A/N-No one said that training with Rinzler would be easy; however, it sometimes comes with unexpected results...
"...I'm still not good enough to make it to the top level of the games. If CLU lets someone goad him into making me fight soon, I won't make it..."
Rinzler straightened and said—in a firmer, more determined—voice, "Come on. We will continue with your training. You will learn as much as you can, and as fast as you can. Every lesson will help..."
Rinzler had not exaggerated how difficult the training would be. He began by showing Feral a map of the Grid sectors that they had patrolled previously. When he was convinced that she could name and locate all of the sectors and the major areas of each, he told her that she would learn more later on patrols. Rinzler then took her to the small training arena on the same floor as their quarters.
'I do not want other programs watching you train at this point,' he had told her when she questioned why they did not go to the larger arena like most of the trainees. 'It is safer if they do not know what your limits are at this point.'
'How would they know?' Feral asked him. 'I don't know what they are yet.'
'Perhaps not,' he replied. 'However, you are about to find out…'
He had then begun training her for disc wars. Long before Rinzler let her rest at all, Feral was panting for breath and aching painfully in every muscle.
"Can I just take a short break?" she asked wistfully at one point.
Rinzler had shaken his head. 'No. Now is when you need to push yourself harder,' he had explained. 'Your enemies will never let you rest because you are tired.' And push her harder he had.
Later in each microcycle, Rinzler would take her out to do patrols with him—aching muscles and all. Each time it became a little easier for her to keep up.
Occasionally, CLU would order her to join him when he went somewhere. Sometimes, he wanted her to stand there quietly while he was in a meeting. Other times, he wanted her to follow him as he made a show of attending the games. The knowledge that CLU was showing her off to the Grid like a well-trained pet chafed her. Feral had quickly learned that her refusal to follow CLU's orders had been well known by the programs on the Grid. Apparently, some of them had even had bets going in a few of the entertainment clubs. And now, CLU was using her to show the rebels that fighting was useless; that eventually, even she had stopped fighting. It burned her to follow CLU's orders; however, she would not risk him punishing her with another circuit overload again.
Feral had not told Rinzler about the memories and nightmares that the punishment had unearthed inside of her. Rinzler was aware of the nightmares. More than once, he had been awakened by her crying out in her sleep. Each time, he had woken her. He would wait for her to calm; reminding her that they were alone, and that she was safe. He never mentioned them later. Rinzler had his own nightmares that he fought. Feral never mentioned them afterward, either.
"Don't you do anything else besides hand-to-hand?" Feral asked Rinzler one day during a training session. She was panting as she tried to catch her breath. "I mean, I've seen the arena. There's a huge area that I've never seen used before. They don't seriously hold disc wars there, do they?"
Rinzler shook his head. 'No, it is not for disc wars,' he signed, standing easily.
Feral looked up at him, trying to squash the slight twinge of annoyance that she felt when she saw that he wasn't even breathing faster. He looks like he hasn't done anything more exerting than walking across an empty room, she thought to herself. At this rate, she would be too old and grey to use the skills she was learning before she could keep up with Rinzler. "Then what…" she paused, trying to slow her breathing enough to talk, "…what do you do there?"
'Disc wars are one of the two games that CLU plans to have you compete in. When you are good enough at this portion of your training,' Rinzler signed, 'I will show you.'
She straightened up and took a deep breath. Taking the initiative, Feral attacked Rinzler, trying to drive him back.
Feral heard him give a small chuckle at her renewed enthusiasm. The sound made her grin. She treasured hearing anything that sounded like a laugh from the stoic security program. Dealing with CLU tended to make one less relaxed and light-hearted.
And Rinzler had been forced to obey CLU for hundreds of cycles.
Feral watched as Rinzler demonstrated a new maneuver. He went through the steps in slow-motion, giving her time to see and understand how each step led to the next.
After the third time that she showed no improvement when she went through the motions of the maneuver herself, he straightened up with an irritated growl.
"What is distracting you?" he asked her bluntly, as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You are not focusing on what you are doing."
Feral looked at him guiltily. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'll do better this time."
"No, you will not," Rinzler said, flatly. "You are running some other process in your head, and it will get you killed if it happens when you are dealing with a real opponent. I will not let you continue until you tell me what the problem is."
Now it was Feral's turn to be irritated. Rinzler was as good as his word. If he said that he would not let her continue, she would not get a chance to practice anything. She leaned back, slumping against the wall behind her. Shifting her gaze to the side, Feral mumbled something.
"If you are going to say something so that I cannot hear it; at least have the courtesy to sign it," he told her, exasperation tinging his rough voice.
"I said, 'It's CLU'…" she said in a louder, clearer voice. She instantly had Rinzler's full attention.
"What about CLU?" he asked. Feral could hear the concern in Rinzler's voice. It made her want to smile. Her friend, the most dangerous program on the Grid; and the thing that he worried about the most was her. No one—not even CLU—would believe it if they saw it.
"He was bragging in a meeting to one of the other programs about how he has you training me for the Games. He told them that soon, he would have two Grid champions." She drew in her breath, and continued. "Rinzler, you've been training me for what feels like almost three years; and I'm still not good enough to make it to the top level of the games. If CLU lets someone goad him into making me fight soon, I won't make it at this rate. I need to learn more, faster." There was only the small trace of fear evident in her voice at the thought, but her frustration was evident. She sighed and let her head fall back against the wall with a 'thump'.
"I don't know what to do about it. I don't know of a way to learn faster than I already am; and I'm not about to go beg CLU to stop talking about it."
Rinzler shook his head. "I do not know what to do, either," he admitted. "If you really were a program, we could try to get you some new code, or upgraded combat subroutines. A User, however…I just do not know…." Uncertainty colored his voice.
Rinzler straightened and said—in a firmer, more determined—voice, "Come on. We will continue with your training. You will learn as much as you can, and as fast as you can. Every lesson will help keep you functioning." He took a few steps so that he stood before her and extended his hand. Feral looked at his hand for a moment, and then reached out to take it. Rinzler helped her to pull herself upright.
"You're right," she said. "Whatever I can learn will have to be enough. Let's go over that move one more time. This time, I WILL get it down."
They went out on patrol later that night. At least, Feral insisted on calling every third millicycle 'night'. She also called the other millicycles 'day'. While Rinzler did not feel that this was accurate, he had heard the term so many times now that he did not ever have to think about her meaning when she used them.
They were patrolling the section of the city where the Recognizers were kept and maintained. There was very little activity in the area most nights. With no other programs around to observe them, Rinzler would randomly snap out the name of a fighting or blocking maneuver to Feral. If she was paying attention and performed it correctly, she found herself successfully blocking a strike or other form of attack from him. If she did not, well, she was going to have more than one bruise tomorrow, she thought, ruefully.
'Every blow is a lesson,' Rinzler told her, the circuits on his hands allowing her to see him clearly as he signed to her. 'Every block is a test you have passed. Pay more attention, Feral. I might not give you any warning for the next one.'
She had just drawn back—breath hissing through her teeth at the pain—from a tender area left from an unsuccessful block.
"Yeah, I know…pain is just weakness leaving the body," she grumbled at him; remembering an old saying a friend had once told her.
Rinzler cocked his head at her. 'Is that how it processes for Users?' he signed, curious. 'I have never heard of it doing so for a program before….'
Feral shook her head. "No, it's just a saying," she told him. "Users sometimes say it to—"
A small crash as something fell in the darkness nearby interrupted her. They both turned rapidly towards the sound; trying to identify the source. Had someone overheard them?
"There had better not be someone spying on me," Feral all but snarled out; angry at the thought of CLU possibly having sent a guard to spy on her.
A small flash of light and a 'no' came from the same area as the previous crash. Next to her, Rinzler relaxed as most of the tension left him.
'It is just a bit,' he signed. 'Probably a stray one, since it is out here.' "You are alone, are you not?" he asked the bit aloud.
"Yes." The bit changed shape as it answered. The bit floated a little closer. It was a small polygon sphere that appeared to be made up of light, floating in the air.
"What is it?" Feral asked Rinzler, entranced. She could not take her eyes off of it, tilting her head up to try to get a better look. She took a small step closer to it. Feral gazed raptly at it, obviously curious.
"It is a bit," Rinzler told her. "Some programs keep them as companions, like a User pet."
"So it's like a very small program?" she said, not taking her eyes off of the bit as it floated and spun slowly.
"No, it is a bit of information. It is not as big as a program. It does not even have enough information to be a byte."'
"Does it say anything else, besides 'yes' and 'no'?"
"No."
"No."
Feral gave a small laugh as the bit and Rinzler both answered her at the same time.
"They have only two possible states…" he told her, "…they can be 'on' or 'off'. It is why they only say 'yes' or 'no'."
Feral addressed her next question to the bit. "Are you alone out here?"
"Yes."
"I thought you said that programs keep them as companions and pets," she asked Rinzler over her shoulder.
"They do. There are wild ones, living in the Outlands; but most of the bits you find on the Grid belong to a program."
"Are you lost?" Feral asked the bit, starting to feel concerned.
"No."
"Is your program lost, then?"
"No."
"You do have a program, don't you?"
"No. Yes. No."
She frowned slightly at this answer. "What does that mean?" she asked Rinzler.
"It can be hard to tell with a bit," he said. "Think of it as a guessing game."
Turning her attention back to the bit, she tried again.
"Do you belong to a program now?"
"No."
"Did you belong to a program before?"
"Yes."
"What happened that it doesn't have a program anymore?Do programs just…abandon them; or what?" she asked Rinzler, feeling confused.
He took a step closer to her in the alleyway, shaking his head as he did so. "Usually when you find a bit like this, its program has been rectified…or derezzed. If no one finds it and takes it in soon, they become strays."
"The poor thing!" Feral exclaimed, pity in her voice as she turned her attention back to the bit. "Come here little guy; I won't hurt you," she crooned to the bit, holding her hand out towards it and raising it slowly.
"Be careful," Rinzler warned. "If it feels threatened it can…."
"Ah-ow!" she said, pulling her hand back and shaking her fingers.
"….shock you," finished Rinzler. "You should just leave the bit alone. Maybe it will find enough energy soon if you do."
"What do you mean 'find enough energy'?" she asked, rubbing her shocked fingers against her leg as she watched the bit—albeit with a slightly warier expression now.
"It expended some of its energy to shock you; and it looks like it did not have that much to begin with. If it stays here instead of finding energy, it will go into a forced shut-down and crash," he explained.
The bit did look dimmer, she realized.
"There is not a lot of energy that can be accessed easily around here," Feral said. "What happens if it leaves and still doesn't find any energy? Or if it just doesn't find enough? It will still shut-down or crash, right?" she asked, looking back at where Rinzler stood.
"Most likely," he told her. "Why?"
Feral looked down for a moment. She appeared to be thinking. She shook her head and looked up, a determined look on her face.
"Not going to happen," she said.
"Feral," Rinzler asked. "Exactly what are you planning?"
She ignored the question as she poured a small amount of energy from the vial that she always carried into the cupped palm of her hand. Holding her hand out and up, she began to try coaxing the bit once more.
"It's okay. I won't hurt you," she coaxed. "I'm sorry if I scared you earlier. Come get some energy."
"If you feed it, it will try to make you its new program," Rinzler said warningly. "If you aren't going to be able to take care of it, then you need to pour that energy somewhere for it…and leave. Now."
"If I do, this little guy might not make it through the cycle," Feral replied, never taking her eyes off of the bit.
Standing behind her, Rinzler shook his head.
"I do not like it, either," he said in a resigned voice. "However, that is the way it is, sometimes. You have to accept—"
"No, I don't," she said, turning and practically hissing the words at him. She looked at Rinzler through slightly narrowed eyes. "What are the odds that CLU being in control led to a program-less bit?" She looked very much like she was living up to her name at the moment. "No one has to risk derezzing tonight. Not even a bit. I can take care of it." Her voice and eyes softened as she continued. "We both know what it feels like to be alone. I can change that for this bit, at least."
Rinzler shook his head again and sighed. "Feral, please…" he said in a quiet voice, his growl soft. "Just leave the bit alone. It is not a good idea to try and take it with you." His voice was both resigned and sad as he spoke. "I know you want to help; however it is not safe for you or the bit. To have something that you care about around CLU…." Rinzler's voice trailed off as he looked away. He started to walk back to the Recognizer.
Feral stood in the alleyway, the bit almost forgotten; a stricken look on her face.
She turned her attention back to the bit. "He's right," she told the bit. "It isn't safe to be around me."
"Here," she said, pouring the rest of the energy out into a small puddle. "You drink all that you can; and find yourself another program. One that can take care of you. You don't want to make me your program."
"Yes," the bit flashed.
"Good," she said, relaxing slightly. "You understand. Take care, little guy." Feral turned and started to walk away, back to Rinzler and the Recognizer that stood waiting nearby.
"No," the bit flashed, zipping in front of her to block her path.
"What? No! No, you need to find another program. Not me!"
The bit flashed "yes" as it bumped into her.
"No! Did you not hear him! It's not safe with me. Go find another program. A different program."
"No," flashed the bit, spikes appearing over its surface as it did so.
"Rinzler!" Feral called to him, panic in her voice. "I think it wants to follow me! I didn't feed it, I swear!"
The silhouetted form of Rinzler stood at the end of the alley, the lights of the Recognizer behind him. She could hear his resigned sigh as she stood there, the bit bumping insistently into her.
"I believe you. I know you would not," he replied. "However, it is too late now. The bit has decided that you are its program now. It will not want to leave."
"What do I do?" she asked, panic still coloring her voice.
"Bring it with you," came the answer. "But try to explain the situation to the bit, first. Maybe it will leave on its own if you do. Bits are stubborn, though; so do not expect it to change its mind."
Feral turned her attention back to the bit. "You heard what he said," she told the bit. "You know who CLU is, right?"
"Yes," flashed the bit, floating and revolving in front of her again.
"Well, we spend a lot of time around CLU. It's not a safe place to be. You could be hurt of derezzed. You need to stay here, were it is safer. Find a safer program to belong to…."
"No," came the spiky reply.
"Please," she asked, pleading now. "You'll be safer this way. Go find a different program. You don't want me for your program."
"Yes, yes, yes."
"Just bring the bit with you, Feral," she heard Rinzler call from the mouth of the alley. She looked over to where the enforcer was starting to walk away again. "We need to move on."
"Okay, little guy," Feral said. "I guess you are coming with me then. Just, if the big guy ever says that something isn't safe, and that you should go…do it, okay?"
"Yes. No."
"Best I'm going to get, I think," she muttered, half under her breath. She started walking out of the dark alley, the bit following her looking like a tiny star in the darkness.
A/N-Yep, Feral's been adopted by a bit. Hope you like him. You'll be seeing more of the bit in future chapters.
Song List for this chapter: '
Adagio for Strings' by Samuel Barber, performed by the BBC Orchestra
'Fight Club' by Tom Waits
'We Are Going To Be Friends' by The White Stripes