Chapter ▪ Eight

Tris

Today was the last day of stage one. I'll surely make it into stage two, but when I look at Four — no, he won't let me fail just because he was angry. Eric said, that this won't happen and I believed him the moment he said it.

Four and I had a long talk last night and I am still tired. Things didn't work out as I expected them to do. I kissed him and he kissed me back. And that was it. After long two hours he decided to not give me a second chance. Not yet, he said. And now I am all alone. Without Four and without Eric.

I don't want Eric around me at the moment. He used me as a weapon against Four — he used me. He never was interested in me. All he wanted was to show Four what he is capable of. And I was naive enough to play along.

I'm waiting in the dining hall for my friends to see me. But instead of them I see Eric walking down the stairs. I refuse to look at him any longer and don't notice him approaching me.

"Tris?" I hear his dark voice behind me and turn around. He looks tired.

"I don't wanna talk to you." I say quietly as I turn around again. I don't care about the look on his face or how he feels right now. I will show him, that I'm not his toy. I'm not a person he can play that silly game with.

"I see ..." I know he hesitates, thinking about what to do now. I don't even need to look at him. "Can we talk later?"

I wonder what he wants to talk about, but it reminds me that I have something to tell him as well. I nod. "Okay. Good, I'll see you later then."

I didn't sound friendly and I didn't intend to do either. I turn around and see Christina and Will coming. They are happily holding hands and I feel how jealous I get when I look at them.

. . . .

I'm standing in front of Eric's door. Once again. I didn't knock yet, because I saw Four coming up the stairs. I know he noticed me standing here, but he doesn't look at me, not even into my direction. His apartment is on the other side of the corridor. He opens the door but before closing it, he looks at me shortly. It feels like hours, but then he's gone.

Then I see Eric coming up the stairs and he looks surprised as he sees me. He probably saw Four too and expected me to go with him.

"Hey." he says, but doesn't look at me while he unlocks the door to let me in. "So, what about you and Four now?"

"It's complicated." I shrug, keeping my hands in the pockets of my black jacket. It is anything but complicated. In fact it's all clear now. I cheated on him, and even though I lied to him, I know that he knows. It came at a price. "He told me that you tried to use me. Because you are jealous."

"Jealous?" he repeats my words with a more surprised, kind of angry tone in his voice. "I don't have a reason to be jealous."

"What did you use me for then?" I ask and don't notice how I get louder.

"I didn't use you, Tris." he says as he takes a seat on the couch. "Don't listen to that jerk. He has no idea."

"The things he said sounded pretty persuasive."

"Look, if I wanted to use you, I would have done other things."

"Prove me wrong." I demand shortly. I'm surprised at myself for talking to him like this. But this is not the leader of Dauntless standing in front of me now.

"Good." he nods and looks to the other side, probably thinking about what to say. Then he looks back at me again. "I didn't use you and it never was the plan to do so. I saw that you and Four got along and maybe I was a bit jealous. A tiny bit."

His confession leaves me speechless. Eric is very proud and I know, admitting that he's been jealous is difficult for him. More than that. Four was wrong. He didn't use me. Before I could say something he continues.

"I do care about you and I care about us." Slowly he comes closer to me. Then he begins to smile. "It's really hard to put this into words. I usually don't do such stuff."

I go on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck. Then I lean forward to kiss his lips and he kisses me back. I finally know to who I belong to. And I knew it the whole time. Christina was right about what she said earlier.

He kisses me even harder and his hands start running down my sides until I feel them on my naked skin under my shirt. The way he kisses my neck makes me lose my mind for a second and I close my eyes. Not even Four was able to make me feel like this, but I don't want to think about him. Even though I'm with Eric now, I have to admit that Four left a little hole in my heart. Letting him go after everything we've been through is harder than I expected.

. . . .

This morning I wake up next to him. Today I will get to know whether I made it into stage two or not. I look at Eric, who is still sleeping. I wonder if he already knows the answer to my question. He probably knows who made it and who didn't. Gently I tap his shoulders and his eyes slowly open.

"Hey, wake up." I say quietly with a bright smile on my face. Then I lean forward to press a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey." he smiles back at me. "What's the time?"

"Around eight, I think." The sun already got up and I remember seeing it like this when I was at the arena, during the training. "I'm kinda nervous. Do you think I will make it into stage two?"

I'm sure that he knows, that this is just a pathetic attempt to make him telling me what he seems to know about the rankings.

"I know what you are trying to do here." he laughs and I can't do anything but join him. Then I get out of bed, covering the front side of my naked body with my clothes. Before I move out of the room I lean over Eric, gently kissing his lips.

"I'm going to take a shower." I walk toward the door but I stop when I stand in the doorframe. I turn around and lean against it with my back. "Wanna come with me?"

There are times when I don't even recognize myself. I never would have done this with Four. I probably would have waited until he left his apartment to even take a step into the shower. But with Eric things are different. I like the way he looks at me, when I am standing here like this. I don't feel the need to be ashamed or to hide anything because I know, that he likes my body the way it is. And thanks to him, I do too.

. . . .

"Tris, come on!" I hear Christina's voice shouting. "The rankings."

I quickly move toward her and Will. I see them standing close next to each other, but I'm not jealous anymore. I look up to wait for the rankings to show up, just like the rest of the initiants. Then I take a look around.

"Where is Al?" I ask, still searching for his face in the crowd of people.

"He left Dauntless last night." Will says quietly. I can just guess what he said, because I didn't understand a word. There is too much noise around us. But I think I understood him correctly.

"He didn't tell anyone. We just woke up and saw that all his stuff was gone. Four told us that he decided to leave." Christina adds. Before I could even think about him, I look up and notice Eric standing in front of the crowd. He looks good, the way he usually does. But his voice was different. It is his rough Dauntless voice. I know that he is just acting. It causes me to simply smile to myself. I guess, I'm in love.

I see that his lips are moving, but I'm not listening to what they let out. Then the rankings show up and I suddenly feel someone touching my arm. I turn my head to see, that it's Christina, who seems overly excited.

"Tris! You are third? You are better than Will. Well done." she almost screams into my face. Her voice can get very high. I'm surprised. I was never able to beat Will in a fight, but still I am better than him?

"Nice, Tris! Well done." I feel Will touching my shoulder. He is not the type for being jealous and I don't think he is. He is one of the less people, that likes to win, but also can accept a hit every now and then.

I see some friends approaching me, but before they can come any closer I back away. I smile at them. "I'll be back in a minute."

After a few meters of walking backwards I turn around and bump into someone's chest. I look up and see Four, not moving a single bit.

"Welcome to stage two." he smiles and it surprises me. "It's going to get tough from now on."

"Thank you." I say and turn away. I don't want to spend more time with him than necessary. I offered him to stay friends. But that doesn't mean, that I'll have to see him every minute.

I walk down the empty hallway and see Eric from afar. We begin to smile at each other after our eyes met and I keep on walking toward him.

"I did it! I'm third. I'm better than Will. How is that even possible?" Before he can say something I press my lips against his and I feel his arms wrapping around my body. I'm probably the happiest person on earth right now. And it's not just because of the fact that I made it into stage two.

"You did good during the training. You improved the most and that's why you deserve it." he says before kissing me again, longer this time. Hearing it from Eric makes me think, that I really did good and improved. I think I'm even a bit proud of myself for making it this far — for being born Abnegation, it really is far. Being with Eric is a lot easier than I expected. He makes me feel much better and with him I have the feeling, that I finally know where I belong.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Isn't this wonderful? What do you guys think? I just love them together and I've put a lot of effort in this chapter. Thanks for the last reviews, they were heart-warming! Leave a few more if you like this chapter. Thank you!