Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel or any characters featured in either of the seasons.

With Ben In Between

For weeks following that night, Max tried to call Alec, but he never answered or returned her calls. She couldn't visit him at work because you needed a pass to enter on base, and she didn't have one. She felt lost and more lone than she had ever felt in her life. Cindy has been good to her, keeping her from making a complete fool of herself, and hadn't given her a speech along the lines of 'I told you so.' That was a comfort.

"Get up Boo," Cindy instructed stripping the bed of the bedding that was currently cocooning Max in oblivion warmth. "Get up, get presentable and let's go."

"What?"

"You have a delivery to the base in exactly 30 minutes. You have 10 to get presentable and get you butt on that bike." Cindy stated handing her a package that was clearly marked 'Manticore Military Base.' Not believing her luck, Max jumped out of her bed and grabbed the first clean pair of pants and shirt. In 5 minutes, amazingly, Max was out the apartment door and on her bike, off to the base.

"Jam Pony Messenger," she announced to the gate guard. Checking her badge and the package it self, he nodded and opened the gate. Max felt breath get shorter for her as she peddled her way to the main base. "Breathe Max, breath in and out." She coached her self as she got closer. "Hi, I'm looking for Major Swanson's office, I have a package for him." She informed the receptionist at the main door.

"Down the hall, take a right, and walk straight down. You'll come to another desk, they'll buzz you in and just walk to the end of the hall. Major Swanson's office is at the end." Nodding her thanks, Max made her trek to the office. Sure enough, she followed the directions, and delivered the package and never saw Alec. 'Got my hopes up to much,' she thought sadly re-tracing her steps to the front.

"Biggs?" She called out as two men walked pass her. The one in question turned around at his name and saw her standing in the hall.

"Max what are you doing here?" He didn't remember Alec getting her a pass to the base.

"I had to deliver a package to someone, I'm on my way out."

"Oh, that's good," this was awkward.

"Um, is Alec here? I need to talk to him." Biggs looked at her for a second before he turned to his companion and whispered something. For a second she thought Biggs was just going to leave her standing in the hall, but she saw his companion continue walking and Biggs motioned for her to follow him. A few doors down they walked into an office that had his name on the door.

"Max, Alec isn't here."

"Oh, well um…can you tell him to come see me or talk to me sometime. I need-"

"No Max, Alec isn't here, at Manticore anymore." Max blinked, clearly confused, "Three weeks ago he shipped to Manticore's base in Europe. He's going to be there for an indefinite amount of time." Max couldn't breath, he was gone and she couldn't tell him everything she needed to. He left her.

"Oh," she said weakly, swallowing a sob that was threatening to explode. Biggs felt bad for her.

"I'm sorry, I thought he had told you before-"

"Before I messed up?" She joked weakly, tears were starting to brim, "Well sorry for bothering you, I better leave." Turning to leave Max had to swallow another sob.

"Max, are you ok?" Biggs felt like something was wrong, beyond Alec leaving and breaking up with Max, he had a feeling that there was something more.

"Uh, I don't know, Biggs. I…needed to tell him something important, but I can't so…that's that." She croaked swallowing hard and fidgeting.

"Is there anything I can relay next time I talk to him?" He was grasping for straws but he felt for her, even if she subsequently betrayed his best friend.

"I don't think you want to relay what I have to tell him, so no there isn't anything you can relay to him. Don't even mention you saw or talked to me. I gotta go." Walking out the door, Max pulled her cap down over her eyes to hide the tears that were getting heavy with each step.

Biggs sat behind his desk and thought about his encounter with Max. He was torn on what to do. He saw what finding out that Alec had left did to Max, the light went out in her eyes. Part of him wanted to immediately call Alec and tell him about seeing Max, but the solider in him questioned her, she had lied and betrayed his best friend. He should right her off. Sighing he leaned forward and rested his face in his hands, even dead, Ben managed to continue to fuck Alec's life up. "Thank you Benny," he whispered into his hands while thinking at the same time, 'Thank you fucker!'

Once Max was off the base, the tears fell and the sobs wretched through her. She was alone; he had left her and left the country. A few miles away from the base, she had to pull over and just sit, on the ground, and sob. Any hope of her talking to Alec had died when Biggs told her he had left, "indefinitely".

Swallowing her last sob, she stood up and took a deep breath. It was time to let go of Alec and get on with her life. She had to prepare for her future that was not too far away. Taking a shakier breath she closed her eyes.

"You're a fighter, Maxie, you'll survive no matter is thrown at you." Ben's voice floated through her head, he had told her that once when they had first met.

"I think I love you for…hmm…you're…ability to take on any and every thing." Alec's followed; he had said that the night of their anniversary when they were just relaxing together. Hearing his voice in her mind made her stomach flutter, lungs lose air, and heart clench.

After that day at the base, Max had become some completely different. She worked harder than she ever had, and became focused on how to make ends meet for when she would have the baby. Everyone around her saw the drastic change, but no one addressed it. Few knew about the break-up between her and Alec, and only one person knew everything about the break-up. Cindy had never pushed her to reveal what had happened at the base that, even though she knew something had happened. Something that had made her friend a shell of the person she was.

"Boo?" Cindy whispered into her friends bedroom where one sole candle was lit.

"Yeah," Max's voice floated through the air. Hearing a rustle of sheets and blankets, Cindy could make out Max's body turning to face her.

"What happened?" Though simple and some what vague, Max knew exactly what Cindy was asking and referring to. When Max didn't say anything for a few moments, Cindy walked into the dark room and laid beside her room mate and friend. It was then that Cindy saw a silent trail of tears making their way down Max's cheeks. "Oh Boo," pulling the Max into her arms she rocked her slowly.

"I saw Biggs at the base," Max whispered, "Alec left Manticore and moved to the European base for "an indefinite amount of time." He's been gone for three weeks," the last part came out in an anguished voice that tore at Cindy's heart. "And now I'm all alone because I screwed up. I should have listened to you that night, I should have told him from the beginning, but I--I just wanted Ben so badly that I would settle for anything!" Max sobbed.

"Shh, Boo...I know," Cindy soothed.

"Oh god it hurts, Cindy. It hurts to think about him, think about how I hurt him. I can't breath sometimes, I can't think, all I want is to go back and tell him in the beginning and hope that he ends up loving me. Not leaving me all alone."

"Boo, look at me," reluctantly Max did, "you messed up, yes and all you can do is go forward; with or without Ben or Alec, you have to. You have a baby growing inside of you that needs you be strong. I know you hurt, I know, but you can't become this shell. It won't make the pain go away, it'll make it dormit for awhile and then you'll hurt too much." Max made a motion to speak, "listen to me Boo. You need to cry it all out now and then get up and go on with life. Alec hurt you, and you hurt yourself when you hurt him. You're gonna have to live with that, no matter what, and that might even mean living with out Alec all together," whipping away a trail of tears Cindy stared at her best friend straight in the eye, "but you'll learn to live with it. Maybe some day down the road you won't hurt," whipping more tears away, "but right now what is important is you pull yourself together, now."