolishness that you used to wear on it." With that said he released his hold on the pendant and turned away. He started to walk towards the door, motioning for Rinzler to follow him as he walked. "Rinzler will be returning to his regular duties, so you will not have to worry about his growl. Get some rest, 'program'. Your new runtime on the Grid will begin soon."
CLU stopped and looked over at her from the doorway, his hand on the door frame. "Oh, and it seems I was right. You do look just fine in orange." With that said, he turned away and left; the door closing behind him.
A/N-Hello, Gentle Readers,
This was originally written to be a much longer chapter; however, in typing it up, I noticed something.
It stank.
More than half of it was pointless and only dragged at the storyline; so I cut out the dead weight, chucked it out the window, and filled in the needed areas with something that was hopefully worth the time you spent reading it.
Thanks for sticking around so far. I know that this isn't my best work; however, I hope you find that it improves as time and the story go on. Most of this storyline was written long before 'Silent Partner' and 'Finding the Lost'; and I had not planned on ever posting it. My thanks to those my awesome and amazing friends and beta's who pushed for me to do so.
Feral has not been having an easy time of it on the Grid (those of you who have already read 'Silent Partner' or 'Finding the Lost' may have noticed that I tend to put characters and OCs through the wringer) and while-just as in life-there will be moments that make you smile and hopefully even laugh; there will be...other moments. The ones were you may want to hit me for what I do to them.
Please consider this your advance warning. It will get very dark at times. There will be triggers for some people. Bad things will happen. If this is not your cup of tea, you may wish to set this story aside and read on of the other extremely well-written stories available on . If you want to keep reading, and find that it bothers you; review, comment, or PM me. I'm willing to discuss the work; however, I am not giving it up.