Chapter ▪ Five
Tris
I run down the stairs quickly, before Four will get up and leave his apartment. I've spend the last night with Eric once again and it would end up in a massive drama if he would see me coming out of his apartment. I don't feel as guilty as I probably should. Not anymore.
This morning was different and Eric was different, too. He didn't sleep with his back turned on me and he even smiled at me when I opened my eyes. His voice wasn't as rough as usual and it made me wishing I could stay. But it would have been too risky.
I enter the dormitory and everyone is awake already. Christina just came out of the shower. Her hair is still wet and the water drops from her hair-ends. She smiles at me and I do the same. "Morning. Where have you been, Tris?"
I don't know why she always seems to be interested in my location, but I can't be miffed about her being curious. Before I could say something I notice, that she got distracted. Her head turns into the direction Will is coming from. He is standing at his bed shirtless and that might have caught her attention. He is handsome and his body is well trained. It doesn't make him look like sixteen, he rather looks like twenty or twenty-one. Christina looks back at me and grins, before she continues putting her clothes on. Luckily it made her forgot her own question she asked me.
I took a quick shower and rushed back to the dormitory. Everyone's been gone aleardy, but Al sits on his bed, cupping his chin in his right hand. It looks like he is waiting for something to happen. He might have been waiting for me and I smile at him after I came in.
"I hope he will do it quickly." I hear him say quietly, yet loud enough for me to hear. I sit down on my bed to tie my shoes.
"Who?" I ask while I stand up and move to follow the others.
"Eric." he says. He didn't see how I rolled my eyes at him. Everyone is terrified by him. Everyone but me and it's not because of how differently he acts when we are alone. I never was afraid of him. Not even in the very beginning.
"I've never seen him killing anyone for making mistakes." I add while moving faster.
"That's because you never spend any time with him. I mean, we see him during the training and that's it. I bet he's capable of doing horrible things, Tris." If he would only know about how different he can be. If he would only know about the hours I've spent with him alone. But it is something I better keep to myself. His words let me think about what Eric might be capable of.
We reach the crowd of Dauntless initiants and I know, that we are three minutes too late. I'm too small to look over the heads of the others, but then I hear someone whispering my name. It's Christina. With her finger she points at the place next to her and I quickly start to move. This place is much better. I go on my tiptoes and I can finally see Eric. The initiants are gathered around him.
"You were right. He's going to take us to the fence." Christina whispers. We should rather listen to what Eric is explaining, but I turn my head to the side to talk to her instead.
"Yes. I told you I heard Four and Lauren talking about it." I say quietly with a smile.
"Hey, I believed you from the start, okay?" she laughs and I feel her thin fingers poking my ribs. It causes me to giggle, not paying any attention to Eric, who is looking at us now. His eyes jump quickly from me to Christina and he begins to frown at her. She just looks bushfully to the ground and I can literally see her heart beating faster and faster as Eric slowly comes closer, still looking at her.
"If you're not interested in this, then you are allowed to leave, Christina. You don't have to come with us." he stops right in front of her. For some reasons I don't dare a glance at him and I'm wondering why. "And with leaving I mean leaving forever."
Her eyes remain down on the ground as she nods and Eric turns around. From the corner of my eye I saw his head turning into my direction, but he didn't say anything. Then I hear the train coming and Eric gave us a sign to start running. He was the first one to jump on it. He must have done it a thousand times already. It looks so easy when he does it. Christina runs in front of me and jumps on. Eric grabs her arm roughly to help her up, then pushes her behind him once she has ground under her feet again. I never saw him helping anyone to jump on the train before.
I am the next one and I see him reaching out his hand to me. I wonder if he's going to be as rough as he was when he helped Christina. But he's not. While I jump on I grab his hand and he pulls me inside. Instead of pushing me, he just takes a step aside, still keeping his eyes on those who are running next to the train.
"Damn, this man's got a grib!" I hear Christina complaining as I stand next to her. She looks at her arm as if it would be a wounded puppy she just found on the streets and it makes me laugh. The rest of the train ride we don't talk much. Every now and then I see Eric taking a glance at the initiants, watching them — watching us, I mean. He turns around and our eyes meet, but before I could make an impression his eyes wander back to the spot they stayed on before.
I notice the train getting slower and we are finally there. With a quick gesture Eric leads us out of the train and near the fence, running up the stairs to have a better view. I see the fields on the other side and people, who are working on them. I know it's the Amity, but the distance is too big to recognize their faces.
"Look, Stiff." I suddenly hear a voice from right behind me and I wince a little. It's Peter. "This faction would have been way better for you. No, wait! Even there you would end up factionless, I guess."
I just ignore his words and the laughter of Molly and Drew, which followed after. I wanted to punch him in the face, but seeing me upset is exactly what he wants. I'm not going to let that happen.
I don't listen to what Eric is explaining, even though I should. Four told me about the jobs at Dauntless before, so it's nothing new to me anyway. Once again I let my eyes wander over the wide and golden fields and people. It's a peaceful image and for some reasons it makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm not weak. I can't let Peter do that. There must be a way to make him stop.
"Tris!" Without turning around I know, that it's Eric calling my name. After returning from the fence, we have our free time and I'm glad, that there will be no training today. Christina walks next to me and stops, turning around to see Eric and so do I. I'm not looking at her, but I can literally feel her eyes on me and how they stare.
"What does he want? You didn't do anything wrong, did you?" she whispers and I shake my head. He didn't call my name to tell me what I've been doing wrong or even to punish me. I know that. What I don't know is why he couldn't wait until Christina was gone. I already try to think about what to say later, when she asks me about it. Slowly Eric comes closer, not looking at me, but at her.
"I said Tris. Not Christina." he says aggressivly. I don't like it when he talks like that. Carefully she starts moving, her eyes switching from me to him and back, until she finally disappears behind the corner.
"What is it?" I turn around to see him again. Looking into his eyes, I'm not sure anymore if he really came for another reason, than punishing me. It's the exact same glance like before, when he looked at Christina, because we were giggling during his talk. I cross my arms and take a breath, feeling my cold hands on my body.
"I know you didn't listen to me when I was talking." he begins surprisingly calm. "I don't like it, when people don't pay any attention."
"Four already told me about —"
"I don't care about what Four told you already!" he interrupts me loudly. His suddenly harsh tone makes me take half a step back. "When I talk, you gonna listen! Is that clear?"
When he talks to me like this, I always need to remind myself, that he's still my leader. I keep on forgetting about his authority when we are alone, which isn't only my fault in my opinion. I feel my eyes filling up with tears, even though I don't want to cry. It makes me think back when I was little. When Mother used a harsh tone on me, because I was doing something forbidden, I always cried, even though I tried my best to hold back my tears. My eyes quickly move down to the ground. Again I don't want to let him see, what he is actually able to do with me. I don't want to give him the power to make me go weak. Not again.
I wonder what he is thinking now. Does he feel sorry when he makes me cry? Or does he even enjoy the view? I shake my head and want to say something, but I just wipe away my tears instead. When I look up at him again, his head is turned to the other side, his eyes remaining on a spot down on the ground. It looks like he's thinking about something.
Unexpectedly I raise my hand, my fingers touching the skin of his face. Softly I make him turn into my direction and I look into his obviously surprised eyes. I can see it. He didn't mean to talk to me like that. He might even regrets it, but I don't care anymore. Slowly I let the palm of my hand run down his cheek.
"Don't do that again, Eric." I say quietly, feeling another hot tear running down my face.
He leans down to press a kiss on my lips and I know, that this is some kind of an apology. Gently I press my hands against his chest as he pulls me a bit closer to him. The way he talked to me hurt me, but somehow he managed to make me giving in once again.
I hear footsteps coming from behind the corner and I pull away immediately. I turn around to see Four standing there with eyes wide open. His eyes jump from Eric back to me. I forgot, that one of my hands is still pressed against Eric's chest. I take a step back when I see him quickly coming closer to us.
"What did you do to her?" he shouts at Eric, pushing him roughly against the wall. My wet eyes and red cheeks probably told him, that Eric wanted to — I don't want to think about it any longer. Without hesitation I grab Four's shoulder, trying to pull him away, but he's too strong. I notice Eric clenching his fist and before I could say something, he punches Four into the face. Again I take a step back, raising my hand automatically to cover my mouth in shock.
The punch looked hard, but it wasn't hard enough to make Four fall down to the ground. With a growl his fist fastly moves up to Eric's stomach. I see the blood on Four's shirt, coming from his nose. There is no sense in fighting. I have never seen Four like this before and it makes me feel guilty. He stands up against Eric, against his own leader and he knows the consequences. He does it for me, because he loves me. Because he wants to protect me, making sure that nothing bad will happen to me. Just like he promised me.
Before one of them can attack, I jump between them, pressing against Eric's chest to hold him back. This time I am on Four's side. I don't know how else I could explain this situation to him and I just hope, that Eric will understand.
"It's enough! Stop!" I turn around to look into Four's eyes. He's out of breath, his eyes still wide open. I wrap my arms around his neck, hoping to calm him down a little, but I didn't dare to turn around and take a look at Eric. "It's okay Four. Nothing ha —"
"Don't you ever come near her again, Eric! I swear I'll cut you into pieces." he interrupts me. I hear Eric laughing quietly the way he usually does, while Four gently pushes me behind him and it makes me turn around. The blood in Eric's face tells me, that Four must have hit him into the face. I didn't see it.
"Careful, Four. Don't you forget who you are talking to." The smile in his face disappears as he turns his head to see me. He looks angry in a way he never looked at me before. I grab Four's arm, pulling him away from Eric. I don't know why, but my eyes remain on his for a while. I know exactly what this glance is supposed to mean. I'm going to regret it.
"Come on, Four. Let's go." I say before we leave Eric alone.
"Did he hurt you?"
"No, he didn't. I'm ..." I hesitate, thinking back, thinking about Eric and how he kissed me to apologize. He was serious about it. He was serious about us, I know it. And now I'm switching sides again. But how else could I explain to Four why we were alone together there, so close together. "I'm glad you came. Thank you."
"Tris ..." he stops, taking both of my hands in his. "I promised, that nothing will happen to you here. Not as long as I'm by your side. Don't say thank you."
I smile at him and gently kiss his lips.
"I'll let Max know about this." I back away a bit with my mouth falling open.
"No. No, don't tell him." I say quietly. I don't know what will happen to Eric if anyone finds out about this. I don't know what will happen to me. Four still looks at me, not happy about what I just told him.
"Why? What if he will try it again?" His voice sounds worried.
"I don't want anyone to know about this. I mean ... not yet. Please, Four." He nods, wrapping his arms around me again. I'm surprised, shocked at how I am able to lie at Four. But what I did to Eric, it torns my heart into a thousand pieces.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Drama, drama! Thank you for the last reviews. I'm really happy, that so many people actually like this story! Let me know what you think about this chapter. In the next you will finally see what Eric thinks about all this stuff, that's what I cal tell. I'm sorry, that it takes me so long to update. You know ... my finals, ugh. Anyways, have a great day and thank you a lot for leaving a review!